A Matter of Time
by Elodie Grimmesey
Summary: In Atlanta, Georgia, 4200 miles away from home, Alice Lockwood is in trouble; the world has just ended. If she's alone any longer she won't make it. She needs to adjust to the end of the world and she needs someone to rely on. Unsure of her own morality and hope, and entangled in the coverup of a murder, she finds comfort in her abrasive conversations with the defensive redneck.
1. Part One - 1 - Hell in a Handbasket

**Part One - Adjustments**

 **1 - Hell in a Handbasket**

 _"It happened that a fire broke out backstage in a theater. The clown came out to inform the public. They thought it was a jest and applauded. He repeated his warning. They shouted even louder. So I think the world will come to an end amid the general applause from all the wits who believe that it is a joke."_

 _\- Søren Kierkegaard_

* * *

Shattered glass and spilled drinks, and even a little black blood coated the tiles, though the brunette couldn't see much of them in the unlit store. Her hands were quick as they moved the last three cans- of what, she didn't know- into her backpack and zipped it half up. Quietly, she crouched to see what remained of the bottom shelf. It had taken a few weeks for her to realize that people had been rushing too much to check the back of those lower shelves, which meant sometimes there might be an extra scrap for her to eat. One lonely little bag sat at the back of the shelf, it's silhouette just barely darker than the shelving. The packet rustled, snapping the silence, as the scavenger took it and unzipped her bag fully to add it to her small collection. She'd loved food before this, but now she had to eat whatever came by in crappy little quantities.

Glass crunched somewhere. She stood, grasping her baseball bat with clammy hands. Not another of them. Her shoulders were hunched around the bat and her pulse was throbbing in her ears as she begged for it to just walk away, but sounds continued around the store. Crunching, the thud of metal rolling into the bottom of a shelf, the shuffling of material dragging along something. The shelf before her wobbled back and forth, creaking dangerously. If it fell on her- her hands shook as she tried to fasten the zipper of her backpack. It was on her back and the bat was back in her hands with the quivering speed that only adrenaline could bring. She stood to the sound of her own loud breathing and started creeping down the aisle towards the grey rays of light that slipped in from outside. If she was quiet then maybe it wouldn't follow her.

"Hey, wait!"

The journalist spun, pointing the bat towards the sound. She was a sight to the man, backlit by the cloudy Atlanta light, blood splattered across her. He stood at the other end of the aisle, the dark side. In normal times the fridges behind him would have given off an artificial white light and a mildly irritating buzz. Now, silence.

"Who are you?" she asked, "I don't have anything to give you." The looters had been bad, setting fires to cars and throwing bricks through windows to steal televisions, but the bandits were worse. The brunette called them bandits because it seemed right for the type of person that attacked and stole.

The stranger walked forward, palms in the air, and began to speak, "I'm Glenn- look I won't do anything. No need to hit me, I just want supplies for our camp." As the light began to reach him, the woman could see his red cap. It had looked menacing in the darkness, but now it was calming. A reminder of the old world before armed thugs roamed the streets in dark hoods.

"What camp? The refugee center went to hell in a handbasket."

"A bunch of us made camp in some quarry when they napalmed the city. It's on maps and stuff. People have been joining us ever since. You could come with me- if you don't hit me."

The scavenger considered slowly. What if they napalmed the city again? What if this group wasn't all that good?

She lowered the bat. "Alice. I'm Alice."

* * *

The pair were walking through a department store. The shutters were down, which left them with Glenn's lone flashlight to see. Alice held her baseball bat close as they walked.

"Lori said the girls need more… underwear. Could you uh, grab it for me?" asked Glenn, his cheeks going red.

"I got it." She said, moving across the store to the underwear section. Wooden shelving rose to the ceiling, with the best bras and underwear separately laid out on it. The other bras and underwear hung around her, manakins towering out of the two racks at intervals to sexily display the best of the lingerie. She didn't like leaving his side. Alice just grabbed what she could before making to move away.

"I don't know sizes so I just grabbed a bunch, is that okay?" she called across the store. Silence greeted her, and Alice felt uneasy. Turning, she couldn't see his light so she tried to make out Glenn's head through the aisles. She saw the top of one moving across the store in the jean department, near the back corridor they'd come in through. She wondered if he was leaving without her. Alice was about to call to him again when she saw another two heads appear, and then more behind those. Shit. She dropped into a crouch, wondering if they'd heard her shout. The walkers were blocking the door. Alice moved to grab a hanger but stopped herself. If Glenn hadn't left her then he was here somewhere, and throwing things to distract the walkers could lead them right to him. His presence didn't change that the group, a dozen she thought, was staggering in her direction. Alice peered under the racks but couldn't see the boy's feet.

She listened to the shuffling and periodic groaning, trying to create a mental map of the dark room. A set of hangers clacked together as they were knocked, and then clattered about as some fell. The dead were close. Moving with fervor, Alice stayed to the wall and attempted to bypass the dead. She could see the walkers tumbling along down the center aisle looking for the source of her shout.

Where was the exit from here?

She stood, catching sight of the light spilling into a corridor in the opposite corner, but dropped when she saw a figure appear from the clothing racks she ducked back down again, turning to them, and raising her hands in a 'what the hell?' motion.

Glenn shrugged before gesturing to where the exit was. He moved forward, grabbing onto the clothing rack, and holding 3 fingers up. Alice nodded and grabbed the next one in preparation to push away their cover.

3\. 2. 1.

They pushed the racks and ran, tumbling through the corridor and past the back offices to the fire door. Alice slammed it closed but it opened to the outside which meant the dead could just push the busted lock open. Moments later, the dead started growling behind the door, forcing their entire bodyweights into the door as one large weight.

"We need something to block this or somewhere to run." She groaned as Glenn joined her pressing against the door. They couldn't hold it for very long. The alleyway before them was empty now but that could change with the noise they were making.

"There's nowhere here to hide. Trust me, I know the area." He stopped as they both pressed back harder against the doors. Alice felt her tennis shoes slipping on the gravel. "I thought we closed the door."

"I don't know." Alice looked at him then said, "I have an idea. Can you hold this alone for a minute?"

Glenn nodded, and she slowly backed off the door before jogging to the end of the alleyway. The street outside wasn't huge so there were only half a dozen walkers stumbling around. They were far enough away that Alice figured it was worth the risk. Weaving out into the road, Alice reached the silver motorcycle that had been left overturned in the center. She'd spotted it on the way in. Alice threw her baseball bat onto the ground to lift the motorcycle. It was heavy and Alice felt her arms burn a little as she lifted. Her hands moved faster than her brain, finding the key in the ignition and remembering how to operate the thing. Hearing the roar of the engine she was cautious for a second, moving slowly down the alleyway to Glenn.

She saw him staggered down against the door, arms stretched out. Relief crossed his face as she stopped.

"Get on!" she called, and he let go of the doors. The dead spilled out behind him, rushing for the motorcycle, but the pair were already long gone. Glenn whooped on the back of the bike as Alice rode along the sidewalk around a traffic jam. "Where am I going?"

"Down to the quarry. I know the way."

* * *

What the fuck, Glenn?" a man yelled, striding over to where Alice had stopped the bike. He was running a hand back and forth through his curled black hair and holding a black shotgun with the other.

"She saved my ass in Atlanta," Glenn said, climbing off the bike. Alice stayed on it, waiting for them to inevitably tell her to leave. Maybe she could head to the coast, find a boat. She had to find her parents.

The foreigner watched as the new man looked back and forth between the two. A crowd was gathering behind him from the many tents.

A blonde woman strode over, a handgun visible in her belt against her blue shirt. "Who's this?"

"I'm Alice." She said, looking to Glenn for support.

"Look, she's cool. I found her scavenging and asked her to come with me. She helped me get supplies before we got trapped in a store. If she wasn't there then I wouldn't have been able to get away." Glenn said, "I was holding the walkers while she got the motorcycle. If she was bad then she woulda just driven away, Shane."

Alice realized that Glenn gave her credit for a decision she hadn't even intended to make. "I wouldn't just ride off- I'm not a complete piece of shit." She climbed off of the motorbike, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Well, 'lotta people are." Shane said, "Dale, you still got that spare tent?"

An elderly man approached at that, stopping and adjusting the rifle on his back as he looked at Alice. "Of course. Here, I'll show you where it is." He said.

After a reassuring nod from Glenn, Alice followed the man named Dale. He wore a stupid hat that oddly suited him. "I'm Alice." She said, feeling a bit like a parrot. "Thank you… for helping. Really appreciate it, actually."

"Dale Horvath, nice to meet you. You're not from around here, though. On vacation?"

"No uh, I moved here last September. I'm a journalist." Alice noted the scattered tents and the way they left a large area in the center of them all for a fire-pit. It was that area that now held groups of people sat on chairs. She was aware of them looking at her as they talked. Talking about her, she imagined. "Everyone usually this nosey?"

"Says the journalist." Dale joked, "They're curious, I imagine. No one's joined this camp for maybe a month. It's easy to imagine that most of the world is dead."

"It's not like I'm part of the paparazzi or anything. Besides, Atlanta isn't really dead, not yet." Alice looked away as she said "There's a lot of looters and bandits. I bet there are decent people but they don't make their presence known if they can."

"That why you came back with Glenn?"

She took a long breath before looking back at Dale to reply. "I don't know how long that city has. They won't evacuate it when they bring in the support; all they're gonna do is bomb it again."

Dale busied himself opening the RV door and gesturing for her to follow before he responded, "You still think the military is coming?"

Alice bit her lip, feeling through the denim of her jacket for the phone in her pocket. It had been out of power for weeks, which didn't matter with the phone lines down. "They're the military, the government. They have to be. How are we alive if they aren't?"

"You make a good point." He was stood in the bedroom, digging under the bed. Alice took the moment to look at the RV, which was a quaint little thing and full of odds and ends. Mismatched cutlery in the drying rack, a game of monopoly on the table, a photo album tucked next to the driver's seat. She picked up the little metal racecar, smiling. "You like monopoly?" Dale asked, holding a black bag that must have held the tent in.

"Yeah. I used to play a lot as a kid, sometimes with my parents, and occasionally with myself. I'd a couple players, but I always made sure the racecar won. It's my favorite."

"Is there a reason or do you just like it?"

"I like the speed. Must be why I'm a reporter, watching the way the world flips itself over and over again, lightning quick." Alice turned the car over between her fingers before placing it back down, "Don't like this, though."

"No one does, I'm afraid."

* * *

Alice was scared of the mass of people gathering for food. She'd dumped the underwear on Glenn after he helped her put up the neon red tent, not wanting to approach the women she didn't know with lingerie. This was something she couldn't avoid, though, and ended up squished between Glenn and a guy named T-Dog. The darkness of the woods made her jumpy, especially with the fires and the noise coming off of the people. Alice hadn't even dared light a candle in her apartment back in Atlanta.

"Here," Glenn said, passing out the three bowls he'd been balancing to her, T-Dog and keeping one for himself. It was pasta and what must have been canned tomatoes. Alice reckoned it looked alright for a post-disaster meal.

"I can not wait for takeout." She said before shoving a mouthful of the pasta into her mouth. "Or to have a shower, damn."

T-Dog turned in his chair, bumping his bowl against hers with a plastic clack. Alice felt awkward at the motion, pasta still in her mouth.

"Hell yes, I could use a cheeseburger. Please Lord, let the fast food be okay." He laughed.

"Speaking of the city, I was gonna ask you," Glenn said, drawing her attention. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat for a moment, "Since my car died I've been struggling to go on the runs. I could use someone to watch my back while I'm out there, get me out of a tight spot."

Alice bit her nail, considering. She wasn't any good at killing the dead and was too jumpy to properly journalist did it because she had to, not because she wanted to. "I wouldn't be much help."

"I only survived today 'cause you got us out of there."

It was dangerous, downright stupid, but Alice wanted to be useful. More than that, she wanted to go back to the city. The ruin was hard to believe. It made sense, somehow, to go with Glenn. "We'll need to get some gas." She said, "and we need to stop outside of Atlanta. The noise of the motorbike will draw them to us, otherwise."

"Most places have been looted so we're gonna have to go somewhere big, somewhere where people might have left scraps. Especially if we wanna get a new CV. Shane mentioned that ours is busted and we need it to call for help." Alice nodded to the plan even though it meant there'd be a lot of walkers. If they were quiet then they'd be fine, she hoped. Her stomach churned.

Alice turned to observe the woods out of fear of the dead but instead spotted a smaller camp just a stone's throw away from the other tents. Just one tent with two men sat around their own tiny fire roasting something.

T-Dog said, "That's Merle Dixon and his brother, Daryl. I wouldn't go near those two. Merle's a whole boatload of nasty."

"Why don't they camp over here with you?"

"Guess they'd rather keep to themselves. Shane doesn't trust them one bit." He said before going back to his pasta.

Alice turned back, looking at the Dixon's. In the low light, she couldn't see much of them but something sparked her interest, made her curious. No, she told herself, pushing down the curiosity. She had more to worry about. After saying goodnight to everyone Alice retreated to the pile of borrowed blankets in her tent. She opened her empty backpack, having donated the food to the camp, and fished out of the bottom a notepad and pen. The journalist never went anywhere without one. Scribbling to test the pen, Alice began to jot down a list and a plan.

Tomorrow was as good a day to get bit as any other.

* * *

 **A/N : I just want to say a big thank you to anyone who's read this. The fact that literally anybody is reading what I've written means a lot to me. 3**

 **This story will follow the canon plot somewhat even though I will be filling some gaps of skipped time and diverging from parts of the plot. It's really just some of our favourite characters (and not so favourite) from a new perspective since I was rewatching Seasons 1 and 2 and I was missing the old style of Team Family being together** **doing things.**

 **It's gonna be a slowburn DarylxOC and a few characters are going to be dying in different places/times in addition to a few plot changes. If you don't like OC's or variations from the show plot then this story isn't for you, but if you do, I hope you stick around for more!**

 **DISCLAIMER : No characters, plots, references, etc from The Walking Dead Universe are owned by me. Only my OC and my prose are mine.**


	2. 2 - You Scared of the Dark?

**Part One - Adjustments**

 **2 - You Scared of the Dark?**

* * *

They left just after dawn, hoping to avoid the midday heat. It made the dead reek more, like out-of-date meat in the middle of a heatwave. The pair stood on the roof of a department store, looking out over the city. There were no lights or sounds, save for the meandering dead and a few echoing, faraway car alarms. It wouldn't be long before all the cars ran out of battery, silencing the last of the noise. The city had been busy, once, a cacophony of noise that never really stopped no matter what the time of day way.

"I like to keep this place as a home base, a safe room." Glenn said, "Somewhere to run for if it goes south."

"It's still in the city, still dangerous. Smart, though." Alice pulled at her ponytail to tighten it. The ends of her hair just reached the back of her neck, sticking to the sweat there. The heat was too much. "Where are we going?"

"Stoneley Mall. It's twenty minutes from here on foot, but we make it to there and there won't be any walkers inside; they closed it up when things went bad." Glenn held the map against the ledge and ran a finger along the route they'd take, "We cut through these buildings. They were clear when I was last there."

"But, if they locked it up then we can't get in. Dale's old hacksaw isn't exactly going to get through some chain."

"Someone's already busted in so we'll be able to use the shutter they opened. If that's not an option then," he nodded to the bag of tools, "we use the bolt cutters."

Alice crouched over the red bag, one hand resting on the hatchet tucked into her belt. The weight of it was a foreign object, digging into her side when she leaned forward, "You're way too smart."

"I just do the runs," he said like it wasn't an accomplishment that he'd been coming in and out of Atlanta since the start and he was alive. Alice nearly hadn't been a lot of times, and all she'd done was sit at home and wait for Delia to come home with something to eat. She remembered the day she'd come back, her clothes all torn up and black blood splattered down her face, and Alice knew she had to go with her on the runs as a backup. Looking at Glenn, Alice wondered if she'd ruined Delia's luck. She thought that she'd ruin his too.

"I was with someone before I met you. My ex." Alice fiddled with the screwdrivers in the bag, remembering how Delia would use one to stab the walkers through the eye. Delia called them drunks, because of how they walked. She never liked drinking. They'd fallen out over Alice's enjoyment of beer more than once. "She died. On our first run together. Her runs never went that bad, not before I went."

Glenn stood, not quite knowing what to say, "You kicked ass yesterday and I like having someone to watch my back. If I ever get trapped in a tight spot, I know I won't be alone."

Alice couldn't exactly back out now, leave him alone to do a run he'd planned for two. She nodded to herself.

Glenn spoke as they picked up the little they'd brought, "I thought you had no one in America."

"Just her. We'd broken up before it all. That didn't matter, not when the military started losing." the journalist looked away, remembering the hurried knocks on her apartment door and the terrified face of Delia when Alice had finally opened it.

"I left my family to move here. When this happened, I hoped that they'd come to Atlanta like everyone else. I don't know if they ever made it out of Michigan."

"They evacuated up north to Minneapolis and New York," Alice remembered the articles, "Canada started closing their borders when the infection spread here before Vancouver fell."

"How do you know all this?"

"I took a special interest in it," Alice looked away, "I just figured that it was another craze, you know? Something I'd never have to worry about."

"If I knew, I would have gone home," Glenn admitted, swinging the roof access door open. Alice took it as a sign that they needed to go, and she calmed her beating heart the best she could.

* * *

The mall was a short grey building that sat meekly between two giant offices. The stone wall was smooth and untarnished save for the large red letters protruding out, reading 'Stoneley Mall'. There were no windows on the building, something Alice hadn't thought of on the way over. It'd be pitch black inside.

The journalist stood with one foot propped up against the concrete stairs, waiting. She didn't like that the whole street was empty of walkers but she knew better than to go looking for them. Wherever the dead had gone, there were bound to be more.

Her legs felt heavy, dread pulling her back. Past the shutters there was a thick darkness that obscured all view. Alice watched Glenn as he fished in his backpack, pulling out two flashlights and handing one over. The flashlight was a solid, reassuring weight in her left hand. She pulled out her hatchet, just in case. She hung back as they climbed the stairs, just in case Glenn needed room to move quick.

Glenn flicked his flashlight on when he got to the top of the stairs, getting up real close to shine it inside the doorway. The light stretched for a few feet into the blackness, illuminating the dirty white tiling. With a nod, the man moved through the doors and became a silhouette shrouded in blackness. Alice turned on her own flashlight and followed him in. Their footsteps were the only sounds in the quiet. On their right, a glass storefront used the light to reflect eerie reflections back at them.

"I think the computer store's on the other side, Glenn."

He stopped, looking at her, "You know the way?"

"There." The journalist shone her light over to the wall past the glass, illuminating a map of the first floor. Once Glenn had gone to the map with his own flashlight, Alice moved her light about, the ray of light bouncing around the darkness. There was a corpse in front of one store, old, dark blood coating the glass. Alice couldn't see much flesh left in the mess of muscles and bones. "I thought you said they closed this down?"

"I guess they lied about it being empty when they closed it. Looks like they put them all down," He said, gesturing with the light to another body, bloody hole in its forehead. The walkers just looked like human corpses, less decayed and torn apart than most. Alice took off after Glenn when he resumed walking, flashlights bouncing around as they watched for any reanimated dead.

They came to the food court, a large circular room with different food places dotted around it. The area stank of decay and out of date milk. A set of escalators sat in the middle, leading up to the second floor, and two corridors stretched away into darkness on either side of them.

Alice's beam of light landed on an old box of food. She looked around uneasily, but saw and heard nothing in the total black around her. It reminded Alice of the underground, looking out of the train window to see pure darkness. There was no safely lit train to protect her here. She spun, light bouncing around, but saw nothing except the gleam of the white light on the glass storefronts. It was eerie, the dark quiet.

"Upstairs or downstairs?" she asked. Glenn made his way over to a map of both floors between the escalators before replying, "Up, and to the left."

Alice didn't trust the dead-still escalator. It didn't feel right to walk up an escalator like it was just stairs. Glenn climbed up beside her, occasionally turning around to check behind them. Upstairs, the closest store sat on the corner, a big display of posters covering the glass. The doors had a pile of stools scattered behind them, the round kind that you sit on to try on shoes. It looked like they'd been stacked up against the door, and then knocked down.

Shining her light on the mess, Alice moved closer. "Why make a barricade if the military came in and cleared this place out?"

"We should go," Glenn said, "There are other places to get supplies,"

"Those places are futher out and full of walkers though, right?"

A crash echoed through the halls. The pair turned off their lights, backing up against the display, but the sound was coming from where they'd just been, not where they were going.

"Did someone just open that other shutter?" Alice asked.

Glenn nodded, raising a finger for her to be quiet. There was a chance that it would be normal looters, people just coming for scraps- except, Alice wouldn't have ever touched this place alone. The only reason she'd agreed was that it was the only place big enough to provide for the whole quarry camp that didn't have hundreds of walkers around it.

Lights bounced down the hallway, followed by laughter and booming voices.

"Man, it is dark in here."

"You scared of the dark? You little bitch." the voices were deep, male, and had a cruel twist to their words.

The journalist swore under her breath, pulling Glenn back against the wall behind them. He looked concerned, but Alice couldn't explain right there.

She could just see down the escalator and saw the group advancing into the food court. If they were lucky, the darkness would hide the pair from the group, of which there must have been a dozen, all holding flashlights and enough guns for an armory hanging from their bodies. They must have raided one of the fallen military blockades. If the men saw them, the pair wouldn't be able to escape from the locked up building, not with them blocking the way.

"Why don't you all shut up so we can make a plan? I want a smoke before we start looking for shit."

The group stood at the bottom of the escalators, messing with something. Alice dropped into a crouch as she heard something click and an orange light filled the space around them. They were lighting cigarettes. Must have been confident that nothing would happen to them. Alice needed to find a fire exit before the group- of which the journalist was sure were bandits- found them. She pulled along, almost crawling as she moved towards the corridor on her left. She realized she was struggling to breathe. Images of Delia being shot down were flashing in her mind.

A shuffling echoed down the same corridor that Alice was headed towards. Dragging feet, not steps. She moved back to Glenn, peering cautiously down at the floor below. They could stay quiet for now, but they'd have to move very soon. One of the bandits pointed their light upwards, studying the faux daytime painted onto the roof. Through the minimal light, Alice saw the pair of walkers staggering towards the railing. They weren't far, just two storefronts down the left corridor, and aiming straight for the center. A blue toilet sign glowed in the light on the opposite wall.

The dead would see Alice and Glenn before they made it over the barrier, though. Nudging Glenn, she gestured to the store that had been barricaded with the chairs, and the pair moved around the display to reach the doorway. Alice barely breathed as she took each step, one hand grasping at her hatchet and the other resting on Glenn's arm to follow him.

She heard a shout, and turned for a moment to see one walker reach over the railing before tumbling down, followed just after by a loud crunch and shouting. The flashlight that had been pointing to the ceiling moved, plunging the pair back into darkness. Where had the other walker gone?

Glenn must have thought the same, because Alice felt his arm yank her, moving quickly. She felt him turn into the store from earlier and realized that the stools from the barricade were around them, out of sight and easily disturbed. She stood, using her hands and feet to feel the air before her. There wasn't anyone behind them yet.

Something toppled, and then thudded on the floor. It came from in front of her. Glenn had knocked a stool over. Every sound seemed a thousand times louder in the silence, especially when you were hiding.

A shout came from below, "Fuck, is that more braindead upstairs?"

Her heart faltered, remembering the weapons strapped to them, and she followed Glenn's path until he stopped. The silhouette of something sat before her, and Alice realized it was one of those big round clothing racks. Climbing in after Glenn, she ended up crouched against him as he rested on one knee, the hangers still tapping together from their entry.

A series of thuds and bangs came from somewhere, maybe the doorway, followed by thundering footsteps. White light shone into the room. Alice breathed through pursed lips, trying to make her breathing inaudible.

"Jesus Christ, this one musta been sexy back when it was alive." She heard a faint groan, and then a loud crack, before another crunch accompanied by the squelch of brain matter.

"You fuckin' creep." Laughter echoed, and then stopped, "Why the hell did it come in here? It knew we was downstairs."

"I ain't the Wizard of Oz. Go have a look if you think something's up. One inside probably jus' knocked somethin' and drew it over,"

More footsteps followed, and the sound of something rolling. The light cast a shadow on the floor, and it crept under the bottom of the coat rack and onto their feet. She stood still, clutching at Glenn for balance. Her heart murmured in her eardrums as it beat. She didn't want to die, not here, not being shot in the middle of a coat rack in some abandoned mall. She didn't want to die at all.

"If someone's touchin' our shit I'll be mad."

"There ain't no one here but the brain-dead. Pete's gonna get mad soon; He wants out of here by sundown."

The light moved away, and footsteps thudded back down the hallway. Alice heard voices talking, but couldn't hear what they were saying. She took a deep breath, finally feeling like she could breathe. Alice and Glenn stayed perched together, listening for every little noise. Minutes might have passed, but to them, it felt like hours.

Glenn whispered, "How do we get out? Can we reason with them?"

"I don't know." She replied, before slowly pushing apart two coats to peer outside the rack. There was no light on the second floor and Alice reckoned they'd gone back downstairs. "Some walkers must have gotten stuck when they locked it up, or some people who were bit died in here."

They sat for a few minutes, it felt like, staring at each other's dark grey silhouettes.

"I've seen a group like this before," Alice dragged her hand over her face, "They- they killed Delia. Tried to rape her." The memories were overwhelming again, too much.

* * *

The stars were out when they finally made it back to camp.

The hours in the bathroom had proved uneventful, despite the footsteps storming by. A bandit group held no interest in the bathrooms and, hours later, left. Alice and Glenn had heard the noise fade and the gunshots being fired outside before risking leaving the bathroom. There were windows smashed in, shards of glass carpeting the lower floor, but no bandits.

"You two feel like talking about today yet?" Shane asked, a look of agitation on his face. "I mean, you left early this morning and you came back after dark with nothing."

"We got trapped." Glenn said, "Bunch of people with guns came in, talking about how it was their stuff and that there'd be trouble if someone touched it."

"The new CB wasn't worth getting shot at, or staying in Atlanta at night." Alice said, "No way out of there without them seeing us. We waited until they left, that's why we're so late."

"You haven't seen them people before, Glenn? How many runs you done to that city - five, six?"

"Eight." Glenn corrected, "I haven't been around that area before, but everyone said we needed the CB to hear any new messages."

Shane ran a hand through his black hair, shotgun resting across his legs, and nodded, "I want more people on the night watch, make sure no one comes out here claiming things. But do not worry people, they have bigger targets in the city. It's just a precaution, that's all."

Glenn said, "You said we needed food. How much longer can we last?"

"A couple days, but I'm gonna need you to do a run before it gets serious. Think you can manage that?"

"I can go tomorrow, but I'm not going back unarmed." He said. Alice shrunk into her chair.

"I'll go." A voice announced, and Alice turned to see that Andrea had been the one to volunteer, "I've got the gun that my dad gave me."

"Me too. If Andrea goes then so am I." Amy said, but Andrea immediately put a hand on her sister's shoulder.

"You're not coming, Amy. I want you to stay here."

Morales, who sat with his wife and two children, interrupted the bickering between the two, "Let me go with your sister, Amy. I'll make sure she gets back just fine." Alice hadn't ever spoken to the man, but Glenn had pointed him out before they'd left that day. She couldn't imagine leaving behind your kids to go back to that city.

Glenn looked at Alice, questioning, but she shook her head. She was done with the place. It was the only place in America she'd known, but she wouldn't go back if she could help it.

It was then that Merle Dixon sauntered into the center. His body swayed as he walked, and Alice realized he was completely out of his tree on drugs.

"You people ever plannin' on inviting me?" he boomed, "Seems you people ain't got no manners, so I'm invitin' myself.

Shane straightened up, scowling at Merle, "I don't need you putting this group in danger."

Merle laughed, "Don'tcha you worry, Officer. I'll be just fine by the morning." The man grinned, turning to wink at Andrea, "Hey sugartits, you wanna help a man out? I got a real bad itch." His hands gestured to his crotch. Alice laughed as Andrea stuck her finger up at Merle.

Alice felt something against her arm and turned to see that Glenn had nudged her. His cap was back on, a few dark hairs poking out from under it.

"You aren't coming?"

"It's so dangerous. You don't have to go, Glenn, you really don't." Alice said, "If you need me I'll come, but I'm…" Scared.

"What?"

"Nothing. Do you need me to come?"

"No. I don't like having so many people anyway; I've always gone into Atlanta alone before today."

"More people to watch your back." Alice offered, trying not to feel bad about not going with them. The anxiety crept up her spine at the thought of it though, images of being shot racing in her mind. It made her feel sick with fear, the idea of a bullet tearing through flesh and organs.

"More people to get up shit creek with." He corrected her before standing, "I wanna get some sleep before tomorrow if I can."

"Night, Glenn."

Alice didn't sleep for a long time that night, and when she did, she dreamt of running from beams of light, never moving fast enough to get away.

* * *

Alice woke up again while it was still fairly dark. Despite the heaviness of her eyelids, closing her eyes just left her lay mindlessly tossing and turning. Her brain was awake. Shoving on her shoes, she ventured outside to find out the time. Alice felt lonely inside the small tent.

The sky was a shade of blue-grey tinted with enough light to signal the coming dawn. A figure stood on watch, so she climbed up the back of the RV and waved as she got to the top.

"Morning, Shane." She said, taking the seat he'd left empty, "Tell me to move, if you want the chair."

"You're up early." He commented, cap low on his face. He stood, figure offset against the lightening sky. "Reminds me of my partner; he used to get up at the stupidest of times. The man loved getting up and having breakfast with Lori and Carl."

"What was his name?"

"Rick. He was in a coma when this all happened." Shane moved, picking up a flattened camping chair and folding it out. He didn't look at her while he spoke about Rick.

"Lori's husband, right?"

Shane took a seat, holding his shotgun with the butt pressed against the roof of the RV.

"He was my best friend too." He looked down, then away. He was on watch, sure, but Alice thought that he wasn't looking at her on purpose, "I used to date this girl, Patty Taylor. We were together in high school, and every day I go to him telling him that I ain't got a clue what to do with her, and every day that sonofabitch knows exactly what I should do, every time."

"He sounds like a good man."

He paused for a long time before saying, "Yeah. Yeah, I just wanna be half the man he was."

"I'm sorry." She said. It was just something you said when you had nothing else to say.

"I saved Lori and Carl, that's the main thing." He looked at her, "You have any family over here?"

"Nope. It was just me." She played with the zipper of her jacket, detaching and reattaching the end. "The phone lines were already down by the time I realized it was serious. I'm stupid - didn't believe that it could get this bad. But if dodos can go extinct from being hunted, I guess humans can too. Never got to call my parents."

"I'm sorry." He said, looking her in the eye, and she knew he was saying it for the same reason that she did. Mutual guilt held the two for a moment. "Did you just compare all of this to dodo birds?"

"I don't mean any disrespect. I just mean the dead are hunting us extinct." Alice stumbled over the words, oblivious to the grin he struggled to hold back, "Oh god, I don't kno-"

The sound of twigs snapping caused the pair to jump to their feet. Shane pointed his shotgun down, slowly scanning the direction the sound had come from.

A figure hidden by shadow shoved past a bush, reminding Alice of the bandits from the mall for a second, before coming into view.

"Damnit Carl, your mother told you not to leave our sight. What were you doing in the woods?" Alice watched Shane climb down from the RV two rungs at a time to speak to the boy who was awkwardly stood, looking guilty.

"I needed the toilet."

"You best let one of us know next time so we can go with you, yeah?" Shane reached forward, ruffling the kid's hair, "C'mon, it's early."

Carl kept his eyes to the ground, and as he walked with Shane back to his tent, Alice wondered if Shane was doing more than just trying to help his best friend's family.

* * *

Alice stood by as the group loaded into the van, joined by T-Dog and Jacqui who'd joined the party that morning. Glenn gave her a wave before jumping into the passenger seat. The others were already inside the van, save for Morales, who stood beside it to hug his family. Alice wasn't sure how Merle had managed to be the first one ready, sat smoking on the bonnet- no, that was a hood here- of the van.

"What am I supposed to do all day without my tools?" Dale mused beside her, "I can't work on the RV."

"I remember a board of monopoly in your possession. I'm a mean landlord, you know." Alice said, smirking at Dale, "Want me to prove myself by beating you?"

"If there's nothing else to do, I submit to playing a game with you before my watch."

Alice stopped to see Morales get into the van and start the engine, cautiously starting to drive away up the dirt path. A bad feeling pulled at her chest.

Even as the pair began to walk away, Alice couldn't help but turn back and watch the van as it disappeared into the trees. An ill feeling followed her, but there was nothing she could do now. Mentally calculating how long there was before the group was supposed to return, Alice turned and continued walking on.

"Dale?"

"Yes?"

"I'm being the racecar."

* * *

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, followed or faved the first chapter (you're my favourite people in the world now) and another thank you to anyone who has also read this chapter. I'll keep this short so that it doesn't inflate word count. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that it didn't disappoint from the first. Just for the record, Stoneley Mall isn't a real place as far as I know and is just a place I invented for this fic.

DISCLAIMER : No characters, plots, references, etc from The Walking Dead Universe are owned by me. Only my OC and my prose are mine. Updated for a few typos, 29/09/18


	3. 3 - Speaking of the Queen

**Part 1 - Adjustments**

 **Chapter 3 - Speaking of the Queen**

* * *

"What the hell is Boardwalk?" Alice grumbled despite the fact that she got to buy the most valued property on the board, "The most expensive one is called Mayfair back in England." She passed Dale the false paper money and he handed her the property card.

"Different countries, different places," Dale said, shaking the die in his hand before dropping them onto the board. "Seven."

"I mean, why do all of the names end in avenue on this board?" Alice listened to the soft tapping as he moved his piece along, scowling when he landed on 'Just Visiting' instead of something bad. Not that she'd ever wish a bad thing on Dale, but it was Monopoly, and Monopoly was not a game for getting along.

A shout came from outside, and Alice looked out of the window to see Amy crouched over the CB. The brunette moved from the booth at the same time as Dale, just moments faster than him as she thudded to the door and dropped to the ground outside.

"Amy, is that them?"

"I'm not sure." She said, moving aside to let the foreigner join her beside the CB.

"I….highway 85…repeat…city..." the CB crackled, signal barely coming through. Alice strained to try and figure out the rest of the words but heard nothing more the echoes of a male voice and a whisper that might have been Atlanta.

Amy spoke back, frantically shouting at the machine, "I can hear you, you're coming through!"

"That isn't them. It's some guy, I think." Alice said. Amy fiddled with the dial, trying to clear the signal as more static stuttered through. Alice had no idea how to work it and sat, trying to make sense of the static.

Alice turned her head at the sound of voices to see Dale approaching just as the static stopped coming through.

"I couldn't get through to him." the blonde said to Dale. Alice shrugged, stepping back as Shane stomped over with a hatchet in hand. Already flattened twigs cracked under the weight of his rushed movement.

Dale raised a hand to the man, "Come on, son. You know how best to work this."

Alice stood by as Shane crouched beside the CB, swinging his hatchet into a tree stump for no apparent reason, and spoke into the CB, "Is the person who called still on the air? This is Officer Shane Walsh, broadcasting to a person unknown. Please respond. I repeat, Officer Shane Walsh broadcasting to person unknown. Over." He paused, waiting, but nothing came back through, "They're gone."

"Did he say he was going to the city?" Alice asked. She felt a sadness in her chest at this person going there, seeing the mess of it. If they were going into the city, they must still expect the refugee center to be there. They'd die looking for safety. He was pretty much already dead.

"He said he was going down highway 85 into Atlanta." Amy said, "He was so close to us."

"I've been sayin' for weeks now that we ought to put signs up, warning people away from the city," Lori said. Alice hadn't noticed her approach but said nothing as the woman glared at Shane. Lori made a good point, but they had nothing to spare on signs and no people to do it, not with most of the quarry camp's inhabitants too terrified to wander down to the water themselves. Shane had to do the runs for water every day.

"Yeah, folks don't know what they're getting into," Amy said.

"We do not have the time-"

Lori snapped at him, "Then we can make the time."

"I don't know about you but I do not think we should be putting signs up, telling' people where we are with the group that Alice and Glenn ran into still runnin' around." Shane stood, staring at Lori, "It is not worth it."

Lori walked away at that, raising her heels and stomping them down a little too hard. Shane followed her after a minute, both disappearing into their blue tent. Alice saw them talking through the mesh window before turning back to Dale, "Want to finish our game?"

* * *

"What's wrong?" Dale didn't pick up the die, ignoring his turn.

"I didn't go on that run." Alice mumbled, "I should have."

"No one can blame you for not wanting to go back," Dale said, reaching forward and to Alice's shock, swept the game pieces from the board into a pile. Seeing her wide eyes he shook his head, "We can finish this another time. I don't think it's the time for monopoly."

Alice nodded in agreement before helping him, separating her money before adding it back to the bank, "I don't think I told Glenn - I know I didn't, about the dead going about in groups in the city. Like, one will brush up against a car and the alarm goes off so more come over. Then one, maybe they accidentally walk into the window, but another one thinks they're trying to get in there so they start whaling on the window and soon, there's a couple dozen of them just trying to get through this one window for no reason."

"You're saying that they follow each other?"

"I think so, but it isn't like follow the leader. They just go where there might be food. I remember them all surrounding around this empty car outside my apartment just because the alarm was going off. Even when the battery died, other walkers kept coming along and joining the crowd. It was like when kids cheat on a test, just blindly doing what the person beside them does. That was how Delia described it, anyway."

"I thought you were alone," Dale said, folding up the monopoly board. Alice tensed up. She'd stopped loving Delia a long time ago, but she'd been all Alice had in this world.

"Oh. My ex, Delia, she visited me just after this started and decided to stay. We were broken up, sure, but neither of us had anywhere else to go. She lived in France for most of her life, so we were both foreigners here." Alice reached for her phone before remembering that it was just dead weight in her pocket, "Bollocks. I stored all my pictures on my phone but, they're gone now."

"Can I ask what happened to her?"

Alice stayed quiet for a long moment, remembering, then nodded, "One of the first runs I ever went on. It was about a month in, she found a bunch of food and I went to help. She was outside, starting up the car when a group came. They shot her down." Alice shrugged, standing as though she might run from the whole truth that clutched her mind, "I ran out the back, after. Never went back there,"

"That's horrific. I'm sorry for your loss." Dale said.

"Everyone's lost someone. I'm just glad that groups like that are rarer than the dead." She said, despite the regret that dragged at her. Alice tried not to think about whether she could have stopped it, saved Delia. She was her back up and she'd done nothing. It was just chance that Alice hadn't been the one out there, starting up the car.

* * *

Alice stood with Lori, a damp t-shirt in her hands. She reached up to hook it over the line before taking the two wooden pegs that Lori handed her. She looked over at the tree line when she was done, watching the four children playing.

"How old is Carl?" she asked, reaching down and picking up the next t-shirt and two pegs.

"He's twelve." Lori said, "I'm glad he's made friends here. Lord knows I don't want to think about what happened to his school friends."

"Yeah, it's terrible," Alice said, turning back to the washing, "At least you have your son." Lori reminded her of the child walkers she'd seen a video of.

"I wish he had his father. He needs a dad at a time like this." Lori closed her eyes for a moment, "Did you have any little brothers or sisters?"

"Nope. Only child, thank God for that. It's bad enough that my parents are back there without me."

"You still think they're alive?" Alice looked up at the woman, narrowing her eyes. There was no reason, other than the complete destruction of society by the living dead, for Alice to think that they were anything other than alive. She was just a glass half full person - sort of. The CB saved her from replying to Lori, crackling away and drawing their attention.

"-is that you? We're in some deep shit- we're- trapped in the department store-" Faces fell in the crowd, especially Alice's. She should have been with them - and the relief she felt that she hadn't just made guilt nag at her more.

"No way. Don't look at me like that, we do not go after them. We don't even know where they mean." Shane said, spinning in a circle as he spoke to the crowd. Dale stood with the CB, twisting the dials to try and end the static. The journalist started to form an idea, ignoring Shane.

"He said department store, right?"

"Alice, we don't know which-"

"I know where he means, we went there yesterday. I can go-" She stepped forward, from between the ranks of people, to face Shane.

"There is no way that you're going anywhere near them. If they're trapped then there's nothing we can do." He towered over her, despite Alice being a good 5'7 or so, and she almost shrunk back from his gaze. Instead, she started walking, pulling the keys for the motorbike from her pocket, "I can get there, pull them away with the sound of the bike. I'll get out of there quick sharp."

She heard his footsteps moving quickly on the ground, following. "No one in this camp is gonna risk their lives on a lost cause. They are already gone - Are you even listening to me?"

Alice's shoes scraped on the ground as she stopped and spun on her heel, "No, no I'm not." She gave him a sickly smile, "Take your 'protect who's left' bullshit and shove it up your arse."

The girl was turning back when an arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back into his chest so hard that she felt the air leave her lungs. His head growled over her shoulder, "It is not worth the risk." His other hand dug into her arm, grabbing for the keys.

"Get off of me!" Alice swung her heel back into his shin. She heard him hiss but he didn't let go. Her fingers clawed around his bicep, clutching the keys with her other hand. He didn't relent, despite the red crescent-moon-shaped marks she'd left along his bicep, and she finally gave in.

"The keys." He growled. She tossed them into a small puddle, a rut of wet mud left from the earlier shower. Shane let go, marching over to the puddle and reaching down. Alice smiled to herself as Shane reached into it, pulling out the keys and wiping them off on his tan pants. They left streaks of brown watermarking his clothes.

He looked back at her, the grey cloud cover washing out his features, "I'm doing what's best for this camp. You will not go to Atlanta."

"I will." She said, moving and making sure to ram her shoulder into him hard enough to make it sore as she walked by him. The crowd watched them as they parted, and Alice couldn't help but be annoyed that no one had tried to stop Shane. She understood why he'd stopped her; people running off and getting killed was not good for the group morale, and letting people go off to die wasn't good for people's consciences either. Yet, she couldn't help but feel angry about being told what to do.

* * *

"Have you heard anything from them?" Alice asked, joining Dale on the RV. She was positive that she'd climbed the ladder of the RV more times in her few days at the camp than she'd climbed any other ladder for the whole duration of her life. Her eyes followed Shane as he sat with Lori and Carl.

"No, nothing has come through." He said, his eyes following her gaze, "I hate to say it but Shane may be right. Going into Atlanta, leading a group of those things around with the hope that everyone can escape? It's dangerous, and it likely won't work."

Alice would have replied if not for an echoing siren, growing steadily louder. "Is that a car alarm?"

She stood staring out into the woods. The ear-piercing sound made her ears hurt a little. It bounced about so that Alice couldn't tell which direction it was coming from.

"What is it?" Shane called up to them, "Give me an eye, Dale."

"Hard to tell." Dale replied, adjusting his grip on the binoculars. The noise grew closer. "Stolen car is my bet."

Alice could see it now, a red flash blurring through the trees down the winding road to the quarry. She'd sort of wished for it to be a kind of government alarm, no matter how much she knew it couldn't have been. The thing, a car, caused a spray of gravel and mud as it slid to a stop, alarm covering the sounds of everyone yelling. Alice watched Glenn jump from the car, watched him wave his arms and shout something that she couldn't hear because of the screaming alarm. She bolted for the ladder, rushing ahead of Dale to get down.

Amidst the noise of Shane, Jim and Amy yelling at him, the journalist threw herself on the boy, arms wrapping around his shoulders and yanking him close. "Oh my god, oh god Glenn, I thought you were dead."

She heard Amy behind her, begging Glenn to tell her where the others were, where Andrea was. Shane yelled over Amy's voice, "Pop the damn hood, Glenn!"

"They're fine, they're fine." He said, detaching himself from Alice to allow her to lean into the car and pop the hood. She watched Jim pull something out from under the bonnet, silencing the alarm, "I'm fine too. They're right behind me."

"What were you thinking, bringing that down here?" Shane was angry, his emotions likely exacerbated by the rough day he'd had. "You wanna bring every walker around here down on this camp?"

"The sound was echoing all over the hills, hard to pinpoint a source." Dale said, "I'm not saying it was any less of a stupid decision but it should be okay."

"Where is everyone?" Alice asked, not seeing or hearing any more vehicles. If Glenn was the only survivor then she could live with it, but Alice didn't want to. Morales, Andrea, T-Dog and Jacqui, they were good people. Even Merle. She was drawing the conclusion that Glenn had left them behind, despite his assurances that they were fine.

"Again, everyone's fine. They're on their way."

Alice pulled Glenn back into a hug, "I'm sorry I didn't come with you."

"It's okay. We met a new guy, he helped us get out of there."

"New guy?" Shane asked, but to Alice's relief, a box van had appeared down the winding road. It had to be holding the group. Alice turned, watching as the doors opened. Amy began to cry with joy as her sister pounced out of the back of the van, followed by Jacqui and T-Dog. They walked together, greeting everyone.

Morales climbed from the passenger door, blood splattered on his brown shirt and a grin on his face all the way over to his panicked family. There was a pureness in the sight of him getting back to his family.

"Where's Merle?" Alice asked, mentally counting the people who had left the van.

"He's still in Atlanta." Morales said. Alice frowned. Not dead, but still there. Had he abandoned the group? Alice couldn't imagine a man, even Merle Dixon, leaving his brother behind though. Daryl was still in those woods- so they thought. "We had to leave. Hey, Helicopter boy, come on out!"

She watched a figure emerge from the van, a flash of brown that Alice quickly realized was some sort of sheriff get-up. She wasn't sure that sheriffs were even a thing anymore. He looked a little ridiculous at first until the journalist realized that he really was some sort of sheriff. He had a gun holster and everything. This uniform wasn't stolen.

Alice might have laughed if it weren't for the way that the sheriff stopped and teared up.

"Dad! Dad!" She turned to see Carl running at the man, and put together what was happening. A smile stretched her face from ear to ear. This had to be Rick. It was only on account of their conversation about the man that caused Alice to cast her eyes to Shane as the family embraced, seeing the way he shifted back and forth on the spot. The journalist couldn't tell if he was happy, devastated or lost. Maybe he was all three. He seemed to be happy, but in the same breath, his eyes became downcast, lost.

Rick and Lori hugged, sandwiching Carl between them, and Alice smiled at the miracle. Lori's dead husband was here, alive.

The reunion between Rick, his family, and Shane went on for a good few minutes. Alice admittedly lost interest pretty quickly, and she soon joined looked at Morales and T-Dog, trying to understand what they were saying.

"Merle must be dead."

"He's handcuffed to the roof of the department store. I chained the door shut so the geeks couldn't get to him." T-Dog said.

"Why didn't you just uncuff him?" Alice interjected, but Morales placed a hand on her shoulder.

"The walkers were coming in after us and the key got lost." He said, "Merle was causing trouble, shooting rounds off the building and pointing a gun at us. We had to cuff him up."

"He's trapped on a roof, in Atlanta, at night?" Alice held the bridge of her nose, "He's probably freezing, and the sunstroke… Are you even planning to go get him? It isn't human."

"Merle Dixon? You wanna go to Atlanta at night to save Merle Dixon?" Morales said, but Alice shook her head at him.

"He's a person, and no person deserves to starve or dehydrate or whatever to death." she scowled. That scowl changed, though, when Glenn held out a pen.

"Was in the glovebox of the Challenger," he was still grinning at the mention of the fast car he'd gotten to drive, "You were talking about writing, so."

"Thanks, Glenn," Alice could have probably found a pen in Dale's RV, and still lacked paper, but the fact he'd thought to grab her a pen was nice. Alice had been entirely lonely during her time in Atlanta, spending most of her weekends alone unless her boss and friend Jonathan, or Delia, invited her out. It was nice to have someone think of her.

"No problem. I mean, I know it's not really a lot, but no one's really happy here, so..."

"Glenn, you think about other people too much," Alice slipped the pen into her pocket, "Putting your neck on the line constantly for runs, and just generally being a good person."

"People are worth saving, right? Most of them." Glenn turned his head towards Dale, saw his beckoning hand, and turned back to Alice, "Catch up later?"

"Yeah, go on, Glenn. I'll see you later." Alice said, giving Dale a small wave. She walked away, heading for the washing basket near Lori's tent. Checking that neither of them were around, she leaned in and grabbed the tan cargo pants from the top of the pile. They were still a little damp with the wet mud from the keys Alice had chucked into the puddle, but they were what she needed. Feeling at the pockets, she searched for the keys to the motorbike.

She jumped back as a voice behind her said, "I'm not dumb enough to leave the keys in those."

Alice dropped the pants, turning to Shane, "It isn't right to just leave him there. Give me the keys before it gets dark. You don't have any right to-"

"Right now there's no law, no nothin'. So what I say goes, and what I say is that you sit your ass down somewhere and forget about Merle." He snapped, stomping past her to go into the tent. Alice was about to walk away when she saw him collecting his things into a bag through the mesh tent window. Lori must have kicked him out of the tent, but he was still Rick's best friend. Why would Rick be bothered? Unless Lori had reasons to keep Shane away from her now... Alice felt her suspicions of the pair grow.

"You been kicked out?" she called, but he didn't reply, "You can share with me if you give me the keys. If you're right and I die then you can have the whole tent to yourself."

"Find yourself something else to do." He snapped, and Alice flinched back from the emotions in his voice. Nodding to herself, she turned and looked around. T-Dog had said his van was nearly out of fuel, and with the motorbike, Shane's jeep and the RV out of question, Alice could only think of one other vehicle to try.

"Hey, Carol, right?" she smiled, approaching the woman who stood beside their little yellow Cherokee, "I need a favor."

"I don't know…" she looked flustered, moving away from Alice, and the journalist noticed the bruise flowering down her arm from under her shirt. These weren't easy times, so it was easy for the girl to imagine it was simply a war wound and nothing else.

"Merle's chained to a roof. I want to go get him." She said, ignoring the lead pressing down on her chest at the idea of going back, "Can I borrow your car?"

"I wish I could." Carol spoke, low and mumbled, "Please let me get back to my work."

"Why not? It's a man's life-"

"Please, just go." Carol turned away, folding a shirt against her stomach.

The end of the day was coming quickly and Alice thought it was a bit much to still be working. An idea of why Carol was still folding up men's shirts came to her and a grimace settled on her features.

"It's alright." She smiled at the woman, spinning in search of the man she'd seen doing nothing but smoking and yelling since she'd arrived. He sat in a chair around where his own separate fire would soon be lit, his back to them, a cloud of smoke floating above him.

Alice's trainers sunk into the ground a little as she walked over, "Ed, can I please borrow your car?"

"Why the fuck would I let an uppity bitch like you touch my car?" he spat as he spoke, not even turning to face her. Alice walked around to his front, stretching out her hands in an attempt to stay calm.

"Rude. I'm not 'uppity', I'm just trying to help someone who's trapped."

He laughed, mocking, "You wanna take my car after Merle Dixon? Someone like you will end up dead and I'll lose my car. You best go on now, don't even think about talking to my wife again. She knows not to give you shit that's ours."

Alice looked over Ed's shoulder to Carol, who was hanging up the washing and recalled the bruise down her arm. She had no proof, none at all, and wasn't ever supposed to make an unsolicited judgment but well, Alice didn't like Ed one bit. "Is she your wife or your punching bag?"

"The hell did you just say?" Ed stood, knocking his chair over as he did, and squaring up against Alice. She took an uneasy step back, certain he wasn't opposed to hitting her.

"Men like you belong in the dirt, Ed." Alice would have spit at him if she hadn't grown up with the idea that it was wrong. Be the better person, all of that.

"You best shut your mouth you little-" Ed had raised his first, but in a quick second, a figure was pressed between the pair. Shane. Alice saw Rick hanging back just behind him.

"How 'bout we both calm down, yeah?" Shane said, turning his head for just a moment to give Alice a look of annoyance that said he knew what she'd been up to. Half the camp had probably heard the 'conversation' between her and Ed.

"This bitch-"

"You need to calm down, Ed." Shane interrupted, "We all help each other out in this camp, that's how it works. Ain't no reason to be so angry 'bout a request."

Alice looked at the two men, puffing out their chests and glaring, before taking a few steps back, "Shane, I need to speak to you."

He turned, looking at her, then looked back at Ed long enough to see that the man wasn't acting on his anger just yet. The cop followed her away from the others to the treeline, giving her a questioning look.

"Ed's beating Carol, he's got to be." Alice stood with her arms crossed, staring up at the man, "It's so disgusting. We can't let that happen."

"We can't do anything, you know that. I can't just beat him up. Someone, probably Dale, is gon' have a problem with that."

"And people don't have a problem with him beating his wife?" The journalist ran her hand over her eyes, "You're gonna leave Merle in Atlanta, you were leaving the whole group there, and you're gonna let a man beat his wife? How can you act like the leader here when you don't do anything?" She told herself that she didn't see the hurt in his eyes.

He got real close, bowing his head down low to speak, "I know what's best for this group. Do not question me." She felt his hot breath on her cheek.

"I think you forgot to wear your crown today, arsehole." She said, "Give me my keys."

"They aren't yours. You stole it."

"From a dead guy. Let me go for Merle. The walkers would have probably left following the van or Glenn out of the city, meaning all I have to do is walk in and bust open the door and the cuffs."

"What part of I know what's best do you not understand?"

"What part of stop being an arse don't you understand?"

Shane stared at her, one hand resting possessively over the pocket of his pants, before shaking his head. He was about to walk away when the sheriff appeared beside the two, looking concerned. Alice was ready to yell at him, too, should he side with his piece of shit friend.

"This about Merle?" he asked, having heard their heated discussion from more than a handful of steps away.

"Tell her how stupid going back is, Rick. C'mon, you've always been good telling pairs of tits what's what." There was so much anger on his face, Alice might have backed away if not for her own bubbling rage.

"You fucking serious?" Alice was tempted to slap Shane and probably would have if her life wasn't dependent on him getting water and shooting down any stray walkers. She wondered how literally anybody had ever tolerated Shane and his sexism?

"Shane." Rick's voice was stern as he spoke to his partner, "I dropped a bag of guns. Cleared out what was left in the station before I came down here. The dead took down my horse and I dropped the bag when I was running. It's not just about getting Merle."

"So if you give me the keys I can go get those now, Shane." Alice looked at the hat-less sheriff, "Don't tell me you agree with him. For Christ's sake, I'm twenty-five, not fifteen."

"You act like a kid," Shane said, which Alice didn't argue against. She was a little childish, but not when it mattered. Not now. They needed the guns, and Merle needed off of that roof.

"It's nearly dark. You really want to go into Atlanta?"

"There's a man handcuffed to a roof without anything warm to wear or anything to eat and drink. It isn't right."

"I'm done. You tell her, Rick." Shane turned, walking away. Alice knew better than to ask him about the keys again.

"Let me take the van you came back in." She said, "I'll go alone, won't risk anyone." Her heart dropped a little at that, at being alone, but she needed to help him.

"I haven't told Shane yet but I'm going back in the morning after I've seen my family again. If you want you can come, help me get Merle and the guns. Going now will just get you killed."

"I won't die-"

"Are you willin' to risk it just to prove yourself right?" the sheriff cocked his head to the side, then held out a hand, "I'm sure you've heard my name but we haven't been formally introduced. I'm Rick Grimes."

She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jeans, pursing her lips. "I am willing to go for him, but clearly you won't give me that van if you want to go yourself tomorrow. It's a shame that you aren't even half of what I'd expect a sheriff to be."

He looked down at his outstretched hand, awkward, and then back to her, "I'm just a sheriff's deputy."

The brunette shrugged at him and the discrepancy in titles, not feeling enough respect for the man to shake his hand, and he dropped it to his side with a questioning look, "Alice Lockwood." Sure, he was clearly a good man, but she was angry and Merle was still on that roof and no one had stopped Shane taking things away from her like she was a toddler.

The journalist walked away, hands still tucked into the pockets of her pants, and swore. Merle was loud and stupid, never mind a humongous druggie, but Alice wasn't sure he deserved to stay on that roof all night. She was just hoping that Merle would be okay.

* * *

By morning, Alice had gained a handful of hours of sleep. The interrupted sleep cycle left her brain groggy, her muscles aching for no apparent reason. Hating the dry throat currently bothering her, the brunette crawled her upper half out of the sleeping bag and pulled off her top, finding her new clothes. It took her a few seconds to pull them on, shaking against the cold outside of the sleeping bag, before she slid back into the bundle of fabric. Alice might have stayed there longer, let her heavy head pull her back to sleep, if not for the sharp mental reminder that Merle was still trapped in Atlanta and she was meant to be going.

The journalist once again drew herself from the sleeping bag, this time crawling the few foot to the door of the tent, pausing momentarily to slide on her trainers before unzipping the flap and awkwardly crouching as she emerged from the red nylon.

The camp was bathed in the mixture of shadow and sunlight of morning, spots of light that crept through the leaves spotting the ground and the tents. Despite the number of people about, milling around tents and campfires, the camp was surprisingly quiet. The faint sound of birds and tired voices drifted about on the still air. Alice's tent sat in a pool of shadow, leaving it chilly.

She found herself warming up as she left the shadows, the sunlight around Dale's RV and the cooking fires giving her warmth. The man himself stood in front of his RV holding a set of plates that he must have just gotten from inside. Picking up a quick jog, and feeling her head spin a little at it, Alice rushed over with her hands held out.

"Let me give you a hand, Dale."

"Morning, Alice. Thank you." He said, giving her a warm smile before holding out the plates. The pile was a dozen or so high of mismatched plastic and China. Alice took them, surprised at the weight that suddenly pulled her arms down, and held the stack with the plates resting against her chest for support. The edges of the plates, a mixture of thinly edges plastic and dull ceramic, dug into the skin of her forearms as they wrapped under the plates.

"Where are these going?" She asked, waiting as Dale stepped back into the RV.

Dale spoke as he came out, handfuls of cutlery in either hand, "Over to the big campfire. We're having the last of the powdered eggs today."

Alice could see Lori and T-Dog conferring around the fire, cooking in a big frying pan that to Alice seemed more industrial than homely. The grate holding the pan above the fire was a four-legged stand that looked awfully likely to pitch over on the slanted ground.

"Morning guys." Alice said, awkwardly balancing the plates, "Where do you want these, Lori?"

Lori gestured to a small camping table a few steps from the fire, and Alice nodded before lowering the plates onto it and moving back.

"I'm telling you I make the best scrambled-eggs this side of Georgia," T-Dog said, mixing the gloopy paste of egg and preserved milk in the pan.

"Didn't know that you cook." Alice said, smiling at the pair, "Lori, I'm sorry but I won't be able to help you with the washing today; I'm going to Atlanta."

"Again?" She questioned, "After yesterday-"

"There was always a risk." The foreigner shrugged, "It's fine. I know what I'm doing."

Alice ignored that she really didn't, raising a hand to say goodbye before moving over to sit beside Glenn. He was talking to Morales, and Alice eagerly joined the conversation.

"People tell me to go back where I came from and I'm just thinking, do they want me to go back to Michigan?" He turned to Alice as she joined them, "Did you ever get stuff from assholes 'cause you're English?"

"Some Americans think that every English person has had tea with the Queen but no, not really. Just the occasional idiot telling me that there wasn't a revolution for me to walk around America."

"Speaking of the Queen," Glenn glanced about and when he was assured that no one was listening he said, "What's with Lori now that Rick's back? She completely ignored Shane this mornin', and I think he was on watch all night."

"That isn't our business," Morales said, despite the curiosity in his eyes. "Whatever family troubles they have, that's up to them to sort out."

"Shane seems a little obsessed with the family. Honestly, he seems really conflicted about Rick being back." Alice muttered. Guilt spread in her gut as she thought of Shane on watch all night.

"Rick's a good man. Smart too. Saved our asses in Atlanta, even with his delusions about helicopters." Morales said, "Shane was his partner. Must just be shocked that the man's back from the dead."

Alice turned to look for the man in question, seeing Shane and Rick in a conversation next to the RV. Their heads were bowed towards each other, talking low. Alice didn't fail to notice the way Shane's hand was possessively clenched around his shotgun.

"You think? Dale won't say it, but he has mentioned how Lori and Shane used to disappear into the woods at the same time." Glenn said. There was a glee in his eyes that came only from knowing exclusive information. She looked back to Shane and Rick, wondering if she was right. She'd thought that Shane liked Lori, or vice versa, but it seemed more and more likely that they'd had an affair.

A shrill screaming tore out of the woods, causing the pair of officers to look to each other before bucking it into the trees after the sound. It sounded like the kids. The foreigner ran after them out of panic, despite the lack of weapons on her person. The sound of leaves crunching and branches snapping whirled around them, Alice following the officers before her without any sense of direction.

She heard the wet, chewing sound and the intermittent groans before she saw the thing. The putridness of old flesh and the metal of new blood filled the air, both coming from the walker and its meal. Alice winced at the sight of exposed tendons of the deer's neck.

"Is anyone hurt?" she asked, closing her eyes as Dale raised his axe. After the squelching removal of the walker's rotted head, Alice opened her eyes again and noticed the two orange-and-yellow tipped arrows sticking from the deer's hind.

"This is the first one we've had up here." Dale quickly said, his hands shaking as he worried, "They never come this far up the mountain."

"They're running out of food in the city, that's what." Jim curled his lip at the walker, a foreboding look in his eye that Alice didn't like one bit.

She stared down at the head, stepping away from it's uncovered teeth, "I can't imagine just one left on its own."

A rustle came from the trees, and Alice unconsciously moved towards Shane who held up his shotgun. Without a weapon, she awkwardly stood watching the woods. Glancing back down to the deer, she studied the arrows that had pierced it. Her eyes followed the arrows upwards, to the tree line, and watched as a figure materialized from the woods. A black crossbow was propped up by muscular arms, held by a man just a little taller than Alice.

"Son of a bitch, that's my deer." He yelled, hurrying around a rock. Alice watched as he moved around the deer and the walker. He had the look of a trapped animal, prowling around the deer. The foreigner didn't know who he was, but no one seemed particularly shocked by the man's appearance and she figured that he was the one she'd seen by Merle at their separate little camp. There was a familiarity about him that would make sense if he was the younger Dixon.

"Look at it, all gnawed on by this filthy, disease-bearin', motherless, poxy bastard." The hunter barked, kicking the walker. She knew that the walkers weren't human but she wondered if the remains of the people they were, once, were due respect. Scrunching up her nose at the distasteful show, she hoped to avoid the blood splattering from the walker's neck as the redneck kicked it.

"Calm down son, that's not helping," Dale said.

"What do you know about it, old man? Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to 'On Golden Pond'?" Alice wasn't sure what 'On Golden Pond' was, but she figured it was a joke about Dale's hat and RV. The man had a certain abrasive charm, but insulting Dale put her right off of him. Dale was a nice old man.

She watched as he sighed, giving the deer one last kick, "I tracked this deer for miles. Two damn days. Was gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison."

There was a crowd forming, staring at the one-man scene happening around the deer. He was loud, unpredictable. His abrasiveness made Alice curious, yet she was disgusted by his behavior. Kicking corpses, swearing before children, none of it was good. It wasn't even nice.

"What do you think? We cut 'round this chewed up bit right here, eat the rest?"

"I would not risk that," Shane said. Alice had forgotten the officer was stood beside her, shotgun still in his hands. "No one is eating anything infected while we still don't know how this works."

"That's a damn shame." The hunter's hand reached down, grabbing onto a rope around his side, and Alice saw a lot of creatures strung up, "I got some squirrel, about a dozen or so, that'll have to do."

A horrible groan drew Alice's attention from the hunter to the ground, to the decapitated head still by their feet. It was moving now, snarling and trying to snap its jaw. She jumped away from it, letting out an embarrassing squeak as it's face rolled towards her legs.

"What the hell people? It's gotta be the brain," he said, raising his crossbow and firing an arrow with a twang into the skull. It stopped the walker head's movements, the hunter putting his foot on the skull to pull out the arrow. "Don't y'all know nothing?"

Alice followed the man as he moved towards the camp, "Daryl, right?"

"What?" he snapped, pausing his movement to look at her.

"I'm Alice. I need to tell-"

"I know who y'are." He interrupted, turning and storming away before she could say another thing. Knowing he'd realize that Merle was gone on his own, Alice stood and wondered how he knew who she was. Wondered how he'd feel at the loss of his brother, considering how violent he'd become over the loss of a deer.

"He left the same day you went out with Glenn. Probably heard the whole camp talking about you." Dale said, standing back with her as the group moved back towards the camp. Alice could hear Daryl shouting his brother's name and didn't want to be a part of that conversation just yet, not when he'd already walked away from her once.

"You still agree with Shane that going for Merle yesterday was a stupid idea?"

"I think going at night would have been a bad idea. I'm not opposed to people returning today, though. My tools were left behind." Dale said.

"I'll get those for you if you lend me your bolt cutters." Alice bargained, taking small steps to keep pace with Dale.

"How do I know I won't lose those, too?"

"Glenn and I brought your tools back, didn't we?" Alice fiddled with the pieces of hair that'd escaped her messy bun, "We're reliable. Or, I am, I guess."

"Fine, but see if you can get me a rifle while you're out there. I don't like that there was a walker this close to camp." Dale said, "I'd feel a lot safer for myself and this camp if I could keep a rifle on watch."

"I'll keep an eye out."

* * *

Alice stood before Shane, looking up at him and squinting against the bright sun behind him, "It's daytime now, so give me the keys."

"If you're gonna go and die at least take the redneck with you before he gets half this group killed." Shane had a scowl across his face, deepened by the bags under his eyes. He really did look exhausted.

"Don't be a wanker." She said as he dropped the keys into her palm with a jingle of metal. Alice wrapped her fingers around them, feeling the jagged edges pressing in, "Thanks." She started walking away from him, not wanting him to change his mind.

"Wait, Shane, what did you mean by Daryl killing half the group?" she turned back. Daryl was brash, sure, but Alice thought that he wasn't really that bad. Was Shane suggesting that the man might attack the camp.

"Rick's taking Daryl, T-Dog, and Glenn into Atlanta to get Merle and a bag of guns."

"Without me? Are you serious?" Rick had mentioned it the night before, but she didn't think he was going after all since he'd apparently had Daryl in a choke hold.

"I don't agree with it."

"You don't agree with anything." Alice rolled her eyes before looking around and, spotting Rick and Daryl, moved over to them.

"You're going to need bolt cutters to get to Merle." She said, adjusting the bag hanging from her back. "Let me come with. You said you'd let me go with you yesterday, Rick." Alice realized that if they were going then she didn't need to go, not at all, but she wanted to. She'd hated sitting at the camp obsessively waiting for them to come back.

"The hell are you gonna do for my brother? This ain't a damn parade into the city." Daryl said.

"Alice had my back in Atlanta. She should come." Glenn leaned out the back of the box truck. A smile crossed the journalist's face at Glenn standing up for her.

"You got a weapon?" Rick asked without even looking at her, counting the bullets in his handgun.

Alice patted the hatchet tucked into her belt, "I'm good to go."

"Then let's go. We ain't got all day, people." Daryl shouted, his voice followed by the slamming of the driver's door. Alice took Glenn's outstretched hand, letting him help her up into the van. She sat beside him on the floor of the van. T-Dog pulled the shutters closed, casting the interior into shadow, before sitting opposite them.

"You okay?" she asked T-Dog who was fidgeting with the zip of his backpack.

"Just hoping that Merle gets why we had to leave him." The man replied.

A voice chimed in from the front as the engine started, "You people best hope so. My brother ain't gonna take this bullshit lightly."

* * *

 **AN: I just want to say that I'm SO sorry I haven't posted anything in awhile. There's been some personal stuff going on, but it's mostly all over now so I'm going to get chapters up more frequently. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and even read the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this (very late) chapter. If you did, please review, favourite and follow! 3 thank you so much for reading.**

 **P.S. Can we talk about Morales I mean damnn.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I own nothing at all to do with The Walking Dead. Nothing. If I did then I wouldn't be broke all the time.** Updated 29/09/18 for typos and inconsistencies. I mean I used their instead of there in the original, am I okay? I'm ashamed of myself.


	4. 4 - Just My Good Intentions

**Part One - Adjustments**

 **4 - Just My Good Intentions**

* * *

The store was in disarray. Racks of clothing were knocked over, a whole section of pastel shirts were coated in a blackish liquid that had to be walker blood, and red smeared the ground under the layers of shattered glass where the glass doors had once been. A draft came in now, a cold chill that crept up on them and made the clothes shift on their racks. The movement made Alice tense, wondering if a walker would emerge from behind the racks.

Glenn motioned up the stairs and Alice followed, covering the rear as they went up. She advanced backward, one hand on the railing and the other holding her hatchet. The stairs stunk of sour death.

Alice heard the chain break, the chain making a loud clang as it hit the floor. She followed them up, eyes squinting as she moved towards the light outside. As she stepped from the darkened stairwell onto the bright, hot roof, she didn't immediately notice anything. She saw Daryl, across the roof with Rick, making guttural noises of pain that he was stomping around to cover. Alice walked over the roof, footsteps scuffing along the stone until she was close enough to see.

A severed hand.

Her throat clenched up, her stomach trying to expel the little she'd eaten. Alice crouched, covering her mouth, and managed not to puke. A pool of dark blood spread out from under a pair of cuffs, hanging from a pipe. One cuff was caked in dry blood. A hacksaw was on the ground, just as red and bloodstained.

"He didn't think we were coming back," she said, watching as Daryl stalked around, making guttural noises that weren't words, just pain. Alice knew that he wasn't the kind of person to take a hug from her, no matter how much she wanted to hug him and stop anything ever hurting him. Daryl Dixon didn't seem the type to hug anybody.

Daryl was mad, and he ignored her comment, turning and pointing his crossbow at T-Dog. His whole body was tense, shaking, sad. Alice put a hand on her hatchet as Rick raised his own gun, pointing it at the redneck's head. Alice wasn't sure what she'd do with her hatchet if anything did happen, but she knew she couldn't just watch them shoot at each other.

"I will not hesitate. I don't care if every walker in the city hears it." The sheriff threatened. Alice watched Daryl wait for a long, long moment with his crossbow pointed at T-Dog. If he wanted to shoot the man, he would have done it already. The Dixon brothers were a lot of things, but Alice didn't think either of them would kill.

Rick still held the pistol to the hunter's head. "We do not kill the living." Daryl lowered his crossbow, standing still in Rick's line of fire.

Rick put his gun away, and Daryl rolled his shoulders in an attempt to brush off the incident, "You got a do-rag or something'?" he asked T-Dog, who handed over a blue rag.

Alice watched him picking up his brother's hand with a fascination before turning to the edge of the roof, peering over and pacing around the rooftop. Her eyes scanned the pavement below but didn't see what she was looking for.

"The hell are you doing'?" Daryl barked. The journalist turned to see him staring at her, "We gotta go."

"I don't see any splattered bodies, not even a puddle of blood." She said, turning back to them when she'd completed her quick circuit around the building, "So Merle didn't turn on here and fall, or jump, so he must be wandering around Atlanta." She paused before adding, "Alive or dead."

"My brother's tough as nails. He ain't dead." The hunter followed something on the ground, to the second set of stairs on the roof, and the journalist realized that it was drops of blood.

* * *

In the dark corridors, they found nothing more than a walker that Daryl quickly took down. Alice appreciated his crossbow, appreciated his ability to use it. She felt flimsy, like a handmade cardboard sign in the wind, just following them with a hatchet she'd never used.

Two walkers were dead on the ground in the next room, a wrench beside them.

"Had enough power to take out these two sumbitches." Daryl broke their silence, "One-handed. Toughest bastard I ever met, my brother."

"Any man can pass out from blood-loss, no matter how tough he is," Rick said, checking around the room for Daryl's brother.

"Then we find his unconscious arse, stop the bleeding and try and do a transfusion. What's his blood type, Daryl?"

"I dunno. He ain't in the hospital often, just jail, and he sure as hell wasn't gonna give blood even if he could."

"We can figure it out, right? Isn't there someone with medical training in the camp?"

"One of the other women used to be a doctor. I don't know her name, though. She usually sits with the other half of the camp." T-Dog said.

"It is so weird that the camp is like, split in two, if you ignore Carol's family and the Dixon's sitting out. I bet Shane knows her; he speaks to everyone when he's bossing them around."

"Stop with the damn small talk. Look." Daryl interrupted. Alice followed his arm, seeing the flaming stove. Rick advanced with the hunter, looking at the flames.

"What's that burnt stuff?" Glenn asked.

The sheriff took a moment before responding, "Skin. He cauterized the stump."

"Told ya he's tough. Nobody can kill Merle but Merle."

"Don't take that on faith; he's lost a lot of blood."

"If he didn't pass out here from the pain then I reckon he's pretty invincible." The journalist commented, "He willingly stuck his wrist into a burning fire, after all."

"This girl gets it," Dixon said, prowling along the length of the room to a window. One corner was smashed in.

"I have a name." She said but received no response from the hunter who had his head pressed up to the window. Maybe he didn't know it, or he didn't care for enough to use it.

"There's a fire escape. I think he got out here."

"He left the building?" Glenn stared at the shattered window, not knowing why someone would go onto the street with one hand and no backup.

"Why wouldn't he? Far as he knows, he's alone." The hunter said, scowling to himself.

"I guess we're going on a Merle scavenger hunt, then." Alice said.

"The hell are his odds out there?" T-Dog asked.

"No worse than being handcuffed and left to rot by you damn bastards." Daryl said, "I'mma go get him."

"We can help you, Daryl. He can't get far with that injury. We'll check a few blocks around, look for him."

Rick was leaning close to the hunter, causing the redneck to twitch as he stood still. "I can do that."

"Only if we get those guns first." T-Dog said, "I'm not strolling the streets of Atlanta with just my good intentions, okay?"

* * *

"Glenn, this is such a stupid idea." Alice said, spinning around in the office chair, "I mean, you've seen how they surround people."

"Even I think it's a bad idea and I don't even like you that much." Daryl said, pacing back and forth. Alice stopped the chair spinning to shove a pad of paper and some pens into her backpack. She might need it later.

"It's a good idea." Glenn said, "Just hear me out, okay?" Rick crouched beside Glenn who continued explaining, "If we go out there as a group we're slow, drawing attention."

Alice rolled her chair along the floor to the group so that she could see Glenn's tape map.

"If I'm alone, I can move fast. Look," he dropped bits onto the map, "Here's the tank and that's the bag of guns. Here's the alley I dragged you into where we first met," he looked up at Rick,"Daryl and I will go here."

"Why me?"

"Your crossbow is quieter than his gun." He said, an awkward moment of silence between the hunter and Glenn, "Daryl can wait here while I run and get the bag of guns."

"You'd have us elsewhere?" Rick asked.

"I may not be able to come back the same way. If walkers cut me off, I have you guys two blocks this way. That way I won't go back to Daryl, I'll go forward instead, to you."

"Where do I fit in this?" Alice leaned back in her chair.

"You back Daryl up. That way he isn't alone if I go back to Rick and T-Dog."

"No matter which way I go, I've got you guys to cover me."

"Hey kid, what'd you do before all this?" the redneck asked.

"Delivered pizzas."

* * *

They advanced through the alleyway, footsteps tapping on the ground. The hunter before her stepped with a silence gained from years of practice, hunching low around his crossbow. She made sure to stay behind him, watching as Glenn ran ahead.

"Ya got balls for a Chinaman." Daryl said, chuckling to himself.

"I'm Korean."

"Whatever."

Alice hissed, putting a finger to her lips, "Can you shut up, please?"

Glenn gave her a nod before disappearing out into the street. The brunette watched as the once complacent walkers awakened from their stupor, raising their arms and growling, a shambling run as they followed the figure moving amongst them. Alice dropped to the ground beside Daryl, tucking herself between him and the wall.

"Ya think he's gonna make it?"

"Of course he will." Alice swallowed, grasping the worry that he wouldn't and shoving it down, deep down, and keeping her eyes on the walkers at the entrance of the alley. She saw Daryl raise a hand, tense down, and lean around the container. Her clammy fingers shifted around the hatchet handle. She could hear it now, shuffling moving behind them.

Daryl slid away, moving out, and she heard a shout.

"Whoa, don't shoot me!"

"I'm looking for my brother."

Alice stood, moving around the dumpster. Daryl had his crossbow pointed at some kid, prowling closer with every step, "He's hurt real bad. You seen 'im?"

The kid started screaming something intelligible and Alice turned to see the walkers out on the street coming towards them, attracted to the noise

"You need to shut up or we're going to become a three-course meal." The journalist said, moving towards the pair, "We aren't going to hurt you, shut up."

"Answer me, damnit, you're gonna bring the geeks down on us." Daryl growled, "You seen my brother?"

The boy kept screaming, standing completely still. Alice realized that if he wasn't running, he was waiting for someone. Daryl knocked the boy to the ground and covered his mouth.

"Daryl, hold up, we need to go."

Two men burst through the gate, shoving past two walkers. Alice felt a kick to her stomach throw her back, arms clinging to the dumpster. Her hatchet had fallen somewhere. Her head spun, dizzy, but Alice managed to stay on her knees, reaching and grabbing the hatchet. The sour smell of garbage and death followed her as she stood.

They were kicking Daryl, one hitting him with a baseball bat. Shit.

"Get off of him," she screamed, throwing the hatchet. It hit the one with the baseball bat, sliding down his arm and cutting it. He turned, and shouted, pointing.

"That's it, that's the bag, vato." They left Daryl's side and ran past. Alice turned to see Glenn with the bag of guns, saw him drop it on the ground and panic on the spot.

An arrow hit one of the men in the arse. The journalist dove for the bag of guns, yanking it close to her. The weight was more than she expected and she could barely lift it. The one with the baseball bat had the bat wrapped around Glenn, backing away with him as cover. Alice saw them holding the man in the direction of Daryl's crossbow. She dropped the bag. Lunged for Glenn, but they yanked the gate as they moved, backing into the street, and into a car that Alice hadn't noticed arrive. A squeal of tires later, they were gone, leaving Alice crouched, breathing heavily.

"Shit, shit, shit. They got Glenn." She said, standing. She saw T-Dog and Rick running from the other end of the alleyway, a little too late. Alice pulled at the gate, closing it. The papery finger of one of the dead brushed against hers and she flinched back, yelling.

"What happened?"

"Some assholes took Glenn." Daryl growled, advancing onto the boy from earlier. He was backed up against the wall, trapped by the hunter, "This little bastard and his little bastard homie friends."

"We have to go." Alice grabbed the bag of guns, holding it out by the strap to Rick.

"I'm gonna stop your ass!" Daryl screeched at the boy, pressing the crossbow against his chest.

"Daryl." Rick said, putting a hand on the redneck's arm, "We've got to go. Bring him with us."

* * *

"Those men you were with, we need to know where they went."

"I ain't telling you nothing."

"We need our man back. We can trade, you for him." Alice sat beside him on a chair, ignoring the others, "All you have to do is tell us where they went."

"How do I know you ain't one of those bullshit groups, the ones that patrol around and shoot up everything?"

"Any of those groups ever have a woman?" Alice ran a finger along the edge of her hatchet, surprised that it had stayed blood free, "Not one that wasn't tied up and half naked."

"I don't trust you, I ain't saying nothing."

"Jesus, what the hell happened back there?" T-Dog asked, leaning onto the desk with his head rested on his hands.

"Told you, this kid and his friends jumped us, took Glenn." Daryl said. He paced back around.

"You jumped me, put. Screaming about his brother like it's my damn fault."

"You took Glenn," Daryl raised his crossbow for a moment, "'coulda taken Merle too."

"Merle?" the kid laughed, "What kinda hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle."

The redneck moved towards the kid, snarling, but Rick stopped him.

"Daryl, back off."

"That's rude." Alice said, shifting on her chair, "What's your name?"

"Miguel."

"I'm Alice." She said, "Look, I just want my friend back. So long as your people haven't hurt him, I don't think we'll have a problem."

"Your hick friend is a problem."

Alice turned to Daryl, watching him growl, and winked towards the hunter and the sheriff.

"I'm sure I can keep them in line. My ex girlfriend, she was killed by looters," the journalist gave him a sweet smile, "If your group aren't bandits, we're already allied through the hatred of looters."

The boy shrugged into his chair. Alice turned, seeing Daryl unwrapping something, "You wanna see what happened to the last guy who pissed me off?"

He threw an object over Alice, landing on Miguel's lap, and Alice realised that it was Merle's hand. She leaned back into her char as the boy jumped, cowering in the corner.

"Maybe I'll start with the feet next,-" Daryl was on top of Miguel, but Rick shoved him aside to speak to him quietly. When he was done, the boy nodded, shaking.

Alice stood, brushing her hands on her pants,"That was messed up in so many ways."

When they were done planning, Alice pulled Rick aside. He stood with her away from the others, leaning in to listen to her, "I don't know how to shoot."

"You don't know anything?"

"No." Alice chewed at her nail, "No gun culture back in England."

"Alright, I want you on the roof with T-Dog. You hold a gun, T-Dog can show you how to load it and turn the safety off." He put his hat on, "This goes as planned, you won't need to shoot."

She nodded, and the pair weaved back through and over to the others. Rick pulled out a rifle for her, passing her it and a box of rounds. Daryl scoffed at the sight of her awkwardly holding the rifle, her arm lowering under the weight. Alice knew it was obvious she had no idea what to do with it. She just hoped those vatos wouldn't figure it out.

"Let's go."

* * *

She leaned over the rooftop with T-Dog, clutching at the rifle with her finger hovering over the trigger and her eye pressed up against the scope. Alice didn't want to kill anybody, but she wasn't sure she had a choice. They spoke below them, with faces that looked angrier than they did calm and compromising. She just told herself that she'd miss, of course she'd miss, she only had one shot anyway and Alice didn't think she could do all of the steps T-Dog had taught her to reload it.

Alice was fairly sure that this was going to go badly.

"Man, please just make the deal."

The brunette cast her eyes over to the man for a moment before leaning back into the scope, "It's okay."

"This is bullshit. Are we seriously holding people at gunpoint?" he asked.

"It's easier to pretend that they're never sorting this out. Makes it seem more, you know, justifiable. Survival and all that."

"It is all over, at least for a good long while. Jacqui called it a speedbump." Alice heard his rifle scrape on the ledge as he adjusted himself, "I just don't wanna kill nobody."

Alice watched as Glenn was dragged onto the roof, aiming at the men holding him. He had duct-tape over his mouth, his arms held yanked behind his back. If Alice shot at them, they could drop him. There was no way, if it didn't kill him, that they could help Glenn from a fall like that. They didn't even have any aspirin left at camp.

She lowered her aim back to the men before Rick. She had to trust that T-Dog had loaded the rifle correctly so that it would shoot. The brit knew that she needed to learn how to operate a gun if she wanted to survive until the military came,

The men dragged Glenn away and Alice watched, disbelieving, as the Vatos closed the doors, the men up top taking Glenn away. Rick didn't walk away until the vatos had closed their doors, everything over in a few moments. They still had Miguel, not Glenn.

"The hell?"

* * *

"Them guns worth more than gold." Daryl paced back and forth, crossbow hanging from his calloused hands. Alice rifled through the filing cabinets, cold metal and paper beneath her fingers. It was all documents; things no one really cared about anymore.

"They'll protect your family, put food on the table, you willing to give them up for some kid?" Alice turned back to look at Daryl as he spoke, the light coming in through the blinds to light up one side of him. He sounded different, less aggressive.

"Glenn wasn't even bruised." Alice said, "They aren't going to hurt him."

"Not yet, but they will."

"Assuming that they will doesn't justify going in there with guns blazing."

"If I knew we were going to get Glenn back then I might agree, but you really think that Vato across the way is just gonna hand them over?"

Miguel spoke up, barking like a little dog from where he sat on the floor, "You calling G a liar?"

The hunter lunged towards him, shouting, "You a part of this? You want to hold onto your teeth?" Daryl moved away from him, looking back to Rick,"Question is, do you trust that man's word? No, question is what are you willing to bet on it? Could be more than them guns. Could be your life."

"What life I have I owe to him. I was nobody to Glenn, just some idiot stuck in a tank. He could have walked away, but he didn't." Rick zipped up the bag, "Neither will I. You three should head back to camp."

"He saved me too, Rick." Alice said, "I was threatening to hit him with a baseball bat. He coulda bolted, or taken the little I had, but he didn't. Doubt I would have lasted another day alone in this city. I'm coming, whatever I can do."

"So you're gonna hand the guns over?" T-Dog asked, sighing to himself. He rested his face against his hand, shaking it.

"I didn't say that."

Alice tried to evoke three years of drama lessons as she held the gun, pointing it at the man stood before them. It was a little pistol, but it was heavy, and terrifying, and it could kill something. She really hoped that she looked like Lara Croft, or Kate Beckinsale in Underworld, but Alice knew she probably looked more like an idiot with a gun.

"I see my guns, but they're not all in the bag." The man at the front, Guillermo, said. Two men stood on either side of him with their guns up, over a dozen other men circling them in the building.

"That's because they're not yours. I thought I mentioned that." Alice's heart thudded at Rick's defiance, but she'd said she was going to do this and it was too late to back out now. She'd have to learn to be useful, at least until they reestablished enough society that she could just write articles and short stories and complain about not having a standing desk.

Alice adjusted her grip as the two men beside him egged Guillermo on to give the order, to shoot them all down. She wouldn't die like this, it wouldn't happen, they'd figure it out. The journalist figured that unrealistic hope was better than dropping her weapon then and there.

"I don't think you fully appreciate the gravity of the situation," Guillermo smiled, but Alice realised that he looked scared too, his eyes apprehensive. He didn't want to get his men killed.

"No, I'm pretty clear. You have your man, I want mine." Rick demanded. Alice winced, taking long breaths to fight the tightness constricting her chest. She spared a moment to scowl at Miguel, hiding behind the ranks of men, the place where he'd run the moment Rick let him go.

"I'm gonna chop up your boy, I'm gonna feed him to my dogs," Guillermo bounced on his heels as he said it, "They're the evilest, nastiest man-eating bitches you ever saw. I picked them up from Satan at a yard sale-"

"You're really lathering this on, mate." Alice interrupted, stalling when all eyes landed on her, listening. She'd forgotten, for a second, that the noise would draw everyone's attention to her, "I'm just saying."

'I told you how it has to be. You gonna help me feed my hellhounds tonight or give me my guns?"

Alice rolled her eyes. She was worried about Glenn shooting them, not being fed to dogs.

"You said come locked and loaded." Rick said, raising his gun back up. Alice screamed in her head, shut up shut up, but she clearly wasn't a telepath, "Okay then, we're here."

The echoing click of guns being loaded and safeties being turned off moved around the room, the weapons raising to point at the group of them. Alice shrunk herself down in her mind, slowly turning about with her pistol pointed forwards. She didn't even know how to reload the thing.

"Felipe! Felipe!" Alice stopped her awkward turn back and forth long enough to see the old woman advancing through the weapons.

"Get that old lady out of the line of fire!"

"Daryl, shouldn't you be questioning why there's an old lady in a bandit group instead?" she muttered, a little strength to speak.

Alice lowered the pistol, not knowing how to turn the safety off, as the bald guy Daryl had shot in the arse, 'Felipe', tried to reason with his grandmother,"Abuela, listen-"

"Mr Gilbert is having trouble breathing. He needs his asthma stuff. He needs his medicine." The journalist questioned how many other people they had back there, and if they were all old or just ill.

"Felipe, go take care of it, okay?" Guillermo ordered him, and the man attempted to pull his grandmother away. The woman had another plans, her surprisingly intelligent eyes scanning Rick.

"Don't you take him," she said, advancing up to Rick, "Felipe's a good boy. He have his trouble bur he pull himself together."

"Ma'am, I'm not here to arrest your grandson,"

Alice snorted, an unstoppable smile stretching out her mouth. Rick turned, tilting his head at her and staring, and Alice covered her mouth before mumbling, "Sorry."

"What do you want my Felipe for?"

"He's helping us find a missing person, fella named Glenn."

"The Asian boy? He's with Mr Gilbert."

The woman took Rick's hand, leading him along, and Alice heard Guillermo order the men to let them pass. She walked through last, making sure to pat Felipe's shoulder as she went by, "This is why you always respect your elders."

Inside, and through a courtyard, the woman led them. Alice was sort of worried, for a moment, that the lady was just an elaborate plan to trick them into a killing room. When they came through the door, Alice knew that she was wrong. The walls were a shade somewhere between baby blue and grey, a soft background for the old people sat around. Alice could see Glenn, leaned over beside a heaving man.

It smelt of sterilization, like a hospital.

"Glenn?"

"Oh, hey guys." He turned away from the man, smiling at them as Felipe attended to the man.

"We thought you were being eaten by dogs, man." T-Dog clapped the Asian on the shoulder, "What is this?"

Alice watched as Rick pulled Guillermo aside, suddenly stood alone as the others moved into their own conversations. Daryl was fidgeting with the strap of his crossbow, just as alone.

"Hi." Alice said, holding her pistol out, "I don't know how to work this, and we're in a nursing home. Could you?"

The hunter made a noise, taking the gun from her outstretched hand without touching her, "Ya shouldn't ever point it around like that, gonna get someone killed."

"Sorry." He didn't reply, moving his hands over the weapon before tucking it into his waistband. Alice got the feeling that the man didn't want to talk and moved away, standing awkwardly on the edge of Glenn and T-Dog's conversation. She'd missed her phone for lot in the last two months; quick communication, youtube, music. She missed it now because there was nothing to occupy her hands, to make her look busy.

The old people looked happy like the world hadn't really ended. She supposed that it never really had for them. They'd been living in here Before, just the same. Now the thing keeping them in wasn't their age, or their family. It was the living dead.

* * *

"I'm not walking."

"Alice, we haven't got any choice. Merle took-" T-Dog said, but Alice interrupted him.

"There's a whole city of abandoned vehicles here. You're telling me that we won't find one with a key?" She was tired, and sore, and everything about the day had been a complete mess. Alice was sick of this whole 'end of the world' crap.

Rick sighed, making his annoyance known. It was still the daytime, the last of the head pressing on them. There was no shade to protect them from the sun's heat. Though England had always occasionally had a good couple of days during the summertime, the majority of the days were at least half cloud cover and Alice hadn't ever quite gotten used to the heat of Georgia in the summer. More than anything, Alice just wanted a shower.

"There were too many walkers back there."

"I am literally frying to a crisp here. There weren't that many walkers." Alice wouldn't have been complaining half of much if not for the whole city of cars they could use, "I'm sure we could get a car."

The sheriff rolled his eyes, then leaned forward and dropped his hat into his hand. He extended his hand out to her, shaking his head, "Don't get sunstroke."

"You serious?"

"You complained about the sun."

"Fine." The journalist took the hat from him, adjusting her low ponytail before putting the hatono her head. The small bit of shade around her face was relaxing, relieving her of the heat. "Don't you need this, since you just woke up from a coma and everything?"

"I was born and raised in Georgia; I can handle it."

* * *

An hour, maybe two, had passed. Actually, Alice didn't have a clue, but the sun had dipped low in the sky and she felt like she'd been dragging her feet along for days. Her knees were numb, and the balls of her feet throbbed with every step. She groaned, feeling the numb pain that coated her feet. She was getting blisters on her heels, making everything hurt that much more, "I can't even brag about how many steps I've done to my health freak coworkers."

"You need a proper pair of boots," Daryl said, "Those sneakers ain't no good."

He yanked at the strap over his shoulder, acting like the walk didn't bother him at all. It probably wasn't too bad for him, Alice thought, if he'd spent two days away from camp in the woods with nothing but a little bag.

"And to think, this all would have been avoided if Alice and Shane could have agreed." T-Dog said, causing her to turn over to him. She didn't want to talk about the humiliation of having to give Shane the keys.

"Well, we didn't."

"It's true. If you'd come and got Merle yesterday then it would have saved us a whole load of trouble today," T-Dog said, "Shane's an asshole sometimes. No offense, Rick."

"None taken."

"The hell are y'all talkin' 'bout? You sayin' that you were gonna come get my brother yesterday but you didn't?" His eyes were narrowed, and he'd suddenly stopped on the road.

"Alice wanted to come roam around Atlanta on that motorcycle for Merle but Shane was being the bossman again."

"He took the keys to my bike."

"Ya was gonna go to Atlanta alone for my brother?"

"He's still a person, deserves saving and all that." Alice rambled under Daryl's gaze. He gave her a deep nod before turning, walking on as though nothing had happened. The journalist moved with him, ahead of the others, trusting his sense of direction.

He lowered his voice so that the others couldn't hear, using the most hospitable tone that she'd heard from either of the Dixon brothers, "Ain't ya fault that ya couldn't go. It's that asshole, Shane, he ain't got no right in pretending he's the damn king."

Alice tried not to think too hard about him knowing how she felt so easily.

"Still, I wish I could have done something." She fell back with the hunter, walking a few paces behind everyone else, "Who knows where Merle is now."

"Back at camp, I bet, raising hell. If he ain't, he's out there surviving' somewhere."

"I hope so."

"He is." The hunter took that opportunity to move faster, outpacing the tired brit, and she tried her best not to feel offended. She wasn't that bad to talk to, surely.

Her brooding thoughts were interrupted when Rick spoke, "Hold up."

Her legs shook a little under her as she stopped and stood still beside the sheriff. He raised his hand, listening, and Alice knew to be quiet. It took a moment for her to hear it, listening past the sound of her own heaved breathing.

Screaming.

* * *

 **A/N : Just letting people know that I went back and edited Chapters 2 and 3 a little. The only significant change was changing Alice's Ex's name from Renee to Delia. The rest of the changes are just some typos and mistakes I corrected, so I'm just letting everyone know that it's Delia (because I have a horrible tendency to suddenly find a more appropriate character name).**

 **Thank you so much to anybody who's read this far and I really appreciate it. Lots of love for you all! In the next chapter they deal with the attack and head to the CDC so keep an eye out for that.**

 **By the way, if you haven't, you should totally check out Emily Kinney (Formerly Beth)'s Mermaid Song. She released it a couple of weeks back and I'm in love with it.**


	5. 5 - When This Is All Over

**Part One - Adjustments**

 **5 - When This Is All Over**

* * *

They were all dying. The dead had come, and no amount of bullets could repair the chunks of flesh missing from arms and necks. The woman almost didn't run into the fray. She might not have, if not for the way the dead were advancing onto the people Alice had begun to care for. Her feet moved, eyes flying around for any dead coming up to her.

The screams and gunshots were deafening. Alice could see Sophia, somehow alone, and ran for the walker that was stalking the girl. She raised the hatchet, bringing it down with both hands and a shout onto the walker's head. It impacted with a crunch, squelching into the brain. The corpse sagged, dragging her down with it as the hatchet stayed sunk in its skull. She put a foot on its head, like the hunter had done, and pulled at the hatchet. Blood sprayed her as it came out.

Sophia's hands wrapped around her elbow as the pair backed up, a trio of walkers marching towards them.

Alice knew that saving Sophia was all she could do. The camp were fighting their own battles. Sophia was behind her, crying, but Alice couldn't do anything about that right then. The three dead stood around them, a couple of feet away, and she didn't know how to take them all down. The hatchet could get stuck again.

With the axe in both hands, she moved forward, raising the weapon up and bringing it down into the closest walker's head. The second walker grabbed her arms as she swung the axe. The skin, dry and dead and yet still so human, dragged along her skin, all palms and no fingernails. Alice yanked back her arm and moved, taking the hatchet with her, before the walker could clamp with a deadly grip.

There was a walker in front of her. Alice's brain told her to run

She swung again. The weapon hit the walker around the side of its skull, cracking the rotting bone. The walker fell before Alice could get the hatchet out.

"Sophia!" Carol was screaming and Alice spared a glance to see the third walker going for the little girl. She didn't think about it. She moved, throwing herself onto the walker. It went down beside her. The floor sent a grinding pain through her shoulder. The walker rolled with her when they hit the ground. It was on top of her but away from Sophia.

When had being in a brawl with a walker become a good thing?

Alice pressed her hands against the walker's shoulders, pushing at the torn suit. Her arms were quivering from the exertion. The walker's fingernails plucked at her shirt. The jaw snapped at her, showering her with its rotten breath.

She'd die here.

Alice screamed because maybe someone would see what was happening. It didn't matter that everyone else was screaming. Maybe someone would notice. She couldn't die here, under the walker of some guy in a suit who probably cheated on his wife and said he was working late. The walkers had an unrelenting strength, and Alice's arms started to give way as the dead man kept pushing down, trying to get its teeth closer to her.

Then the walker was gone, hands pulling for the last moment at her shirt before the walker was on the ground. Shane released it, aimed his shotgun downwards, and fireditso it's skull. Alice stood, muttered a thanks, and retrieved her hatchet once she saw Sophia wrapped in Carol's arms. The dead walker's blood and brains coated her hatchet, having leaked from the crack in its skull, and Alice grimaced as she wiped it clean on the grass.

It was all over by then. The guns had stopped firing. Alice looked at the camp and realised that she couldn't tell the difference between the dozens of walker bodies and the dozens of human bodies.

* * *

The journalist sat beside Lori and Carol, the morning sun blinding her tired eyes, and wondered if her insistence to go back to Atlanta had saved her life. Alice supposed she had Merle Dixon's great escape to thank for her not being at camp when the dead came. It felt wrong to be grateful for that when so many around them were dead. She didn't even know their names. It felt wrong because if they'd been there, the guns would have been there, and maybe no one would have died.

The sheriff came over, his shirt blood-splattered and dirty, "She won't move?" He was referring to Andrea, still in the same position over Amy's body. The journalist was ready to cry but it felt selfish. She hadn't lost her sister, her husband, her friends. All she'd lost was a few strangers who'd taken her in.

"She won't even talk to us." Lori replied, "She's been there all night."

Alice shifted in the canvas chair, feeling bad that she wasn't helping them clear the bodies. She could see Glenn and T-Dog carrying one of the walkers' corpses, ready to toss it into the fire, and the work Shane had made for her, cleaning up the dead people's tents, had been done a long time ago.

"Can't just leave Amy like that." Shane said, and Alice paid attention to him for the first time that morning. He was coated in blood and sweat and running on little sleep, if any. Alice knew he'd been up on the RV for most of the night, keeping watch. His head nodded as he spoke, "We need to deal with it. Same as the others."

"It isn't our place." Alice said, her elbows rested on her knees and her face propped up on her hands. Her body still shook, so much that Alice was consciously trying to stop the way her limbs jittered, "One walker isn't a danger to anybody but Andrea. Let her grieve."

"We don't need to lose anybody else today." The officer said, and the sheriff nodded with him. Alice knew that he was right. She wasn't sure anybody could deal with Amy biting her own sister.

"I'll tell her how it is." Rick started walking over to the blonde at the same time Alice stood, making her way to Glenn.

He was stood beside the burning fire, chugging water, and Alice grimaced as she said, "Can I help?" She should have been doing this hours ago, not packing up tents and dead people's belongings.

"You'll need a pair of gloves. Ain't nobody handling these geeks with their bare hands." T-Dog said, having overheard her as he walked back over to Glenn, "They're in the RV."

Alice scrunched her nose up at the smell that came with the burning fire, ashy and sour. "Alright, let's do this."

* * *

"Woah hey, what are you guys doing?" Alice turned to see Glenn walking towards Daryl and Morales. The two were dragging a body along towards the fire and the journalist realised that it was human. She

"Our people go over there." Glenn kept speaking to the two who didn't stop dragging the body.

"What's the difference? They're all infected." Daryl muttered.

"Our people go in that row over there." Glenn said, raising his voice until it cracked as he continued, "We don't burn them! We bury them. Understand? Our people go in that row over there."

Alice put a hand on Glenn's back, his eyes frantic, and let herself smile as Morales and Daryl moved the body back the way they'd come, towards the row where the people went.

"It'll be okay." She said.

"Look around us. Where are we gonna go now?" his voice was strained, "They still deserve respect, they're our people. We don't burn them."

"We'll figure it out. We can do this." Alice wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug.

Alice had been relieving herself in a bush with Lori and had returned to find that Jim was bitten. She tried not to watch the man as he sat by the RV, waiting for a death sentence.

"I saw we put a pickaxe in his head, and the dead girl's, and be done with it."

"Her name was Amy," Alice said to the hunter, watching his eyes narrow in her direction as she spoke.

"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Rick asked Daryl.

"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it." The hunter remarked. Alice knew he wasn't a sentimental man, other than his strange collection of Merle's hand, and she hadn't expected any more from him than for him to want all the walkers and soon to be walkers dead.

"I hate to say it, I never thought I would, but maybe Daryl's right." Dale said, but the sheriff jumped in before he could continue.

"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog." Rick said.

"I'm not suggesting-"

"He's sick. A sick man. What if we can get him help? I heard the CDC was working on a cure."

Shane shook his head, "I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell."

"You're right." The journalist said, "They sent us a brief, to publish, saying that they had a test subject and were working on it after we'd already shut down our office. After almost everything had shut down, actually. I stayed late with my boss, that's the only reason I saw it."

"You think it's still up and running?" Rick look to her for guidance. The brunette was realising that he valued her opinion at least a little. Maybe she wasn't so useless right now. Maybe she'd make it until the government or the army came and cleared this whole mess up.

"All I know is that we got a lot of reports from them before the power shut down. I remember that they were contacting the rest of the world, the WHO and that, for advice. If they were contacting the rest of the world then they would have had help from even more experts. They're working on the cure. Maybe they even have it."

"What do you suppose the cure will even be, Rick? A magic potion to change the dead back is a pipe dream. Look at some of them, torn in half. You think some doctor is gonna make that better?" Shane growled, still advocating for his own plan, "We need shelter, protection. If those things exist, they're at the army base. Fort Benning."

"That's 100 miles in the opposite direction." Rick said.

"That is right, but it's away from the hot zone. If that place is operational, it'll be heavily armed. We'd be safe there."

"The military was on the front lines of this thing. They got overrun. We've all seen that."

Alice was getting sick of the testosterone fest by the time she spoke up, "Say Fort Benning is operational, we don't know that they won't shoot us down on suspicion of infection. I've seen that. They stormed hospitals and shot down anyone inside whether or not they were bitten. I got sent footage of the military clearing out a damn children's ward. Why would now, us, be any different?"

Alice wouldn't ever forget standing in her boss' office, stopping their conversation to open the new submission, and seeing the slaughter. Morbid fascination had been the only reason they kept watching. A need to know that it was real, to see what was happening.

"The same might be waiting at the CDC." Shane said.

Rick adjusted his stance, "The CDC might save Jim."

"She's right. The CDC is Jim's only chance." Rick agreed, saying it like the decision was final. Rick really was the new leader. Alice ignored the way Shane huffed and stomped away, kicking up dirt with his forceful steps.

"You go looking for Aspirin, do what you need to do," Daryl said, slowly backing up, and Alice realised where he was heading with the pickaxe. "Someone needs to have some balls to take care of - this damn problem!"

"Put it down, Daryl." She shouted, but Rick beat her to the man. He had a gun to the redneck's head in seconds flat.

"We don't kill the living."

"That's real funny comin' from a man with a gun to my head."

Alice couldn't help but grin as Daryl dropped the pickaxe and Rick lowered his gun, far too amused by the hunter's remark to remember just why Rick had ever had a gun to his head. Maybe she was forgetting how serious having a gun pointed at you was.

* * *

The near-darkness was unsettling. Alice sat close to Glenn, a silence over the camp as they ate the last of their food. Alice remembered the funeral every time she looked at Andrea. Remembered the way the woman had lowered her sister's wrapped body into that hole, crying that she could do it, and tried not to cry. It was heartbreaking.

One day, they could write down the names of everyone that they'd lost and memorialise them for the future. The world needed to know what had happened when they fixed it. Alice was still set on that. To her, there was no possible way that the world would be like this forever. Humanity didn't just go extinct.

"Look, I've been thinkin' about Rick's plan." Shane drew their attention to him, "There are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that, but I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts." He let out a deep breath, "I say that the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning."

"Anywhere is better than here right about now." Alice said because she was scared of walkers coming up to her tent or someone else's. She wasn't sure she'd get any sleep that night. "I'm not gonna sleep a wink tonight."

Shane gestured away with his head, standing up, "I gotta talk to you."

The journalist followed him away from the others and onto the path down to the quarry, the pair slowly advancing down the dirt track towards the water. It looked beautiful from up there, blue and peaceful and a world away from the chaos in the city. Even the buildings backdropped behind the woods looked peaceful, untouched, like you if you got close you'd find normal city life.

"I know you were mad 'bout me taking those keys but you got to understand why."

"I do. I'm not a kid and it was bullshit, but I do. Besides, you saved my life last night."

"You really believe Rick's call is the right call to make?"

"I'm not sure that either of them are a good idea." Alice looked at the ground as she walked, not wanting the officer to see that she had more faith in Rick's plan than his.

"Fort Benning is a good plan. There's shelter, protection, people who know what's going on."

Alice ignored his argument for Fort Benning, knowing that it was too late to change. "You still without a tent since Lori kicked you out?"

"I've been keeping watch."

"So that's a yes. Share with me tonight. It'd put my mind at ease and you get somewhere to lie down and rest."

"Thank you." he nodded as they reached the water.

The journalist was glad that he'd said yes. She hadn't wanted to be alone tonight. Shane was a power-crazy arsehole, apparently, but he'd saved her life and she couldn't be sure that more walkers wouldn't turn up. The woman crouched beside the quarry water with him, the darkness becoming thicker, and dipped her hands into the cool water to splash on her face. The Georgia heat, especially with the work moving bodies, was torturous. Alice would do a lot of illegal things for a shower.

"You ready to go back?" Shane asked, having finished washing the blood from his arms. Alice nodded, steppping away from the edge of the darkening water, and turned her back on her distorted reflection.

* * *

"Everybody, listen up." Alice turned to face the officer. The partners stood together, addressing the camp, and Alice couldn't help but wonder what they'd been like before this. They were good together.

"Those of you with CB's, we're gonna be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay?" Shane continued, "Now, you got a problem, don't got a CB, can't get a signal or anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"

"We're, uh, we're not going," Morales said. Alice stared at the family, at the man who was going to go alone and fend for himself with his two children and his wife. Was he mad?

"We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people." His wife, Miranda said. Alice paid little attention to her neat bun or the pretty dress, focusing instead on the words. They didn't know that their family was even alive. It was dedicated. Alice was still deciding whether it was stupid or not; she didn't know where Birmingham was. Was it even in Georgia?

"You don't know where you'll end up or who'll be there with you. Don't leave us." She said, but they'd have nothing of it.

"We want to be with our family," Morales said.

"You go on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back." Shane told the man, but Morales had an answer.

"We'll take the chance. I got to do what's best for my family."

"You sure?"

"We talked about it. We're sure."

Alice watched as the two little girls hugged goodbye and made a point of going over to the family, hugging Morales and Miranda.

"You be careful." She said, "Anybody carrying a bunch of guns or being cocky is dangerous and you should get out of there. If you need to distract a few walkers, throw something that makes a noise and they'll go to where it's landed and-"

"We've talked about it, Alice. Thank you though." Morales said, "Perhaps we'll see each other again when this is all over."

"When this is all over." She agreed, heading for Shane's car. Alice had already told Daryl to drain the last of the fuel from her bike for Merle's; there wasn't enough to make it to the CDCsnd while she was sharing tents with Shane she might as well ride with him too.

* * *

They left Jim at the side of the road. He wanted to be a walker to be with his family. Alice watched as those that had been close to the man said their goodbyes. She hadn't. She did know that he'd be at peace there, sat beside a deserted road in the middle of nowhere. The dead wouldn't disturb him until he was long turned.

She hoped that she would stop feeling so bad for not saying goodbye to him.

* * *

It took them a few more hours to reach the CDC. The sun was setting as they left the cars, following the road around. Alice tried to contain herself as they walked. There were bodies scattered about around the huge structure that was the CDC, dozens of them, and the journalist didn't know which were dead and which were undead. She stood by as Rick and Shane tried to open the shutters.

"There's nobody here," T-Dog said.

"Then why are these shutters down?" Rick was erratic, and Alice wasn't sure whether he really believed that there was someone in there or he just didn't want to be wrong, having led them here, as the dead soldiers rose up and ambled towards them.

Daryl shot one of the arrows before stalking around the group, squaring up to Rick "You led us into a graveyard!"

"He made a call." Shane said, and Alice turned herself away from the conversation to see the dead rising up.

"It was the wrong damn call!"

"We can't be here, this close to the city after dark," Lori said. Alice tried to block out the sounds of the children whimpering as she moved closer to the officers.

"We can. My apartment isn't far and the street should be clear; a couple of my neighbours used their cars to block up the road."

"We need answers tonight, now." Rick snapped. His eyes shot about, looking at the walkers, with the frenzy of a caged animal. He knew that they had nowhere to go, that the CDC wasn't an option anymore.

"Let's go. Everybody, back to the cars." Shane called, turning to Alice "We'll ride up front. You just direct us."

The journalist was moving away when she heard Rick make a sound and turned back to see the sheriff still stood, staring at the doors. He must have lost it.

"The camera, it moved." He said, staring at the camera, and Alice wondered if he was having hallucinations or if it truly had moved. A thought occurred to her, spinning about in her mind for a moment.

"Why would they leave and lock the place up? They wouldn't have any good reason to leave a place like this in a time like this." The journalist said, "These places are heavily fortified. Either they're all dead inside, which doesn't make sense because they knew bites made you turn and how to put walkers down, or… maybe there is someone in there."

"It's an automated device. It's gears, okay? They're winding down." Shane said, "We have got to go. Now."

Rick didn't respond, just kept staring at the camera. Around him, people were shouting. Did they go to the cars, or wait here and let the walkers surround them?

"Shane." She said, "Get the group out of here. I've got Rick."

"Don't be stupid. We have all got to go now or these walkers are gonna kill us all."

"So go. I've got this." Her hand shook as she pulled the hatchet from her belt, "Get Lori and Carl back to the cars."

The mention of them drew his attention and he rubbed at his face before storming towards Lori and Rick, saying something to Lori in an attempt to pull her away from her husband. Rick was still screaming at the camera.

"Please let us in!" the sheriff was screaming, even as Shane pulled Lori away. Alice put a hand on Rick's shoulder.

"Rick. Whoever's in there, they aren't opening these doors." Her eyes flickered back to the group who still hadn't left. They were fighting off walkers, trying to stop Lori and Carl running back to Rick. There were walkers on both sides, blocking the way to the cars. "Your wife, your son, they aren't going to leave without you. They're gonna die trying to run back here."

Alice raised her hatchet, fighting the way her lungs wouldn't take in a breath, and started moving towards a civilian walker that had made it over to them. Other people must have come here, too. They clearly hadn't gotten in.

An arrow went through its skull. She turned, looking for the hunter, but he wasn't facing her anymore. He'd already reloaded his crossbow and he's turned, aiming at another walker.

The sheriff was still shouting at the camera, attracting walkers, "If you don't let us in, you're killing us!"

A clang came from within the CDC and then shutters rolled open with a hiss, spilling artificial white light into the dusk. The doors had opened. Alice managed to get a breath.

* * *

Her eyes took a second to adjust to the giant reception area, glass windows two stories high and a patterned ground that gleamed under the light. There was a huge sign, blue, with CDC displayed across it. The journalist let the ones with the guns go first, just in case. There wasn't any noise, considering the CDC should have been full of busy scientists. That's what Alice had been expecting.

Rick took the opportunity to call out "Hello?" and Alice didn't fail to notice how the leadership torch had so quickly changed from Shane's hands to the sheriff's.

A man appeared, looking a bit of a mess. His blonde hair was messed about and his stubble starting to grow, but none of that mattered because he held out a black rifle pointed straight at them. "Anybody infected?" He didn't look military, or like a doctor, and Alice worried that it was a bunch of regular people hiding out in here.

"One of our group was. He didn't make it."

The man spoke in one large ramble, "Why are you here, what do you want?"

"A chance."

"That's asking an awful lot these days." the man said, taking a few steps closer to them with his rifle still raised.

"I know." the sheriff was audibly breathing, clearly panicking. This man had his gun up and Carl and Sophia were stood with them. Alice shifted on her feet through the silence, begging whatever might be listening for the man to let them stay. They needed this so bad.

Glenn stood beside her and they shared a look, waiting for the odd man with the rifle to make his decision. When she looked back at the man he met her eyes for a second before he kept looking at the desperate group.

"You all submit to a blood test; that's the price of admission." He looked conflicted by his decision but he'd done it and Alice smiled, knowing that they were safe.

"We can do that," Rick affirmed.

The man lowered his rifle, quickly moving towards the doors, "You got stuff to bring in you do it now. Once this door closes it stays closed."

Alice let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

Shane touched her shoulder, "I'll get your things. Wait here." They were in his car so it made sense, she supposed.

She turned back to the strange man, "I'm Alice Lockwood." she said, hating the way her name sounded coming out of her mouth. He looked away from the keypad to her, then to the doors. He was waiting for the group to come back through so that he could lock it.

"Doctor Edwin Jenner," he said, and the group burst back through the doors with the belongings. Alice took her bag from Shane, thanked him, and turned back for long enough to see Jenner type a code into the keypad.

The metal shutters closed for good.

* * *

 **A/N : So, this chapter actually ended up being longer than I intended so I've split it into two chapters. The next chapter will be them properly getting into the CDC and hearing all that Jenner has to say about the apocalypse which is going to be quite a shock for some of them.**

 **I am still shook about Morales but maybe that's because up until now he's been popping up as I've written these chapters.**

 **A super thank you to everyone who's read, reviewed, alerted or favourited this story! Please let me know what you thought of the chapter.**


	6. 6 - Just Endangered

**Part One - Adjustments**

 **6 - Just Endangered**

 _Edit: Just a warning that there is mention of suicide/people committing suicide because it's the CDC. Please don't read anything you know might be harmful or hurtful to you 3_

* * *

They followed Jenner into what might have been the depths of hell. The elevator went down, and down, and Alice pinched her arm so that she wouldn't picture the elevator crashing all the way to the bottom. Elevators were one thing that Alice would gladly never bring back. It would be elevators, out of everything, that would survive.

The corridor they followed Jenner down was filled with a bright, white light. It was the brightest room Alice had been in since the world went to hell. Despite the lights, the corridors were empty. At the end, a large room expanded outwards from the hallway. It was filled with high-tech looking computers that Alice didn't think she'd ever be able to use, never mind understand. Yet, for all the computers, there weren't any people.

"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room," Jenner called out, and a ring of lights above them illuminated, "Welcome to Zone Five."

There was something proud in his voice, showing these outsiders the place where he worked.

"Where is everybody? The other doctors, the staff?" Rick asked. Alice herself was curious. Why would anybody leave this place?

"I'm it." Jenner said, "There's just me here."

"What about the person you were speaking with? Vi?" Lori asked.

Alice watched Jenner as he shouted into the room, "Vi. Say hello to our guests. Tell them… welcome."

Alice listened as a computer voice responded, ""Hello guests. Welcome." So Jenner really was the last of the scientists. She tried not to think too hard about that.

* * *

She rubbed her arm. Needles had never bothered her in the same way they'd bothered her friends. She'd been the one, when it was time for the nurses to come in and do the vaccines, holding her friend's hands and telling them to relax and think about pizza. Now, though, the pinprick hole bothered her. The crook of her arm was a little sore as she moved it, and Alice tried to ignore the way it felt like she was back in the hospital.

"I don't like needles." A little voice said, and Alice turned to see Sophia, "My mommy says I have to get it done."

"We promised doctor Jenner that we'd have a blood test. That was why he let us in."

"Do you think if I cry, he won't make me do it?"

"You can try, but I think that might make it last longer."

The girl stuck out her bottom lip, clearly not happy with it. Alice hadn't seen her this bubbly, well, ever. Maybe she always had been and it was only now, with her father dead, that she could be something more than a shadow behind him.

Alice noticed the doll Sophia still held. "Is that the doll Eliza gave you?"

"Yeah. I miss her. She was my friend." The journalist watched as Sophia was taken over to Jenner by her mother and hoped that things would get better. It was like a war zone, bad things happening over and over and nobody there to help. Somebody had to help. A country somewhere had sorted it out and they were just solving their own problems before they came to help the rest of the world. Alice clutched that belief and didn't let go.

* * *

Alice ate all the food before she'd even tasted it. She regretted that, afterward, but finally having something real to eat had been amazing. The wine was good too, even if Alice hadn't ever been the type to drink wine. She'd always been the type to order a beer and pretend she didn't notice the snotty looks from sexist arseholes.

"Don't drink very often?" she said to Glenn. He was swaying in his chair. Her mind was a step behind everything else, a little fuzzy, but she wasn't as bad as Glenn.

"Not a big drinker." He said, taking another long drink of the wine. His cheeks were a bright red colour and Alice couldn't help but finish the rest of her wine. She grabbed a bottle from the table and filled her glass up. They'd survived two months out in the world; they deserved this.

"Let's call this a celebration for the pizza boy who lived through the living dead." She held her glass out to him, and Glenn clinked his glass against hers before raising it. They both took a drink like they were celebrating a wedding, or a promotion, not survival.

Glenn opened his mouth to reply but a voice barked from the other side of the table, "Not you, Glenn."

The pair turned to look at Daryl, and Alice heard Glenn say "What?"

"Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get."

Alice smiled, but the hunter turned himself away from them. She didn't know why Daryl was so adamant not to interact with her, other than when they'd been walking back from Atlanta, but she figured that he was like that with everyone. He only ever seemed to have something to say when he was angry, drunk, or disagreeing with someone.

"It seems to me," Rick drew everyone's attention as he spoke, "that we haven't thanked our host properly."

"He is more than just our host," T-Dog added, raising his glass, and Alice did the same as everyone cheered for the man. Daryl shouted "Boo-yah" and Alice couldn't help but echo his shout, even as she avoided his gaze. It wouldn't do for him to see her blushing. Alice argued with herself in her mind. It was the drink, just the drink, and definitely nothing else making her cheeks red.

"So when you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, Doc?" Shane interrupted the laughter. The journalist cast her eyes to him, his stubble starkly illuminated in the white lighting of the room. "All the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened. Where are they?"

"We're celebrating, Shane. Don't need to do this now." Rick added, and Alice couldn't help but agree. Couldn't the man let them rejoice in this for five minutes?

"Woah, wait a second. That's why we're here, right?"

"Bloody hell, Shane." The journalist groaned, "It was, but right now none of that matters. Do you intend to look at the facts and come to a conclusion all on your own? You're good at planning but I've known bricks who were better at maths."

He ground his teeth together, staring her down, "This was Rick's plan. We were supposed to find all the answers. Instead, we found him," he jerked his thumb towards the doctor who looked somewhat offended. Alice didn't blame him. "We found one man. Why?"

Jenner started speaking, sick of the questions, "Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just… bolted. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted."

"Every last one?" Shane laughed, not believing, and Alice really did understand why he didn't believe Jenner because why would anybody run away from a defended place when things got bad? Surely a few hadn't had families to go back to.

"Many couldn't face walking out the door." He enunciated each word, harsh, "They… opted out. There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time."

Alice swallowed.

"You didn't leave, why?" Andrea asked.

"I just kept working. Trying to do some good." The doctor said.

"Man, you are such a buzzkill." Glenn said, and Alice nodded in agreement before downing the last of her wine. Drinking reminded her of home.

* * *

"Most of the facility is powered down, including housing, so you'll have to make do here. Couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like." Jenner paused speaking for a moment, the group following in one long group behind him as he walked through the corridors, "There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy. Just, don't plug in the video games, okay? Or anything that draws power."

He turned to the rest of the group, "Same applies. If you have a shower, go easy on the hot water."

Alice thought her heart had stopped. She turned to Glenn, seeing him with the same face. "Did he just say hot water?"

"It's a bloody blessing." Alice grinned, not caring right then that there weren't any scientists.

* * *

Alice was sure that she'd been to paradise. The shower had been actual heaven, or at least as close as the journalist thought she'd ever get. Other than with baby wipes and soap, Alice hadn't had a proper wash like that since the running water in the city had shut off. She stood in front of the mirror, dressed in a pair of black pants and a purple chequered shirt that were a little too long on account of being taken from Lori.

Her cinnamon-colored hair fell down her back, more akin to black than brown from the damp, and for the first time in awhile was properly clean. The foreigner smiled as she ran her hands through her wet hair.

"We'll have to ask Jenner if he has clothes hidden away in storage too." Carol mentioned as she stood beside the woman, meeting her eyes in the mirror, "You never went back to your apartment with Glenn?"

"I was a long way away from it." Alice ran a toothbrush under the water, glad for the supplies of basic hygiene products that Carol had found in storage, "I was scared that Glenn would just leave if I spent all that time going back for clothes."

"He wouldn't ever do that."

"I didn't know at the time. Just wanted to leave the city." Alice put the toothbrush in her mouth, ending the conversation, and realised how much she'd missed brushing her teeth over a sink, in front of a mirror, instead of next to a tree and spitting onto the ground. She could see herself in the mirror, her cheeks sunken in and her face tinted red from the days out in the sun at camp. She used to kind of like how she looked. Alice thought that maybe, just maybe, she looked a bit like a walker. She spat out the toothpaste and kept her eyes down; Alice didn't want to see herself anymore.

* * *

After she'd cleaned up, Alice felt wide awake. She'd wandered around the CDC a couple of times but Alice couldn't find anybody she wanted to speak to. She'd seen Lori and Carol with the kids in the rec room but she didn't want to be this drunk in front of them. The journalist wasn't sure how she'd suddenly gotten worse. It might have been a couple months since she'd drank but Alice had always been good with her drink and all too eager to drink a lot of it.

The main room, the one with all the computers and the big screen, was dimly lit by the white lighting. Alice wasn't too bothered that they were underground, but she was bothered by the lighting. It gave her a headache.

"Are you lost?" a voice asked, and the woman looked about before seeing Jenner sat at one of the machines.

"Just bored." Her footing felt wrong as she went down the ramp, "Thanks for letting us in."

"Your friend, Rick, didn't exactly make it easy to turn you away."

"'Why wouldn't you have let us in?"

Jenner sighed, turning the chair back towards the computer screen, and ignored her question. "You really want to live in a world like this?"

"No." Alice didn't know if it was the drink or honesty, but she shrugged and pulled over another of the chairs, sitting beside the doctor, "But, people have always lived through bad things. Wars and cholera outbreaks and all that. If you don't live through it then you won't ever see it sorted."

"You'll be waiting a long time for it to be solved."

"How long?"

"There isn't an answer to that." Alice might have taken that more seriously if she wasn't drunk. Those words didn't have to mean that they really were in the shit. She didn't expect Jenner to have a cure. It was just him; no one could do anything that monumental alone. There were organisations everywhere though. The WHO would be working on it, the whole of the UN putting what they could into it. Alice knew they'd sort it out eventually. Nothing before had every destroyed humanity and nothing now would.

She saw that Jenner had a video feed recording on the computer and rolled the chair she was on beside him, leaning in so that she was visible, "Who are you sending this to?"

"No one will ever see this."

"Shame." Alice leaned out of frame, staring at Jenner on screen, not in reality, "Could you see us outside, through the cameras?"

"Yes. You told your group to leave while you stayed with Rick. Why is that?" Alice got the feeling that he was trying to figure out something for himself, something about people or the world or him.

"I'm terrified. I'm so scared that I'm going to get eaten alive, or shot down by bandits." she paused, "The kids, though. I couldn't let them get eaten. They're the future and all that rubbish, you know?"

"The human race is done. Extinct. What does it matter?"

"There's a bunch of humans here. That's not extinct, just endangered." Her voice slurred, "Just means we have to fight harder to not end up as an all-you-can-eat buffet."

"If you could end it yourself instead of being eaten, would you?" he asked. Alice blinked, staring at the doctor for a moment. Words wanted to come forward. Words that applied to four years ago, not now.

"Good talk." She muttered, standing from the chair. Alice took a second to stabilise herself before moving from the room without a word from the doctor.

* * *

The brunette went back to the kitchen to find a glass of water. She saw the hunter sat at the table, drinking. Alice wasn't sober enough to rethink walking over and taking a chair beside him.

"Wha' d'you want?" he held his bottle of whiskey protectively in one hand. Alice noticed that a lot was gone.

"Everyone's gone to bed and the doctor is being morbid."

"Ya ain't gon' sleep?"

"I'm not ready to sleep just yet. I guess you aren't either."

He'd been leaned away from her but he slowly stretched his arm towards her like she might bite. He held the whiskey bottle, "Ya want a drink?"

Alice thought it wouldn't do any harm. She took the bottle by the neck and drank a mouthful. It burnt on the way down but she was used to the burn. She'd been the type to drink things straight before all this. Before the wards and the meetings and the flight over the Atlantic.

"Thanks." She said, passing the bottle back. Alice tucked her knees up onto the chair, thinking of what to say to him. She wanted to speak to him but she didn't know what he'd care about.

"You a big drinker?" he asked quietly, more of a mutter, but it was words. Alice wanted to talk to him.

"I used to be." Alice held her hand out for the bottle, the cold glass soothing in her hand. "Things happened. You drink a lot?" She didn't want to just assume.

"Drinkin's in the Dixon blood." He didn't look happy about that. Alice drank from the bottle before handing it back to him, letting the fuzziness from the drink wrap around her.

"You miss Merle?"

"Nawh. He had too many stints in prison to ever be around for long." His eyes said different, a sadness clinging to them. Alice hadn't seen Daryl speak to someone like this at camp. Merle had been his closest confidante. "I'll find 'im."

Alice was pretty sure that was the longest sentence Daryl had ever said to her. She smiled, "He's around here somewhere."

"Ya ain't got any family to find?" Daryl swung the bottle from his fingertips, the amber liquid sloshing about. His eyes stared at the substance, moving only occasionally to glance up at her.

"I moved here alone."

"Why?"

Alice shrugged because she didn't have an answer that she could form into words. She held her hand out for the bottle, all too aware that she wasn't going to be able to walk straight back to her room. She wasn't ready to say out loud, to anyone, why she'd accepted the job over here. Nobody on the damn continent knew and Alice wasn't planning to let them in on it.

"I ain't carryin' you nowhere." He grunted, passing her the bottle. Alice laughed at the idea of that, at Daryl who wouldn't even talk to her yesterday morning carrying her back to the office she'd claimed as her room. She kind of liked the idea, not that the journalist would ever admit it. Daryl had a raised eyebrow, watching her laugh, and she realised that she looked insane.

"Can take care of myself, thank you very much." She said, taking a drink before passing it back. The strong taste reminded her of drinking in the park with whiskey hidden in a McDonald's cup.

"Ya don't know how to shoot." She blushed, remembering how awkward it'd been to have T-Dog load the rifle for her when she couldn't do it herself. She'd always advocated for gun control but maybe it was time to learn how to use a gun.

"Well, I could take care of myself. Before this. I was good at what I did." Alice pursed her lips,"You're made for this world."

He stayed silent, so Alice continued. She probably shouldn't have. Alcohol really did remove your inhibitions. "You can hunt, you've got a crossbow… You're strong, Daryl. Stick with me while we ride out whatever this bollocks is."

"And what?" his face had closed over, eyes narrowed. "Ya sayin' I wasn't worth shit?" He stood so quickly that the chair behind him hit the ground, the crash echoing around the room. "Ya just wanna play nice for protection? Ain't how it works, princess."

He was storming away with whiskey clutched close to his chest before Alice could process the situation. She stood when he was near the door, trying to put together words.

"That's not what I meant-"

"Shut the hell up." The shout came before the hallway door slammed, and Alice sank back down into the chair before rubbing a hand across her face. Everything felt a little numb from the drink. She was sad, but she didn't really know why. Daryl had taken it the wrong way. Why would his tantrum ever affect her? She steeled herself, reminding herself that he was an arsehole and she had no reason to want to be nice to him.

She shouted out into the empty room, alcohol slurring her speech, "Wanker!"

Alice decided that she needed another shower.

* * *

"Where's the coffee?" Alice aimed straight for the kitchen, leaving Glenn to find the aspirin while she found some coffee. T-Dog was cooking some scrambled eggs and the journalist smiled despite the throbbing in her head, finding the empty coffee maker and attempting to make more.

"Morning." T-Dog said, "You don't look so good."

"I am not good. I feel like there's a hammer banging inside my brain." Alice grumbled at the machine, "I miss instant coffee. I always had instant coffee until I moved here. I hate these damn machines."

"I've got it." T-Dog said, moving Alice aside to fiddle with the machine while keeping an eye on the scrambled eggs he was cooking. Alice got some water while she was waiting, for hydration. She knew all the best ways to get rid of her own hangovers by then.

"Thanks." She watched the machine, waiting for it to finish. "You haven't got a hangover?"

"Didn't drink that much." he said, "I don't believe in indulgence."

"Good morals." she said, despite the throbbing in her brain that reminded her of years of indulging. Alice drank the glass of water in one, feeling a little ill from drinking it all down, and returned to the pot of coffee to pour herself a cup. Black, no sugar. She was still pouring her cup when she noticed a figure stood behind her, watching her pour the coffee.

"You want some coffee, Daryl?"

He grunted, no words. That was probably a yes, or a get the hell out of my way.

Alice pulled out another cup before pouring the coffee into it for him. "Last night, you took it the wrong way."

He grunted again, snatching the cup away and spilling hot coffee on himself as he went. He shook his hand, hissing, but didn't turn back to say thank you or grab a cloth.

"Last night?" T-Dog had raised an eyebrow and had a shit-eating grin on his face, "Did I miss something?"

"Just had some of his whiskey, that's all, and then he got offended over literally nothing."

"Suppose someone's gotta fill in for Merle's big mouth." T-Dog said, and Alice realised that these people just thought Daryl was a mini Merle. He didn't seem like a mini Merle but Alice didn't know Merle for anything other than his racist comments and raging libido, half of which were from stories she'd been told and not from the man himself.

She moved away, heading for the table. She wouldn't ever be able to stand Daryl Dixon for more than five minutes, what with his mood changes and his ability to see compliments as insults. Maybe he was as irritating as they all said Merle was.

Alice drank her scalding coffee as she sat beside Glenn and took the bottle of aspirin when he was done with it. She dry-swallowed two and shook her head at the horrible taste, drinking more coffee to wash it away.

"It'll get better," she said because Glenn had nestled his face into his arms. Her head might have been killing her but Alice still enjoyed the morning. There was something to be said for the colour of the sky of dawn, even if Alice had spent most of her life never seeing it and still couldn't while they were underground.

"Morning." Alice scrunched her face up at the shout from behind her, her brain throbbing with a dull pain, turning a moment later to see Sophia smiling, "Does your head hurt?"

"Very much so."

"Mommy said it would." Alice cast a long look across the table to Carol before putting her coffee down, turning around to face Sophia.

"What's up Sophia?"

"Eliza went to Birmingham soo-oooo… Will you be my new friend?"

Alice smiled, knowing that Carol couldn't have minded her saying yes. She looked over at the woman first, just in case, but Carol didn't seem bothered. "Of course. Tell you what, let me drink my coffee now and later we can get some of the board games out in the rec room."

The girl nodded before skipping back to her mother and sitting down at the table. Alice thought Sophia was lovely but it didn't change that she felt like death right then. She turned to Glenn, listening to his groans.

"I feel it too. Coffee helps." Alice said.

"You don't look that bad," Glenn moaned, "I'm never drinking ever again."

"I'm just used to it. You can't get away with being drunk on a Sunday if you can't pretend to function in class on a Monday."

Alice saw Shane come in. She was going to say hello, but T-Dog beat her to it with a question. "The hell did that? Your neck." The journalist leaned to see the four red scratches down his neck.

"'Musta done it in my sleep." He said. Alice didn't fail to notice the way Lori was looking down at the table, avoiding eye contact with just about everybody. She'd been fine before Shane had walked into the room.

"Never seen you do that before." Rick said. Alice was pretty sure that he hadn't. She held her tongue, deciding not to start whatever drama the trio had going on at breakfast. Lori and Shane clearly didn't want to mention it.

When Jenner made his way into the room and to the coffee, the journalist couldn't help but notice that Daryl had disappeared.

"I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing, but…" Dale began, speaking to the doctor.

"But you will anyway." The doctor shook his head as he got his coffee from the machine.

"We didn't come here for the eggs." Andrea added.

"Actually, I came for the shower." Alice said, causing Glenn to moan at the sound of her voice beside him, "Do we have to do this now?"

"We came here for answers."

* * *

Alice didn't let go of her second coffee, following Jenner into the computer room. She recalled being in here, drunk, and hoped Jenner didn't think she was a complete buffoon. She'd have to live here, with him, for god knew how long.

"Give me a playback of TS-19." Jenner called out the computer. Alice took up a spot leaning against one of the machines, sipping at her second coffee. The bitterness made the cotton wool in her mouth go away for a moment.

"Few people had a chance to see this. Very few." Jenner said as an ethereal blue image appeared on the screen. It was a person, Alice realised, with their brain animated. She felt important, honoured, to be able to see this.

"Is that a brain?" Carl asked. He sounded excited, his voice high pitched.

"An extraordinary one." Jenner smiled.

Alice herself was excited. She wanted to know how the walkers worked. The screen showed a brain, all lit up with beautiful turquoise light. Electrical transmissions or something, chemicals bridging gaps in the brain. Her mind tried to recall the long-forgotten memories from high school science.

"What are those lights?" Shane drawled. Alice didn't take her eyes off the screen, deciding that Shane had never sounded any dumber than that moment. The display was beautiful. Perhaps she was being harsh.

"It's person's life, experiences, memories. It's everything." Jenner himself looked amazed at the display, a sparkle in his eye that lit up when he talked about it. He must love his job. "Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is the thing that makes you unique. And human."

"You don't make sense ever?" Daryl asked.

"Those are synapses," Jenner explained. So that was what they were called, "Electrical impulses in the brain that carry all of the messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth… to the moment of death."

"Death?" Alice saw Rick, one eye narrowed as he looked at Jenner, "That's what this is? A vigil?"

"Yes. Or rather, the playback of the vigil." Jenner said softly. Fondly.

"Who?" Andrea asked. Alice stayed put against the machine, watching as the display on the screen went on.

"Test Subject Nineteen. Someone who was bitten, and infected, and volunteered for us to record the process." Jenner said. "VI, scan forward to the first event."

Vi responded, and then the screen changed. A black spiderweb of darkness was invading the blue lights, coming from the neck. It was destroying the light going between the synapses.

"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands haemorrhage. The brain goes into shutdown, and then the major organs." Jenner was listing this person's death off as though it was nothing. Alice felt sick. This was how a walker was made. She saw Andrea tearing up.

She wouldn't cry. Alice hadn't ever seen someone close to her turn. Her parents, her old friends, she couldn't say for definite.

"She lost somebody two days ago. Her sister." Lori filled the scientist in, who then moved over to Andrea.

"I lost somebody too. I know how devastating it is." He moved away, suddenly passionate, "Scan to the second event."

The time on the playback went forward, but nothing had happened yet. Jenner continued, "The resurrection times vary wildly. We have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient it was two hours, one minute, seven seconds."

A dark red glow appeared in a portion of the brain, nowhere else. It reminded Alice of blood magic from movies Before. It was ominously creeping into the brain, nothing good coming from it.

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked.

"No, just the brain stem." Jenner answered, 'Basically it gets them up and moving."

"But they're not alive." Rick moved over to the scientist.

"You tell me." Jenner said. Alice stared at the way the small part of the brain was illuminated red. It was dead, decayed, gone. It wasn't alive, not really.

"It's nothing like before." Rick said, "It's dark."

"Dark like the dead. The front part, the neocortex, the human part? That doesn't exist anymore. That doesn't come back, The 'you' part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct."

Alice was considering why Jenner rambled so much when the flash shot across the screen. It tore a hole through the animated brain and Alice realised what it was. She heard the others questioning it.

"He shot his patient." Andrea said.

"He shot a walker, Andrea." Alice refrained from saying that they'd done the same, knowing it would hurt her, "There's a difference."

The foreigner didn't know when she'd started accepting that you couldn't fix the walkers. When had she started thinking that killing them was okay? Maybe she'd always known and hadn't ever really wanted to believe it.

"Vi, power down main screen and the workstations." The scientist ignored them both. Alice caught one last glimpse of the brain before the screen shut off.

"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea asked the doctor. When he paused, Alice turned her head from the blank screen to listen. She wanted these answers.

"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal."

"Or the wrath of God?" Jacqui offered.

"There is that."

"No." Alice said, "No, of course, you know. You have to know. How could you not know what this thing is? Somebody knows." Her mouth wouldn't close, but eventually, she'd run out of things to say and Jenner would get his time to reveal what they knew what coming.

"Everything went down. Communications, directives, all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month."

"There must be things functioning. You aren't the last one." Alice was frantic, hands clutched around the coffee cup so tightly that her knuckles went white. She'd been betting everything on it getting better. She could feel the weight of her phone in her hand, of trying to call her dad back and having no signal. Of trying to listen to the voicemail he'd left her and not being able to. She never would be able to.

"Everybody went offline."

"There's nothing left anywhere. There's nothing left. That's what you're really saying, right?" Andrea confronted the doctor, who didn't reply.

"Man I'mma get shitfaced drunk. Again." Daryl said, walking away in search of booze.

"So I'm never going to get home." Alice's voice became frantic, higher pitched, broken by emotion, "My parents, they're probably dead. They're walkers. They're dead and I'm here. Extinct. This is what you meant."

Alice let out a long sob and spun, sending the mug flying. It shattered against the wall.

Alice felt her legs wobble as she kicked one of the office chairs sending it rolling across the floor. She wasn't sure that she could breathe properly. Her chest convulsed with sobs. She could hear Dale, trying to reason with Jenner. Alice tried to be calm but she couldn't stop the way her eyes stung. She blinked, rapidly. Her hands found the edges of the computer and she leaned against it, head bowed, and listened.

"Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but that clock, it's counting down. What happens at zero?" Dale asked.

"The basement generators, they run out of fuel."

"And then?"

"Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"

Alice listened to Vi's response, "When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."

Decontamination didn't sound nice. She remembered sticking one of the metal instruments in a high school science experiment into the flame to 'decontaminate it'.

* * *

Alice had managed to find herself a bottle of vodka. It was enough. Her backpack was by the doors, her hatchet in her belt, and the bottle in her hand. She took a long drink of the liquid, glad for the burn, and watched as everyone trailed from the offices behind Jenner.

That was that. The world was over and she was an ocean away from the only people who'd stuck by her side for her entire life, no matter what she'd done. No, she thought, remember what they used to say. Positive thoughts.

'It was the French." Jenner had stopped and was speaking to Andrea, "They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs until the end."

"What happened?" Jacqui asked.

"Same thing that's happening here. The power grid ran out of juice."

"So this is everywhere, yeah? Everywhere in the world has walkers on it." Alice felt her voice slur a little.

"I believe so." Jenner said. Maybe Antartica didn't have walkers. Alice just wanted him and his bad prediction of the world to be wrong.

An alarm started blaring as Shane and Rick told everyone to get their things. Alice sat up, watched Jenner walking real quick towards something. She followed him but was too late to see him type the keycode in. The door closed with a slam. She stared at it, thick steel rimmed with black and yellow stripes.

"You closed the door." She said, "Why'd you close the door? You wanna kill us all, Jenner? Decontamination is killing organisms or something. I know that. I know that, Jenner, so open the door."

He reached forward, plucking the vodka bottle from her fingers. Alice scowled but didn't stop him. She'd had enough for now.

She watched as Daryl ran at the man, not feeling bad at all. Shane stopped him. Alice thought maybe she should give the scientist a piece of her mind.

"Jenner, open that door now." Rick demanded.

"There's no point; everything topside's locked down. The emergency exits are sealed."

"Why can't you open them?" Alice asked.

"That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you, once that front door closed it wouldn't open again. I told you. You heard me say that."

"I thought you meant for us to get more of our stuff, not die in here!" Alice shouted, "What's decontamination mean for this place, Jenner?"

"What happens in twenty-eight minutes?" Rick shouted. Alice saw the red numbers ticking down from the corner of her eye but didn't look. She didn't want to know.

"Come on! You know what this place is?! We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" Jenner was screaming. He composed himself before sitting in his chair, "In the event of a terrorist attack, for example, H.I.T's are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."

"H.I.T.'S?"

"Vi, define."

"H.I.T.'S; high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between 5,000Â and 6,000Â and is used when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."

"It sets the air on fire. No pain. An end to sorrow, grief, regret, everything."

Alice walked away from Jenner, to the door, and looked around it. No keypads, no locks or levers or secret buttons. She'd heard words like that from people before. The desire to die because it felt like the perfect solution. She tried to ignore how she felt, too. It had never been the right decision Before and it wasn't now.

She watched Daryl run at the door and wondered how she could stop Jenner from believing it. Jenner was speaking to Rick now, to all of them. "Last night you said you knew it was only a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead."

"You said that?"

"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?" Rick looked stunned, upset that Jenner had revealed his words.

"Clearly I wasn't the only one having a confessional with the good doctor last night," she mused, "Everyone I love is already dead, Rick. It's not a good place."

* * *

"You can't force them to stay here."

"Them?"

Alice shrugged, "Keeping them here, it isn't their choice. It's murder."

"I told you, once those doors close they don't open again."

"You weren't clear, Edwin, you didn't make it sound like what it was. A forced death." She used his first name because maybe that would appeal to him more. Maybe.

"I can't open topside."

"They can break out."

"That's bulletproof glass up there." Alice sat beside the doctor, soundtracked by the thudding of Daryl's axe against the door. Her bag, her hatchet, sat on the ground by the doors. She didn't know if she'd ever need them again.

"Why didn't you try and leave? Try and find somewhere else to make a cure."

"I'm nothing without my wife." Alice didn't know love like that but she understood losing someone so close to you that you couldn't function anymore. It had been eight years since it had happened and Alice still felt like a piece of her was missing.

"A long time before this, I lost someone. I tried to save her but I didn't know CPR. I failed."

"Did it ever get better?"

"Maybe. I changed myself. I got a first aid qualification and started writing my blog again." Alice picked at a hangnail, "But that was a long time after. I lost so much time just grieving and hating myself."

"That's what I'm doing here. This eliminates all that grief, all that suffering. It's better."

Alice saw Carol, clutching her baby girl. "Maybe it doesn't have to be all bad. These people have survived so much, before and after this, and they shouldn't have to give up now."

"You understand what grief feels like. Why subject yourselves to it?"

"You agree that it's only a matter of time before we all die. It is, but let us have that time."

"I can't open those doors now. It's too late."

"No. I can't ever get back to my parents. I can't ever get Stevie back. But, you have a keypad right there." Alice stood, "We came here for hope, not a mercy killing."

She moved away before he could say more. She sat at another desk, away from him, and started writing nonsense onto an abandoned pad of paper. There was a peace in knowing that this was it.

* * *

Daryl had threatened Jenner with an axe and Shane had tried to blow the man's brains out. Clearly, they weren't thinking straight. That brain was the only one who knew the code to get out.

"I think you're lying." Rick said to the doctor. Alice could still taste Shane's shot in the air.

"What?"

"You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

'It does matter. It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?"

"Not because I wanted to," the doctor explained, "I made a promise. To her. My wife." He gestured to the now-black computer screen that had shown the animated walker.

"Test Subject Nineteen was your wife." Lori said.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no? She was dying. Shoulda been me on that table. She ran this place. I just worked here. In our fields she was an Einstein. I'm just Edwin Jenner."

"Let us keep tryin' as long as we can." Lori begged, and the doctor's eyes changed.

"I told you, topside's locked down, I can't open those." He moved to his keypad, typed in a code, and the door opened. She heard everyone screaming as they ran for the door, glad to be free. Alice knew she had to make her mind up now.

Her therapists had always said that after wanting to die came the part where you wanted to live.

Rick spoke to Jenner, "I'm grateful."

"The day will come when you won't be." The doctor replied. Alice ignored the way the words sent chills down her spine. He whispered something in the sheriff's ear before the sheriff was stumbling backward, then running, getting out of the CDC as fast as he could.

"Are you staying?" Jenner asked. Alice looked at him, at the group running through the halls. They hadn't noticed she'd stayed, in their excitement. Alice saw Andrea and Dale. Saw Jacqui saying goodbye to everybody. Heard Andrea say that she was staying, watched Dale tell the group to leave.

"Maybe they sorted England out and my parents are alive."

"They didn't."

"I know. One day, I'll be okay with that." Alice said, "I actually have to go. I'm kind of on a tight schedule."

He smiled at her joke, despite his words, "You're making a mistake."

"Yeah, maybe." Alice shrugged before running for the ramp, grabbing her bag as she went. She passed Dale, on her way to Andrea, and gave him a breathless nod. She bounded up the stairs, two at a time, and ignored the leg burn. She really should have invested in a standing desk before this. A clock ticked down in her mind, digital red numbers flying away. She just needed time.

Alice couldn't breathe as she went up the dark stairwell, not knowing how long she had. She made it to the top, though, and saw the broken glass pane. She didn't question how they'd done it, just ran through it. Her backpack bounced on her back, on the one shoulder she had it on. She hit the grass outside and breathed despite seeing the walkers stood about. She almost leaned over to catch her breath but saw Rick gesturing to her, pointing at his watch, and realised that the explosion would get her from here.

Alice kept running, this time with her hatchet out. How long did she have before the whole place exploded?

She ran back to Shane's car. She slid into the passenger side, throwing her bag into the back seat.

"Thought you weren't leaving." He said.

"I nearly didn't make it." Alice saw Dale and Andrea leave the window, glad that they'd left, and wondered how long they had.

Rick was shouting get down. He had a watch. Alice looked to Shane for a moment before flattening her chest against her knees, covering her ears. She felt Shane leaning over her, ducking himself down.

The explosion shook everything. A wave of force blowing into them for just a moment. Alice couldn't hear her own heartbeat because of the roar of the destroyed building. She sat up after Shane did, saw the flaming, smoking ruins. Jacqui and Jenner had chosen to die in that. It was majestic, at least, like a Viking funeral without the water.

"You don't see that every day." she said, watching the smoke rise. The CB crackled, Rick asking if everyone was okay. Not yet, but maybe one day leaving wouldn't be a mistake.

 **End of Part 1**

* * *

 **a/n: So here's the other half of Chapter 5 that's literally 7 thousand words and needed it's own chapter. Let me know what you thought of it! There was some interaction between Alice and Daryl but it's going to be a slowburn simply because neither of these characters are going to suddenly declare love in a massive gesture four days into knowing someone.**

 **I chose to end Part 1 at the CDC simply because Alice has finally figured out that the world isn't going to magically sort itself out and so 'Adjustments' is no longer appropriate. For the record, the parts don't mean much other than the titles and parts of the journey. It's just me being weird with my formatting.**

 **SPOILER FOR 8x08! Can someone please comfort me because I am just broken after that midseason finale. I heard the rumours but I still convinced myself they wouldn't do that to Carl : ((((. Anybody else super shocked even though they knew it was coming? Rick's face shattered my heart.**


	7. Part Two - 7 - The Dead Guy

**Part 2 - Disunity**

 **7 - The Dead Guy**

 _"The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."_

 _\- Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird)_

* * *

The hallway was shadowed, the last dregs of the day's light slipping through the dusty window at the end of the hall. The door she came to was beside the window, her figure surrounded by disturbed dust that was dancing in the sunlight. Alice put her hands on the grey door. The yellow wall beside it still held a browned handprint from the beginning but otherwise held no blood. The building was almost normal, save for the complete silence outside.

The journalist stopped stalling and put the keys into the lock, pushing at the door. It swung open with a creak. She heard the officer behind her adjust the shotgun rested on his shoulder. The room past the door was dark, save for the drawn brown blinds which glowed from the light behind them. Some light surrounded them, illuminating the gleaming kitchen sink and the ceiling like sideways haloes.

Alice strode across the room, grasping the cord to open the blind. She squinted as the blind rose and she got a view of the outside. The convoy sat in the street, waiting. She gave them the thumbs up before turning back to the now slightly lit-up room. Shane was leaning into another doorway, one beside the television set, and Alice hoped her bedroom wasn't a complete mess. Not that it really mattered, but she didn't want the officer seeing anything personal about.

"There's nothing in here. No one else had a key but myself and the landlord, who I happened to see get bitten outside this very window." Alice looked back out of it, seeing the group moving across the road and to the building. Three stories high, it didn't give her or them the best view, but they'd agreed that Alice would open the blind when she and Shane knew the way up to the apartment was safe and the plan seemed to have worked. They would take over next door, too, for space.

"This your parents?" she turned around and saw the officer now sat on her couch and holding the silver-framed photo she kept on the coffee table.

"I want that so don't ruin it." She said, putting her hands on the back of the faux leather couch so that she could see the photo, "That's their wedding."

"That you?" he asked, pointing to the toddler stood between the pair in the photo. Her father had married her mum when she was four after her own dad had jumped ship a couple months into Alice's life.

"Yeah." Alice caught sight of the red down his neck again, thinking of the conversation he'd had with T-Dog about it over breakfast that morning. "What actually happened to your neck?"

"I told you-"

"Don't be a git, I saw Lori get upset when you talked about it this morning. I don't think your sleeping habits would bother her so-"

"It ain't your business."

"It ain't your marriage." She mimicked, stressing the ain't. Alice wondered if, over time, she'd end up speaking like she was from Georgia

"I love her.. I can protect her. Rick is just gonna lead us into another trap. He doesn't have what it takes for this world." He clenched his fists around the picture frame. Alice had suspected Lori and Shane weren't just friends ever since she'd gotten to the quarry. Alice had even thought that they were married before she'd heard about Rick. Now, though, she worried as to why Lori would have scratched Shane.

"What happened to you being half the man Rick is?" Shane had no time to reply, a figure appearing in the apartment doorway The officer's grasp became white-knuckled around the silver frame. Alice leaned over the couch and yanked it from Shane's grasp, making sure to keep it close to her as she sat up; It was the only physical photo she had of them.

"I am what?" the sheriff asked as he walked in, a bag over his shoulder and his hand still moving to put his pistol away. Alice knew that the man finding out about his wife's infidelity now would be nothing but trouble. The group was too fractured to have the two leaders fighting each other in the street.

"Shane said he's half the man you are. I guess he respects you. Was just asking him about that." Alice said, before gesturing to the photo in her hand, "I'm gonna go and pack some stuff, okay?"

"I appreciate it, brother." The sheriff nodded to the officer on the couch. Alice wondered if Shane felt guilty, if he even considered Rick his brother now. Rick placed his bag next to the door, turning to watch the rest of the group coming up the stairs, "You got any food?"

"Not much." Alice swung the bedroom door open, "Don't know about my former neighbors though. I never felt right about raiding their places. They'll have some left."

* * *

Alice stared at the clothes hanging in her wardrobe and questioned why she didn't own anything decent for the situation. She'd managed to find a fleece and some jeans but most of her wardrobe consisted of things that were intended to look good, not be warm or cool or durable or anything that she actually needed them to do now.

"Alice?" the journalist turned to see Rick stood in the doorway of her room. He stepped in and closed the door behind him. Something felt off.

"What's up?"

"You still have your notes about the virus from work?"

"Yeah." Alice wondered why Rick was asking but moved over to the little desk in the corner of her room anyway. She brushed papers aside, finding the black notebook buried under them. "What did you need them for?" The papers and notes made her remember work, remember the last day before everything was gone.

"Just want to know what was happening while I was in a coma."

Alixe didn't question that, even though her notes would only be so useful and the man had heard all he could from Shane and his wife. Not including their relationship, but Rick had no reason to ask for her notes if he suspected that.

She held the book out, "The notes about walkers are near the back. If you're confused I uh, I called them methheads in my notes a lot before they proved it wasn't a drugs thing."

"Thanks." Rick stayed silent, keeping quiet and still. Whatever he wanted to see, he wouldn't tell Alice. She wasn't sure she wanted to know.

* * *

 _Her heels_ clicked _along the ground as she walked across the office. The glass walls around her boss' office blocked the sound from the main office, though Alice knew the walls weren't necessary when half the office hadn't turned up to work. Some called in sick, others didn't let them know anything at all and Alice worried about her coworkers._

 _"Got a second?_ _" Alice paused in her stride, adjusting the papers in her grip, and saw the white bandage peeking out from under his blazer cuff, "Are you sick?"_

 _He frowned at his blazer sleeve and yanked it down to cover the bandage, "I'm not running a fever yet."_

 _"You need to go to the hospital-"_

 _"No. That's where this happened. I went to go and visit Peter. They came in and… they shot him. I'm thankful they didn't see him bite me."_

 _"It can't be that bad-"_

 _"It is and I understand why. They're scared of the sick people." he glanced back at his computer screen. Alice wished she could see it out of morbid curiosity. When the world went upside down, you wanted to see what was going on. "People are posting videos. You can chop off all the sick people's limbs and they'll keep coming at you, dragging themselves along the ground."_

 _"Who did that to someone-"_

 _"Chances are, in rural areas where the military aren't helping, those people won't have any problem in killing who they need or want to."_

 _"That's sick." She muttered, and decided to change the subject because bad people were never a nice thought, "People are leaving, by the way. They're worried because of the warnings. They want to get their families." Alice was scared herself but she wouldn't just give in. People needed to hear what was happening and they were working here to help that happen._

 _"Let them go."_

 _Alice frowned, wondering how he expected to keep the company going. She adjusted the hem of her pencil skirt, wondering if he was delirious from the sickness._ _"It's still the morning. We're so busy with all these reports-"_

 _"Work doesn't matter right now."_

 _"People have to know whether it's safe to go outside for the shopping or pick their children up from nursery, Jon."_

 _"I won't force them to stay when they have their own families."_

* * *

Alice sat on the ground, against the wall. It might have been her apartment, before, but now it was just a room. The whole group barely fit into the two apartments, nevermind in Alice's one all at once so that they could eat together, and she'd given up the couch for the mothers and children.

"You sure nobody wants the bed tonight?" she asked, still feeling bad.

"You deserve to sleep in your own bed one last time," Lori said. Alice thought she looked really pretty in the lamplight, the lights that Alice still thought would attract the dead. Rick had taped thick sheets over the windows but Alice wasn't convinced that it'd hide all the light. She'd never had a light on after dark before meeting this group. She'd sat in her bedroom, with the curtains drawn, and taken up praying for a time until she realized that praying out of desperation, not a real belief, would do nothing for her and she was better off getting sleep.

"Thank you." Alice had another spoonful of the sausage and beans that they'd cooked. The food reminded her of being a child. Rick and Shane had found an abundance of the stuff in cans in the apartment next door, the one where a single mother and her child used to live. Alice knew they'd gone to one of the parks for evacuation just before the city was napalmed. "Feels weird being here again."

"I'm sorry that we have to leave." Lori said.

'We can't exactly live in here." Alice ate the last mouthful of the meager ration, chewing slowly. The bowl she ate from had a chip down the side from when Alice had thrown the TV remote at Delia, before this. In hindsight, walking the two feet to her might have been a better idea. They'd laughed about it though and Alice didn't regret it. She liked having the bowl to remember.

Alice couldn't stop thinking about before. Alice kept expecting to turn around and see the TV on or hear the kettle boiling.

"Though, I always used to buy toiletries in bulk. We can split what I have left. Should last us awhile." Alice stood, weaving around the piles of bedding and sleeping bags that people had made, and dropped her empty bowl into the sink. It wouldn't ever be washed. The breakable things were useless on the road and the running water hadn't worked for a long time.

She crouched before the sink and opened the cupboard, revealing the stacks of things she'd bought well in advance. Soap and deodorant and feminine products, a whole bunch that wouldn't last the group all that long. Alice saw the picture frame, the one Delia had bought her because she didn't have enough 'reminders of love' around the apartment. The picture of them was still inside. Alice pulled it out and set it on the counter. She'd shoved it into the cupboard when the pair broke up. The journalist took the back off the frame and took the photo out, wishing Delia had gotten to live longer. That drew her thoughts to Jonathan and to everyone who'd died before they had a fighting chance.

* * *

 _"I need you to do something for me." his voice was quiet but sure. It didn't tremble despite the sweat dripping from his reddened face._

 _The office was silent. Everyone else had long been sent home or left of their own volition. Alice stayed because he was sick and she had nowhere to go to. Somewhere far away, sirens blared and gunshots sounded across the city. She could hear car horns, too, beeping at traffic to move. Alice was glad that she still walked home, having avoided learning how to drive with the driver on the left instead of the right._

 _"What?"_

 _He reached into the desk, his hand concealed within the drawer. The bandage peeked out from under his suit cuff. "I may be your manager but I consider us friends. My boyfriend is dead." He looked down, remembering something, and Alice hoped that Peter hadn't had a bad death; he'd been a good guy. "We've seen reports all day that they haven't got a cure."_

 _"What are you saying?"_

 _"This is going to kill me. There's nothing at home for me with Peter dead and I couldn't move if I wanted to, not like this. Will you stay with me?"_

 _"You aren't going to die," Alice argued. She moved from the window, from the view of the luckily deserted street outside, and stood before his desk._

* * *

The building was still quiet as she crept through the reception. Alice had unlocked the front doors with the keys Jonathan had given her to close up. He wanted her to be one of the top people in this company, before, but now it was just a building. Alice had no career here anymore.

She felt herself constantly turning around, looking for the walkers that she hadn't yet seen. Alice felt like she wasn't alone and tried to convince herself that the living were all sleeping in the darkness of the city. The building had an alarm on the back door and the front doors had remained locked. It was all Alice could use to calm herself when considering what she'd do should there be walkers in here.

She took the stairs up as she always had done to avoid the elevators. Alice hoped the group hadn't woken and found her keys and her note. She'd snuck out when T-Dog left his watch to take a leak. It hadn't been that hard to sneak out of her own apartment building.

The journalist stayed silent as she climbed and she stayed silent as she emerged on the right floor, flashlight in hand. Though she couldn't smell decay and felt relieved, Alice knew she'd find a walker here. Slowly, with the bluish light reflecting off of all the glassy computer screens and glass-windowed offices like a spirit in the darkness, she got to the office. She saw him through the glass.

Still in the chair, now struggling to move at the sight of her light. Rotten and dead and a thing, not a man. Alice pushed open the glass door, the material cold under her fingertips, and hoped that the belt she'd used to tie up his still body would hold now that he was animated.

Sunken face, white eyes, a dark grey pallor that the living couldn't ever have. It reeked of death in the room. The last time Alice had been here, she'd been in a skirt and a blouse and heels that she pretended didn't kill her feet. Alice stood, in dirty clothes, and wished it had been different. Wished she could have been something more than this.

* * *

 _"We've been releasing reports on this disease all day." he withdrew his hand from the drawer, a black handgun clasped in it. He placed it on_ _to_ _the wood with a thunk. "You know how this is going to end."_

 _Alice stepped back, nearly stumbling in her heels, far too aware of the power of that little weapon, "What do you want?"_

 _"Don't let me become one of the infected. When I die-"_

 _"No. No. No, Jon_ _you can't be serious-"_

 _"I am."_

 _Alice was backing up. She felt tears burn in_ _her eyes and remembered to blink. "The fever is making you delirious. The military is out there fixing this. Listen to the fucking gunshots!"_ _Alice knew her hairbun had fallen out, hair flying around her tear-stained face as she shook._

 _"And who are those gunshots for?"_ He stayed calm, collected, as he strode up to his fate.

 _Alice knew the answer. Knew how they were dealing with it. She'd seen the video of the hospital, the one they knew they couldn't put out online. Children, some sick, being massacred._

 _"It's just to regulate the numbers. They can't control that many cannibalistic crazy people, that's all."_

 _He watched her. Alice sat down in the hard wooden chair in front of his desk like it was a meeting and not a sick man asking her to end him._

 _"I'm going to die-"_

 _"No, you'll pass out. They said it's like they're unconscious where the person doesn't know what they're doing but the body does it's own thing..." she spluttered, aware that she was wrong._

 _"They amended that to biologically dead, except for the brain, four hours ago. When I die, I want you to shoot me in the head. I won't make anyone else sick that way. I'm not asking you to shoot me before I'm dead; I'm asking you to shoot a dead body."_

 _"Jonathan-" Like using his full name might knock sense into him and change his decision. They watched each other, Alice trying to find a reason for him to wait for a cure and Jonathan wondering how he could convince her to shoot him._

 _"Please." He was begging. He was begging her to murder him, to become a killer. She couldn't do it. But, he was dying, and he'd asked of her his one final wish._

 _"Okay." her voice trembled. Unlike his voice, which was calm even in the face of certain death. He'd made peace with it, taken what he had and shaped a decision out of it. He was as decisive choosing death as he was in choosing what articles got published. "Okay. I'll shoot you, when you die."_

* * *

"I'm sorry." Her light fell on the gun and she took it, the freezing metal a dead weight in her hand, "I'm so sorry."

Alice felt tears sting her eyes, "I tied you to the chair and I left you because I couldn't do it. You can't hear me, can't know I'm here. A scientist at the CDC told me that the human part doesn't come back and I know that now but, before...I thought I was murdering you. I couldn't do it but I'm here, Jon. I know this is the best way now." Her throat had a sore lump in it, making her words come out as sobs.

The journalist raised the gun, hand trembling.

"There's no cure. No nothing. I'm sorry I left you here like this on the pipe dream of some perfect cure. I came back though. Does that mean anything?" His shirt was stained grey from his rotting body. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. She could taste the death in the air. "I hope you're with Peter."

She did what he'd shown her in the office, how to turn off the safety and load a round into the chamber. Alice hadn't ever questioned why he owned the gun and now she wished she had because she never could. Dead. Death was a finicky thing. It slammed into you, at first, and you took years forgetitng how bad the impact was until all of a sudden it came back, hit you again, and you remembered how bad losing someone really was.

"I'm sorry."

The gunshot echoed around the room. Her ears screamed at the noise. Blood trickled from the hole in his ashy forehead.

"I finally came back." She whispered, "Please let that mean something."

Alice didn't have long to cry, for something thudded behind her and Alice spun with the light, looked for the source of it, but couldn't see anything and she panicked, wondering how many walkers had followed her into the building. She listened and realized they were footsteps, not the shamblings of a walker. Alice wondered if she was ready to shoot somebody as she shut off her flashlight and felt for the gun, hoping it had more ammunition.

A light blinded her. They'd turned it on and it was shining through the glass windows. Alice raised the gun again-

"Alice?" a voice growled and the glass door swung open. The figure lowered the light to point at the ground and she lowered the gun and raised her own flashlight to illuminate the dark figure. She sniffled to try and stop crying.

"Daryl." Her voice hiccuped, "I had to do it. I couldn't do it before but now I know that not doing it in the first place was the mistake."

She saw his silhouette shift. "Y'alright?"

"I will be."

Something started screaming. The flashing outside the office windows drew her attention. A car alarm. What had triggered it? The former journalist moved to the window, looking down, and saw the mass that each flash of the headlights illuminated. Walkers. A lot of walkers that hadn't been there before. Some were coming for the building, staring up at the lights in the window, and Alice quickly turned off the flashlight so she could more easily see the walkers illuminated in the yellow and white lights of the car.

"The gunshot." Alice had been so revolted by the idea of putting an axe in Jonathan's head that she'd never considered the noise of a gunshot in a silent city of walkers.

"Must be four, maybe five dozen of 'em." Daryl shut his light off too. "There another way out of this place?"

"The back access is alarmed and I don't have keys. Jonathan never had a reason to have those; that way's only for delivery staff."

"Jonathan, he the dead guy?" Alice cringed at the wording, not that it was wrong. She nodded.

"Prob'ly ain't got long 'fore that car runs out of battery," Daryl spoke easily when they were alone, she realized, and somehow managed to smile that he didn't seem to hate her.

Alice questioned something that she hadn't before. She rubbed her eyes to get rid of the tears. "Why are you even here? You thought I was just trying to stick around for protection last night. I'm not, by the way. Sure I'm with the group for protection but I didn't speak to you for that.."

He stayed silent and Alice knew that Daryl wouldn't come searching an office in the middle of the night for no good reason.

"Did you follow me?" Alice hadn't even noticed. She needed to shape up for this world. "Why?"

"Ya left a note sayin' if you weren't back then to leave. Thought ya'd…" he looked down to her hand, to where the gun was still in his grip. "Ya nearly offed yerself at the CDC."

"I'm not opting out." He'd noticed she nearly didn't leave. Alice wasn't surprised; he was an observant man. Still, he'd followed her here so that she wouldn't do something stupid. Clearly, he wasn't just another Merle. Merle would have followed her for one thing in particular, not that Alice was very well-endowed when it came to her womanly assets.

Outside, the walkers kept going for the car. Alice stood by the window, illuminated every few seconds by the light from the car. There were more walkers appearing, blocking the whole street. "If there are that many groups of walkers around here then the other direction will be blocked too."

"Goddamnit. Ain't no way we can wait it out. It'll take days an' by then the group will be gone, leave us jus' like they left my brother." Daryl moved quickly, storming away, and then back towards the window. He was pacing in the most aggressive way Alice had ever seen anybody do it. He'd swung his crossbow onto his back and Alice could just about see the dark outline of his body, the weapon sticking up, as he walked back and forth.

"They won't leave us, this is different. Besides, I know how we can get out of here." Alice turned back to the desk, to the body, and pushed down everything inside of her screaming no. "We have to pretend to be walkers."

"Ya insane?" he stopped pacing though and stood to face her. The moonlight was just slightly reflected in his eyes as he looked at her.

"We haven't got many options." Alice turned the safety off of the handgun before tucking it into the waistband of her pants like she'd seen Shane and Daryl do with their guns. The cold shocked her as it made contact with her warm skin.

Alice cupped her palm over the flashlight to limit the light before turning it on to see Jonathan's body. Her gut twisted. He was her friend. She'd failed him before and now she was going to destroy his corpse. She had to hope he'd understand.

"Can I borrow your knife?" she asked. Daryl stood beside her. He quickly understood what she wanted, saw the paleness of her face.

"I got it."

"I knew him. I should do it." Alice hadn't ever dissected anything in science class. She didn't know if she'd be able to do this, but she didn't want to make Daryl do it just because she couldn't. She knew she'd have to learn how to get things done.

"Ya already did what ya had to." He stepped past her to the body. Alice held the light so that he could see before turning away. The smell was putrid. It got worse with the first squelch of the knife going in. She thanked her body for Its strong stomach even as her throat tightened up. Alice took small breaths in to limit the smell.

"Should be good enough." the hunter said, stepping back.

Alice looked only at the open stomach and pretended she didn't know the man to whom the body belonged. After all, she'd seen walkers in worse conditions. The hunter pulled his vest off and rolled it up before shoving it into his waistband. Alice watched as Daryl dug his hands into the flesh and pulled out a gloop cupped in his hands.. She swore even he was grimacing as he rubbed the blood onto his shirt.

"'S fucked up." He said. Alice put the flashlight down, the light facing the ground, and tentatively reached forward. Her fingertips sunk into the red. It was as cold as the room around them. It was just a dead thing. Not a person.

Alice retched as the blood soaked through her shirt, her gagging noise the only sound other than the squelching of guts and the car alarm outside.

Although the substance was thick, enough was slick that it trickled from her hand and onto the floor. Alice rubbed the blood over the arms of her leather jacket and hoped to whatever might have been listening that it didn't make her sick. When she was done, blood ringed around her eyes and nose and mouth but not too close to them, and dripping from her jacket and her jeans and the bit of exposed t-shirt that was sodden with the blood, she reached across the body and pulled Jonathan's eyes closed.

That should have been the first thing she did.

The alarm was still screeching. Alice didn't know how long the dead would be outside before the alarm died. She reckoned that they wouldn't leave until another noise distracted them.

She stood up, ignoring the way she could smell and feel the blood shifting from her damp clothing. "We better go before this is all dried."

Daryl nodded and they both moved, going down the stairwell by touch alone. Alice's arm, half outstretched to feel the next bit of railing, would occasionally bump into Daryl and she'd panic at the feel of the blood and chunks before realizing it was just the hunter. Her chest felt tight and wouldn't expand.

At the bottom of the stairs, the figures of the walkers outside were hard to distinguish from the darkness during the moments between flashes of the car's headlights.

"How do you think we got here without running into them?"

"They musta been grouped up all together someplace. Reckon they wandered about and any stragglers just followed 'em like sheep." Daryl gestured with his finger in circles as though he was drawing out

"Don't kill any because that'll alert them. Just... walk with them and groan and try not to push."

The door was a pull from their side. Alice edged it open slowly while he held his crossbow, just in case. The walkers seemed too distracted to notice the slight movement, the alarm echoing around the street and the lights drawing them all into one spot. Alice stepped outside after Daryl had lowered his crossbow and went through. Alice edged the door slowly while he waited.

A walker stumbled up to the hunter. How smart really were they?

It sniffed at him, growls coming from its mouth, and Alice saw Daryl tighten his grip on the crossbow. She adjusted her grip on the hatchet that hung from her grip. She might need it after all.

She stumbled over to beside Daryl because if they turned on him, she would be there. This had been her idea and he'd followed her. No matter what, they either made it out of this or Alice went down with him. She ignored that the group would never know what had happened.

The walker shambled back towards the car alarm.

The pair walked together and into the throng of walkers around the alarm. There were others, milling about, that had missing limbs or just couldn't walk fast enough to join the massive clump. There had to have been hundreds of walkers filling the street. A whole population of people, dead walking and centering on that one spot. Alice followed Daryl as he walked. The dead were everywhere with pale, dead skin, but they just looked human save for the blood coating their mouths and the wounds ripped into them.

A group surrounded her. Alice stood deadly still, shaking, and tried to control the breathing that she could feel coming out of her mouth in audible breaths. The walkers didn't want her but they wanted to get past and if she moved with them she'd get trapped in the throng with the car. One groaned down her ear, it's dead breath blowing on her neck.

She was inside the group. She was inside the group of walkers and she covered in Jonathan's blood which was drying. She couldn't move.

The scent of death was powerful and Alice didn't know if it was from her or the living dead. She couldn't do it. Jenner had been right, it had been a mistake and-

A hand gently brushed into her elbow, pulling. Alice could just about make out a figure with a crossbow stuck to it's back. Each flash of the car lights illuminated his face and she could see the stripes of bloody war paint across it.

She staggered along with him once he'd dropped the grip. He stayed beside her, not in front, and they walked.

* * *

Alice threw her leather jacket off the moment they closed the door of the hiking store behind them. It was on the way back to the apartment and both had agreed that turning up, covered in blood, would scar the children and panic the group enough that they'd try and leave, running straight into the mass of walkers.

"You think there'll be some clothes in here?"

"Ain't like the dead came back and started stealing hiking gear."

"I sure wish they'd done that instead." She said, following the hunter through the aisles. She pulled a black hiking bag from a shelf as she followed him. "May aswell get something useful while we're here."

"Thought ya was scared of all this." Daryl kept his crossbow up, checking for walkers in the small store.

"I know it was stupid. I just… I had to. I guess I was so determined that I could ignore the fear." she said.

"Nearly got yerself killed." Alice stopped beside the minimal racks of female clothing, watching Daryl take the extra steps to the next aisle, and looked through her options. Fleeces, which would be useful, and boot socks and a bunch of winter gear that was too bulky to carry about. Alice grabbed a handful of clothes that seemed to be her size and suitable for the weather and shoved them into the bag. As an afterthought she grabbed a few pieces for Lori, not knowing if she'd like it but wanting to repay her for the clothes Alice had borrowed from her.

"Ya nearly done?" a voice barked over the aisle between them, "Best damn hurry up 'fore yer officer buddies start asking' questions."

"Stay over there. I'm changing now." Alice sent a look both ways to check that Daryl wasn't at either end of the aisle, before changing into a pair of black cargo pants and a grey fleece to combat the night chill. Alice used a spare t-shirt to wipe at the blood on her face and hands, trying to remove the red smears. She was about to pull her bloodied trainers back on when she saw the rows of proper leather walking boots. Alice was pulling a pair of brown boots on when Daryl called out again.

"Ya decent?"

"Yeah." The hunter appeared at the end of one aisle with his flashlight in hand. Alice couldn't help but smile at the shirt with the sleeves torn away. Wasn't he cold?

"I got some shit." He adjusted the hiking bag that hung over his shoulder, "You done?"

Alice finished tying the laces of the boots and stood up, yanking her own bag onto her shoulder. "We should get some first aid kits. Stores like this always have little travel ones. Then we can sneak back in and decide what to tell Rick and Shane in the morning."

* * *

They left in the morning. Alice was the last one to leave. She stood, keys in hand, and placed them into the lock without turning them. Something selfish in her shouted that she should stop anybody else entering the place but Alice knew that someone might need to shelter here one day.

Alice patted her hand against the pocket of the cargo shorts, feeling the wallet she'd filled with the photos from her apartment. She turned, with white morning light creating shadows in her eye sockets, and left home for the last time. Daryl gave her a short nod as she joined him on the stairs and they left.

* * *

"Alice." the voice caught her attention and snapped it upwards to the man sat opposite her. "You even listening?"

"I honestly don't care about your conquests of women, Shane. I get it, the dance teacher was hot-"

"I was askin' why you went for those supplies in the middle of the night. It was damn stupid."

Alice had been so wrapped up in remembering the last day her life that had been half normal that she'd stopped listened long before Shane had gotten his first sentence out. She felt the RV shake as it went through a pothole and scowled at the bottle on the table fell from the jolt.

"How the hell did you end up dragging the redneck out for something that stupid?"

"I had some business I needed to finish. Daryl just followed me out to see where I was going, what with him being so observant I guess he's a light sleeper too and he woke up."

"That business worth your life?"

"Probably not, but it felt like it was when I planned to leave. It's not like my office was even far from the apartment. I used to walk there and back for work."

"Damn stupid anyway." He muttered. "Can't be puttin' people at risk like that."

Alice took the opportunity to reach into the bag shoved under the table, digging through the clothes she'd scavenged at the shop and the ones she'd reclaimed from her closet to pull the heavy metal from within.

"I got this.' She placed it on the table, facing towards him, and the first thing he did was push the weapon so that it pointed towards the wall of the RV, "Nobody gets this but me, okay? It's important."

"Can you fire it?" He sounded interested now, his eyes focusing on the weapon.

"I know how to turn the safety off and that's about it. Could you teach me?"

He ran a hand through his black hair before he nodded, "Yeah. We can't fire it this close to the city but I can show you how to clean it." he paused, lowering his voice, "Keep quiet about it. Don't want Andrea getting any ideas with it."

Alice didn't consider that the man might have ulterior motives; Andrea's sanity was a threat. Alice was so sure in her own mind of her wanting to live that she didn't consider why Shane wouldn't mind her having a weapon if Andrea couldn't when she'd considered staying too.

"Thanks." Alice let Shane check that there wasn't a round in the chamber and that the safety was on before she buried the weapon back inside her bag, "You think Fort Benning will be any better than the CDC?"

"It's heavily defended, full of trained soldiers and ammunition. If anywhere is left standing it'll be there." Alice nodded, staring out of the window at the receding giants of the skyscrapers as they left the city behind. Wherever they went, Alice knew all she had was the group. The woman became incredibly aware that she would have to figure out how to fight for the people around her instead of running away.

The noise of Glenn and Dale laughing up front in the RV, the clicking of Shane taking his gun apart, the children laughing over the CB as Lori told them off, and the sound of a motorcycle filled her ears. Alice knew she'd do whatever she could to keep those noises going, no matter what.

* * *

 **A/N : So that's the start of part 2, Disunity. I know that the group goes to the Vatos hideout in the deleted scenes but I actually have a reason for them going to Alice's apartment. This is definitely a less plot-driven chapter as it's the lead in for things that will become relevant on the farm (specifically, the point of Alice finishing up unfinished business now rather than before she met Glenn) but it has quite a bit of Daryl interaction and is the day before they have to stop on the highway so the next chapter will have a lot to do with the first episode of season 2 and Sophia's disappearance.**

 **Thank you so, so much to everyone who's read this and especially if you've followed, favorited and/or reviewed the story. I am eternally grateful to you!**

 **Let me know if you enjoyed this chapter since the flashbacks are different to the rest of the story and keep an eye out for the next chapter.**


	8. 8 - Sod's Law

**Part 2 - Disunity**

 **8 - Sod's Law**

 _Warning: mentions of; underage drinking, drug use, and the death of a young person._

* * *

Something was screaming and hissing from the front of the RV. Alice wrapped an arm around her chest where the sudden stop had thrown her forward into the booth's table. The book she'd been holding, the cheesy romance novel that she was reading for the second time since leaving Atlanta, had slid forward, knocking the parts of Andrea's weapon to the ground.

Alice made her way to the front of the RV, standing behind the driver's seat. A cloud of steam was rising from the front of the RV. It didn't look good. There were cars everywhere, some sort of traffic jam where all the cars had been abandoned. There could be walkers anywhere in the mess, waiting or coming for them right then.

"Didn't I say it? We should have stopped and gotten a new hose yesterday in Atlanta. Instead, we camped on the road last night and now we're stuck." Dale was speaking to himself, annoyed at everyone or maybe just himself, but annoyed nonetheless.

Alice followed Dale out of the RV and onto the road. It was filled with dusty cars, maybe walkers. Alice worried about the figures she saw still sat in some.

She felt the heat hit her the moment she stepped out from the shadow that the RV cast. Alice had enjoyed the heat when they'd had air conditioners but now it was almost unbearable. She missed the months when she'd first gotten here when the temperature had slowly declined. Alice preferred the warmth to the cold, but to her, the Georgian heat was excessive.

Alice didn't think she'd ever get used to the thick heat. Of all the times the dead could have started walking it would be the summer when Alice couldn't cope with the heat that made the dead smell worse. "Of all the places to have the RV break down, it had to be where there's no shade or wind."

"Not used to the heat?" Glenn grinned.

"I swear it takes less heat than this to fry an egg." Alice wiped at her forehead, already starting to sweat in the warm summer air. She turned from Glenn, back to where Dale was looking fuming.

Dale was staring at the front of the steaming RV, looking defeated. "Didn't I say it? Dead in the water."

"Problem, Dale?" Shane asked, and Alice couldn't tell if he was genuinely asking or it was sarcasm. Could he not see the steam rising from the RV? Alice prayed that Dale could fix it because she wasn't sure she could deal with walking that hundred miles or so to Fort Benning.

"Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of-" Dale paused to look around them, at the mass of abandoned cars and trucks and whatever else, "Okay, that was dumb."

"If you can't find a radiator hose here..." Shane grinned, cocking his head to the side and turned to look at Alice, "I even bet you can find a battery-operated fan, stop your whining 'bout the heat."

"When it's raining and you can't deal, I'll remind you of this." Alice scowled, knowing full well that she was complaining the most about the heat. These people were all used to it, though. Most of them had lived through years of the hot Georgia summers.

"There's a whole bunch of stuff we could use here," Andrea added, looking at the decrepit cars as though they were an opportunity, not a nest of hidden walkers.

"I can siphon more fuel from these cars, for a start," T-Dog said, and before anyone had discussed it he was already moving to get their empty gas cans. Alice couldn't imagine siphoning petrol, tasting it in her mouth as she sucked on the tube. It made her feel a little sick.

Alice was reminded of her dry throat, thinking about finding water. They'd have to deal with it being lukewarm but right then all Alice wanted was some form of hydration that she didn't have to slowly sip and ration.

"This is a graveyard." Lori was stood with her hands on her hips, staring them down, and Alice knew that she was right. "I don't know how I feel about this."

"It's not like we're nicking anything." Alice said, "It's not stealing if the previous owner's long dead and gone."

Alice checked that her hatchet was in her belt before moving towards the closest car, intent on finding something useful; she didn't just want to be dead weight for the group.

* * *

"I know that this is it, that it's over, but do you ever wonder if we can fix it?"

"The hell do you mean?" Shane stood from where he'd been leaned into a trunk of a car, looking at her with squinted eyes. "We get to Fort Benning, get in a military safe zone. Heavily defended, full of supplies-"

"I don't know if Fort Benning is a good idea, not when no one's seen any signs of military presence since they bombed Atlanta. Maybe we could take out all the walkers. They have to fully decompose at some point, right?"

"They ain't exactly normal. Don't look like they rot as fast as normal dead," He said, shifting so that he sat in the trunk of the black range rover. Alice moved next to him, glad for the minimal shade that the trunk door provided.

"I know the walkers are a danger and all but, I think I'd actually be more chuffed if we could get a working shower," Alice said, the feeling of grime on her skin becoming all to familiar but never easy to deal with.

"Don't think that's happenin' anytime soon." He leaned his head to the side, letting out an audible breath of air as he smiled, "Now, I do know of a creek down there in those woods and I would be willing'-"

"You stop right there, Shane." He laughed, and it was such an honest laugh that Alice couldn't help but laugh harder.

She struggled to speak past the laughter, "You better at least invite Dale. He works so hard on watch all day, don't you think he deserves a little… relief?"

She saw the man himself looking over from the RV and she waved, smiling like they hadn't just been suggesting what they had. Shane looked down, grinning.

"We ain't ever repeating' these conversations to no one." He rubbed his forehead, "Ain't sure I'm gonna get the image of Dale and you naked outta my head anytime soon."

"Please don't think about me naked. I don't want to picture you, picturing that."

"You two havin' fun?" Alice looked away from her friend to see Rick, his hat protecting him from the sun and a small smile on his face.

"Just taking a break." she said, "You find anything useful?"

"Not much. Just clothes." The sheriff looked between the two, a smirk on his face, and Alice wanted to argue with him because she'd never go anywhere near the self-proclaimed womanizer.

"I found some batteries. We use the flashlights a lot, so if you see more of those then we can stash them in the RV." She filled the silence.

Rick nodded, taking his hat off to wipe his head, stalling for time while he thought of something to say, "Dale's still working on that hose. When he's done, I want out of here as quickly as possible. Doesn't feel right with this few walkers around."

"Well, with all this extra fuel we'll be able to double back and take the bypass that Glenn found. No point clearing these cars out of the way." she said.

"Hold on, we don't wanna go into that bypass blind. We don't know what's out there.." Shane added, and Alice found herself nodding along with the point. They didn't know what was in the bypass, but they didn't know how easy it would be to get through this pileup. The uncertainty of it all made Alice feel tense, imagining there were walkers everywhere. There probably were, just wandering around the woods.

"I'll talk to Dale and Glenn, see what they think. We can't risk the RV getting stuck in this overnight." Rick said, turning around. He glanced over his shoulder twice as he moved away, keeping his eyes on them.

Alice yawned as she stood, waiting for Rick to move out of earshot. "I'm buggered. I really hope Fort Benning has comfortable beds." She checked over her shoulder to see that they were alone before speaking, "Rick thinks we're gonna shag."

"What?"

"You see the way he was looking at us before? He definitely came over here to see what's up. At least we know that he probably doesn't suspect you and Lori."

"That doesn't matter anyway. Let me tell you somethin'," the officer had his forearm resting against the back of the red car now, towering over Alice. He cast a shadow over her as he leaned close. Shane lowered his voice, "I'm gonna leave this group. Slip away when nobody's watchin'. I ain't telling you to come but I would appreciate some company."

"You're leaving? Why?" Alice followed his gaze to Lori and Carol, "Oh. You still..."

"This group don't listen to me, don't respect me. She tells me to stay away from Carl, that is what she tells me, and then she gets upset 'cause I blow him off. I'm the odd man out."

"Where are you going to go?"

"Straight down to Fort Benning, leave these people in the dust. If that's gone then I reckon' the coast. Find a boat and head north where it's colder. "

"You think the cold will help?"

"They ain't pumpin' blood, I imagine it'll freeze them up." he said, shifting back, "Just think about it."

Alice liked the group, even with the drama, and she knew numbers were safer. Still, she couldn't let Shane go alone, and she didn't want to make him stay here with him and the group being so tense. "Just tell me when you're leaving. I'll come," she said.

"I appreciate that."

* * *

"Dale," Alice sat cross-legged on the RV, a stack of books before her, "I'm thinking that we keep some of these. They'll be good as tinder if they aren't good reading material."

"We need something to do that isn't worrying about survival. I think that it's a good plan." he said, looking down at her, "You should be careful with Shane."

"I'm not going to do anything with him, Dale. Trust me, he isn't my type."

"I don't mean that. I mean that he seems to belong in this world."

She looked up at him, seeing the way he looked down to her, concerned. She said, "So does Daryl if you look at it. He's good with hunting, and dealing with the walkers. Just depends on who you were before."

"Daryl's a good man. Shane... I suspect that he isn't too happy that Rick turned out to be alive. You did see him with Lori, didn't you?" Dale looked away from her, keeping his eye on the surroundings, "They used to both find reasons to be in the same area of woods, at the same time, before Rick returned."

"Ah, Dale the watchman. Can't get past your watchful eye." she said, "Don't say anything to Rick; it's not our place."

Alice saw Rick himself approaching the RV and threw Dale a warning glance, quickly grasping the closest book. "I got a book collection. People grabbed their books instead of their medicine, clearly."

"Lori and Carol have been sayin' they wish they had more books to-" he paused, and Alice followed his line of sight to Dale, who held his binoculars. Alice looked down the highway and saw what he was looking at. A couple walkers coming around the cars- no, a lot of walkers.

She looked down to Rick. He had his rifle pointed towards the walkers, probably couldn't see them all.

"For fuck's sake." she groaned, "Rick, don't. There's a lot of them down there, and if you fire that they'll know we're here."

He lowered his rifle, running back to the others, and Alice felt safe enough in letting Rick warn them that she flattened herself on the RV beside Dale, hoping they wouldn't see her, or him,

She could, if she raised her head a little, see the mass of walkers stumbling up to the RV. Were had everyone hidden? If someone got hurt... If someone got hurt, their screams would get everyone else killed. Alice hated herself for the selfish thought, but it was true. Alice held her breath. The dead banged against the RV, every stumble threatening to draw the walker's undivided attention to the RV.

That was a lot of walkers.

Alice waited for someone to scream, someone else they'd have to mourn. This time it might be her. Her arms visibly shook as she leaned her head onto them.

Why were there so many? Why were they all just... walking? They'd all stood in the street in the city, blocks filled with walkers everywhere. She hadn't seen them group up like this, other than the group drawn by the car alarm by her old office.

The RV shifted. A walker must have stepped inside of it. Alice lifted her head just enough to look back at Dale, who was looking down into the RV. She looked back to the road, saw that the walkers were thinning out. Even as the last couple of stragglers went by, her heart still pounded. The dead were still ambling through the cars, close enough to be drawn back or to find one of their living, breathing group.

The noise started. Faint, but Alice knew what it was. She looked at Dale, saw him dropping the screwdriver through the RV. Someone was inside of the damn thing and it didn't look like he had any more screwdrivers up here. Bollocks.

The walkers were still walking away, thank god, but just short of half a dozen had turned back at the noise. Alice considered them the luckiest idiots in the world that the whole lot of the dead hadn't turned around with them.

Alice would have waited, stayed there on that RV and let the dead do what they wanted, but she couldn't let them kill whoever was in the RV. She just couldn't, no matter how much she wanted to whimper and hide behind somebody and wait for someone else to deal with it all.

Pulling out her hatchet, she scrambled to the edge of the RV and took the ladder down as silently as she could. Her heart hammered at the idea of taking on four walkers alone. At least they were sort of spread out.

She didn't expect Dale to come down here, kind of hoped he wouldn't, because all he had was his rifle and he'd alert the whole lot of walkers.

She stalked around the RV, walking past the empty door to bring the hatchet down into the skull of the first walker.

It splattered blood onto her as she pulled the hatchet back, the brain matter and dark red liquid dripping from the blade. The next walkers, grouped up all in a three, groaned and shuffled that bit faster. Alice backed up, not knowing how to take them on. They wouldn't get tired, not like her. They couldn't feel the dizzying panic that Alice was feeling.

She looked up, but she couldn't see Dale and whoever was in the RV was still making noise.

Alice would have hidden in the RV, but pinning herself between one walker- two, if whoever was inside had been bitten to death- and the other three seemed like a stupid idea so she stopped just before the RV door, reaching with her free hand to close it. She heard something inside and hoped it wasn't walkers.

The closest walker's neck felt like dried jerky as she put a hand on it, holding it back. She gagged at the smell of its breath, bringing the hatchet in sideways and crushing the side of its skull in. Alice blinked as blood splattered across her cheek and neck.

She yanked the hatchet back and feeling a trickle of blood run down the handle and over her hand. When the dead walker was on the ground she stepped over its body, reaching out for the next walker. The hatchet came down, it's blade cracking through an already-damaged skull.

Alice's heart throbbed as the last walker reached for her, fingers brushing her arm, and she pulled back at her hatchet but the handle was slick with blood. Her hand slipped off, the corpse falling to the ground.

Weaponless, she moved back quickly. Her feet caught something - the body behind her, the one she'd bloody stepped over.

Alice was on the floor before she understood, her head slamming into the floor, the walker on top. Her back was stinging from the impact.

Her hands landed on the walker's forehead and under its jaw, pushing and trying to keep its mouth closed. Her head swam from shock. She kept pushing, but her already-sore arms started to give, violently trembling as she kept pushing. Its face was a couple inches from her and Alice still didn't have a plan on how to stop it. She could see it's milky white eyes, moving about wildly as guttural noises came from its neck.

Her bloody hand slipped down to its neck and the walker's jaw opened, teeth moving to her neck.

Movement, and then a crunch. Alice felt the walker's force give way, it's animated face suddenly going slack. and shoved, the walker rolling over beside her. She saw Andrea, who looked upside-down from where Alice lay amongst the walker bodies. Rubbing the back of her hand over her forehead and smearing the walker blood across it, Alice heaved for air despite the tangy rotted smell in her lungs.

"Fuck me." she breathed, "Thanks."

Her limbs shook as she drew her knees up, turning and slowly standing. Her head and back throbbed with a dull pain that would probably bruise. Alice's fingers tenderly touched the back of her hair, the area sore to the touch. Alice sucked in a sharp breath as she prodded the area, where her head had smacked into the ground.

Andrea reached for the walker she'd killed, pulling a screwdriver from its skull. Alice looked up at Dale, who was scrambling down the ladder of the RV, and she let her weight rest on the side of the vehicle for a moment. With the adrenaline dying, the fear and exhaustion were hitting her.

"Sod's law, that was." she smiled, despite the way her chest violently rose and fell, "Today just isn't going well at all."

"Sod's law?" Dale asked, looking concerned.

"If something can go wrong, it will go wrong," Alice said, her words punctuated by breaths. Alice knew she had to stay calm and work on her cardio because she sounded like she'd run a marathon or something. Alice really wished that she'd stuck to those New Year's Resolutions of going to the gym.

Alice looked to Andrea, who looked shaken as well, and told her, "It's alright. All the walkers have fucked off, we'll be alright."

"It's not that." Andrea scowled, "I could have been torn apart back there and that's the one thing I wanted to prevent."

The blonde sent Dale a dirty look before moving herself, ignoring them both as she went inside the RV to carry out the walker's body. Alice saw blood pooling around her boots as it leaked from the walker's split skulls. She stepped away, leaving bloody footprints on the tarmac.

"She's angry that I got her to leave the CDC. She was killing herself-" Dale began.

"She'll come to. Just let her adjust to this screwed up world." Alice turned, hearing more noise, and saw Daryl pulling T-Dog along. Blood was spurting from T-Dog's arm, "Oh bloody hell. Is he bit?"

"Damn idiot cut it open when the walkers came through," Daryl grunted, and Alice wrapped an arm around T-Dog's side, helping him hold his arm up while he kept one hand pressed on the wound. She couldn't see anything in the cut, but he was bleeding a lot and her first thought was that he could go into shock from blood loss.

"T, I need you to lie down for me. Keep your hand pressed on the cut, just like that," she said, pulling him away from her pile of walkers so that they were behind the RV. Turning to the other two, she said, "Dale, I need you to go and get me a bunch of cloth, quickly, and one of those camping chairs."

She turned back to T-Dog, him now on the ground, and kneeled down before raising his feet so they were elevated and resting on her hips. She made sure he was keeping his arm up and keeping the pressure on it, "Daryl, you remember the first aid kits we got? I need those now, and some of that water that Shane found."

By the time Daryl was moving away, Dale was back and Alice quickly moved, "Dale, I need you to prop his legs up with the camping chair, just like I was just then.

Alice moved beside T-Dog. He was already looking pale, and she pressed the cloth to his wound. She could feel the slickness of his blood on his skin and taste the metal in the air. Human blood was so much different to walker blood. Alice hadn't ever seen this much, and she'd never been queasy but she felt it now as she thought about the deep wound ripped into T-Dog's muscles.

"Man, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die from a goddamn car door." T-Dog was blabbering, shaking his head.

"Help me keep the pressure on this, T-Dog. You aren't going to die 'cause I won't let you. I'm trained in first aid, just help me out here." she said, and T-Dog nodded before using his other arm, reaching over and clasping his hand around the cloth.

She saw Daryl, a bottle of water in one hand and two of the red first aid kits in the other. She smiled, "Thanks."

She moved her hands, letting T-Dog keep the pressure on the wound, and opened the first aid kit. Pulling on the rubber gloves, she looked to Daryl who was awkwardly stood by, "Keep an eye out for walkers, make sure we're safe."

She peeled the cloth away from the wound, tossing it aside before grabbing the water. Alice spoke to T-Dog as she ran the water over the cut, trying to clean it out. "Those walkers were weird, right?"

"Was like a damn herd or somethin'." He said. He cringed as Alice dabbed at the wound. She was glad most of the bleeding was stopping, which meant one of those important arteries that kill you in three minutes hadn't been hit.

"You might need blood but I don't know. You can have mine if you do, I'm a universal donor."

"Look at me, got a fancy British doctor lookin' after me." T-Dog grinned, "Ain't I just blessed?"

"Yeah well, wait until someone has to stitch you up," she muttered.

"The hell's the chair for?" Daryl asked, Dale quietly stood beside him.

"One-third of your oxygenated blood is in your legs but you haven't got organs in your legs, so it's better to make sure that blood is going to your heart and lungs." Alice sat back, letting T-Dog support his own arm up like she'd always been taught to. She'd never actually had to use her first aid since learning it and now it felt all too real. First aid was supposed to be a preparation for the ambulance team, not full-on medical care.

"It's lucky we have you. I would have used some cloth and duct tape." Dale laughed, "What can we do?"

"Right now, we need to find someone who's good at sewing because this is going to need stitches." T-Dog was frowning at that, and Alice felt bad for him. She couldn't imagine getting literally sewn up with no painkillers. Alice's training had relied on being able to call 999 or 911 for things like stitches and shock and she couldn't do that anymore. That was scary. "Dale, can you stay with T? Keep him awake and speaking to people. I want to make sure everyone's okay."

"Sure thing," Dale said, taking her place sat beside T-Dog.

"You coming?" she asked Daryl, striding towards the grassy area where she'd seen everyone gather earlier.

"Ya got blood," he grunted, striding beside her, and Alice looked into the side mirror of the closest car to see the blood she'd smeared across her face and the blood that was splattered over her white vest.

"Perfect look for the end of the world, don't you think? I should be front page of the apocalypse fashion magazine."

He made a noise that sounded like it might have been a short laugh, though with Daryl you could never really know, and Alice found herself smiling as they approached everyone gathered at the highway barrier. The smile didn't last long.

"Daryl," Rick began, and Alice saw everyone looking positively distraught behind him. She started trying to work out who was dead, "Me, Shane and Glenn are goin' into the woods to find Sophia. She was runnin' from some walkers and I killed them but she musta gotten lost on her way back to the highway. You think you could track her, see where she went?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Daryl shifted, pulling his crossbow from his shoulder, and Alice felt her heart drop as the two men walked away, joining Shane and Glenn. The foreigner made her way to Carol who was clearly distraught. Sophia was in the woods alone, the same ones that Alice reckoned were full of walkers.

"They'll bring her back." Alice said, "Daryl can track, and Sophia isn't going to be hiding her tracks. They will find her."

"My baby, she's out there all alone. What if a walker finds my baby first?" The foreigner had no way to fix this and it hurt.

Alice let Lori hold the woman, her gut hurting. They couldn't lose anybody, especially not a child. Alice had seen a few child walkers, even seen children be shot on that video and that was terrible, but this was somehow worse. She'd just gotten out from under her abusive father, apocalypse or no, and she didn't deserve to die. Not when she hadn't even had the chance to be something more than what her father made her be.

"I've got to check back on T-Dog," she said, turning away and wondering how she could help the search.

* * *

Alice stared at the arsenal of weapons laid out before Dale, the set that Carl had brought over.

"We could arm everyone," she said, eyeing up the brand-new black hatchet. "People could take out walkers quietly."

"That's a good plan," Dale replied, and the pair sent T-Dog a glance. He was rifling through the trunk of a car, one arm slinged to his chest and the other trying to compensate. "We're going to need to get that stitched up."

"No one has a needle or thread," Alice said, rolling the set of weapons up and taking them off the hood of the car. "You think it'd be okay if I take this new axe? Mine's still in a walker's skull."

"I think you'll be fine to take it," Dale said, and Alice slipped the hatchet from the pack and tucked it into her belt. It was heavy but Alice liked the feel of it. It felt reassuring.

"On that note," Dale began, "I'm going to collect all the guns. I don't think we should risk people pretending they're some sort of gangster or superhero and drawing another herd of walkers."

"Good idea," she mumbled, the gun inside her bag weighing on her mind. Shane wanted to keep it a secret, and Alice wasn't quite ready to part with it. It was Jonathan's gun, and he was dead now. She knew it was unfair, but she stayed silent.

* * *

"Or, you can give it back to me." Alice heard Andrea's sharp voice, saw her speaking to Dale. She walked towards them and became aware of Shane doing the same. She watched him, hands in his pocket and scuffing his boots along the floor as he moved towards them. He looked reluctant to get involved and she couldn't blame him.

"Everything cool?" Shane asked, at the same time that Alice stopped beside him and Andrea. Everyone was washed in an orange glow from the setting sun, the kind of

"No, I want my gun back," Andrea said, and Alice felt the guilt of her own gun. Hadn't Andrea's dad given her that gun? She deserved to have the memento.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Dale added, and Shane turned on him too. He was surrounded by the pair, both scowling down at him.

"Why not?" Shane's voice was clipped, and Alice decided to let Dale explain himself.

"I'm uncomfortable with it," Dale said. Alice cringed, thinking it was the worst thing he could have said.

"Gunshots will draw walkers. I'm not planning on ringing the dinner bell, are you?" she said, brushing the escaped strands of hair behind her ears. Still covered in blood, minus her face, Alice was aware that she probably looked insane. She just hadn't had the time or the privacy to rinse off and change.

"The less guns we have floating around camp, the better." Shane agreed.

Andrea scoffed, and Alice couldn't tell whether she hated the woman or liked her because she'd saved her life, "You turning over your weapon?"

Shane laughed at the question, "Nah, but I'm trained in its use. That's what the rest of y'all need, proper training. But until that time I think it's best that Dale keeps them all accounted for,"

Andrea walked off, huffing, and Alice tuned out Dale and Shane as Glenn stopped beside her with a basket of supplies.

"You find any chocolate?" she asked and Glenn smiled despite the futility of the question.

"Nothing edible after cooking in these cars for days." Glenn said, but then stopped smiling, "Oh god, they're back,"

Alice saw Rick and Daryl emerging from the side of the highway. They'd stayed out long after sending Shane and Glenn back, but Alice saw that their extra time had been useless. Sophia wasn't with them.

"You didn't find her?" Carol cried, and Alice found herself chewing at her fingernail before stopping, an old stress habit she'd never quite managed to break.

"Her trail went cold. We'll pick it up again at first light." Rick reassured her, but Alice didn't fail to see the blood on his shirt.

"You can't leave my daughter out there on her own, to spend the night in the woods." Carol whimpered, and Alice understood the fear. It'd be pitch black, nothing but walkers out there, and Sophia would be cold and scared and Alice hated it but she didn't have the first clue on how she could fix it. She didn't know how to make Carol's pain any less, or how to help Sophia, or how to do much at all and it was terrifying.

"Out in the dark's no good," Daryl said, looking more sympathetic than she'd ever seen the hunter be. "We'd just be tripping over ourselves. More people get lost."

"But she's just a child." Carol whimpered. Alice stepped forward, trying not to look like a complete idiot.

"They can't do much in the dark." she said, crouching down beside the woman, "But I found colored tape before. I can go lead that from here down to the wherever Rick left her so if she finds the tape then she can follow it back. We got a little while before complete dark to do that."

"But she's twelve. She can't be out there alone." Carol stood, approaching Rick, "You didn't find anything?"

"I know this is hard but I'm asking you not to panic. We know she was out there." Rick said, moving his hands as though he could push down the rising levels of panic in the group.

"And we tracked her for a while," Daryl added, and Alice smiled at the soft tone of his voice.

"We have to make this an organized effort. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody, I've asked him to oversee this." Rick continued, but he stopped at Carol's rapid breathing. Alice worried that she was having a panic attack and stepped forward, but she pointed to Daryl's legs.

"Is that blood?"

"We took down a walker." Rick said, and when Carol started looking back and forth and swaying and crying, he continued, "There was no sign it was every anywhere near Sophia."

"How can you know that?" Andrea asked, and Alice turned around and considered slapping her. The old her would have, but she calmed herself.

"Can we keep the distress-inducing questions to a minimum, please?" she said more than asked, staring at Andrea.

"Somebody has to ask," Andrea said, and Alice narrowed her eyes but was distracted by Daryl.

"We cut the sombitch open. That's how we know." Daryl said. Alice imagined the pair gutting a walker, and hoped and prayed that they'd at least worn gloves. She imagined neither of them had worked in the morgue for a reason, and thay reason was probably not wanting to handle dead bodies.

Carol sat down with Lori, "How could you just leave her out there?"

Alice stood, shocked, as Carol had a go at Rick. From what she'd been told, Rick leaped that fence and ran empty-handed after two walkers to save Sophia.

"I had no choice..." Rick said, but Carol wasn't listening. Rick walked away, down the highway, and Alice didn't blame him. He'd done all he could.

"You want me to take you down to the creek, put that tape up?" she turned to see Daryl and nodded.

"Please."

* * *

The woods were darkening by the second, and Alice started imagining figures in the trees as she pulled the reel of tape along.

"You were really nice before, to Carol, and spending all day looking for Sophia."

"Little girl goes missing, you look for her. It ain't a hard decision," he muttered, holding his crossbow in case a walker appeared. Twigs and plants crunched and snapped under her feet, but Daryl's steps were silent and Alice felt like an elephant.

"Just because it's an easy decision doesn't mean you shouldn't be commended for helping," she said, looping the red tape around a tree before continuing on, unraveling it.

"Like what ya did with T-Dog? Ya prob'ly saved his life." Daryl said, "How'd ya know how to do all that? Thought you was a writer or somethin'."

"Journalist." she said, "I learned first aid after... after a friend died and she didn't have to die."

"'m sorry," he said.

Alice realized that she wanted to be real with Daryl, "I was a shithead. From the age of fifteen, we were getting smashed- er, drunk- in parks and dodgy estates. Wasn't really a reason, we were just arseholes who thought it was fun or whatever. This one time... My best friend, Hannah, she drank a little too much and she passed out and we let her sleep and I guess she... choked on her own vomit. I didn't know to put her in the recovery position when she passed out, or to do CPR when her heart stopped, so I learned first aid to try and feel better about myself. Never stopped feeling guilty about it, though."

"Ain't ya fault." he said, "When Merle was home, I wasn't much better, 'cept Merle loved his drugs and I used to think my big brother was a damn god so I was all hooked on them, too."

"Were you with Merle before this?" she asked.

"Yeah. He was out of jail for awhile an' we were just livin', travelin' from motel to motel and hopin' we could steal or work fer enough to get a room." his voice was quieter, and Alice kinda thought he might have been ashamed.

"Did you like it, living like that?"

"Nah. Couldn't leave Merle, though." he said, "S'pose the travelin' wasn't too bad, but it was tirin' and we didn't ever leave Georgia."

Alice could see the creek in the dying light, and she listened as Daryl said, "This is where Rick left her. It's her only landmark so she ain't gonna go far from it."

Alice clutched a tree as she climbed down into the creek, her boots splashing as she crossed, pulling the line of tape and she reached up, wrapping it around the closest tree on the opposite bank. She ripped it with her teeth, tying a knot in the tape to keep it there. The flies in the water flew around her and Alice swatted at them, getting irritated

"So she can't walk past it if she's following the creek," Alice explained, walking back. The water was slowly seeping into her boots as it splashed over the tops, but the boots were mostly waterproof. She was reaching for a tree to climb back out of the creek when Daryl leaned forward, offering a hand.

She took it, feeling the callouses on his palm, and let him pull her up as she stepped up the mud wall.

"Let's head back," she suggested, feeling a heat in her cheeks that she hoped the sunburn would hide. The sun was set and Alice found herself relying on the tape and the silhouette of Daryl to find her way back. Sophia was out in this darkness, alone and scared, without a Daryl to guide her back. Even with that horrible image, Alice couldn't bring herself to call for Sophia, not when shouting would draw walkers through the darkness to them.

* * *

The night swarmed them as they climbed back to the highway There were tons of little midget flies flying around them and attacking them. Though not as many as around the creek, there were a lot of them on account of the bodies within the abandoned cars.

"You got a minute?" Alice saw Shane stood outside the RV, and nodded to Daryl who made himself scarce. Daryl didn't like Shane, and Shane didn't like Daryl. Whatever their problem, Alice just hoped they'd keep it civil before the group fell apart.

"What's up?" she asked, following him as he started moving from the RV and the car, and where Dale stood on watch atop the RV.

His voice was low, "You still got that gun or does Dale?"

"I do. I should-"

"Keep ahold of it." Shane interrupted, "We might need it, and we ain't gonna have much luck defending ourselves if all the guns are with Dale, are we?"

"This group is full of bickering. I know I contribute to it but still, we can't just lie. This isn't like Big Brother where it ends in a couple weeks, this is for... who knows how long. We have to get along because right now everything is going tits up." Alice flapped her hand about, trying to swat the flies that seemed intent on landing all over her skin.

"We gotta lie. You know other people could become a threat and Rick and Dale, they ain't got the balls to do what we got to. You know that."

Alice looked up at Dale, who was watching their conversation with interest. It felt wrong, lying, but Shane was sort of right.

"And if we leave this group, they won't give us any guns so we gotta keep it to defend ourselves," he added.

Everything had gone wrong that day, and Alice didn't want leaving herself defenseless to be the cherry on top of a monumentally shite day. "I won't say anything, but don't be a twat and do something stupid."

"I'm the only sensible man in this whole damn group," Shane said, but Alice couldn't forget what Dale had said about Shane not being too happy about Rick's return. It was all rubbish, of course. Shane himself had told her about how much he respected Rick, even before the man had come back. He wouldn't betray his partner.

* * *

 **a/n : I know this chapter took a little while, but I had so many different iterations of Sophia disappearing and some things for down the line that it took a lot of rewrites, not to mention Christmas obligations. Merry Christmas (belated) and a Happy New Year to everyone reading!**

 **As for iterations, I will definitely say that some things will go down differently and some things will go down the same way throughout the story, so let me know what you think of plot changes. Don't worry, nothing crazy like the farm actually being a secret lab to cure the whole world will happen.**

 **As always, thank you guys for reading, following, faving, and reviewing, and let me know what you thought!**


	9. 9 - He's My Brother

Part Two - Disunity 

9 - He's My Brother

 _Disclaimer: it's been a long time, so I'll add this again. I don't own anything from TWD, characters, plot or setting. Alice Lockwood is my own OC but everything else is owned by Robert Kirkman / AMC._

* * *

Her eyes squinted against the bright morning sun. The weather was good, but Alice couldn't appreciate it past the way the sun made her sleep-deprived eyes sting. She'd stayed awake, thinking about Sophia, for a long time.

"You going to be alright with T-Dog and Carl?" Alice asked, standing beside Dale in the shade of the RV. Her skin was tinted a sore pink, despite the suncream that she'd layered over herself. She was running out of it, too, and Alice dreaded to think about the burns she'd get from hiking in this heat.

"We'll be okay. Our concern is finding Sophia before something else does," Dale kept his voice low so that no one else could hear them, "You keep an eye on yourself, and Andrea."

"Will do, Dale." she said, checking that the new ax was in her belt and her boots were tied properly, "Just be careful on this motorway- er, highway. I don't want you being taken by surprise by some dead twats. Keep a close eye on Carl. That boy is bound to be trouble."

"The three of us will be just fine. You worry about yourselves out there."

"Will do." Alice turned and found a car to look through, ignoring the child's pink backpack and the baby bottle that lay abandoned on the ground. After a couple minutes of digging through a suitcase, she noticed the figure that rested against the car beside her.

"I figured you'd be stayin' on the highway. Keep an eye on T-Dog."

Alice didn't turn from the suitcase she was rifling through, "I'm not a doctor, Shane. I just know some first aid. He needs stitches and antibiotics to stop any infections." The ever-present heat changed from the still, thick air of the car's interior to the direct heat of the sunlight as she withdrew from the vehicle, "Did we find antibiotics?"

"Not that I know of." Shane had his shotgun resting in his arms, ready to go, but he shifted that to one arm as he pulled his brown sheriff's deputy basketball cap from where it protruded out of his pocket, holding it out, "You don't wanna get sunstroke or nothin'."

"I look that bad?" Alice smiled as she pulled cap on, pulling her ponytail through the back, "Thanks."

"We're leavin' in ten. You ready to go?"

Alice nodded, straightening her black vest where it had ridden up at the back. Her attention was drawn from Shane to the woodline where a figure, Daryl, stalked out. A small smile crossed her face and she bid her goodbyes to Shane before walking over.

"You see anything?" she called, and the hunter paused his walk and slung his crossbow over his shoulder as she approached.

"Nawh. The trail from yesterday's still there. Faint." The woman stopped just before him with her head tilted upwards to look at his face from under the cap, "You comin' on the search?"

"Yeah, I'm coming. All I want is to find that little girl and get off this motorway," she said, "Do you think we've got half a chance of finding her?"

"She can'ta gone far, 's only Senoia." Daryl's blue eyes studied her, "We're sure as hell gon' find that little girl."

"I hope so," Alice said. A loud thud caught both their attention's. Rick had dropped a pack of weapons across the hood of a long off-white car that Alice didn't know the name of.

"Everybody takes a weapon," Rick said. Alice thumbed the handle of the hatchet attached at her waist.

Andrea raised a brow, "These aren't the kind of weapons we need".

Alice rolled her eyes, "I saved your arse just fine with an ax yesterday, didn't I?"

"And nearly got eaten in the process." Andrea said, "We need guns." Some part of Alice wanted to confide in Andrea, to tell her that she wouldn't always want to die, but she was hesitant. The lawyer wouldn't let even let Dale into her business, nevermind the foreigner she'd barely spoken to.

"Haven't we been over that?" Shane said, "Daryl, Rick and I are carryin'. Can't have people popping' off rounds every time a tree rustles."

"It's not the trees I'm worried about," Andrea said, and Alice ignored the impulse to yell at her. She was acting like a child who'd had their favorite toy taken off of them. She understood the fear but she was more scared of a herd than one walker at that moment.

"Say somebody fires at the wrong moment," Shane began, banging his foot against the RV as his voice got louder, "maybe a herd happens to be passin' by. See then it's game over for all of us, so you need to get over it."

"The plan is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side. Chances are she'll be by the creek; it's her only landmark." Daryl seemed confident, yet he failed to hide the way he squirmed under everyone's gaze. The redneck wasn't used to so much attention, and especially not from people who'd been standup folks before all this.

* * *

"I gotta go, Dale." Alice stood, making towards the ladder to get off of the RV. The group was all picking up their gear and any second now Rick would call for them to leave.

"Just one thing," Dale lowered his voice, causing Alice to stop and "Keep an eye on Shane. That man is dangerous. He's gotten used to this world far too quickly for my liking."

"Come on, Dale." Alice shook her head, "He has a lot going on. So do the rest of us."

"I'm just worried that if they don't find Sophia today then people are going to want to move."

Her brows drew together as she took in what Dale had to say, "We aren't leaving Sophia unless we've found her, which we will. Most of this group isn't going to dispute that. They won't be able to live with leaving a little girl out in those woods if they aren't sure she's dead."

"I hope you're right," his eyes glinted, and Alice gave him a last look before climbing down the ladder.

* * *

Alice was bored of walking. Her heels were sore, her thighs ached and her backpack felt so heavy that her shoulders had begun to slump under the weight. None of that had stopped her sprinting beside the group at the sound of church bells.

So, it was only more demoralizing that the church didn't have a spire, and Alice could bet that the bells were from a speaker. No one was hand-ringing them. A church near her apartment had been the same, an annoying bell that blared from speakers every Sunday morning. Alice wasn't religious enough to ever attend.

"It's gotta be the wrong church, it doesn't have a spire." Shane was shouting, "Rick, it doesn't have a spire. No bells."

"He's right, it's probably an automatic speaker system." Alice called, "They're pretty common nowadays."

Rick, Daryl, and Shane ran up to the doors despite, and Alice just caught a glimpse of the walkers sat on the pews before the three men crept inside. The sight sent chills down her spine. Most walkers wandered around instead of sitting still, waiting for prey.

She hung back, eyes on the wood line. The point that Sophia may have heard those bells was still true, but walkers were just as likely to have heard them. She heard Rick scream Sophia, just before the bells started ringing again. Loud and right beside them. Alice ran around the side of the building, the others catching up with them, to below a speaker.

"Timer. It's on a timer." Daryl panted.

"This is kind of a positive, though," Alice said, and everyone turned to look at her. She cringed under the attention, worried that what she was about to say could all be bullshit, "We know it's Sunday now, and that bell has been ringing at least once a week for the last two months. Yet, there are no walkers around the church. "

"An' what?" Daryl growled, "None a' this is-"

"So-" Alice interrupted him, "These woods are pretty deserted. I mean, no walkers grouped up here, and all those living animals running around that we keep seeing? Sophia has some good chances to avoid them."

She thought she saw Carol's eyes brighten, just a little, but the woman still looked distraught and Alice didn't have any more to say. She just hoped that what she'd said had given her some hope.

"I'm gonna go back in for a bit," Carol said, and Alice looked away. She didn't know how to fix this, how to find Sophia.

* * *

The group started dispersing and Alice found herself stood alone. So she walked away from the church, to the closest gravestones, and crouched down before the first she got to. A plain stone one, with the name 'Frederick Lehane, 08.02.34 - 30.12.04' engraved with a faded golden paint.

"You didn't have to see any of this." She said and ran her fingers over the engraving. 'Loving husband, father, and grandfather'. Which meant Frederick had family who were alive, at least Before. It was easy to forget how many billions of people died when this all started.

The journalist shook the thoughts away and stood, gazing at the treeline as though Sophia might skip through it.

They'd been at the church for less than a half hour when Shane walked over to the rest of the group, saying 'Y'all are gonna follow the creek back, kay, Daryl you're in charge. Me an' Rick are just gonna hang back, search this area another hour or so. Just be thorough. "

"You're splittin' us up." Daryl inclined his head forward in surprise, "You sure?"

"Yeah, we'll catch up to ya." Shane affirmed.

"I could stay here, at the church." Alice butted in, "If Sophia heard those bells then she could be heading in this direction. I can head back with you two when you circle back."

"I'm not sure that that is a good idea." Shane said, "We don't need another person goin' missing'."

"There's no walkers around here. It's fine. Get someone else to stay or don't, but I can't imagine Sophia running towards those bells like I was and no one being here." Alice was stubborn, even if staying here at the church meant putting herself at risk.

Rick and Shane looked each other before Rick said, "Just be careful. We don't know what's out here. If anythin' happens, hide away inside."

"I wanna stay too. Go with you and Shane, dad. She was my friend." Carl said. Alice grimaced as Lori looked at Carl, then at Rick, who looked at Shane and then back to his wife. A messy circle of glances before Lori said, "Ok. Just be careful, ok?".

Alice fought a smile as Lori hugged her son, saying "When did you start growin' up?"

As Rick and Lori hugged goodbye, Alice saw Shane staring and she stepped before him, putting a hand on his arm, "You gonna be ok out there?"

"I'll be fine." He scowled, "You shouldn't be puttin' your life on the line for a little girl that's already dead."

"You don't know that, Shane, and don't let anyone catch you saying that." Alice felt anger in herself, "You need to have some hope."

"This search 's jus' gonna get someone hurt." He scowled. Alice noticed the rest of the group were beginning to walk away and raised a hand to wave when Daryl glanced back. He moved his head in what might have been a returned goodbye before continuing onwards.

"We're not in much danger here," Alice said, "Other than those three in the church we've seen a grand total of two walkers in these woods. You think it's that dangerous?"

Shane rolled his eyes, "An' if a group of walkers does happen to come down to the church, or even some people? What'cha gonna do?"

"I'm only gonna be sat at the church; I won't be trekking through the woods alone. If there's a herd, I'll just hide. I can't see people being in these woods."

"Anything' happens, you don't hesitate. You do what you gotta do. Turn them bells on or somethin', I'll come running'."

"What, with Carl?"

"Just me. Ain't puttin' that boy in any more danger." Shane paused before reaching a hand to his back and pulling out his pistol. He held it out, "It's ain't got a safety switch, but it does have safety mechanisms, here in the trigger, to make sure you don't accidentally discharge a round. All you gotta do is pull the trigger. Just like your gun."

"You need this, Shane."

"I got my shotgun, an' Rick. Ain't comin' back here to you dead or worse. You just make sure you don't pull that trigger an' make all that noise unless it's life or death. You hear me?"

Their conversation was interrupted by Rick leaving the church, and Alice nodded to the pair as Rick took Carl's hand.

Rick met her eyes, "If something happens-"

"I'll head back. I know the way, kinda." Rick didn't look reassured, "I can sit in a church and wait for Sophia, Rick. Don't look at me like I'm useless. Last thing we need is her running right under our noses."

He nodded, and glanced down at Shane's gun in her hand but said nothing, "We'll be about an hour, searching' that way." He said, gesturing with his free hand to the woods, "Gonna try and circle to the right, too, if we got the time."

Alice nodded and took a seat on the steps of the church as they walked away. She figured making regular laps around the church, keeping an eye out, would be enough. She pulled the pack of cigarettes she'd snatched from the highway out of her pants pocket and turned it over and over in her hand, studying it. She'd quit three years ago and had managed to avoid giving in to the cravings ever since, but this world was a whole other basket. She didn't think she'd even live long enough to see the effects of it now.

She sighed and shoved the pack back into her pocket. It was just nice to have the option there.

* * *

Later, after a lap around the church, and at the sight of Rick, Shane and Carl disappearing into the forest, Alice stepped inside the church and walked to the front, taking a position on a pew. Alice rested her face against the cool skin of her clasped knuckles.

"I know I never had Faith and I don't deserve your help or mercy, but I'm not asking for me. This group - they don't deserve this." Alice took a long breath, "I'll do anything, give anything, to keep them alive. Keep them from all this pain. None of them deserve it."

She was about to stand when another thought came to her mind, "I know I already owe you one for saving my life when I was nineteen, I mean, that was basically a miracle. But I just one more thing. I need you to protect these people. " She stood, "Uh, amen."

Alice took one last look at the glossed figure of Jesus, at the walkers on the floor still dressed in their church best. Had they all come to their God when they'd been bitten and awaiting the end? She wondered what it was like, to know your unstoppable death was coming in mere hours. An incurable end that would lead to you becoming a woman shook the thought off. Being torn apart would be worse, definitely, and she had no desire to experience either of the ways to die.

Alice took her leave, and began a second walk around the church. Nothing had changed in the cemetery. The thought of Sophia appearing out of the woods, and the woman being able to take the little girl home to her mother caused a brief smile to cross Alice's face. Then, she crushed it. No point daydreaming about unlikely outcomes.

She still wasn't sure why she'd volunteered to stay instead of suggesting that someone else do it, but she had. Strangely, Alice didn't feel scared around the church. There weren't any walkers drawn by the bell from the past, and none seemed to be drawn there now. This area was empty of them. That thought brought her peace. Even if the world was over, there were still places of refuge. Places to build a home.

The woman was halfway through her lap of the church when she heard it. The gunshot. Alice whipped around, facing the direction that the officers and the boy had gone. She was confused, waiting for a second shot. Surely, they wouldn't risk a single gunshot, even in such an isolated place. She thought for only a second longer before she took off running.

* * *

Alice managed to find it in the woods not too far from the church. The dead deer. It had blood spreading around it, but what really concerned Alice was the separate puddle of blood that was too far from the corpse to have come from it. Past the deer, though, dirt was turned up as though someone had scrambled through it, kicking it up with their shoes. Whoever it was, they were in a rush.

There was no way that Shane and Rick were stupid enough to shoot a deer. The other puddle of blood - something must have happened. Either one of the officers or, god forbid, Carl were injured.

Alice didn't know what to do. She rested her hands on her thighs and heaved, lungs burning. If this wasn't her group, going in the direction that the dirt led could get her in seriously deep water. If it was, running back and getting lost about in the woods would another bad situation. Especially if someone was bleeding; she could give them blood.

She heard a rustle and turned to see a lone man stumbling through the woods towards her. His shirt and jaw were blood-stained and one suspender hung off his shoulder, swinging with every step. Her hand shook. Even one walker was a risk. Even one walker could overpower her and bite her. Alice backed up and took off running in the direction that the disturbed mud seemed to point.

After what felt like miles, the woods gave out to field at a sturdy wooden fence, and Alice figured climbing over it made sense. Her legs and hands shook as she swung her legs over the fence.

There was a building in the distance. A farmhouse. It looked like something from when the world was normal.

Alice kept up a jog, but her lugs burned and her legs ached. She could barely breathe in fully before exhaling in her panted rush to get oxygen. She was halfway across the field, rising up the slight incline of the land when she saw it properly. The farmhouse was tall, standing over the farm like a guardian despite the white paint that was so clearly old and fading. The building looked to be out of a whole other time, what with how normal it looked. No boarded up windows, no smashed glass, no bloodstains. It was untouched.

She pulled Shane's gun from her waistband and slowed her pace to a walk as she got near the farmhouse. Alice would need her breath if it came down to it. There was a girl stood in the doorway, and as Alice approached she heard the girl scream "Daddy!".

What the fuck was this? If there were other people then they could have been responsible for the gunshot. They could have fired at her people. Alice was frozen, unsure where to go as the field lacked cover when the familiar figure came out onto the porch.

"Shane?" she stumbled over his name, "What- what happened? What is this place? Who's hurt?"

"Carl. One of their men, Otis, he was huntin' a deer and he shot it, bullet went right through and hit Carl."

"Oh my god. Is he-" her eyes flashed with concern.

"He's alive, but this doctor, Hershel, says he might need surgery. Bullet fractured inside 'im." Alice wrapped her sides around Shane's middle and felt his arms pull her in close. "How'd you find us?"

"I ran after the gunshot, saw the deer, and that some of the dirt was disturbed - I just kind of bolted it up here." Alice pulled back, wiped her wet eyes to make sure no tears would fall out, and started walking towards the farmhouse, "I can donate blood to Carl. He'll need it if he was shot."

"Rick's already given him blood; they're the same type," Shane said, keeping stride beside Alice, "These people are actin' pretty normal. One of 'em even offered me lemonade. Lemonade, durin' all this. I don't trust that."

"Out here, maybe they weren't hit so bad. They might not have any idea how bad it really is. Sure, the tv and the occasional walker are something but, you and I both know that you can't get rid of the feeling of terror that finds a home in your bones after seeing a whole group rip people apart." Alice said.

"You were in the city even longer than the likes of Glenn," he muttered, "How bad was it?"

"Bad," Alice said, her attention drawn back to the fact that Carl was injured. It had only just clicked in her mind that if he needed surgery there was no way they could do it here, in a farmhouse. Rick walked out onto the porch as they arrived, blood still staining his shirt and arms; he must have carried Carl.

"I can donate blood as well, Rick. Universal donor, O negative and all."

"Thank you," he croaked, and Alice realized that he was going into shock. Shane pulled Rick inside the farmhouse with him, and Alice was hesitant as she made her way behind them. The pair sat down, and from Rick's heavy glances at a door and the occasional noises from behind it, the woman was fairly sure that Carl was in there.

The parlor-like room held multiple fancy floral armchairs, one of which held a heavyset man.

"Alice Lockwood. I, uh, I ran here after I heard the shot. I'm with them." She gestured to Rick and Shane. "I can donate blood to Carl as well if he needs it."

The man nodded, and said "I'm Otis", but he seemed reluctant to divulge more. Worry marred his features. Alice took a seat in one of the armchairs, biting her fingernail as she tried not to listen to Rick justify his decision about looking for Sophia to himself.

"Little girl goes missing, you look for her. It's what you do. I know you said to call it, but a little girl goes missing and you look for her." Rick said, and Alice cast a sharp glance towards Shane. She knew he didn't want to search, but trying to sway Rick otherwise?

A woman's voice rang out, and a door in the room swung open revealing a woman with short brown hair and a very pink top. "Rick," she said, and as the man rushed after her into the room the woman said, "He needs blood."

Alice stood, brushing past Shane to get into the room beside the woman, "I'll give him blood, I'm O negative. Rick, you - you look like you're going into shock. You gotta rest, ok?"

Her eyes fell on Carl, on the bed. He was crying out, a horrible pained noise that made Alice want to cry out and pull the old man away from him. He had some metal device inside the deep hole in Carl's side. H

Alice swallowed and looked away from the bloody mess. "Take my blood." She reaffirmed to the blonde woman holding a needle, and met Rick's eyes, "You're going through enough. A fortnight ago you were in a coma, Rick."

Rick's attention changed to Carl as the boy started screaming louder, and the sheriff's deputy let out a loud cry, "Stop, you're killin' him!"

"Rick, you want him to live?" the older man asked, though his tone suggested that he knew it wasn't a question at all.

"He needs blood." The blonde woman said.

Alice thrust her arm out to the woman and she grabbed it at the same time that Shane, who was holding Carl down, yelled, "Do it now!".

The brunette hissed as the needle entered the crook of her elbow but said nothing, holding still. Then, Carl's cries stopped and he fell limp. Alice moved her free hand to cover her mouth. The boy wasn't moving at all. Rick fell to his knees at the bedside and whimpered, "Is he…"

"He just passed out." The older man announced, and Alice released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

The doctor pulled the metal plier-things out, a string of blood attacked as he held up the object clutched between them."One down, five to go."

* * *

Alice sat in the floral armchair, her gaze on Rick.

"You ain't gotta give blood for him." He mumbled, "He's my son. I never shoulda brought him with us."

"You can't blame yourself, Rick. If you're gonna blame anyone, blame me. I probably gave him the idea, what with asking to stay at the church."

"Ain't nobody to be blamed here." Shane butted in, his narrowed gaze fixed on the man sat to the side of Alice, "Was just a stupid accident. That's all."

"Lori has to be here — she has to know." Rick began, "She's his mother. She has to be here, Shane." Rick said, and Alice looked away as Shane shifted closer to the man. Both were covered in sweat, and Rick in blood. She flexed her elbow just to feel the numb pain where her blood had been taken.

"I'm gonna handle it. But you've gotta handle your end." Shane kept close to Rick, his hand clutching his partner's shoulder and keeping him upright.

"My- my end?" Rick stuttered.

"Your end is being here, for your son." Shane said, "Even if he doesn't need your blood, there is no way I'd ever let you walk out that door. Man, I-" Shane smiled, a forced smile that didn't reach his eyes, "I'd break your legs if you tried. I mean, you know that right? If something happened, if he slipped away and you weren't here— you would never forgive yourself for that and neither would Lori, man."

"You're right," Rick's eyes were wet and rimmed red.

"When was I ever wrong?" Shane laughed, this time more real. Alice even smiled. She could picture the friendship, the two cops who'd been friends for years, Shane the everlasting bachelor and Rick the ever-faithful husband, talking about their lives. "You know, when you were in that hospital, the one you were never supposed to leave, man… You should've seen Lori."

Shane reached forward with his free hand, fingers splayed as he moved his hand, trying to emphasize his point, "She was like - the strength of that woman. You can't imagine it."

Alice met Shane's dark eyes. The smile slipped from her face as she took in the spark in his eyes. It was as though he snapped out of a trance when he met her acknowledging gaze, realized what path he was going down with what he was saying, and stumbled over his next words, "See, see- that's what you gotta have now. I mean, Carl, he needs that from you."

"The last few days have been proper bad luck, and I know you've been real strong Rick. I know it's hard, that you still gotta be, but you just stay with Carl. We'll handle the rest." Alice said, thumbing the small scab in the crook of her elbow, "I'm gonna make sure I give all the blood I can, so hopefully you don't got to."

Shane nodded, "You just be strong, you leave the rest to us, okay?"

"All right," Rick said, a grateful look in those red-rimmed eyes of his. Alice might have moved to hug him if not for the opening of the door behind them.

The older man, the one Shane had explained was called Hershel, said: "He's out of danger for the moment, but I need to remove those remaining fragments."

Alice wasn't thinking about the how just that he was stable right now. She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

"How? You saw how he was." Rick said, that comfort that had been in his eyes all but gone now.

"I know, and that was the shallowest one. I need to go deeper to get the others." Hershel paused for a second before continuing, "His belly's distended, his pressure's dropping, which means there's internal bleeding. A fragment must have nicked one of the blood vessels."

Alice put her head in her hands, dragging her palms over her face. Hershel continued, "I have to open him up, find the bleeder and stitch it. And, he can't move while I'm in there. I mean at all. If he reacts the same as before, I'll sever an artery and he'll be dead in minutes."

She rested her face on her clasped knuckles and closed her eyes. With Sophia missing, they couldn't lose Carl too. None of the kids deserved to live in this, but they didn't deserve to die like this either. She didn't know how to help and wasn't sure she'd be strong enough to even if she knew how.

"To even try this, I have to put him under. But if I do, he won't be able to breathe on his own. Same bad results."

"What'll it take?" Rick asked.

The heavyset man, the one called Otis, stepped forward and began to speak. Alice raised her head to watch him as he spoke, his cap flapping about like a rag doll in his grip as he gestured. "You need a respirator. What else?"

"The tube that goes with it, extra surgical supplies, drapes, sutures." The doctor rattled off the list of supplies, and Alice saw Rick and Shane's forms shifting with every word but not with lack of hope; rather, the opposite - all of those were things that could be found, somewhere.

"If you had all that, you could save him?" Rick asked, almost begging. In some ways, he was.

"If I had all that, I could try," Hershel said. He wouldn't guarantee it, a smart man.

"Nearest hospital went up in flames a month ago." Otis said, but almost whispered as he seemed to realize, "The high school."

"How far is it?" Alice asked, her voice quick as she struggled to get words out.

"Five miles. They set up a FEMA shelter there." Hershel corrected her, "They'd have everythin' we need."

"Place was overrun last time I saw it." Otis said, "Maybe it's better now."

Alice looked between them all, before announcing, "I can do it. Sneak past the walkers or something, I don't know, but we gotta save-"

"Not you." Alice's mouth stilled as she met Hershel's strong gaze, "That boy is going to need a lot more blood than is safe to take from either one of you alone. I'm gonna need you, and Rick, right here. Neither of you can go more than fifty feet from this bed."

Alice nodded, the realization dawning on her. The relief, too. She hadn't really thought about going to an overrun medical shelter, just decided that she would for Carl, and now only as an afterthought was she was scared, not to mention an idiot for forgetting that Carl needed blood.

"I said, leave the rest to me. It too late to take that back?" Shane said, bouncing on his feet as he struggled to stay still. Alice saw the fear in his eyes, the resigned smile as though he expected to die now.

"I hate you goin' alone," Rick said.

Shane looked away, and his voice broke,"Come on. Doc why don't you - write me a list, draw me a map." He pursed his lips as he looked at Hershel. The journalist knew that, if the world were normal again, she would have written about this. About the capacity for love and sacrifice that humans possessed.

She kept imagining him being torn apart, and she had to look away. She was studying the wood of the door when Otis spoke again,

"You won't need a map," he took a deep breath in, "I'll take you there."

"Otis, no," Patricia said. Alice shifted her weight to her back leg, chewing on the fingernail of her thumb. Otis wasn't the ideal person for a run, Alice knew that even though she chastised herself for thinking thoughts about his weight and physical state, but he seemed to be all they had.

"Honey, we don't have time for guesswork and I'm responsible. I ain't gonna sit here while this fella takes this on alone." He paused before he shrugged, "I'll be alright."

Both him and Shane, acting like they weren't possibly going to both get killed now. Shane said, "You sure about this?" She could tell he was questioning Otis' usefulness, just like Alice was.

"You even know what any of the stuff he's talking about looks like?"

"Come to think, no." Shane rubbed the back of his neck.

"I've been a volunteer EMT, I do. So we can talk about this 'til next Sunday or we can go do it real quick."

"I'll take real quick," Shane gave a small smile.

"I should thank you," Rick said, but Otis dismissed him.

"Wait 'till that boy of yours is up and around, then we'll talk." Otis gave Rick a look that conveyed all the guilt he felt, before making to leave, "I'll gather some things."

"Where is she, your wife?" Maggie asked Rick, and as Rick explained where on the highway the group was staying, and the rough path they'd taken back, Alice turned to Shane. She pulled the handgun from the back of her cargo pants, holding it out.

"I think you'll want this back." Shane nodded, taking it from her and tucking it into the front of his waistband after checking it over, "Be careful, Shane."

"Why, don't you know careful's my middle name?"

"Don't talk rubbish." Alice let the smile drop and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and hug him. He leaned forward to reciprocate it, and she moved her lips beside his ear to whisper, "If you can't get all the supplies, it ain't worth getting them if you're too dead to bring them back. Do whatever it takes to keep Carl alive."

She dropped back, and Shane's eyes caught hers for a moment before he nodded in acknowledgment, "I was plannin' on doin' just that."

* * *

Alice followed everyone outside moments later, and to the blue pickup that sat waiting for the two men. The dying light made everything look more peaceful than it was, casting it all in golden rays.

Rick had a hand on Shane's shoulder and was saying something to him. Behind the vehicle, Alice could see Patricia and Otis hugging. When Rick left to speak to them, Alice turned to Shane. The side of him facing her was bathed in light, but half his face was covered in a shadow she created. She took in the sight of him, one hand resting on the side of the pickup and the other resting on his hip as though it was the most comfortable trip he'd ever take.

It could be the last time she'd ever see him. Alice was looking at the brown of his eyes when he snapped,

"The hell you starin' at, girl?"

"If you don't come back, I don't wanna forget. Sure, you're a giant dick, but you're still a friend." Alice quietly said, and Shane looked away before swinging his head back towards her.

"If I don't come back, I need you to make sure that boy lives. Make sure Rick's keepin' the group safe, makin' the right calls." His voice was low, too low for the others to hear.

She nodded and said, "Good luck". Otis was already in the driver's seat, and Alice stepped back to let Shane get into the truck. When he was, she leaned into the frame of the window, "Otis, you have any idea what these things are capable of in a big group?"

"I saw the news," Otis said, confirming what Alice thought about the people on the little farm.

"Let's hope you don't need to find out." She forced a smile as the men started the engine. The pickup traveled quickly, a fast receding shape heading towards the edge of the farm.

"Shane and I been best friends since we were kids." Rick commented, as the "He's the one who convinced me to ask Lori out. Now he's riskin' his life for our kid."

"He's family, right?"

"He's my brother," Rick said, "He's my brother but he's changed."

"Shane was on the front lines of all this when it started; the police were the ones being called out before they realized how bad it really is. He's had a long time to adjust." Alice surveyed Rick's expression, "You've had what, ten days? He's seen a lot more of this world than either of us."

"Nine." Rick pursed his lips, "We can't be animals just because of how the world is now."

"If it was between this group dying or being a bad guy? I can't say I wouldn't be the bad guy." Alice said. What she didn't say was that doing and saying were entirely different, and deep down she didn't think that she could hurt other good people just to keep herself alive.

Rick scrutinized her before he muttered, "We don't kill the living. Our mutual enemy is the walkers. The only way to survive is to work together."

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend, right? We better go back in, to Carl," Alice said. She gave him a shaky smile before turning away. If she had to do unthinkable things, would the group still accept her? She wrung her hands, thinking about Shane and what she'd told him to do.

* * *

 **A/N: AND I'M BACK! I can't even begin to apologize for how long it's been. This is the first update of 2018 and we're about to hit September, oops. I've been in a bad place what with college and my mental health but I'm happy to say that I'm definitely back. Writing is something I love to do and I betrayed myself by spending so long not being able to get my head down.**

 **I hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter. I would love to hear feedback, especially since it's been so long and I'm not sure I did justice to the writing style of the other chapters. Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Is there anything you have questions about or anything you think I massively botched up? I love (constructive) criticism.**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **P.S. I know this chapter sticks pretty heavily to Alice, Shane, and Rick but unfortunately the apocalypse won't halt for romance.**


	10. 10 - The Right Choice

Part Two - Disunity

10 - The Right Choice

 _warning : mentions of suicidal thoughts in this chapter. Look after yourselves :)_

* * *

Alice was sat in that same floral armchair with a glass of lemonade when she heard the sound of hooves pounding the ground. Outside the window, she just caught a glimpse of two women on a horse before they went out of sight. Moments later, Rick and Lori came into the room clutching each other. Rick's arm, a weak support around Lori's side. They paid no heed to Alice as they passed, deep lines understandably creased into their foreheads, and Alice left the room with a lowered gaze.

Outside, the sky was slowly succumbing to nighttime. The tide of darkness was shoving the sunlight down the horizon and leaving a purplish blue in its wake.

"It's nearly dark." Maggie joined Alice on the porch, both women staring at the road leading off the farm with furrowed brows, "D'you think it should take this long?"

"If it's still overrun, I guess so." Alice shifted to face Maggie, "Some people reckon' that the walkers are more active at night. I reckon' they were in Atlanta because of all the car alarms and fires, but I don't know if that's true regardless. What do you think?"

"I haven't seen all that many together at once. Even town is pretty empty," Maggie asked, "Have you killed many of them?"

"Less than twenty? I stopped counting," Alice said, dismissing the way Maggie's lips turned down and her eyes widened, "I could have put down more if I'd had the courage. You killed many?"

"No," Maggie looked off into the distance, "We haven't killed none."

"Oh," Alice looked down at her boots, "You're lucky. I don't think I can get the picture of someone being torn apart from my mind, not ever."

"What about killin' them, don't you feel bad?"

"Why would I feel bad?" the survivor tilted her head, studying Maggie, "They aren't alive; I've seen a walker's head keep on moving after it's been beheaded." Alice followed the farmgirl's gaze to a barn that sat on the edge of vision in the evening light, "Every one that someone puts down is one less to kill a living person. I'll never regret that."

"I thought they were just sick,"

"If you get up close with one - which I never hope you have to do - then I figure you'll change your mind pretty quickly." She rubbed at her arms, feeling the ghost of a walker's grip. It'd happened, the first one she'd killed, in the Walmart near her house. She'd been just as naive as everyone else and she'd run there for supplies. Alice could still hear the crunches and squelches as she brought the metal lunchbox down on its head, over and over.

* * *

"You should not have taken blood from Rick." Alice scowled at the doctor - Vet, she'd since learnt, "I can give blood. He needs to be awake, for his child. You should have called me in."

"I can't take the amount that the boy is going to need from just one of you; it's too dangerous. It's extremely likely you'd go into shock and your body would shut down." Hershel was stern as he spoke, "I will take as much as I can from you if you wish. Rick's given quite a bit,"

Lori touched Alice's shoulder, and she turned to speak to the woman, "I don't know how I can ever repay you for what you're doing, giving blood for my son."

Alice sank into a crouch before dropping to sit on the floor, legs crossed before her and her back resting against the wall, "Don't thank me. I wish there was more I could do."

"We're all doin' all we can." Lori said, crouching beside Alice with a hand on her thigh, "Thank you."

* * *

Alice felt dizzy as she walked into the kitchen, spurred on by news of Glenn and T-Dog arriving. She'd given blood twice now, since Carl's pressure had dropped again, and had been instructed to get some food from Maggie and Patricia while she was in there.

"You got here right in time; this couldn't go untreated much longer." Alice heard Patricia saying, and she winced as she saw Maggie holding down T-Dog's arm as Patricia stitched.

"Thank God for you, Patricia. I don't think I could stitch anyone else or myself, not ever." Alice said, announcing her presence.

"I thought you were staying at the church?" Glenn asked, "Maggie said you were here, but we weren't sure how,"

"I heard the gunshot, went running off in the general direction. I was lucky enough to find the farm." Alice said, and took a seat at the table, "You found antibiotics?"

"Merle Dixon's," Glenn said.

"Merle Dixon. That your friend who gave you the antibiotics?" Patricia kept on stitching his arm, unresponsive to T-Dog's contorted face.

"No, ma'am. Merle's no longer with us. Daryl gave us those. His brother." Glenn explained.

T-Dog grumbled in response, "Not sure I'd call him a friend."

"He is today. This doxycycline might have just saved your life." Patricia said, and Alice wondered why Merle had antibiotics when they didn't give you any sort of high, "You know what Merle was taking it for?"

"The Clap." Glenn bluntly announced and Alice snorted, covering her mouth with a hand as Glenn continued, "Um, venereal disease. That's what Daryl said."

Patricia lowered her voice, "I'd say Merle Dixon's clap was the best thing to ever happen to you".

Alice couldn't contain herself and let a smile spread across her face, "Never heard of clap saving someone's life before."

"I'm really trying not to think about that," T-Dog said, before twisting his head in pain as Patricia did another stitch. But, he was done quicker than expected, and Alice was confused to see Maggie quickly leave the room, until she realized that Glenn had gone out front, too.

"You think Maggie and Glenn fancy each other?" she asked.

"Sure seems like it. He kept talkin' 'bout this chick that rode in on a horse like 'Zorro'. Who the hell is Zorro?"

"I don't have the foggiest idea," Alice smirked, knowing she'd have to dig all of this information out of Glenn; she has a terrible case of being nosey.

* * *

Alice was half-asleep with a book discarded in her lap when she heard the cry from Carl's room. She jumped up, the pages swooshing as the slid on the floor, and stumbled through the doorway.

"What's happening?" she gasped, but she knew. He was having a fit, and Alice clasped her hands on top of her head before calming her shock, "Doesn't that mean he doesn't have enough blood or oxygen or something?"

"His brain isn't getting enough blood. He needs another transfusion." Hershel confirmed.

Alice held her arm out to Patricia, "Take more, take whatever he bloody needs, yeah?"

Carl went still, his fit over, and for a second he looked dead. Alice felt her chest tighten, saw the way Rick and Lori's faces had dropped. Felt her own features slowly slackening as Carl continued to look dead.

"He just passed out." Hershel said, and Alice turned back to Patricia to get on with the process of giving blood. She could still feel the tension in her chest, but the fact that he was alive calmed Alice, even if the shallowness of his breathing didn't.

"You can't give much more blood. You're at risk of cardiac arrest or even going into a coma."

Alice froze. To die in all of this from giving blood? She nodded, "Bollocks to it, just keep Carl alive."

"Take it from me." Rick said.

"Rick, you just got out of a coma, so keep quiet. You've given just as much," Alice argued. She stared him out, and eventually, his blue eyes shifted back to the boy in the bed. His son. Alice was practically alone now, other than the group, and she wouldn't mind dying if it meant Rick could be with his son.

Even if the thought of being dead made her swallow with fear.

* * *

Alice sagged into the armchair. She felt sick, that was for sure. Her throat burned from the lemonade she'd downed in one, and now she just wanted to sleep. She'd given more blood, again. It definitely wasn't healthy. Her skin was clammy, her arms and hands visibly pale.

Where the fuck were Shane and Otis? The journalist had started to wonder whether they'd make it back ; it'd been far too long for things to have gone to plan. Shane felt a lot like a friend and a lot like safety. She pushed away the fear of his death.

 _'Do whatever it takes to keep Carl alive.'_

Alice still couldn't believe she'd said it to Shane. She didn't really know what she'd been suggesting. No. That was a lie, she did. They'd both seen that Otis wasn't going to match up to Shane's police training. Had anyone else been thinking that? Were they horrible people for coming to that simple conclusion?

God, she was a disgusting human. At what point had she decided it was okay to pick and choose who got to live?

Through the door, she saw them carrying Carl onto a table. She stood, dizzy. Were they going to start now?

"He doesn't have much time." Patricia explained, seeing Alice stood there, "If he survives this, he'll need blood. You need to rest."

Alice nodded and sank back into the chair. Doing the surgery without putting Carl under would kill him. The chances were very, very low. Low enough that Alice felt tears burning her eyes. She took one last look at the pale, limp figure that whose head lolled on the table when they put him down and looked away. Shot and buried the memories and him and Sophia playing in the quarry, or in the CDC. Ignored the tightness in her throat.

Carl and Sophia hadn't deserved this.

"Wait," Rick said, and Alice looked up through watery eyes. The sound of an engine. She got up, rushed after Rick to get out the front door. She stumbled down the steps, barely able to see into the cab of the pickup in the full-dark.

Only Shane got out, lugging two large black bags as quickly as he could on a limp, croaking out, "Carl?"

"There's still a chance," Rick confirmed.

"Otis?" Hershel asked, and Shane's body changed. He tensed up, his eyes widened. She saw the desperate way his eyes latched onto Rick like Rick might help him pull through whatever was happening in his head.

"No." Shane shook his head.

"We say nothing to Patricia. Not till after; I need her." Hershel said, heading back inside with the bags of supplies that Shane had dumped into his arms.

When Hershel was gone, Rick pulled Shane into a hug, and Alice didn't miss the look Shane gave Lori over Rick's shoulder. He needed someone right then. Alice hadn't fully understood until that moment; he was just as scared of being alone as she was.

"You need to rest, Shane," Alice said, and his eyes met hers before he nodded. He understood.

She caught a glimpse into the pickup as they passed, and she saw the silver gleam of Rick's colt. In the bed of the truck lay the wooden rifle she'd seen slung over Otis' shoulder.

Alice felt herself start to shake as they moved away, maybe thirty meters from the farmhouse. She dropped to her knees in the grass as Shane rested against a tree lone, his sore leg propped up while he stretched the other out.

"What happened?" she asked, voice cracking.

"We used flares to distract 'em at first, but when we came out we got surrounded. Had to run through the school. I jumped out this window, how I hurt my leg." He paused, and Alice reached out, clasping a hand around his forearm, "Then we were out of ammo. I told him, go ahead, go ahead of me."

Shane's eyes were wide, and she wondered if he was in shock. It looked like he might even cry. His body shifted away from her before she continued. Like he couldn't confront her now.

"But he said he'd cover me, so I go ahead and- I turn around an' they've got him. He gave himself for the little boy."

Alice was ready to hug Shane, to whisper that he'd wanted to make amends, but something dawned on her that made her pull her hand back like she'd been burnt, "You have Rick's pistol and Otis' rifle and bag, right? If he was covering you, how'd you get them?"

"I- uh,"

"Don't fuckin' lie, Shane. A man is dead, don't just lie. I'm here for you, Shane."

Shane ran his fingers into his hair, and after a long moment, he sighed, "I had to. It was me or him, and I had to make sure Carl got what he needed. I had to. What was I gonna do, fireman's lift him outta there and get us both eaten?"

"What did you do?" Alice shifted to sit down properly beside him. The numbness she'd felt at hearing of Otis' demise, the utter non-feeling, was fading away.

He angled his face to the right, away from her, as he went on, "I asked him to go on, he wouldn't. They were gonna kill us both. It was him or me, an' I needed to make sure Carl would make it." He rubbed a palm over his forehead before he said, "I shot him in the leg."

He met her eyes for a moment, and Alice saw the pain in them, "I took the stuff an' I got away while they were eatin' him. I did what I had to, to keep Carl alive."

"Oh god." Alice breathed.

"I ain't stopped hearin' his screams." Shane shook his head, imprisoned tears rimming his eyes, "I can't get it out of my head, but I'd do it again- to save Carl."

"That's what we said. Do whatever it takes." Alice breathed, "We can't tell them. The people on this farm don't seem to understand how dire the situation out there is. Rick doesn't understand. We don't kill the living, those were his words. His words. Oh god."

She felt in the pocket of her pants, pulling out the box of cigarettes and the lighter she'd scavenged that morning. God, it felt like years since Carl had been shot. She knew that if everyone found out what happened to Otis, they wouldn't understand. They'd do something rash. A cold chill crept up her spine at the thought of Otis being torn apart but it didn't stop the red-hot cords being dragged through her veins at the thought of Shane being branded a murderer. When she met his eyes, she truly believed that he'd had no choice. There was something different in his eyes.

"You want one?"

"Don't smoke."

"I stopped, three years ago. When I planned to move after some shit went down in my life. Figured new continent, new me." Alice said before she lit the one hanging from her lip. The heat from the flame ran over her face, a familiar feeling, and Alice almost coughed as she inhaled the warm smoke. The smoke was barely visible in the darkness, and each pull Alice took of the cigarette caused the end to burn brightly, illuminating her and Shane.

It was what caused her to see the tears brimming in his eyes.

"It might not have been the good thing to do, but you saved Carl's life. Saved your life. You did what you needed to." Alice said and wondered who she was really consoling.

"You reckon' Carl'll be alright?"

"I hope so." She did hope so, more than anything. A man had died for those medical supplies. Not died, been murdered. Sacrificed. Alice found herself struggling to choose the right word, yet in the end, the verb didn't matter ; the end result was the same. The journalist wasn't sure she'd be so eager to spin a story now, not when the line between murder and sacrifice was so blurred.

The warmth of the smoke in her lungs was familiar, despite how long it had been, and she let herself relax into the buzz the nicotine caused in her brain. The feeling of the nicotine made her dizzy, something she'd once tenderly called 'niccy rush', and coupled with the blood loss she was almost swaying.

"Sorry. I just…" Alice met his eyes, and realized he'd been watching her, "I'll help you. Lie to them, I mean."

"Thank you." He drawled, "How do I face his wife?" His face twisted, his head ever-so-slightly rocking.

Alice stared at the ground, "We'll figure it out. You should clean up."

Shane stood and was limping away before Alice could say anything else. She let her back fall against the rough bark, felt the goosebumps that had risen on her arms.

Shane's figure was dark, backlit by the lights of the farmhouse.

Alice felt the hot tears running down her face around the same time that her chest began to convulse, her body racked with sobs. She threw the cigarette aside and wiped at her damp face, streaking the tears across her cheeks and hands.

She imagined Otis, being torn apart and screaming. Otis, who she'd known for perhaps an hour but who in that time had already shown what an awkward yet honourable man he was.

She cried into the night. She couldn't do this, couldn't look people in the eyes and support it. It was a sacrifice, but was there really that much difference between the deaths of the unwillingly sacrificed and the murdered?

 _'You are free to make whatever choice you want, but you are not free from the consequences of the choice.'_ Alice didn't know who'd come up with it, but the quote played in her mind. Killing Otis meant that Carl had a shot to live. Not killing him meant Shane, Otis, and Carl would all be dead. Majority over the minority. Ours over theirs.

She buried her resignations, deep, and took a shaky breath. This world was different and Shane, Carl, they were her group now. Shane had made the right choice to protect Carl and now she had to make the right choice to protect Shane and the group from the wrath of Hershel's family. If he found out, he'd kick the group off of the farm and Carl would have nowhere to recover. Rick could kick them out of the group.

The woman began to think up new lies and hoped she wouldn't choke on them.

* * *

The journalist leaned against the back of the pickup truck. Her eyes weren't on the untouchable darkness or the cigarette in her hand but on the stars above. She'd never been somewhere where you could see the stars so well. The inky sky was overwhelmed by them, an infinite number of glowing specks. Alice's eyes traced the hazy white of the milky way. She'd never been able to see the galaxy in so much clarity. How fitting, to be somewhere so clear when all that was due to leave her mouth was lies.

"Didn't take you for someone who stares at the stars,"

Alice turned to see Shane. Her eyebrows rose as she took in his newly-shaved head. It made the shape of his head, and his slightly too big ears, far more pronounced.

"You actually look like a convict, or a psycho, with that haircut," a ghost of a smile crossed her face, "Trying to get into character or what?"

Shane was quiet for a moment, "Otis ripped some hair out."

"Oh," Alice turned away, and continued smoking the cig, "Anyone else know that you have his rifle?"

"Nah, don't think so." He leaned against the back of the pickup with her, "Why?"

"You can say he was covering you - if you hide the gun. If not, it's really obvious that he wasn't covering you." Alice finished the smoke and tossed the butt to the floor, stomping on it to make sure it was out, "Shit, why am I smoking again?"

She adjusted the sleeves of the brown fleece she'd grabbed from her backpack before zipping it up to her neck. A chill had settled on the farm not long after the last rays of sunlight disappeared from the sky.

"This all getting' too much for you?"

"Isn't it too much for everyone?" Alice answered, "I'll be torn apart before smoking can kill me. Call it a comfort."

"Can't blame you, I s'pose."

"You were a real asshole in Atlanta, you know." Alice began, "But I kinda get where you were coming from. Even if I'm not over your blatant sexism, and you wrestling me for those damn bike keys."

"You letting me know I owe you one or somethin' here?"

"You do owe me one, but I was gonna say that you changed. Can you actually tolerate my presence now or is it just 'cause you're losing everyone else?"

"I was wrong 'bout you," He admitted, "Thought you were some reckless woman who thought she knew everythin'. Still ain't sure why you wanted to drive back into Atlanta for Merle fuckin' Dixon."

"Before I met Glenn, I considered finishing my time on this earth faster than intended." Alice toed the ground with her boot, "I think I just needed an excuse to die, after years of fighting to convince myself that ending it all wasn't worth it."

"Damn." he said, "You still feelin' like that?"

"I don't think so." Alice said, but her sudden revelation had embarrassed her and she changed the topic quickly, "What happened to leaving?"

"Ain't plausible, seein' as Carl's gonna be takin' some time to recover," Shane said, and Alice felt the excuse in the air.

"I think I figured it out." she said, "Lori, Carl. You're just terrified of what, being alone? Not having a mental refuge in the form of a person? I get that."

"Don't go bein' a shrink on me." he rubbed the back of his neck, "Let me tell you, yesterday, given the opportunity I woulda jumped yer bones. Lotta shit's happened to make me wanna do anythin' to fuck all this shit outta my system. 'Cept now seems like you're one of the only damn people who understand what I'm tryna do for this group."

"Lovely compliment, that, you horny bastard." she laughed, saw the grin across his face, but what he'd said shifted something in her mind, "Shane, I don't wanna- you know. I'm sure you're about as experienced as a pornstar but I've got no intentions of that."

"Nah. Andrea ain't half bad, though." The corner of his mouth raised, "Seems she's on the outside too. She was askin' to leave with me at the church."

Alice remembered seeing them walking together, "I thought you said we weren't leaving now." Truth was, Alice didn't want to leave, but some part of her felt compelled to stick to her word. Her mind was drawn back to whether or not she'd be able to do what Shane had done, but she didn't know. In theory, yes, but in reality, it was hard to gauge.

"Nah, not yet," Shane studied her, "Why're you helping me?"

"I don't know," the woman looked away, "I guess ever since- ever since I couldn't save my friend's life, all that time ago, I've just had this drive to wanna save people but I never knew how. I'm not a doctor or anything. I just can't shake the feeling of wanting to do everything I can."

"What about protectin' people like..." his face went slack and Alice knew that he was remembering Otis, "People who ain't with our group?"

"We have to do whatever it bloody takes for the people we care about, right?" Alice met his eyes, "You were right about Merle, no matter how fucked up it might be to leave a man up there to die. The group we met, they were good guys, but what if they weren't? It was a stupid risk."

"So you're sayin' that Rick ain't fit to lead, that right? That he made the wrong call-"

"I'm saying that if people died in the midst of retrieving Merle's hand, or if Carl had died in that surgery because you didn't... sacrifice Otis, we'd be living with those consequences. All choices have them." She lifted the rifle from the truck bed, holding it out for Shane to take, "The good choice, that could get us all killed or worse. I'm starting to think that the right choice isn't necessarily the good one."

He took the rifle, "The right choice is the one that keeps us alive." Shane confirmed, slinging it over his back, "I'm takin' this to the swamps."

"Be careful, you don't know if there are walkers stuck out there," Alice said, mouthing his words as he walked away, and adding a sentence to the end, ' _The right choice is the one that keeps us alive. Us, not them.'_

* * *

 **A/N: Ok, so Alice is helping Shane cover up Otis' murder. Do you think this is going to go right or wrong for them? I'm curious to know what you guys think of Shane, both in the show and here - was he right or wrong or somewhere in between in killing Otis?**

 **I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did don't forget to follow, favourite and review! :) See you guys next time!**


	11. 11 - Ghost in the Woods

**Part 2 - Disunity**

 **11 - Ghost in the Woods**

* * *

"Blessed be God, father of our lord Jesus Christ." Hershel stood before the rock memorial at one end of the semicircle the standing group made, "Praise be to him for the gift of our brother Otis, for his span of years, for his abundance of character; Otis, who gave his life to save a child's, now more than ever, our most precious asset."

There was a small pause, in which Alice cast her eyes up at Shane's subtly shaking head and his wide eyes. He stood to her right, still in Otis' oversized clothes, and she tried to ignore that part as she wrapped a hand around his forearm to let him know she was there for him.

"We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace. He died as he lived, in Grace." Hershel finished, and turned towards them, "Shane, will you speak for Otis?"

"Not good at it," Shane muttered. He looked away, at the fields behind them, and Alice squeezed her grip around his arm. To stand before a man's loved ones and lie was to destroy some moral part of you that should never have to come under fire. Under any other circumstance, Alice might call Shane a monster. Under that other circumstance, she might give into the part of her mind that cried for the possibility of Otis not having to die. Problem was, it was done now, and there was no other circumstance. This was it. Otis was dead and Shane had to live with it. They all did.

"You were the last one with him. You shared his final moments," Patricia's eyes were wet, one hand clutched near her face like she had nowhere to put it now that Otis wasn't there to hold, "Please. I need to know his death had meaning."

Alice swallowed and stared at the ground. Otis hadn't died a hero, or a martyr, or even by his own choice, but he had died for a good thing; a child's life. Alice wrapped the idea of him dying for a good reason around her screaming conscience in the hopes that she could smother it.

"Okay…" Shane croaked, "We were about done, almost out of ammo; we were down to pistols by then. I was limping, ankle all swollen up."

Alice felt an almost imperceptible jerk in his shoulders and knew he was thinking about what really happened.

"'We've got to save the boy.' See, thats what he said. He gave me his backpack, shoved me ahead." Patricia was staring at Shane, entranced, "'Run' Otis said, 'I'll take the rear. I'll cover you.' That's what he said.'" Shane's head jerked down, like he was shaking something out of his mind, "And when I looked back - he - he…"

A silence settled over the group. To Alice's left, Dale's eyes were darting about in confusion. To her right, Shane was staring at Patricia with a slack jaw and tormented eyes. How did you confront the widow of the man you murdered? Alice didn't know, and hoped she'd never have to know.

How could anyone ever live with what Shane had to do?

"If not for Otis," Shane lurched forward, limping towards the memorial, "I'd have never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl, too. It was Otis; he saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his."

He took a stone from the wheelbarrow, placing it atop the pile. Alice gave him the ghost of a smile as he limped back, Patricia stepping forward to speak about her own husband. As Patricia began talking, the journalist didn't miss the way Dale sent glances in Shane's direction.

"Otis and I been married thirty years this July," Patricia cried, "I thought I might lose him to cancer, 'cause of all that chewin' tobacco, or maybe to a heart attack, when we were good an' ready. But my Otis was always too good, and I knew he'd be helpin' that boy the moment we knew he needed surgery. How good he was, that's one a' the reasons I fell in love with that man."

Alice swallowed, and looked back at the ground. She'd spoken maybe thirty words with Otis, but she couldn't shake her thoughts. She wondered what he'd felt, in the moment Shane shot him, and in the moments after. Had the walkers ripped out something vital first, or had he been eaten alive? A shiver ran down her spine.

* * *

There was a small lake at the edge of the farm's property, tucked against the woods. It had an old worn dock leading into it, and that is where Alice found herself after the funeral. She'd been denied the right to search for Sophia because of the blood she'd given, so instead she wandered the property line until she found this.

The birds chirped a morning song, and the smell of damp mud permeated the air. Her lower legs hung off the edge of the dock, her boots just inches above the water, and she slowly swung them as the heat warmed her skin.

"What happened to Otis is a tragedy," Dale mused, having slowly crossed the field to reach her. She'd been waiting on him ever since she'd started hearing his thudding footsteps, "I can't even begin to understand what Shane must be feeling right now, knowing it could have been him in Otis' place."

"This world… the things that happen in it…" the survivor bit her lip, "I don't know who I need to be, or if I even want to be that person."

"We can't let this world bring us down with it." Dale said.

Alice pulled the small silver race car from her pocket, twisting the monopoly piece between her fingers. Atlanta felt like so long ago. Recklessly wanting to risk her life for the group, for Merle Dixon, felt like a lifetime ago. She'd buried something of herself after the CDC and she didn't know what but she felt different. Colder.

"Then you die, Dale. I'd do anything to keep myself and the people I care about alive." Her voice quivered.

"Being a good person? You can't let this world take that from you."

Alice held the monopoly piece out to him, "You can't play a game without the right pieces."

"What happened to liking the speed and the change?" Dale asked, lowering himself to sit beside her, "I'm worried that your… relationship, with Shane, is changing you."

"This world is changing me. Not Shane. He's just right about how we have to change." Alice almost spat, " My relationship? I am not and will not be bouncing on his dick, do you understand? What, a woman gets close to a man and you think they're fucking? I thought you were better than that."

Dale's eyes were widened, his eyebrows raised higher than Alice thought possible, and he was leaning away from her.

"Sorry," she muttered. Alice knew why she'd gotten mad; she didn't want Dale poking around in his business, and she didn't want to hear some morally righteous bullshit right then, "I - I'm terrified, and if I was looking Death in the face, so close that I could see the whites of his eyes? I think I'd do bloody anything to save myself, to save you, or Shane, or Daryl or Carl or- or anyone in our group."

"I suppose that the problem is really only if you do the kind of horrible things you don't have to do to survive." Alice was silent for a long time, staring at the subtle waves a fish in the pond was making and Dale stood, announcing, "It's about time that I go and fetch some water from one of Hershel's wells."

"I'm staying here for awhile," she said, and as Dale walked away she pulled a cig from her pack and lit it, taking a pull before using her free hand to rub her face. It was easy to justify good decisions in front of people who agreed but if they could go back to the old world, Alice wasn't sure she could stand there and admit lying about the death of a good man. It was easier to stomach what they might have to do if you assumed civilisation would never be restored, but the apocalypse was easier to deal with if you figured someday it would be. Alice didn't know what to tell herself.

Good; that word came up a lot. Alice knew that somewhere in the group, and inside of herself, there was a line between good and bad. She didn't know where that line fell, but she couldn't help but feel like she was toeing it.

* * *

Alice stood before where Shane sat sprawled in one of the camping chairs, hands on her hips, "You were trained to fight, like as a cop?"

"We learned some stuff - but the rest I learned from experience," he smirked, "Ain't so rare for a big brother or boyfriend you didn't know about, to get real mad 'bout just a lil' flirtin',"

"Teach me how to like- how to defend myself."

"You serious?" he tilted his head, eyebrows creased, "Ain't easy, bein' in a brawl."

"I know. Please, teach me."

Shane was quiet for a moment before nodding. Alice didn't miss the looks that Lori and Carol were giving them. Lori especially was sending daggers her way, and Alice almost snorted. If she felt like her territory was being breached on, Alice had a lot to say to that. Carol, at least, just looked curious.

"I'd reckon this'll come in handy, should there ever be any unfavourable men about," Shane stood, "C'mon then."

She followed him out past the farmhouse, where there was more room. From out here, they were visible only from the back windows of the large white house. Alice knew she wasn't really supposed to be doing this, what with the blood she'd given, but she figured it couldn't hurt that much this close to the house.

"First thing you gotta know," Shane began, "is that when it's self defence, you ain't fightin' to win. I'mma teach you defensive stuff, and that's all about survival. You ain't gonna win the fight, you just gotta get a way out of there, you hear me?"

He started pointing to parts of his body, "Crotch is a real big one when you're fightin' a man. Hurts like a sonofabitch. Eyes and nose - they're vulnerable too. Let me tell you somethin', if its you an' one guy, you do not hesitate to ram your fingers in his eyes if you get that chance. Wasn't so ethical or somethin' before, but no one can arrest you now."

Alice smiled, nodded, and hoped to some sort of higher power that the information would sink in.

* * *

After what had to be days, Alice had come to the conclusion that she wasn't ever going to beat Shane. In reality, they'd been training for no more than two hours.

"Shit," she breathed, lay on her back in the grass. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Shane was on top of her, hands planted on the ground on either side of her, "I can't even make you blink."

"You're still tryna follow some sorta pattern." Shane rolled off of her, sitting up to look down at Alice, "You gotta move with the situation."

Shane had beaten her over and over and over again. After showing her some basic movements, they'd practiced and she'd lost, and then he'd shown her some more complex shit she couldn't get her head around and she'd lost again.

Shane grabbed the gun they'd weaselled out of Dale. They'd managed to get it off of the old man after repeatedly showing him it was unloaded and that they had no ammo.

"That was the first time you got the gun off of me without gettin' shot, though. You're a natural but you gotta stop acting like you can control the whole situation; you can't. You gotta be ready for anythin'."

Alice smiled with pride at that, finally pulling herself into a sitting position. Her heart was going du-dum in her chest as she tried to get her breath back. The noise of her heart murmured in her ears too, a comforting rhythm that reminded her that she was alive. Not that she ever forgot, but sometimes it wasn't something she really kept in mind.

"You wanna try again?" he asked, and Alice shook her head. She could see the sun on it's way down the sky and she felt sort of sick. The backs of her legs hurt from the amount of times Shane had kicked her calfs to knock her down and her muscles ached.

"I ain't opposed to stoppin'. My balls need a damn break," he scowled, and Alice grimaced, remembering the two times she'd accidentally kicked him harder than she meant, causing him to reel back, yelling. She supposed in a way that counted as getting him down, but she'd stopped fighting to make sure he was alright.

"What happened to balls of steel?" she grinned, "Thought you were better'n that."

He shook his head, a smile stretched across his face, "Girl, you don't mess with a man's balls unless he deserves it."

"Sorry," she said, "We better get back before we miss food."

He nodded, pushing himself up to his feet before offering her his hand. She took it, using her legs to proper herself upwards as he lifted her upper body.

"You seriously wanna keep trainin' like this?" he asked, a smile on his face as they ambled back to camp, "The other women in camp - 'cept maybe Andrea - seem pretty intent on bein' housewives."

"Don't you act like they weren't basically relegated those duties back at Atlanta," Alice shook her head, "Not everyone wants to be a fighter, but I think that this world - I'll need it someday. Against walkers or people."

"Smart," Shane mused, "What do you think about gun training? I wanna get this whole group out some way from the farm, get them trained and proficient with a weapon as much as we can. Ain't no use havin' people runnin' around with weapons they know nothin' about. Point and shoot's easy, but carin' for a weapon is a whole other thing."

"I just wanna warn you that my aim is pretty awful," Alice said, "You're right though. People need to know how to shoot to survive - even if it should be a last resort."

"Your hand-eye coordination ain't so bad," Shane said, "What makes you think your aim is so bad?"

"Trust me, P.E. Classes - er, gym - were always hell. I just can't seem to figure out the logistics of like, throwing things. Air dynamics and shit like that."

"Shootin' ain't like throwing'."

"Just trust me, I know I'm going to suck." Alice said. They were approaching the small campsite now, and Alice couldn't help but compare it to Atlanta. The quarry camp had been so much bigger, more lively, with faces she didn't know and never would. This camp was tiny in comparison, a testament to everyone they'd lost.

"You been teaching Alice how to fight?" a voice called, and Alice turned to see Rick walking towards them from the farmhouse. There was a smirk on his face, "Lori told me you'd gone off together."

"He still thinks there's something up with us," Alice whispered. Shane grinned at her as they came close to Rick, and Alice paused at the feeling of his hand on her shoulder. She shook her head. Shane was fucking with Rick, or maybe just trying to cover up his affair with Rick's wife in front of the man.

"He's a good teacher." Alice said, stepping away from Shane's hold. It wasn't that she didn't want Shane to touch her but she just wasn't sure how she felt about falsely making the whole group think they were together; she'd seen the looks Lori had sent her earlier and she didn't want a fight with their leader's wife.

"I'll bet," Rick smirked, "We're eating in a bit, you guys ready?"

"Yeah man, we're good," Shane began, "Let me suggest somethin' here man - We gotta get these people trained up. What do you think about some gun training?"

"We ain't got much ammo, Shane, but I don't see why we can't do a bit. How about you and Alice have a look for some good areas?" Rick suggested.

Alice shook her head, "Count me out. I wanna get some well needed rest, thank you very much. Why don't you take Andrea?" she met Shane's eyes as she said the name, and saw the the small smile growing in them. He knew she'd remembered what he said the night before.

"I'll go see if she's up for it, then," Shane said, turning and heading towards the camp.

"How's Shane holding up?" Rick asked, "Last night - he looked real shaken when he came back, and at the funeral this morning. That look in his eyes, I've only ever seen him look even a little like that once before. He turned up to a scene on his own once, while I was outta town, and so I hear there was a real bad accident. This guy's pregnant wife, she's long dead, and the guy was just doin' CPR over and over to her torn up body like he might save her."

"He seemed okay today - but that's Shane, right?" Alice fiddled with the strap of her vest, "Just pushing it down and acting like he's fine."

"I feel like you know him better'n I do recently," Rick stopped walking, leaning in to meet her eyes, "That's my brother, and I have no idea what's going on in his head. I should just get over it; we've been friends since we were just kids, after all, but I just-"

He trailed off, looking away, but Alice was worried, "Get over what, Rick?"

"Nothing, I was just lost in my thoughts,"

"Rick,"

"I need to go and check on Lori," Rick said, walking away before she could say more. Alice pinched the bridge of her nose. It sounded like maybe, just maybe, Rick had an idea about Shane and Lori. What else would he have to get over, exactly?

Alice took a deep breath, and made her way over for something to eat. She was starving.

* * *

The night had been terrifying ever since the dead came back to life. Alice couldn't recall a night she hadn't been even a little scared, yet, something about the farm relaxed her. Besides the walker in the well, they hadn't seen a walker anywhere near the property, and the firelight that the group huddled around was comforting. Alice wasn't scared right then.

Despite the camaraderie around the fire, Alice didn't sit with them. The smoker sat at the edge of the small village of tents with crossed legs and a cigarette in hand. It was only the appearance of Daryl, a look on his face that Alice knew too well, that drew her from her thoughts.

"You got an extra smoke?"

Alice nodded, holding her own between her lips as she slipped another out of the pack and held it towards him. He took it, and Alice avoided his eyes as he nodded in thanks.

"No luck with Sophia, then." She stated.

"Nah, but we're gonna find that little girl." Daryl dropped to a sitting position, fishing in his pockets for his lighter, "'s only the woods of Georgia."

She smiled, "You have a lot of hope, considering everything."

"Ain't no reason not to," Daryl took a long pull from his cigarette, "You feelin' like Andrea?"

"I don't want to die." Alice furrowed her brows, "But I don't know if I want to live as some sort of monster. I'm not sure if I can."

"What's it with you people and all this good or bad bullshit?" Daryl shook his head, "Ain't so hard to do the right thing,"

Alice pursed her lips, "And if a time comes when it's not clear?"

Daryl let out a small huff, "You people an' yer damn right or wrong shit."

"I'm serious," Alice chewed her thumb as she watched the way he lounged, only his stiff posture betraying the couldn't-care-less way he lounged. She appreciated the way his arm muscles flexed as he lifted his hand to smoke.

"We jus' gotta focus on our own survival," Daryl looked away, "These people left my brother fer dead- for their own lives. I had ta get on board with it."

"Merle's out there, somewhere." Alice's gut writhed. Merle had more than likely died alone, scared and abandoned, from his wound or walkers. Corpse far from his brother, waiting for the person who would never come to discover it. Daryl believed in Merle's life though, and Alice put enough stock in his hope to dissuade the thoughts, "Isn't it weird, who ended up being in this group?"

"Whadd'ya mean?"

"If we're going off the surface, I mean - A redneck, a reporter, a civil right's attorney, a housewife, two cops and their lover, a kid, an old man, a farm full of churchgoers," Alice counted on her fingers, going through the group, "None of it matters now. We're just people. The living."

"An' what, you make a habit of judgin' people like that?" Daryl was scowling, like he was wounded. Alice was almost tired of him finding every excuse to take offence, yet some part of her wanted to grab him and tell him that the world wasn't against him like he thought.

"No," she took a drag of her cigarette, smoke blowing out of her lungs in a harsh stream a moment later, "I loved to write about people. About how much more they were than the basics of their label or their story. About the broken people that we forgot about."

"You know anythin' about bein' - broken?" Daryl shook his head, "People jus' get on with it. Knew a guy once, a good friend 'a Merle. His old woman went crazy, drowned their baby girl in the tub," the hunter's gaze hardened, "Guy never was the same after that. Spent more time high than he did sober."

"I'm sorry," Alice breathed. She'd been hearing a lot of bad stories about Before today, and it made her wonder if you could just keep on going after that stuff. But - what if you couldn't come back from experiencing those things? What if you just lost a part of yourself so big that you broke?

"The hell you sorry for? You didn' know 'im."

"No, but I'm sorry that he had to feel that pain," Alice stubbed out the remains of her burnt out smoke, lighting another, "A lot of people must be hurting in this world. I'm just sorry that there's nothing anyone can do,"

She cast her eyes past the tents to where Shane sat beside Rick around the fire. To Andrea beside Dale. Then to the house, where somewhere inside a widow was weeping for her dead husband.

"Ya do what you can ta help 'em," Daryl met her eyes, and she saw the genuine concern for the group that lay in his, "Food, shelter - hope, ya get 'em what they need."

"You're proper smart, you know. Don't sell yourself short."

"You sayin' I ain't suppose ta be?"

"You act like everything I say is an insult," Alice rolled her eyes, climbing to her feet, "It's not. I have a lot of respect for you, actually."

Daryl was quiet, before dismissing what she'd said completely, "You goin' somewhere?"

"To sleep. It's going to take me awhile so I might as well get a head start." She smiled, and quietly said, "Goodnight, Daryl."

There was a pause, and heat crawled up Alice's spine. Embarrassed, she turned and made to move away. It was only when she'd taken her first few steps that she heard the quiet mutter behind her. The grin stretched across her face as she repeated the words in her head, "Night, Alice".

* * *

Alice awoke slowly, eyes squinting open. She was foggish, somewhat overwhelmed by the light glowing through the tent's fabric. Her hand reached out, touching the interior of the tent, and Alice grimaced as she felt the moisture of condensation. The sound of fabric shifting filled the tent as she rolled, turning to see Shane taking up the middle of the tent yet again. He had a habit of doing that, and Alice didn't know what compelled him to find the most space to take up in his sleep but it had stopped being funny and started getting on her nerves; she couldn't get up without stumbling over him.

She sat up, grabbing new clothes from her bag, before slinking back into her sleeping bag and attempting the gymnastic process of changing inside of it. Times like this, Alice sort of wished she had the tent to her self.

Her hair brushed against the side of the tent, and she let out a small groan as she reached up and felt where the condensation had dampened it. The movement of Shane's eyes behind his eyelids gave her pause, and Alice started noticing that his right hand was twitching in his sleep, too. A dream, or a nightmare.

' _I shot him in the leg'_ Alice recalled his words, and leaned over him to gently put her hands on his shoulders, shaking him. He didn't stir, instead letting out a mumble as his left arm flipped over his face, and Alice gently pushed him again.

"Shane, I don't know what you're dreaming about but... Just wake up, come on. Shane, Shane, get up you twat."

She smiled triumphantly when his eyes fluttered open, though it didn't last long. His eyes were wet, and Alice suddenly felt obnoxious leaning over him. She shifted back, shuffling out of her sleeping bag now that she was dressed. Alice was quiet as she pulled her boots on and began lacing them.

"You know I was havin' a nightmare?" he asked, his voice low.

"I had an idea," Alice mumbled, quickly tying a bow in her lace, "You okay?"

"I'll be fine," Shane yawned, sitting up and rubbing his hands over his face, "You up for more training today?"

"What about the search?" she asked, keeping her eyes firmly on Shane's face. His sleeping bag had pooled around his waist when he'd sat up, and while Alice wasn't really attracted to Shane, there was no denying that the man was in shape. She didn't want to be caught up eyeing up his bare chest.

"Do a lil' trainin' now, before we head out. My leg still ain't great so chances are I'm jus' drivin' around again," Shane ran a hand over his 22 necklace, "Andrea said she's on watch today, so she won't be helpin' me."

"I suppose that's your invite?" Alice stood, grabbing the tent zip, "I'm going to go and find Dale and his sun cream before I fry some more. And yeah, I'll tag along with you."

She crawled out of the tent, a small wash bag in one hand, and observed the camp. It was actually earlier than she'd expected, and the camp was fairly quiet still. That spurred her to be quiet as she headed towards the containers of water near the burned out firepit, intending to brush herself. She could see a map with scribbles all over it abandoned on a chair and knew this was going to be a long day.

* * *

Alice slammed the car door behind her. The volume of the noise made her flinch, but Alice merely shrugged it off and kept walking. Their patrol of the highway had brought nothing, and her suggestion to check out nearby areas had been slammed down by Shane. Not only had he completely destroyed her in training, but he'd rebutted her every suggestion, and Alice just wasn't feeling too generous with her patience today.

"You gotta calm down, Alice," Shane called.

"Do you even wanna find this little girl?" she hissed, "We could have driven a little further, looked a little harder, but no - we have to get back to the ground, so says King Shane. Can you just fuck off right now?"

"'Course I do, but it seems to me I'm the only one who wants to face the reality that maybe she just isn't gonna be found," Shane rubbed his head, "We cannot just risk our lives over a ghost in the woods."

"Have a little hope, Shane," Alice rolled her eyes, despite how much she sort of thought they wouldn't find Sophia alive either, "I'm going out again."

"With who?"

"I don't know," Alice scowled, "Why don't you come with me?"

"You wanna go searchin' for ghosts in the woods?" Shane's eyes darkened, "You and I both know that it's been too long. That little girl is long gone. Critical period, first forty-eight hours, that is over."

"Do you ever have just a little hope?" Alice glanced around, saw Rick on the porch of the farmhouse watching them. She lowered her voice, "We at least need to find Carol some closure. Come looking with me."

He leaned back, one hand rubbing the back of his neck, "Fine. But you gotta understand somethin' - I am all about hope. But this world? We don't get any free passes. We gotta fight for survival."

"I know-" A shout interrupted her, sounding again.

"Walker!" Andrea cried from her position atop the RV. Alice began running towards her at the same time that Shane did, and behind them Rick sprinted from the porch.

"Don't shoot," Rick was yelling, "Don't shoot."

Shane and Rick headed out past Alice to join T-Dog running into the field, and Alice hung back. As she rounded the RV and saw the figure out in the fields, visibly dirty and bloodied even from here, she heard the shot. It echoed across the fields.

The figure fell, and Alice spun to yell up at Andrea, "You stupid cunt, you could have just drawn every walker for miles down on this farm!"

"Oh my god," Andrea choked, and Alice looked back out after the men to see that they were supporting the body, running back with it. T-Dog had a crossbow in his hand.

"Tell me you didn't just shoot Daryl Dixon," Alice called, and was met with Andrea shaking.

"I did, oh my god. I thought he was a walker." Andrea said.

"Bollocks," Alice took of running towards the house, yelling, "Hershel! Daryl's been shot!"

Maggie was on the porch, and she took off inside as Alice leaped up the steps. She slammed the screen door open, causing it to bounce off the house and slam behind her. Hershel and Maggie were stood at the table.

"Daryl. He was shot." Alice panted. Hershel nodded, hastily walking towards the cabinet where they kept the medical supplies.

"Where was he shot?"

"I don't know. Andrea thought he was a walker." Hershel's face soured, but Alice thought it was from the fact they'd shot their own.

Shane and Rick burst through the door carrying Daryl, and Alice felt the fear that had been covered by adrenaline spike when she saw the wound on his head. Blood was trickling down his forehead.

"He's breathing," Shane said at the sight of Alice's face. Her eyes were wide, her mouth dropped open.

"Put him in there," Hershel ordered, gesturing to a door down the hall from where they'd had Carl, "Maggie, get Patricia. I need you two to put him down and then stay out of our way. We're gonna need room."

Alice sat down at the kitchen table, palming her eyes. Daryl had been shot in the head. If he died-

Alice forced that thought down. Daryl was fine. No one kills Merle but Merle- Daryl was just as tough as his brother. He'd be ok.

She just had to wait and see.

* * *

 **A/N : In hindsight, the older chapters of this are a complete MESS. I know I was excited to upload things but seriously - ouch. I've been working on editing those, so this chapter is a lot shorter and took a lot longer for that reason.**

 **Dale's a little suspicious, Rick's a little suspicious, everyone's a little suspicious. Do you think Dale will catch Shane out in his lie, or not? I love Shane's storyline in the show no matter how much it destroys my heart (he's just so emotionally complex and on the second watch, isn't so bad) but I don't intend to stick to it like a script.**

 **How does everyone feel about Alice's relationships with the members of the group? Is she choosing bad company?**

 **I hope you enjoyed! If you think it deserves it, please follow/favourite/review. If you didn't enjoy, let me know why! 3 thanks for reading!**

 **P.s. I'm drunk right now and think publishing this chapter is a great idea. I'll hope my lack of editing works wonders ooops.**


	12. 12 - Dead Men Tell No Tales

**Part 2 - Disunity**

 **12 - Dead Men Tell No Tales**

 _WARNING - Contains mentions of suicide attempts/death/young persons death/hints at domestic abuse/alcohol use and finally, mentions of rape. There are just a lot of negative topics, so please don't read this if a mention of any of these topics will harm your mental health. 3_

* * *

"C'mon girl, you don't need to look so stressed now," Shane sat opposite her, perched in the armchair that she didn't think he quite realised Otis had been sat in the night that he died. His elbows rested on his thighs as he leaned forward to get her attention.

Alice's knuckles were white as she clasped her hands together, pain in her knuckles from the pressure she was exerting, "Andrea shot Daryl in the head. I know you want a piece of that, but seriously, that's not okay."

"An' Hershel is lookin' after him, right? We're all worried with you, don't mean you need to sit here lookin' like you're gonna kill the poor woman. We both know she regrets what she did," Shane ran his hand over his jaw, "If Hershel could save Carl, he can sure save Daryl from a little graze on the head."

"You don't even like him that much," Alice scowled, "Why don't you go comfort Andrea?"

"Now that is just cold-"

"He was shot in the head - even walkers can't survive that. You're acting like it's fine when he might _die_." Alice met his brown eyes through her squinted ones. She knew how irrational she'd been all day, and yet she couldn't help herself. A horrid tightness was in her chest, balling up in fury and lashing out of her at everything and everyone.

"Girl, he's in good hands," Shane let out a small laugh, "Dixon managed to get himself all the way back here in his condition - I reckon' he can survive a couple stitches."

"We can't lose anymore people," she said. Shane eye's softened, and he gave her a slight nod of agreement. No one else could die, especially not Daryl. They couldn't let that happen.

Alice looked up at the sound of the hallway door. The familiar form of Carol stepped through, a question drawn across her face. The scent of roast potato and chicken drifted into the room through the now open doorway.

"Has Hershel been out?" Carol asked, her voice louder and her shoulders stood taller than ever. She got stronger every day, like she wasn't so afraid to take up physical space anymore. Alice hated Ed. It may be wrong to speak ill of the dead, but the woman didn't care when it came to the woman-beating bastard that had been Ed Peletier. Alice knew that Carol's ordeal was far from over; abuse left scars that took a long, long time to properly heal.

"Not yet," Alice said. Carol had been in and out frequently to check if they knew Daryl's progress. He'd been hurt out there looking for Sophia so it didn't surprise Alice that Carol was so concerned. She wanted to tell Carol it wasn't her fault but didn't have the words, not when she wasn't entirely sure why she was so worked up about Daryl herself.

"Thank you," Carol turned to leave, but Alice stopped her.

"Uh, Carol, do you need some help? I can't cook well- I mean I can kind of bake, but not really- but uh, I want to help if you, uh, if you need it." She stumbled over the words. Truth was, Alice couldn't look Carol in the eye when such a large part of her believed that Sophia was gone. It hurt too much to see the same look in the mother's gaze, too.

"We have plenty pairs of hands, don't you worry," Carol gave her a soft smile and stepped from the room, never once glancing down at Shane.

"You tryin' to become a housewife or what?" He smirked, "Might be best that we get on outside and get some work done,"

"I'm going to stay here - wait for Daryl," Alice said. Shane's brows furrowed at that, but he stood and nodded to himself.

"You come an' let us know if anythin' happens, then." He said, stepping out of the very same door that Carol had just closed. He was harsh with the door, causing it to thud against it's frame.

A small book sat on the wooden table besides the couch that the journalist perched on; a bible. Alice picked it up, the pages oddly smooth as she ran her hand over the edge, turning it to a familiar page. She'd never been religious but her father had and he'd insisted she at least consider a belief in God. z

 _'John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.'_

Alice thought of Daryl, lay upstairs with a wound in his side and a bullet wound on his head, because he'd been out searching for Sophia. She thought of Shane, who'd sacrificed a part of himself for Carl - and in turn Otis, who had unwillingly lost his life for the boy. It seemed awful, that this was how it was. People dying, left and right. Alice had never seen so much death. Before this, she'd only seen two dead bodies; her grandmother in her open casket, and her best friend who'd died when she was too busy not paying attention. Now they were everywhere, reminding Alice that death was steadily moving closer. The farm felt safe, though.

They would need to find warmer clothes and sleeping bags for winter; Alice figured Hershel wouldn't make them leave now, but it didn't mean they'd be able to get inside. The house wasn't big enough for so many people to live comfortably. Maybe they could plan a run, once they'd found Sophia, to another hiking store.

The sound of footsteps on the old, creaking stairs had Alice looking up to the closed door. It slipped open slowly, revealing the flowered white wallpaper of the hallway before swinging open enough that she could see Hershel's form. "He's stable. You're lucky that he only needed one transfusion from you."

"He's stable for now, or for good?"

"As far as I can tell, he's going to be just fine," Hershel said, "He should wake up soon."

"Thank you," Alice said, "Could you let Carol know, please? I want to go in- see him- if that's okay."

"Of course," Hershel gave her a small smile, "If his condition changes at all, or he's in pain, come and get me as soon as you can."

Alice agreed to Hershel's terms before slipping through the doorway he'd just vacated to get up the stairs. Daryl was in the first room on the right which she knew because she'd tried to get up there twice before being talked down by Shane. Inside, Hershel had drawn the curtains to let Daryl sleep and the room's lighting was dull. Alice could just make out Daryl's form bundled under the sheets, a bandage wrapped around his head.

She took up beside the bed, in a small armchair that she pulled from the corner, and waited.

* * *

Alice had nearly fallen asleep herself. The room had grown darker due to the evening light and Alice had flicked on the small bedside lamp. It illuminated part of the room in a golden light, and gave Alice a view of the silver scar on Daryl's shoulder that just barely peeked above the sheets. It was old, but deep, and looked as though it crept further down his chest than she could see now.

Alice wasn't brave enough, or cruel enough, to pull the sheets aside and look. Scars were personal, she knew that better than most. She'd been theorizing though, and she'd come to the conclusion of a motorbike accident or a knife fight. The journalist knew she was jumping to conclusions, and being judgemental, but she'd found herself with nothing better to do in the time waiting. Why her mind drew itself back to Daryl repeatedly she wasn't sure, but it couldn't be so wrong to be curious?

"Daryl?" she asked at the sight of his eyes twitching. She'd done this maybe a dozen times, all without result, yet this time his eyes continued to twitch and then flutter open. His sleepy gaze found hers, "Daryl, do you want some water?"

"Nah - What d'you want?" he growled, confusion on his face. His hands clutched the sheets and pulled them up around his neck, covering the lone scar that Alice had caught sight of.

"You got hurt looking for Sophia- and then Andrea shot you. She thought you were a walker. Do- do you remember everything?" Alice said, "You better not tell me to go away, considering you've got a good pint of my blood in your veins."

"Yeah, I remember," he said, "Damn horse threw me into the creek, landed on one of my own damn arrows. Had ta pull it out to shoot a walker."

Alice's eyebrows shot up, and her hand covered her mouth. She didn't have words for the visual she had in her mind of Daryl, pulling an arrow from his side because it was his only weapon.

"Andrea best start thinkin' a ways to kiss my ass," he said, the side of his mouth pulled upwards in a slight smirk.

"I can't believe you pulled an arrow out of your side. Scratch that, I can't believe you pulled an arrow out of your side, killed a walker with it, and crawled out of the creek and all the way back here," Alice said, "You're a badass, huh. I guess 'no one kills Merle but Merle' extends to you, too?"

"We're Dixon's, it's in our blood," His eyes moved to the small cotton pad taped to the crook of her elbow, "Ya really give blood for me?"

"You didn't need much - but yeah. Of course I did."

"Thanks," he shrugged, and a grimace crossed his face at the movement.

"It hurt a lot? Hershel said to get him-"

"Nah, I'm good." Daryl interrupted, "What's a man gotta do around here ta get some food, get shot twice?"

"It's nearly done - the women worked together to cook a big meal in the farm's kitchen." Alice said, "I can eat up here with you, if you want."

"Nah, you go eat with all yer friends," Daryl settled into the pillows, his head sunk between his shoulders as though he was making himself as small as possible.

"I don't mind eating up here," Alice said.

"Nawh," Daryl cast his eyes down for a moment, "'least I got white sheets. You seen those ugly flowery things they got downstairs?"

"Yeah, I'm not too fond of floral." Alice smiled, but it slowly receded into a frown, "They said that you came back with Sophia's doll and everyone was wondering if you found her, you know, gone."

"What's it take for people to have a little damn hope?" Daryl narrowed his eyes, "Found 'er doll in the creek, ain't gonna be long before I find that little girl too."

Alice's face relaxed, "You should let me come with you next time you go searching. Might not hurt to have someone at your back."

"I can do jus' fine on my own. Don't need people slowin' me down," Daryl kept his narrowed gaze on her, "You think she's dead, too?"

"I think it's more than possible, but I'd like to think that she isn't," Alice bit her nail, "I don't intend to stop looking until we get closure for Carol, one way or the other. Hope doesn't make reality."

"I'mma find that little girl and she's gonna be jus' fine," he scowled, shadows rearranging themselves as the light from the lamp landed on the curves of his face, "Hopin', 's all just a waste of time. Jus' gotta get out there and find 'er."

"I just don't want us to have to lose someone else, especially not a little girl," Alice kept her eyes firmly on her boots as she toed the ground, "When we were leaving Jim - I guess I couldn't say goodbye because it would be one more face to mourn. One more person dying that should have had years more to live."

Alice lifted her eyes to see that the hunter's expression had softened as his blue eyes studied her, looking up and down her hunched frame like he could see something that Alice herself couldn't.

"You always look like that," she muttered,, "Like you can see straight through everyone's bullshit."

"Ain't hard. Observant. Look it up." He was smiling despite his words, "Might learn a thing or two."

"I'm not that oblivious," Alice defended.

"Nah, you got yer own thing. Lookin' at people like ya see all their pain." Daryl looked away from her as he said it, "But you miss everythin' else,"

"Like what?" she gave him a lopsided grin, knowing full well he'd probably know more than her. He was observant; she'd seen the way he looked at everything and listened to everything.

"Glenn an' Maggie been gettin' their rocks off together, that ain't hard ta see. Chinaman's walking round like his dick grew twenty inches. Don't he know that asian's ain't got nothin' down there?"

Alice held back a scoff, "I saw him looking at her like she was some sort of Goddess - and he's Korean."

"I know," Daryl shrugged, "I seen Andrea eyein' up Shane,"

"Shane's the biggest whore left in the world. Won't be long before they get together." Alice smiled, "Suppose it is the end of the world and all,"

"Looks like he's makin' his way 'round camp. I seen you lookin' at Lori an' Shane - 'bout everyone knows about them two by now. But no one seems ta have seen Rick lookin' at Shane like he's gonna kill 'im or somethin'," the frown lines returned to Daryl's forehead, like the small peace he'd felt had evaporated with each word, "They're both actin' like Rick wasn't gon' realise his best friend and his woman been bumpin' uglies."

"You think he knows?" A hard pit formed in Alice's gut. It might be time to convince Shane to, with or without Lori's agreement, tell Rick himself. That was his best friend. Alice still felt guilt for not telling Rick herself, but it wasn't her place and she understood why Shane and Lori had done it. Sort of.

"Yeah, 'course he does."

The room had fallen silent, and Alice ran the tip of her tongue over her dry lips before speaking again, "I noticed you avoidin' me, when you got back to the quarry. Wouldn't speak to me unless you really had to. Not that you'd speak to anyone, but you didn't even want me to help find Merle."

He looked away and stayed mum for a moment, "Jus' thought ya was some stuck up bitch or somethin'." Daryl was squirming under her gaze, his ears tipped pink and his eyes darting around the room to everything but her.

"I should go and see if food is ready. Carol will want to see you, too." Alice said, "She's been coming to see how you were every now and then."

"I ain't a damn freak show, everyone ain't gotta come on in here and look at me," he narrowed his eyes.

"She's worried about you. So was I, but you're as snarky as ever, I see." Alice stood and crossed the room, a prickling on the back of her neck that felt like she was being watched. She turned at the doorway and met his eyes, "Night, Daryl."

"Night, Alice." He grumbled, turning over and away from her as he said it. A small smile played about on her lips as she closed the door and skipped down the steps, two at a time.

"You gotta make all that noise, huh? Sounds like an elephant got loose in here," Alice stopped abruptly, halfway down, at the sight of Shane and Rick at the bottom of the staircase.

She swallowed, "Food ready?"

"Yeah, everyone's gettin' sat down." Shane said, and failed to contain a smirk as he continued, "You're on the kids table with Maggie, Glenn, Beth and Jimmy."

"I hate you," she scowled, "Why isn't Carl on the kids table?"

"He's sitting with his parents - ain't quite as old as those four lovebirds." Shane grinned, "An' you, of course."

"Carol mentioned somethin' about eatin' upstairs with Daryl, you can take her place - if you want some wine." Rick added, casting Shane a tired smile. Alice felt the knot in her gun unravel some, seeing them talk like nothing was wrong. Like Rick was just laughing at Shane's usual bullshit all over again.

"I always want alcohol, Rick. What do you take me for, a nun?"

"We gotta be careful, now." Shane added, "Hershel don't agree so much with alcohol in his house. Wine was the limit."

"Shane, you drink like a horse, man," Rick laughed, "You better watch yourself tonight."

"Only wine, I'll be good," Shane said, and followed Rick through to the dining room. The room was crowded with people, most of the space taken up by the large dining table and the smaller two tables that had been pushed together for the 'kids'. Alice was happy to see that Shane had situated himself between Rick and Andrea, and currently had a hand resting on the back of her chair. Dale sat next along to the right beside Andrea, and was sending uncomfortable glances towards Shane's intruding limb.

The only free seat was further left, past Rick and Lori. Alice begrudgingly made her way around the back of the table, pausing only to whisper in Shane's ear, "Be careful, Dale looks like he might take that shotgun of yours and shoot you with it."

"I don't give a damn that-" Shane stopped himself, his eyes catching Hershel's on the other side of the table. Hershel didn't approve of swearing, especially not damning or using the lord's name in vain. Alice was vaguely aware that both Andrea and Lori were scowling at her and winced as she realized that it looked an awful lot like she'd propositioned Shane for something else.

"Sorry," she felt a blush creep up her cheeks and scurried along, taking her seat between Carl and T-Dog.

"Are you and Uncle Shane telling secrets?" Carl loudly asked, "Momma tells me that it's not polite to whisper."

"No, Carl, I - uh…" she spluttered, not knowing what to say. She was regretting telling Shane then, rather than later.

"Are you and Uncle Shane boyfriend and girlfriend?" Carl asked again, then lowered his voice to the level that a child thought was a secret level but never really was, "Dad used to whisper things to mom, and then they'd go upstairs and do boyfriend and girlfriend stuff when they thought I was asleep." Alice saw Rick choke on his wine from the corner of her eye. Lori was sat still, and Alice wondered if she thought Carl would mention Shane.

"No, we, uh, we aren't-" Alice became aware that the table was mostly silent, everyone watching the interaction between her and Carl. Dale was the sole exception to the amused table of faces, staring at Shane like he might throw his wine in the officer's face.

"Alice and I are just plannin' a surprise for Daryl," Shane said, leaning forward to see around Rick and Lori, "See bud, we wanted ta make him feel better after his accident."

"Can I help?" Carl asked, glee on his face.

"Yeah bud, but you can't tell Daryl, alright?" Shane rested back into his chair, content. Alice felt like the farmhouse was extraordinarily warm and wondered if it would be suspicious to go outside for some air.

When the table had regained its normal volume, most everyone having already moved on from Carl's insinuations about sex to continue eating, T-Dog leaned in close to Alice to say, "I didn't think that he was your type, but hey, end of the world."

"I'm not shagging Shane, why does everyone think that?" she said quietly, pursing her lips.

"Y'all just real close," T-Dog shrugged, "Share a tent, spend all that time together. Lori was talkin' real loud about how y'all went off to 'fight' earlier and not one of us saw you for a few hours."

"I did actually get him to teach me some self defence. I can see the appeal, sneaking off to 'fight' and all that, but it's not the truth of it. Body isn't everything, not anymore." She shrugged, "A few months back, in the normal world? Yeah, I can see myself dancing with Shane, getting up to shit we shouldn't- but I changed a lot, even before this, and I'm just not that person anymore. Just not into that self-destructive shit anymore."

"I'm with you there, you really gotta fall in love with a person's mind." T-Dog said, "My parents were like that. Just hopin' I can still find myself a woman whose mind I can't ever get enough of."

"That's sweet," Alice smiled, but lowered her voice so it was basically a mumble as she continued, "Yeah. Yeah, there's something different between friendship love and romantic love, and Shane just doesn't fall in the latter. I get how it looks, but- could you, I don't know, gently dissuade people? I don't like how Lori and Andrea look at me. And besides, if I happen to find someone I love, I don't want Shane running around with his shirt unbuttoned as per usual and scaring them off."

"I got you," T-Dog shook his head, "Never thought I'd be back in' the rumour mill after I left high school."

She nodded in agreement, "When I was in school, the rumour that I was pregnant went around twice. I'm used to people saying shit behind my back."

Alice stopped to listen as Rick spoke out, "Hershel, I have a request to ask of you."

The noise around the table died down again, even the clinking of cutlery on the plates coming to an end.

"Shane and I have decided to take our people to a secure off-site location for some proper gun training. We'd be happy for your people to come along too." Rick took a drink of wine, "Shane and I were both sheriff's deputies in Kings County; we're trained in their use, and Shane is a qualified instructor."

"My people don't need to become soldiers. We've been fine this long." Hershel has his eyes squinted, scrutinising Rick.

"All it takes it one thing to go wrong," Rick said, "We all hope that we don't have to use it, but it doesn't hurt to have a little training, just in case."

"Hershel," Patricia, who was sat beside him and opposite Lori, drew the attention of the two tables to her, "Now that Otis is gone, no one but you knows how to shoot, an' you don't shoot. I think we should learn how to defend ourselves."

"Patricia, do you really want this to turn into some sort of basecamp?" Hershel said lowly, but it was still audible to most of the table in the quiet. Even the 'kids table' was listening in.

"I think we should know how. Not everyone is as christian as us, and we all saw the stories of people looting stores and stealing on the news." Patricia said. All these people had really seen of this was the news. Alice frowned. She hoped they wouldn't ever have to see how truly bad it was out there on the road, in the city.

"Okay," Hershel submitted, "My farm will not be turning into an armed camp. I will not allow weapons to be carried around on my property, but I can see the sense in this."

"Thank you," Rick nodded, "Patricia, Jimmy, Beth, Maggie, you are all welcome to join us tomorrow morning for shooting practice."

"Thank you," Patricia said. The atmosphere never really recovered.

"Does anyone play the guitar?" Dale asked, clearly trying to brighten the mood.

A beat of silence, then Patricia said, "Otis did," Alice cast her eyes over to Shane. His face was almost expressionless, as though all of the emotion gravitated into his eyes. He was pushing it inside of himself to avoid showing it.

"Do you play, Beth?" Alice drew the attention away from Shane and Otis to herself, "I swear that I heard you singing the other night.

"I haven't played the guitar since middle school," Beth said, "I jus' play piano now."

Alice nodded and looked back down to her half-empty plate. This was going to be a long meal. The tension of guns, Sophia, and Hershel's seeming reluctance to keep them around was thick in the air, visible in every clipped conversation.

Alice didn't miss Hershel glaring at Glenn and Maggie and she sure didn't miss him pass her a note when they thought Hershel wasn't looking. She didn't miss the way that Lori snarled at Shane behind Rick's back, either. Observant. Daryl was right, there was something to it.

* * *

Shane and Alice walked back towards the tents slowly, taking their time in the night air. They'd left in the midst of everyone else, but hung back from the other small groups as they walked.

"I could use a drink," she said, "something more than wine."

"Ain't it a good thing I thought to rescue some vodka an' Bacardi from the CDC, huh?"

Alice stopped walking, raising her head to stare him out, "You've had alcohol this entire time?"

"I grabbed it thinkin' I'd drink myself to sleep," Shane said, "What I didn't know is that was savin' it from a fiery death.

"You want to go to the pond, out in the fields? It's safe out there," Alice said. Shane nodded, and after a moment of planning he left her to get what they needed from their tent while she had a smoke.

When he returned, they started walking out into the fields. She smiled at the sight of her fleece and his jacket, both rolled up and concealing everything but the metal tops of the bottles. She took them from him, holding one under each arm, while he carried the camping lantern and her axe.

"Why were you going to drink alone, at the CDC?" Alice finally blurted out, when they were most of the way through the fields. She could see the shadow of a cow's form silhouetted against the night sky, but not what was before her.

He turned the lantern on then, them finally needing the light to cut the full darkness, "Ain't like anyone else in this group wants ta drink with me."

"Shane-"

"Nawh, we both know it," Shane hunched his shoulders, "What do you call it, someone all on their own? Everyone looks at me weird now, girl."

"Pariah," Alice added, taking a long drag from her cig, "An outcast. Someone not accepted by a group."

"Sounds about right," he said, "I don't think they see what this world is. What we gotta do to survive. It's just me."

"You aren't alone," Alice said, but stopped talking in order to focus as they approached the dock. Shane raised the lantern, stalking back and forth to check there were no walkers around. Alice didn't expect any, though, because there hadn't been a single walker on the farm since they'd arrived and from the sounds of it, not ever.

The light reflected in the water as they crossed the deck, sitting down at the end. The glow of the camping lantern illuminated the space around them and part of the small lake's water, leaving them in a small bubble of light that was surrounded by the thick of night on all sides. Alice absentmindedly ran her fingertips around the worn smooth wood, feeling the occasionally grooves where something had cut into it.

When the dock creaked under Shane's movements, Alice took a moment to pause. She knew the dock was safe, and a collapsed dock in a pond like this was nothing compared to walkers, but she still worried for just a minute.

Alice put the bottles down, unrolling the warm layers that coddled them. She grabbed the vodka, only pausing to look up at Shane who was staring into the water at the reflection that stared back.

"You're not alone. I mean that," Alice put a hand on his shoulder, "They just don't understand. Things are not going to go back to the way they where, and at the minute I'm starting to think that you're the only one who gets that. I don't think even I've really registered it yet. Everyone's just keeping house here, acting like we can have a normal life."

He said nothing, still staring back at his own reflection like he didn't know the man in it, and she continued, "We can get close to normality but things have to change."

"I done things I knew I couldn't live with," Shane muttered, but snatched his eyes away from the reflection and settled himself on the deck, grasping the bottle of Bacardi. Alice spared a moment, after she screwed up her face from the first swig of burning vodka, to look at the stars. They were so bright here.

"You can live with it. I know you can." She said, "Don't give up."

"Look, there's Mars," she nudged him with her elbow, "See how it's so bright, and not flickering?"

"I'd Mars has more life than Earth right about now," Shane was smirking, but still followed the point of her arm to the glowing orb.

"The god of War, the planet of survival instinct, animal nature and all of that," Alice said.

"Pretty accurate time for it to be lookin' down on us then."

"I always wondered if Earth glows blue from Mars, like how it looks orange to us," Alice said, imagining for a moment that she was stood on red rock, red sand blowing about herself, as she looked up through a clear sky to the reflective blue of Earth's oceans, shining down to her. Anything to get away from Earth.

"And I think that's Pisces - Looks like it." Alice continued, tracing the constellations with her eyes, "Pisces is an autumn constellation. That would make it like October time."

"You see Virgo anywhere?"

"I don't think it's in the sky anymore, not if it's October time," Alice said, "That's your constellation?"

"Yeah, September 20," Shane ran a hand over his head.

"We must have missed your birthday," Alice creased her brows, "I'm sorry. How old?"

"34," He took another drink, "Hadn't even thought about not bein' 33 'til now."

"Fuck this world," Alice took a drink, hissed at the burn, "I wonder what our horoscopes would say about running for our bloody lives."

Shane nodded, and they went quiet for a moment. Alice took the moment to slip a cigarette between her lips while trying her best to ignore the near-emptiness of the pack. Warmth flooded over face from the lighter, a moment of blinding light that her eyes had to readjust from.

"A girl I used to see was really into all this fate stuff, used to read my palm lines and everything. How do you know all this stuff, you into that too?"

"My mum used to love constellations and horoscopes," Alice smiled, remembering, "I'm December 6th, so she used to tell me how Sagittarius' like me were generous, and loved to travel. How I could do anything, so long as I wanted it. I think I let her down."

"Don't talk like that, girl." Shane said, taking a drink of his Bacardi, "Pretty hard to let your parents down. No matter how hurt my mama got as time went on and I hadn't found a girl to bring home to her, she still said she was proud of me. I don't think parents are in the business of bein' let down by their kids."

"Thanks," Alice said, "You know, the story of Pisces is something about two greek gods transforming into fish to run away from a threat."

"What, they just got up and became fish to save their lives?"

"Yeah, I think."

"Reckon I'd rather stay and fight with the ones I love than become a fish," Shane commented. There was a slowness to his words that Alice knew well to be an effect of the alcohol. She felt it too, though. Her lip was partially numb when she bit it, and that's how she knew.

"Even if staying meant that it'd kill you?"

"Yeah," Shane said.

Alice took a drag of her cigarette, the the smoke whitish as it reflected the light of the lantern, "Daryl thinks that Rick knows about you and Lori."

"What?"

"Sorry," Alice looked away, "You should tell him. He's your brother, Shane."

"Don't think I can face him," Shane whispered, "I never even looked at her before this- not before the highway into Atlanta. Not until after she was cryin' in my arms and she was all I had to hold onto."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Shane." Alice stubbed out her cig and shifted forward, pulling his free hand from where it sat on his knee to clasp it between hers. She met his eyes, imploring his brown eyes to meet hers back, "What you did for his family, that outweighs everything. You left everything behind for them."

"I tried to get him out of that hospital, but there were walkers and the military shooting the living and I could not hear a heartbeat," his voice cracked, "But I didn't know for sure, knew I couldn't live with leavin' him behind but I had to. Blocked the door with a gurney."

"You remember Rick's story from Atlanta, right?" Alice said, "He said that it was still blocking the door when he left. He doesn't know that was you. You probably saved his life."

"I just left him there," his voice cracked, "Knew I'd never forgive myself for it but I _had to_. For Lori, for Carl. My grandma Jean, she was already gone. They were all I had."

"You don't have to blame yourself for this, Shane," Alice said, "You have to forgive yourself, for _everything_ or it'll destroy you."

"Why don't we talk about you, huh?" Shane's eyes closed off, that soft vulnerability swallowed by the pain as it hardened in his eyes, "What're you preaching to me for, exactly?"

"Delia didn't just die - she…" Alice took a breath, "They raped her first. Then they shot her. And I sat there and I didn't move and I waited for them to leave. I didn't do anything. I know that if I had done something, I'd be dead, but it doesn't change that I hate myself for it."

"I didn't know," Shane said, "That why you're so scared 'a people?"

"I guess. I don't know why I wasn't scared of Glenn - I guess I was desperate. Or I assumed that he wasn't a bad guy," She let go of his hand to grab the vodka and took a swig that made her swallow to dissipate the feeling like she might puke. "When I was a kid, a friend died. Choked on their own vomit in their sleep because we were all too drunk to see. That guilt is part of why, three years ago, I tried to kill myself. I should have died but I had what everyone but me thought was a miracle."

"Alice-"

"Don't."

He stayed quiet, as did she, and they just drank. Alice didn't know how long they sat there quietly, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was just heavy with the weight she'd thrown off of her shoulders and onto his. Alice hadn't told anyone what happened to Delia, not fully. She'd been telling herself over and over that it didn't happen the way it did but it had happened and she had to live with it. She had to.

"I keep havin' this dream, maybe you know something about those," Shane began, his head hung down as he played with his bottle of Bacardi on the dark dock, "Otis is there. He's a walker, all torn up, and he tells me I'm going to die. An' then he bites me and I wake up, or I keep on dreaming something worse."

"It's probably the stress of everything," Alice drank again. Her head was swimming but she just wanted to numb everything.

"See, I thought that. But you remember Jim, right?" Shane ran a hand over the back of his neck, "He had a dream that people were going to die at the quarry. Believed it so much that he started diggin' graves while the rest of you were off finding Merle Dixon. And what do you know, that night, we lose over half the camp."

"He probably had dreams about death a lot. Fate isn't real."

"See, I don't know," Shane whispered, "I've started believin' that Otis might be right. That I'm gonna die. Dead men tell no tales, after all."

"You won't die," Alice tried to breathe to release the hard knot in her gut, "You can and will survive this. I promise."

Promising life in this world was impossible when death walked around, taking and taking and taking from the living until there was nothing left. Alice promised anyway. She'd keep everyone in this group alive by any means necessary.

"You can't promise that, girl."

"I can try," Alice said, and moved her eyes back to Mars.

* * *

 **A/N - ok, so not a whole lot happens in this chapter action-wise but a lot of the scenes content is... important. I'm not going to go into any more detail on that :).**

 **I really hope that you all enjoyed this chapter - if you did, or if you didn't, it'd be great to have some feedback. Let me know what you hated or liked! I'd also love to see what people think is going to happen plotwise, knowing that I'm going to be changing some of the canon plot beats. :)**

 **Thank you again for reading, and thank you so so so so so so so s much to the people who followed, favourited and reviewed this story. I love you all.**


	13. 13 - The Most Qualified to Live

**Part 2 - Disunity**

 **13 - The Most Qualified to Live**

* * *

The sunlight stung Alice's eyes as she rested her back against the front of the Hyundai, the heat of the metal burning her back with an almost uncomfortable warmth.

"You nervous?"

Alice let out a short, false laugh as she looked over to Andrea. She was terrified. She'd shot Jonathan's corpse, but that was it. She wasn't sure that she would ever understand guns or be able to shoot walkers down the way that Rick and Shane could.

"Just a bit," Alice said.

"I can't wait," Andrea said, joining her against the bonnet of the green car. They were in a large field, near a fence at the edge of the property of a long-dead farmer. The fields were calming, though the wood line at their backs did Alice's mind no help. If she let herself then she could imagine a herd stumbling out of those trees.

"Can't wait for Shane to teach you, or just can't wait to shoot?" Alice smirked.

Andrea's jaw went slack for a moment before she pursed her lips, "I want to learn to shoot so I can do my duty in protecting our camp."

"Alright," Alice said. There was a quiet but steady drumbeat being played on the inside of her skull, shortening her patience by the second. Andrea's intentions of group duty were honorable but poorly executed, what with the way she stormed around and acted like she was some sort of bonafide badass. And, Alice had caught her staring at Shane more than once just that morning - there was no need for her to act so high and mighty.

Still, Alice reminded herself, Andrea was trying her best to do what had to be done. That was more than they could say for others, who would prefer to act like the whole situation was some form of twisted adult summer camp.

"I think they're getting ready to start," Andrea added. Her eyes were narrowed, likely because she'd noticed Alice's stiff reply, but the journalist didn't care.

"Lucky us," Alice sighed, pushing herself off the bonnet of the Hyundai and walking over the uneven dirt to the semicircle forming around Rick and Shane.

"The first thing y'all gotta hear is that while we're firing on this makeshift range here if you hear 'Stop!' you stop firing, you put the safety on if your weapon has one and you put that weapon down. That clear? You only fire when Rick an' I say and if we yell stop, y'all stop." Shane looked in his element before all of them, doing something he must have done a hundred times Before in a more conventional setting. If she'd heard right, Shane had been a qualified instructor before all of this.

"…This is a weapon. You do not point it at something or someone unless you intend to pull the trigger, is that clear?" Shane continued. Alice wondered if, when he'd shot Otis in the leg he'd hesitated before he shot or if he'd already known he was going to do it before he'd even moved his gun in that direction.

* * *

It was Rick, not Shane, who hovered behind Alice as she shot. Sure, she felt more comfortable with Shane, but the thinly veiled frustration on the sheriff deputy's face told her enough. If it had been Shane then he'd have voiced to her how completely shite she was by now. Rick, on the other hand, seemed content with being kind, for now.

"Told you, Rick. I couldn't hit a walker between the eyes if it walked into the barrel of my gun," Alice said, lowering the gun to her side. It was one he'd brought from the station, of a type Alice wasn't aware. Rick had told her but it had gone right over her head.

She slipped her finger from the pistol grip quickly, switching the safety on, all whilst ignoring Rick's expectant gaze.

"You remembered it that time," Rick quietly praised her, "You handle the weapon pretty well for how new you are to it - the problem is more your aim and your trigger jerking."

"Oh, now you're going to insult me?"

"I still see a bottle sat on that fence," Rick said, pointing with his whole hand,"You need to aim down. Take a breath, let half of it out and then hold it before you shoot. This close, whatever you're shooting at will line up in your sights. When you pull that trigger, you edge it until you feel it stop giving and then you fire." He moved a hand to the top of her weapon, pointing out the small foresight atop it.

Alice lifted the gun at Rick's go ahead, doing her best to steady her hands. It was heavy, despite its small size. What had Shane said?

 _Things are so heavy to remind you a' how much power they have. You can kill living people if you gotta, wouldn't be right if you could carry 'em around like feathers in your pocket now would it?_

She'd looked away from him at that in the midst of the explanation. The brokenness of Shane's eyes didn't get easier to look at each time Otis came up. All this talk of guns and shooting was making her heart pound, the secret itching in her throat. Patricia deserved to know. She did.

"You have to focus," Rick said, jolting Alice from her thoughts

She didn't trust herself to speak and instead silently lined the weapon up with the bottle. A little lower with her aim, just like Rick said. Took a deep breath in. Another out and then another in because she panicked and didn't feel ready. This was her fourth shot - if she missed, what did that say? Beth had hit the bottle on her first attempt and Carol on her second - even if it was their natural aim, it made blood pool in Alice's cheeks in shame.

She let out half a breath, thereabouts, and held it. Slowly pulled the trigger instead of jerking it. It clicked, and she pulled again, harder.

 _Bang._

The woman flinched from the feel of the shot jolting her arms and flicked the safety on, dropping her arms to her sides. The glass bottle still perched on the fencepost with a mocking grin.

"For gods sake," Alice threw her head back, stretching out the tense muscles in her neck, "Can't I do anything?"

"Not everyone has deadly aim without practice," Rick said, "Try one more time."

Alice nodded, raised the gun again. _Come on. Make the bloody shot._ She lined up the shot again, changed where she put the bottle in the sights because now she sort of knew how the bullet flew. Adjusted her grip for the kickback, and pulled the trigger.

In the half-second after the loud roar of the shot, the sound of shattering glass made it's way over to Alice. A smile appeared on her face. She turned the safety on, still looking at the empty fencepost where the bottle had been.

"I did it," she laughed, spinning to thrust the gun into Rick's hands, "I hit it-"

Patricia was stood behind her, and Alice had made the mistake of spinning with the barrel pointing away from herself, not down. The gun pointed _right at Patricia._

She imagined Patricia collapsing from a gunshot. Rick pushed the gun, forcing it away from Patricia's general direction, but Alice's blood had already turned to ice as she stumbled back, letting the weapon drop into the long grass.

 _You can kill living people if you gotta._

"Watch where you point your weapon - you alright?" Rick said, but it soundfar awayway to Alice. The woman's blue eyes pierced her, digging for the terrible secret she carried. She'd seen the way Alice pointed the gun at her, seen what kind of person she was. She heard Rick yelling stop.

"I got this, Rick." Shane stepped between her and Patricia, "Don't worry now, some people get a lil' jumpy after they shoot for the first time."

Shane's hand on her back was more forceful than guiding, pushing her away from the line of people watching her. Alice barely registered their movement as she stumbled to keep up with Shane.

"The hell are you playing at?" Shane hissed when they were far enough away, close to the treeline. If she looked past the officer, Alice could see everyone casting them furtive glances.

"I pointed it at her- I- she doesn't deserve any of this Shane," Alice whispered, "Her husband was killed - she - fuck."

Alice, out of words, looked back at Patricia. The woman was looking at her only with concern, not knowing or understanding or hatred.

"I thought she'd figured it out," Alice breathed.

"You gotta control yourself, alright?" Shane said lowly, "Don't you think I struggle every time I see that woman? You ain't got what I did on your shoulders - that's on me, so you gotta control your reactions."

"Yeah, I do." Alice muttered, shoving away from Shane before he could say more. She knew what he'd done was the only thing he could do to save Carl but it didn't make it any easier. It wasn't right but it was necessary for their group, not the Greene's. If Alice was in Patricia's place she'd have tried to kill Shane and herself if she knew they'd been hiding what they had.

"You good now?" Rick asked, his eyes were full of questions.

"I'm fine, just got a little worked up," Alice said, deadpan. She was tired of death, tired of dying, tired of this group. What she wouldn't give for a single twenty-four-hours in her apartment, alone. Hell, anywhere safe would do. The thought of being alone, in all this, that was terrifying, but the farm made it easier to forget just how bad the world was out there.

"You gonna watch Patricia shoot?" Rick asked.

"Yeah," Alice said, already waiting to get back to the farm.

* * *

The first thing Alice noticed when the group returned - observant, as Daryl might say - was that the hunter himself was out of the Greene house. She could see him through the open door of his tent, sprawled out with a book in hand. His recovery must have been going well.

The second thing was that Maggie was sat on the porch steps looking absolutely livid. The scowl on her face could have made Alice self-combust had it been directed at her. No, it seemed to be directed towards where Glenn and Dale sat atop the RV.

The journalist had wanted to ask Daryl about his book but considering Maggie was one of their hosts she thought that keeping her happy with the group was a priority and so made her way over to the white farmhouse.

"I don't suppose you or your family kept track of the date, did you?" Alice pushed.

"September 18, by our count." Maggie drawled, "You wanting something else from us too?" The snark towards the group wasn't something Alice had seen from Maggie before and she wondered what someone had done. Andrea had probably been walking around with her gun again - no, she'd gone for advanced training with Shane.

Alice had figured it was October, what with the way the heat of the Georgian summer had so quickly been accompanied by a cold breeze that gave the air a chill, but they weren't quite there. It meant that they could celebrate something normal, like a birthday, instead of survival. She wondered whether it was worth it to tell Rick. If he didn't care - Alice didn't want to face the repercussions for the group if the two were that far gone from their brotherhood.

"Actually, I do." Alice said, "It's Shane's birthday in two days if you're right. I was wondering if you had a spare birthday card lying around, maybe some banners."

"I don't think so," Maggie rolled her eyes as she spoke.

"What's bothering you?" Alice asked. Maggie shifted on the steps. Her gaze was locked on Glenn and Dale where they sat atop the RV.

"Glenn can't keep secrets," the farm girl said as though it explained everything. It did for Alice; whatever personal thing she'd told Glenn that he'd stupidly parroted to Dale had pissed off Maggie but it meant Hershel would do little more than chase Glenn with a shotgun, were those American films to be believed. Not the best outcome, sure, but Alice would rather deal with a pissed off father than a horde of the undead.

"By the nature of it, I'll assume that you don't want to talk about it, but I am always here if you need."

"Thanks but no thanks."

"Um, I also need to go to town. Can you draw me a map?"

"I'll take you. I need to get off this farm for a while," Maggie stood, "Let me bring the horses around."

Alice shouted in panic as Maggie started moving away, "I can't ride a horse."

"You'll catch on pretty quick," the farm girl said. Alice decided to ignore the whole _horse_ part and moved back to the camp to get her backpack and her ax. While leaning into her tent to grab what she needed, the crunch of footsteps alerted her to someone approaching. She looked back and was surprised to see Lori beside her, a silent question on the mother's face.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked slowly. It was entirely possible that Lori knew that Alice was informed on her affair and Alice didn't want to deal with the fallout if the woman's suspicions of that were confirmed. How far would Lori go to get herself out of this situation?

"I need you to do something for me - privately," Lori said, "Rick can't know."

Alice retreated from the tent, standing and meeting the woman's eyes, "What do you want, Lori?"

"I need you to get me something from town," Lori thrust her hand out, a folded piece of paper pinched between her fingers. Alice stared at it.

"How do you know I'm going to town?"

Lori's cheeks went pink, "I heard you and Maggie talking on my way out of the house."

She'd been eavesdropping, then. Alice narrowed her eyes, snatching the paper from Lori's hand. Her eyes cut back sharply to Lori's after she'd unfolded it.

"Whose is it?"

"It's Rick's," Lori said, voice shaking. Her eyes were wide and unsure as she looked around checking the camp for anyone who might be around. She seemed satisfied with the isolation they had, though Alice knew that the woman had overlooked where Daryl was hidden in his tent an audible distance away from the pair.

"Fuck me, Lori." Alice growled, shoving the paper into the pocket of her jeans, lowing the volume of her voice, "You have got to be joking me right now. You didn't use a condom with either of your fellas?"

"I don't-" Lori was staring at Alice, trying to work out what she knew and what she didn't. If she wasn't so mad then Alice might have laughed at Lori because she knew just about everything now, "What did Shane tell you?"

"Enough," Alice said, "Don't you think you ought to at least have a conversation with your two potential baby daddies about this? It's your body and all but they deserve a simple discussion."

"Rick can't know, about any of it," Lori set her jaw, her eyes wide and fearful, "Shane either. You can't tell them."

"I think he already knows that you fucked his best friend," Alice sighed, "I'll get your pills, but I'm asking you to have a _conversation_ with them."

Lori nodded and spun on her heel, about to walk away.

"Hold on," Alice said, causing the mother to stop and turn back, "Have you actually done a test, got morning sickness, anything?"

She didn't think periods measured much, considering how malnourished they all were in comparison to Before, but Alice knew that tests took around two weeks to come back positive and it took even longer to get morning sickness.

"Yeah," Lori paused, "the smell of cooking meat always made me sick in a morning when I was pregnant with Carl."

Rick had been awake for 12 days. Alice did the maths in her head, twice. Morning sickness took what, two months, a little less than that?

"Then we both know the person you should be speaking to about your fetus isn't your husband," Alice said, "12 days is barely enough time for a pregnancy to even show up on a test, never mind for you to get morning sickness."

Alice turned at the sight of Lori's paled face and walked away, deciding to get a list of what they needed from Carol before she said anything else to the mother. Expecting mother. Soon to not be expecting mother. _What the fuck._

* * *

The horse's muscles shifted under Alice's thighs with every step it took, it's body swaying left to right. Despite how she sat in the saddle with the balls of her feet pushing the stirrups ever so slightly upwards, the way Maggie had shown her, Alice still found her thighs beginning to ache. It was a warm day too, for September, and Alice found sweat running down the back of her neck from the way the sun beat down on them.

"You're telling me that Glenn did this all the way here?" Alice said, listening to the steady clack of the horse's hooves on the road. The town was small enough that it barely warranted roadsigns. The biggest feature, a building with old painted letters calling out 'Hatlin's Bar', looked the most untouched. The rest of the town looked as though looters had blown through, front windows smashed and pages of newspaper and wrappers blowing about. Alice saw an abandoned wallet on the ground, green notes bulging out of it, but kept on moving beside Maggie.

"You get used to it," Maggie said, "You said you needed to go to the drug store and the general store, right?"

"We should check the bar, too," Alice said, clutching the reins and pulling them out towards her knees like Maggie had shown her to stop the horse, "They might have a gun behind the counter or something."

"We don't need guns," Maggie said.

"Just as a precaution," Alice added. She didn't know why Hershel was so largely against guns but she knew that they had to respect it, at least while Rick got him to come round, "While we're out here, a gun wouldn't hurt."

"There's none of - _them_ out here," Maggie said.

"Walkers are one thing, but people are pretty bad too," Alice leaned forward to swing her leg back over the horse, all but falling off as she dropped to her feet. She caught a glimpse of a scowl on Maggie's face.

"Why do y'all call them walkers?" the farmgirl asked.

"They're dead, but they're still walking," Alice said, watching as Maggie led the horses aside to tie their reins onto the post, "I know that some of them do a sort of speed shuffle and some of them just crawl but - the dead are up and walking, what do you expect?"

"You ever wonder if they're not really dead, though?" Maggie said, leading Alice into the small drug store.

On the window of the drug store, a sign saying 'take what you need, leave what you don't' gave Alice a moment's pause. She wanted to take everything because chances were they'd one day need it but she felt guilty in knowing that other good people would go without. Other people might need the supplies they'd taken from the highway, one day.

"We went to the CDC and even the scientist there wasn't really sure," Alice said, "But I know people can't survive with their heart torn out, and I also know that the scientist said the human part of the brain doesn't come back. Just the stem."

Inside, the drug store wasn't too dark, the windows at the front and back providing well-needed daylight. Alice caught something with her foot and she looked down to see the open pack of condoms amongst the mess on the floor. She kicked it aside before continuing on, careful to check the floor for anything important that may have been knocked over in a scuffle.

"Why'd y'all leave the CDC in the first place? Seems like a smart place to be."

"It ran out of power and blew up," Alice said, "Scientist's name was Edwin Jenner. He told us that this is humanity's extinction event - then he decided to stay behind and go down with the ship. Didn't want to live in all this."

Maggie stopped her inspection of some shelving to look at Alice, "A scientist at the CDC chose ta die because of all this? "

"Yeah," Alice said, walking past the woman. She was tired of talking about the end of the world now. As she walked she pulled the crumpled note from her jeans pocket, paying no attention to the rest of the shop. Most of the shelves were empty, where antibiotics had once been Alice presumed, but there were a couple shelves with what Alice needed.

A chill went down Alice's spine as she thought about the other people currently roaming the countryside, the ones in possession of the missing pills from those empty shelves, and considered how isolated the little pockets of humanity were. A species once connected by the world wide web now unable to so much as call each other.

Alice reached up, searching through the many bottles of pills to check the labels. Each bottle let out a slight rattle as she shifted it, the pills inside clacking together.

"Alice-" Maggie yelled, but it was too late. The dry flesh clamped around Alice's wrist from the other side of the shelf. Alice was yanked forward, her head slamming against the shelving on her side. The smell of death assaulted her nose then. Her eyes had dark spots from the pain in her head.

"Shit, shit, Maggie, get it off of me!" she screamed, pulling back as hard as she could. If its fingernails dug into her... She yanked her arm to the side in hopes of slipping its grasp. Pill bottles clattered as they were knocked to the ground, giving Alice a clear view. It was trying to bite for her moving hand.

Maggie stood, frozen. Alice slammed her shoulder into the shelving and it shifted. Pain bloomed through her shoulder as she shoved again. It fell with a crash, dragging Alice down with it as it pinned the walker to the ground.

A burning sting pained her wrist as Alice pulled back, falling into the shelves behind her. Despite being crushed under the shelf where it had fallen at an angle, the walker was still trying to pull itself through the gap in the shelves. Alice freed her ax from her belt and brought it down on the emerging head, blood splattering onto her and the shelving.

Alice straightened herself, heaving.

"You-" Alice wiped the back of her hand across her forehead, "You didn't do anything." Alice looked away from Maggie, checking over her arms for a bite or scratch she hadn't noticed.

"What was I supposed to do? You just killed someone!"

"Someone? Maggie, that walker was long dead and trying to eat me alive-," Alice froze, running her thumb over the raised pink lines, one of them slowly beading a drop of blood. The skin was broken.

Her blood felt warm, like acid in her veins. She was _scratched_.

"Are you sick?" Maggie croaked. Alice could see the guilt on her face. She didn't want to die, but that was it, she was already infected. Maggie shouldn't have to live with that on her shoulders.

"No," Alice's voice shook as she composed the possible situation that may have been a lie. "It was off the shelving. It's just a graze, see?"

Alice ran a hand over her face before storming through the back of the store looking for more walkers. She found the fire-exit hanging open and slammed it shoot, viciously rattling the bar to make sure that the lock was engaged. If it wasn't the shelf that had scratched her-

No. She couldn't think like that.

* * *

They reached the farm while they still had hours of daylight left. The air between Alice and Maggie was tense, Maggie angry and guilty and Alice just terrified. Terrified to die.

"Just don't say anything yet," Alice breathed. Maggie nodded.

The card for Shane was tucked into her bag, and the pills for Lori were inside her bag. Alice wasted no time after she'd dropped from the horse, letting Maggie lead them away as she stormed towards Lori's tent. She could see the woman alone inside through the mesh window and wasted no time pulling the pills from the top of her bag and launching them inside the tent.

Lori looked up, startled by the impact and rattle of the pills, but Alice just spat out, "You can pull your own weight with runs from now on since you won't have your condition to stop you."

Lori said nothing as Alice walked away, crossing back over to her own tent and rifling through the supplies she'd dumped out of her bag. First, she yanked her leather jacket on to cover her wrist. It was still too warm in the daytime for the fleece to not be suspicious.

She grabbed the pens and paper that she'd taken back in Atlanta when they'd been planning out how to get the guns. Collapsed to her knees inside the tent. Her heart was still racing faster than it should've, anxiety burning in her veins. She didn't want to die.

Alice started writing on the pad of paper,

 _To everyone,_

 _I don't know what's going to happen to me yet. I'm a danger to you all and you're a danger to me so I'm going to keep myself away from here until I know for sure. I don't want to be chased with a pickax like poor Jim._

 _\- Alice_

She stopped, tears welling in her eyes, and flung the pad across the tent. It sounded so stupid. But someone needed to know. Alice palmed at her eyes, and stepped from the tent, setting her eyes on the old man on the RV.

Climbed up and, at his curious glance, told him what had happened that day. Barely looked at him as she told the tale. She didn't want him to question the lack of explanation of why she was looking at pills. She couldn't tell anyone about Lori - not even Shane. It wasn't Alice's place to tell the camp and Lori had the right to do whatever she wanted with her body. Shane deserved to know, but the baby would be destroyed soon enough and it would destroy Shane too if he knew.

Alice didn't blame Lori for not wanting to carry her husband's best friend's child in normal circumstances; the apocalypse just made everything scarier, deadlier.

"You're sure it was the walker that scratched you?" she could hear the fear in the old man's voice.

"It had its hand around my wrist, Dale. Look at it." Dale was maybe the only one, other than Rick, who wouldn't try and put her down. But Rick would try and keep her around, and Alice knew that if she got scared enough she'd ramble everything out about Lori, Otis - and Delia. Alice needed someone to know, but not everyone, so that she could slip away. So that when she didn't come back, no one would come looking for her.

Fuck. It was over.

"I don't mean to give you false hope, but you said that you knocked the shelf over. You may have just caught your hand on a nail or the edge of the shelf. There are a few lines here but it barely breaks the skin," Dale said, gently tugging the sleeve of her jacket back over her wrist, "This looks more like a graze than a fingernail but I'm no doctor."

"You think?" Alice's voice broke, "Dale, I'm scared."

"I don't mean to say that you shouldn't be worried, your skin is very warm, but hope is always a useful tool," Dale said.

"I'm going for a walk," Alice said, standing, "Please don't tell anyone. I just - I want to live for as long as I can. If it is."

* * *

Alice had intended to go to the small dock on the lake but, upon arrival, she'd just kept walking. The light was dying and Alice knew the dangers of getting caught in the dark but didn't care enough to turn back.

Sometime after the chill in the evening wind became too much for her leather jacket to keep her warm Alice sat down in a small clearing, aware that a walker could come upon her at any time but convinced that it didn't really matter. She was already bitten, all she had to do now was run away so she wasn't torn apart.

Back resting against a tree trunk, Alice lit up a cig, one from the new pack she'd grabbed while in town, and started crying. All that fear of people, all that time spent quitting smoking, and she'd died getting fucking abortion pills. Maybe died. Some part of her was so ready to give up that she could barely consider that it wasn't a scratch anymore.

Maybe there was a God laughing at her. Alice scowled at the sky, where she could just faintly see the stars through the leaves. If God really judged abortions and gayness then fuck him, she'd burn in hell.

What if she did burn in hell?

Alice spent long enough sat there, chasing her thoughts around and tangling her mind into knots, that the sun fully set. It was just past first dark when Alice heard the soft and almost silent steps.

She flung the stub of the cig she had, her throat croaky from the amount she'd smoked in stress, and stood, pulling her ax out.

The figure emerged into the clearing, and under the full moonlight was barely recognizable as Daryl.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, tucking the ax into her belt.

"You serious?" Daryl paced back and forth, "Everyone back on the farms thinking' you went off an' did like Jenner said, opted out."

"What, why?" Alice ran a hand over her face, "Did Dale say something?"

"Yeah," Daryl stopped his movements to look down at her covered wrist, "after Shane came out talkin' bout some note an' how you might be tryin' ta off yourself."

"I- I didn't know how to explain it," Alice sat back down, despite Daryl's clear impatience to move, "I guess Dale told you that I got scratched, I think. I don't know. I asked him not to say anything."

"Ya don't look sick," Daryl said.

"And if I am, are you going to try and kill me before I'm good and ready? Maybe I want to be one of them. Wouldn't feel much worse than how life did before the end of the world."

"Nawh," Daryl said, "Was pretty stupid back then thinkin' Jim was a threat. Ain't like you're 'bout to turn or nothin'."

"I don't want to go back, face them." Alice said. She knew that it was cruel, leaving everyone panicking, but her impending death made her selfish, "How did you find me?"

"Shane mentioned that dock, an' I figured I'd track you 'fore it got too late. Been stumblin' over myself in the dark for the last half hour."

"Will you stay with me?" Alice held out the pack of smokes and Daryl sat before her, one arm propped up on his raised knee and the other holding the smoke she passed him. She leaned forward, closer than she should've, to hold the lighter to the cig between his lips.

Alice met his blue eyes at the flame bathed them both in light, pausing there. It was Daryl who moved first, pulling his now lit cigarette from the flame and putting some distance between them. Alice settled back against the tree.

"I don't feel sick," Alice said, "But I don't know."

"How'd it happen?" Daryl asked.

Alice felt the wall she'd put around all of her secrets crumble a little. She needed to get something out - and Daryl was a trustworthy guy. He didn't talk shit for no reason.

"Getting abortion pills for Lori," she said, "It grabbed me through the shelves. I don't know if the walker or the shelf got me, 'cause I knocked the whole unit down on top of it."

Daryl gave her a slight nod, "Heard some of yer lil' argument this mornin'."

"Something is weird with these people. Maggie told me I'd just killed someone after I put it down."

"They ain't figured out that they're dead yet?"

"I don't think so," Alice said, shifting her legs so that they were crossed before her. She got the idea that it would be more comfortable to lean against Daryl but knew not to push the hunter. Hell, she'd seen him flinch at Rick clapping his shoulder. Alice understood that; she hated being touched by people she didn't know, but she trusted Daryl, and she'd kill for a hug right then.

"Lori's gettin' rid of her Shanebaby, there anythin' else goin' on in this group?" Daryl let out a small laugh, "This group is broken."

"It's just… really not unified." Alice said, looking away. Shane and her were hiding Otis' murder, the rifle in the swamps less than a mile from where she and Daryl sat. Dale thought Shane was a bad influence, Sophia was still missing, Daryl had been shot by Andrea, and Lori was pregnant with Shane's baby. Could it get any worse?

"You shouldn't have been searching for me with your injury," she added, but Daryl shrugged uncomfortably.

"Ain't like I'm dyin'," Daryl said, "Jus' doin' my job."

Alice reached forward, placing a cautious hand over where Daryl had his own hand splayed out on his knee, "Of this whole group, I think you're the most qualified to live in this world. We're all useless in comparison to you."

"I wasn't nothin' before this," she could hear the resentment he held in his voice. Strangely, she got the feeling that it wasn't aimed at her but at himself. Had his anger at everyone, this whole time, been more out of self-hatred than anything else?

"You're worth a lot more than you know, Daryl." Alice met his blue eyes and rested back against the tree, "I didn't associate myself with enough good people before the end of the world, but I can spot a good person when I see one."

"Whatever," Daryl grumbled, "You ain't even got a fever, you ain't scratched."

"Can we wait?" Alice didn't want to go back and face everyone, didn't want to believe that she wasn't scratched while there was still a chance she was, didn't want to end this time with Daryl.

He shrugged and took his crossbow off his back, placing it beside himself just in case he needed it. Something in Alice stirred at that. She wanted to tell him everything about Otis, about Shane, about Delia, about Before. She wanted to bare herself to him; she wanted him to see everything about her and care about her anyway. Was care too strong of a word? Alice wasn't sure that Daryl gave a shit about anyone but his brother, back in Atlanta, but now she was sure that he cared about the group.

"Why'd you even come all the way out 'ere?"

"I just- I didn't trust myself not to start spilling all the secrets I have in some sort of apology," Alice said, "Doesn't matter how guilty or how lonely I am. I mean, it always matters, but if that means I get people kicked out of the group, or I destroy people's resolve to live? I couldn't sacrifice all that just for some creature comforts in my last hours."

"Ya ain't dyin'," Daryl said, "Ain't no one in this group dyin'. We're gonna find that little girl and we're gonna keep this place safe."

Alice felt hope growing in herself, a resolve to live and fight for the farm and the group blossoming from it.

"Surprised you don't want to know what I'm hiding. Everyone else are all nosey bastards," she said.

"Ain't my business," he said, "We best get back soon. They're gon' be wonderin' where we are."

Alice sighed, stubbed out her cig, and got to her feet. She didn't feel lightheaded, though fatigue did pull at her eyelids. She didn't know what would happen when they got back, but her skin crawled at the idea of everyone lecturing her or gathering around her or something like that.

"You're right."

Daryl stood and pulled a flashlight that Alice hadn't noticed from his belt, using it to illuminate the ground before them.

"You're just full of surprises, huh?" she said.

"Ain't no use in doin' somethin' if you ain't got the right shit for the job," Daryl said, "I reckon it woulda done Merle some good ta know he ain't even half appealin' to a woman with those looks 'a his 'fore he wasted all his money buyin' 'em drinks that they'd end up throwin' onto him. S' why he always ended up with some whore most nights."

"Yeah well I bet he was pretty upset that you got the better genes," Alice said. In the light coming from the flashlight, she swore his cheeks went pink and he sped up his pace.

"Nawh, jus' that Merle's got no manners," Daryl said, though his voice sounded harsher than before, "Best be quiet in the dark like this."

"Alright," she said, sensing the end of the conversation. Still, she couldn't help but itch at the mark on her wrist. If it had been from a walker... she couldn't be so reckless anymore. They couldn't cut corners or risk anything if they wanted to survive. Alice would do whatever she had to.

* * *

 **A/N : Woo, the next chapter will be Barn Day, so that's gonna be fun :). As for switching out Alice and Glenn on this run (don't worry they've already had their steamy pharmacy run) I have my motivations which hopefully will become clear. Glenn and Maggie will still have their good life-saving moments and Hershel is still going to approve of their love, I'm not taking our beloved Glaggie away from you I promise.  
**  
 **Let me know what you thought of this chapter/what you think of the story so far. What direction do you think it's going/where would you like it to go? 3 thank you so much for reading and have a great weekend!**

 **P.S. Shane got the last 3 chapter titles so I thought I'd spread the love.**

 **P.S.S. Funfact Jon Bernthal's birthday is the 20th September which is where Shane's comes from. Also morning sickness does take around 6 weeks to become a thing and pregnancy tests do take 2 weeks to show up, that's all fact that I know from friends who STILL THINK THE PULLOUT METHOD IS ACCEPTABLE. If anyone is reading this, IT DOESNT WORK GET REAL BIRTH CONTROL! But yes, back to my point, that means in the show Judith always had to be Shane's, even before Rick told us that she's not his.**


	14. 14 - That is Enough

**Part 2 - Disunity**

 **14 - That is Enough**

* * *

Most of the group were visibly huddled around the campfire when the pair returned to the farm. It was Shane, on watch, who saw them first and took off in their direction before the rest of the group had realized.

"The hell do you think you're doin'?" Shane yelled when he was closer, his strong strides bringing him over faster than the others who had, upon seeing Shane's brisk pace, begun following him over.

"Don't, Shane," Alice said. She was tired, and shaken, and she just wanted to go to bed.

"You can't jus' do that," Shane continued, "You bit, that right?"

He stopped before the pair, and Alice moved to step past him but he grabbed her arm, holding her back. She didn't turn to face him, instead standing as though ready to continue back towards the camp. She could see the others heading over towards them, a sloppy crowd of people.

"No, apparently not," she mumbled, "Get off of me."

"You coulda got bit anyway, goin' out there in the dark on your-"

"I didn't want to start giving out final confessions, you get me?" Alice interrupted, turning and staring at him with the full force of her words - Otis, "I said to _let go of me_!"

His eyes widened at first, and then narrowed, the anger she knew she'd caused blurring his rationality. Shane tightened his grip, "Maggie got damn near killed by a walker searchin' the edge of the property for you 'cause she felt so damn guilty."

"She told you ta' let her go," Daryl growled, his voice a low rumble. Alice could see his hand balled into a fist at his side. She didn't know how to calm the slowly culminating tension between the two men,

"What, you gonna make me?" Shane laughed, "You think you get to be the hero just 'cause you brought her back? Man, you're just trash."

Daryl lurched forward, fist raised, and Shane dropped his grip of Alice in preparation to swing for Daryl. Alice jumped between the two men, one hand pressed on both their chests.

"You ever call me that again an' I'll kill you," Daryl spat. His chest was heaving under her palm. Daryl glowered at Shane but Shane just grinned, his eyes dark and unfeeling. He'd changed in those moments from caring to vying for a fight to beat all of his feelings out of himself.

"Stop," Alice shouted, "Just bloody stop."

She felt tears brimming in her eyes, tears of exhaustion, of fear, of guilt. The rest of the group began to surround them as they arrived at the scene, some looking relieved and some looking curious and some looking angry. Alice could see annoyance on Glenn's face, knew it was probably about Maggie, and couldn't bring herself to look back in his direction. It might not have been her direct fault that Maggie had been attacked, but it was her fault that Maggie had been out there in the first place.

"Everything alright?" Rick asked, the slow pace of his words all Alice needed to know that he was as aware of the two men's brimming fight. They'd been angry enough with one another to go to blows and they were nowhere near boiling point.

"Just fine and dandy, Rick," Shane spat, backing away from Daryl and Alice.

"I'm not scratched, I don't think," Alice choked out, conscious of all the eyes on her, "I'm sorry- I- I'm going to bed."

To her surprise, no one stopped her from striding back to the tent, though Alice heard the hushed voices behind her and felt the stares burning the back of her neck. She should have tried to solve things, should have found Maggie and apologised for whatever had happened, but she couldn't bring herself to. She was tired of being terrified. More than that, she was tired of being tired.

In the small red tent, Alice changed from her bloodied clothes into the baggy shirt and sweatpants she'd taken to using as makeshift pyjamas that would, if the moment required, work easily enough as clothes to flee the farm.

She'd settled into her sleeping bag, exhaustion holding her in a curled up position and yet, her mind couldn't quite shut off. When had everything become so complicated? She missed that first day in Atlanta, back when she didn't know anyone. It had been so simple. People surviving a global crisis - not people surviving the apocalypse.

"Alice, you alright with me comin' in?" Shane's voice came from outside the tent, his shadow bearing down on the red nylon from outside. He might have had the potential to be a giant dickhead but he also had the potential to be a well-mannered good guy; he never came in without asking first, and he'd never tried to catch a glimpse of her.

"Yeah," she called, not shifting from her position.

Shane unzipped the tent door and stepped inside before closing it. He didn't say anything as he dropped into a sitting position atop his pile of blankets. The unsaid words were thick in the air.

"Sorry 'bout all that," he lowered his voice, "Scared us all, girl. Scared me."

"I was terrified. I didn't really think before I walked out there," Alice shifted so that she was looking up at him, making eye contact with him. His head was only slightly tilted in her direction, the darkness of the tent masking the sadness in his eyes as he spoke.

"I get that - I do," he almost choked on the words, "You're the only one that ain't written me off as some asshole, s'all. Couldn't lose ya too."

Alice almost thought that she could hear his broken parts rattling in his voice, what with the way he forced out the words. "I forgive you, Shane. We're not all diplomats - but you manhandle me again and I'll kick you in the balls."

"I deserve that," he smirked, "But I'd rather you not - my balls been gettin' some good treatment today."

Alice scrunched up her nose, "You're vile. I guess that extra practice for Andrea was more about you shooting off a load than her aim, huh?"

"Hey now, she came onto me," Shane toed off his boots, "Reckon' she's, what's the word, _enraptured_ with my dick."

"Do not steal the words that I taught you to talk about your - experiences," Alice laughed though, just a little, "You and Andrea are good together, even if she does drive me up the wall."

"Woman's jus' lonely," Shane shrugged, pulling his shirt over his head. Alice averted her eyes, staring down at the floor of the tent, and missed the way Shane's eyes became downcast.

"Andrea likes you," Alice said, "She got proper defensive when I basically accused her of wanting you. Don't knock something like that, especially in all this."

"Nah, let me tell you somethin' - everyone always talks about men usin' women, and now I know that that is true, but you never hear people talkin' 'bout how women come on in, act like they care, jus' cause they want a man. I know half of the women I ever had just wanted a good fuck from the manwhore of King County," Shane let out a small chuckle, "See, now everyone's always sayin' that men an' women are so different but I just do not see it."

"Everyone's sort of a twat," Alice yawned, her mind slowly calming.

"Nah well, there is one difference. Women don't know how to turn a damn light switch off," Shane grinned, and even in the darkness, Alice could see the way whatever he was thinking about had cheered him up.

"I am very good at turning off lights," Alice said, "Though, I think you're dumb enough to wander around in the dark instead of turning the light on."

"What, you think I jus' stumble around at night goin' the kitchen and walkin' into things?"

"Yeah, I do," Alice grinned.

"Alrigh'- Yeah, you got me there."

They both laughed, and Alice found herself wishing that the moment could last. There was no struggle for survival, no pain, just happiness. She hadn't had someone she could call family like this in a long time - like a brother. Alice had no brother of her own, sure, but Shane might have been as close as she'd ever get. She wanted to see him happy.

"You should pick Andrea some flowers," Alice said, "There are some nice ones out in the woods. We can go train in the fields first thing, get some while we're there."

"Chivalry sure ain't dead, huh?" He grinned, "Could do it right, even if I can't take 'er on a date."

"Take her out to the old dock for a drink sometime," Alice said. The idea of Shane with Andrea, moving on from Lori and happy, was amazing - but the thought of Lori drew her mind to something else. To the non-baby.

Shane's foetus.

"We should get some sleep," she said, rolling over before he could see the way her face had fallen.

"You good?"

"It's been a long day," Alice mumbled, closing her eyes and begging for sleep. Shane said nothing else, though she heard him shifting to get to sleep himself, and Alice almost thought that things could get better. Lori was dealing with her own issues, and Shane was getting over her. It might be better, if wrong, that he didn't know.

"Ya know you just gotta switch it off," Shane said from where he lay, "Whatever you're feelin', you jus' gotta switch it off. Guilt, fear, whatever, you need a clear head if you wanna survive."

Alice knew that Shane was talking about what he'd done. How he'd been with Daryl earlier, maybe even how he'd been with Otis, with getting over Lori.

"You can't just ignore it forever, Shane," Alice said, "Emotions demand to be felt. You ignore them, they'll tear you apart from the inside."

"Only way to survive in this world is to fight," he said, "Can't hesitate."

"You get so angry, Shane. You're gonna end up dead if you don't let go, let yourself work through those feelings instead of turning it into that," she added.

"Thought I wasn't gonna end up dead?"

"None of us are, not if we can help it," she said, "but you can't keep on doing what you know you can't live with just to survive - not alone."

As she began drifting into sleep, thoughts momentarily quietened, a smaller thought drifted to the front of her mind. Sophia. By now, Alice thought she was dead, but there was no fault in having a little hope. But if they ran out of food, or walkers came, they'd have to leave her. They had to.

* * *

Alice was settled in the camping chair beside Daryl, her empty plate and mug already discarded on the growing pile beside the fire. The sunlight had begun to beat down on them, the coolness of morning rapidly disappearing. The chill had lasted longer than usual into the day and Alice knew that soon the morning cold would swallow up the day and become the constant cold of winter.

She could see the pink wildflowers through the small window of the RV, where Andrea had put them beside the sink in a small little vase. She spared a small glance for Shane, where he sat with a small smirk on his face. After they'd practiced Alice's self-defense out in the fields, Shane had brought the flowers back for Andrea, slipping them to her behind the cover of the RV when he thought no one was looking. Alice hadn't missed that, and she hadn't missed their quiet disappearance into the woods. Now, the constant sound of Andrea sharpening her knife was getting to Alice's nerves. She needed to get Andrea to sign Shane's card when the man himself made himself busy anywhere but at the camp.

"Can I come out with you today?" Alice asked, "Better if you have someone to watch your back - and I want to learn how to track."

"Don't need no city girl stomping around muckin' up trails and scarin' off any game," Daryl said, "I can find 'er on my own."

"I know you can," Alice said, "But I'd like to come with you."

Daryl looked at her for a moment before dropping his head into a nod, "Alrigh', but no complainin' or nothin'. Ya listen to me out in them woods."

"Copy that," Alice smiled, and stretched her legs out straight before crossing them, stretching her arms out behind her. When they found Sophia, it'd be nice to just relax on the farm. Sunbathe at that old dock with some beers or cold lemonade, and read a good book. Next summer, maybe, when everything was over.

"Erm, guys?" Alice raised her head at the sound of Glenn's voice, the noise of the group slowly trickling to silence as Glenn drew everyone's attention, "So… the barn's full of walkers."

Shane was peering between the boards of the barn, at the walkers within. Alice could just barely hear the whispery groans of walkers, now that she was so close, and she wanted to reach out and pull Shane away.

She didn't have to, though, because he stumbled away from the boards before turning, "You cannot tell me you're alright with this," Shane growled, storming past Rick and then back, as though he didn't know what to do with himself.

"I'm not, but this isn't out land," Rick said, clearly angry and yet scared of Shane's response all the same.

"Man this is our lives," Shane said. Alice knew that whatever he'd seen in there, it wasn't good. More than a couple of walkers.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug," Andrea said, and Alice found herself agreeing with the woman.

"I knew that they were weird about the walkers and about our guns, but this? I'm struggling to justify," Alice kept her hand on the hilt of her ax where it was tucked into her belt as she watched the door for any sign of walkers trying to get out. Rick stood beside her, body tense.

Shane was still pacing, "We just gotta go in there, we gotta make things right or we just gotta go. We been talking 'bout Fort Benning for a long time-"

"We can't go," Rick yelled, interrupting his partner.

"Why, Rick, why?"

"'Cause my daughter is still out there," Carol said. Shane shifted his blue police cap and put his hands over his mouth, sighing, muttering "okay" to himself as he tried to come up with the right words.

"Okay, okay- I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility," Shane had his hands clutched before him, as though in prayer, moving them along with his words.

"Shane, we're not leaving Sophia behind," Rick said.

"We're close to findin' this damn girl, I jus' found her damn doll a few days ago," Daryl said. There was anger in his voice as he stared at Shane, and Alice thought that this might be the breaking point between them.

Shane just laughed, though, and his voice was higher-pitched, "You found her doll, Daryl, that's what you did. You found a doll."

"You don' know what the hell you're talkin' about," Daryl paced forward, and Alice found herself prepared to get in the way even as Rick put his arm between the two men. This was the second time they were ready to fight and Alice just couldn't figure out their deal.

"Look man, I'm just sayin' what needs to be said here - you don't get a good lead in the first forty-eight hours it's over," Shane was yelling now, "Let me tell you something' else man, if she was alive and saw you coming all method out with your buck knife she'd run in the other direction."

Daryl lunged for Shane, and screaming broke out. Alice threw herself in front of Daryl as Rick reached his hands out between the two men, Lori going to stop Shane.

"Daryl, stop," she could see the rage in his eyes, and understood it, but Shane was just making a point in the worst way that he could. Alice didn't think that Shane was wrong, though. They all knew that Sophia was dead, and only Daryl seemed to believe that she was alive instead of simply hoping like the right of them.

Daryl stopped trying to push forward, though he was still bouncing on his feet as though ready for a fight.

She was briefly distracted by Shane, storming away from Lori, snapping, "Keep your hands off me." He'd smacked her hand off of his chest. Alice couldn't help but hate Lori for looking offended.

Alice knew that they had to deal with the barn - the only way was to clear it out. They couldn't take stupid risks now. Though, that didn't mean they could try and convince Hershel to go along with it.

"Let me figure it out," Rick yelled.

Shane let out a laugh, "What are you gonna figure out man?"

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it." Rick said, "This is his land."

"Hershel sees those things in there as people- sick people- his wife, his stepson," Dale announced, and Alice felt a snarl form on her face.

"You better have a bloody good fucking reason for knowing that and not telling us before," Alice yelled, turning on the old man, "Tell me you didn't know that a barn full of walkers was ready to come and eat us, right by where we sleep."

"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel," Dale said. Alice pressed her palms into her forehead, relishing the feeling of the pressure on her head as she tried to contain her anger.

"And you waited the night?" Shane asked.

"I thought we could survive one more night. We did," Dale said, but Alice couldn't help her annoyance, "I was waiting 'till this morning to say something but Glenn wanted to be the one."

"You thought, Dale?" Alice pressed her knuckles against her mouth for a moment, "You thought it fit to gamble with our lives? That wasn't your decision to make."

Shane started yelling again, "The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or no-"

He was interrupted by the clatter of wood, the loud screaming groans of walkers that had heard their prey. The hinges of the door were pushed to their limit before the door bounced back.

"Shit," Alice grabbed her ax from her belt, aware that her and Daryl were the only ones with actual weapons on them, and waited.

"See what I mean, man?" Shane said.

Most of the group had back-pedalled away from the barn, leaving Daryl, Shane, Rick, Alice, Dale and T-Dog stood closer to it.

"It doesn't matter whether Hershel likes it or not, Rick, we just have to go in there and put them all down," Alice said, "I just hope that he does, because he'll try and kick us out if he doesn't."

"We either stay or we leave, there ain't no in-between," Shane said. Alice figured that they could make a plan for it and do it quietly, sort this all out without ringing the dinner bell.

"If we clear it, whether we leave or stay, we're still making it safer for the people on this farm. That's worth it," Alice said, before turning and striding away from the barn, despite the sounds of yelling behind her. She needed to speak to Maggie.

* * *

"Hey, Maggie," Alice called, jogging up to the woman beside the chicken coop, "I wanted to apologise."

"Why?"

"I heard that you nearly got hurt, looking for me," Alice fidgeted with the hem of her t-shirt, "Thank you for looking, but I'm so sorry. But - you must understand that keeping those things in a barn isn't the right way now."

"Glenn saved my life," Maggie said, putting her basket of eggs down beside herself, "I should have helped you yesterday, in town. I know that my daddy - he hasn't seen walkers like I have. That's - that's what used be our family and friends in there."

"They're already gone," Alice said, "I'm sorry about that, too."

"You're right," Maggie said, "When Annette and Shawn got bit, I didn't want to believe it. No one did, 'least of all daddy, not when he takes it upon himself to look after us all. I see it now, that y'all aren't so scared of nothin'. Those aren't the people we love."

Alice stayed silent, finally stunned to words. To accept that someone you loved was one of those things? If she was honest with herself, she knew her parents were long dead by now, but it was so much easier to imagine them surviving instead of as walkers. She didn't know how to deal with that.

"You all gotta watch your step still, daddy ain't so convinced," Maggie added, "I'm gonna try and speak to him for y'all."

"Thank you, Maggie," Alice said, glad that Maggie had already volunteered to do what she'd come here to ask for, "You're brave as hell."

"We've all been weak for too long," Maggie said, picking up the empty basket, "I gotta collect these eggs."

* * *

Alice had heard from the others all about Shane taking up a watch on the barn and she agreed with it. All it took was for a screw to come loose in a hinge or a board to crack and the walkers would be free, coming upon the camp unawares, just like how they had back in Atlanta at the quarry. Hell, the thing was visible from where they slept. Even if someone on watch saw it, the group wouldn't have enough time. Not with the guns packed away and weapons left behind in tents.

"Rick," she called, the man himself on his way back from the barn. Alice could see Shane rested against the old tractor, his eyes wide and his hands subtly shaking, "Have you spoken to Hershel yet?"

"He doesn't understand," Rick said, "I'm going along with him for now."

"Maggie said she'd speak to him," Alice said, "You know that we have to deal with this, right? We can't just leave a barn full of walkers this close to where we sleep. I'm still kind of worried about how he managed to collect so many."

"Hershel puts them in there when they come onto his land," Rick explained.

"And what happens when he pushes it too far and there's enough to break open the doors?" Alice said, "We can't stay here, not with that out there."

"We have to, we just have to," Rick stared into her eyes, and something clicked in her mind. This wasn't just about Sophia or Carl because he would have named it as his reason by now.

"You know about Lori, don't you?" she asked, quietly testing the waters. He flinched back, eyes widening, but then he nodded as though he'd figured something out for himself.

"How do you know?"

"She asked me to go to town for her," Alice looked towards Shane, "How did you find out?"

"You got those pills for her?" Rick's voice was harsh, "Found her throwing them up. She's keeping it."

Alice's blood ran cold and she didn't move her gaze from Shane, "You going to tell everyone, tell Shane?"

"I told him earlier, and Hershel. No one else needs to know."

Alice started walking away from Rick, towards Shane, because now she understood why he looked like he might cry, even from here.

"Shane," she breathed, when she was close enough, giving only a quick check over her shoulder to make sure that Rick hadn't followed, "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he waved his hand in the air, but Alice knew that it was all bullshit.

They stayed there for a moment, quiet, as Alice figured out how to approach the topic.

"Lori's pregnant," his voice broke. She looked up at the way his pupils seemed to shake, him unable to keep his gaze in one place for too long.

"Children can see their fathers and stepfathers at the same time, it's not a new concept," Alice said.

"It ain't mine," Shane choked out, "Or so they say - but I know. That baby, that's my baby. I know it."

"Rick said it wasn't yours?"

"Lori said it can never be mine, to that effect," Shane ran a hand down his face, but all Alice felt was anger brewing in herself, "Went to her after Rick told me. Even if it is mine, it can never be mine, so she says."

Alice knew that Lori and Shane weren't eager to reveal their affair but she thought that Rick would understand his own absence. It wasn't right to stop a man knowing his child, not if there was no good reason to and he wanted to be there.

"She's scared, Shane. I don't blame her for being terrified. She'll come around, she changed her mind about keeping it," Alice said, "Lori's not a cruel woman and Rick's a good guy, they won't keep you away-"

"You knew?" Shane asked, his neck stretched backwards as he rested his head on the tractor, "Thought we were… family, but you're keeping shit from me too, that right?"

"Lori asked me not to, and as far as I was aware she was destroying it and I knew that it would destroy a part of you, too, if you knew," Alice felt defensive, but she was confident in her choice.

The cracks had appeared in Shane again, the ones that seemed to have been sealed in the last few days and in his time with Andrea.

"That's rich," Shane said, "Take the high ground, go on, just like Rick."

"I'm not," Alice said, "You told me last night that everyone left you alone. Everything with Lori, now with that baby - maybe it's better to let go right now. You're as scared of being alone as I am and we both know it."

"Shut'up, Alice, you jus' go on and party your way through the end of the damn world like you been doin' so far," Shane slammed his palm down on the metal of the tractor, causing a large bang.

"Don't say that shit, not with everything you know," Alice cracked her fingers as she walked away, headed right for the fence where she'd seen Lori earlier. She'd always preferred to write about drama, not be a part of it, but she couldn't contain this anymore.

* * *

Lori stood from her crouch at the fence post at Alice's approach. They were alone, far enough out that even screaming they wouldn't be too audible, and if Alice weren't so glad for the isolation she might have questioned Lori on her stupidity.

"You have a lot of explaining to do," Alice yelled across the field as she strode towards Lori, "The fuck do you think you are?"

"What?" Lori asked slowly as Alice came to a stop before her, though the woman never stopped the relentless movement of her hands. She couldn't keep still for all the rage inside of herself.

"Not his child, huh?"

"How did you-"

"Rick told me, and he told Shane - what, rubbing it in his face?" Alice let out a small laugh, "We all know that Rick knows because hey, less than two weeks is pretty odd to even consider being pregnant in, right?"

"Rick doesn't know about… Shane and I," Lori said, her voice quiet and concerned. She knew as little about what Alice was going to do as Alice did.

"I'd bet that he does," Alice said, "You can't tell Shane that it's not his child. I don't care that you're married to Rick, I don't care that the old laws say that Rick would be the legal parent, honestly I couldn't give a fuck if I tried."

"Alice-"

"No, you listen, Lori," Alice shouted, "See, the laws are gone and Shane is that child's biological father. I'd get it if he was a bad guy but he isn't. You have to own up to your mistake, 'cause that man is going insane over all of this. Over what he's done for your family, over what we've all had to do."

"Rick is my husband," Lori defended, "I don't even know how we're supposed to raise a child in all of this, never mind how I'm supposed to raise a child with Shane while my husband is here, alive. It has to be Rick's."

"I understand your plight, I do, but I don't think you understand his," Alice pressed her palms into her eyes for a moment, "Shane has spent his entire life going from woman to woman, no family, watching you and Rick grow yours. You're both alone and scared in all this, you fuck up, I get that. But he just lost the only family he's ever really had, and now you're taking his child from him."

"I don't know for sure whose baby this is."

"Oh, you do," Alice rested against the fence beside Lori, felt the stillness of the thick air. It was a hot day, for late September, and the lack of wind made it worse.

 _For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring._ Alice remembered what happened in the play- remembered the fight that, in the end, led to the deaths of four people.

"I can't prove that."

"I understand that we don't have DNA testing, but we all know it. You couldn't have morning sickness if it was Rick's, Lori. You shouldn't even be positive on a test if it was Rick's," Alice met the woman's eyes, both stood at a similar height, "You keep fucking with that man and you're going to make him lose whatever he has left of his mind."

"I don't see how my marriage is any of your business, Alice," Lori said, picking up her belongings in what Alice figured was a move to get away from her, "It's my child."

"Not once did I say it wasn't," Alice pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a heavy breath, "I respect your choice as a mother for your child, but I also respect that men deserve equality in parenthood of their children unless there's a reason otherwise."

Lori didn't look at Alice as she continued ranting, "I didn't think you were a slut when you, a widow, were sleeping with Shane. I didn't think you a slut when Rick came back," Alice had Lori's attention now, "But I think you're a whore for fucking with their heads like this."

Alice was aware that Lori had barely responded during her whole rant, aware that she probably seemed insane as she went off on one, but she couldn't help the rage bubbling in her chest.

She barely saw Lori move before she felt the stinging pain and her head shifted to the left. Lori had slapped her, leaving a burning read handprint across her face.

"Bitchfight?" Alice rubbed a hand over the print and hissed, "I'm not going to hit a pregnant lady. You just think really hard about all of that."

Alice was all but ready to leave this shitty-ass group, and she thought about the logistics of it as she crossed the field to return back to the camp. She'd miss Daryl, and Glenn, and Maggie, but at least they'd be out of it. She wasn't sure that it was so safe with the group now, not with the way Rick was willing to risk their lives with the barn. Not with the way Shane and Rick would finally be head to head over the paternity of a child.

It was easier to call the baby Rick's, but what is easy isn't always right.

* * *

"What happened to your face?" Glenn gestured to the print on Alice's face but she shrugged, waving her hand in dismissal. No point explaining the crack she'd gotten from Lori. Alice had been slapped many times, stupid fights that devolved into hair pulling, and it didn't bother. It wouldn't even leave a bruise, though the redness was taking awhile to fade.

"Where is everyone?" she asked, "Shane, Dale, Rick, Hershel, they're all gone."

"Jimmy, too," Maggie added.

"Beth's boyfriend?" Alice said, "But more to the point, where are they?"

Dale, Jimmy and Hershel she was worried about - but Shane and Rick's disappearance was just as bad. What if Rick had confronted Shane, or Shane had finally owned up to Rick in an attempt to get his child?

"Rick and I were supposed to go out hours ago," Andrea said, "Look for Sophia."

"Ain't no one takin' this seriously?" Daryl swung his arms about, "Little girl's missin' and yer all jus' stood around. We got us a damn trail."

"Oh no," Alice could see, striding down the path leading up to the farmhouse, Shane, with the bag of guns over his shoulder, "Shane's back,"

"What's all this?" Daryl asked.

"You with me, man?" Shane held out a shotgun to Daryl, and for a moment Alice thought Daryl might reject him, but the hunter took the gun. Alice didn't understand, at first, what Shane was trying to do. Establish military control of the farm. Insist to Hershel that they needed weapons?

"Yeah," Daryl said, and despite everything the two men seemed to hate about each other, they were together on this. Just this.

"Time to grow up - you already got yours? We ain't livin' like this." Shane asked Andrea. She told him she did, and he continued on around the group, weapons ready to be passed out. The barn.

"Shane - don't," Alice ordered, "Gunshots? Any walker, anywhere near here, they'll be drawn right down on here."

"Ain't no walkers for miles, we been through this," Shane said, holding out a black handgun to her, the one she'd practiced with.

"It's like a net. You drop a rock in the middle, in this case the gunshots, and you draw every walker for miles down on this farm, like any objects in that net falling down to the rock," Alice still hadn't taken the weapon, though she wanted that farm cleared, "We have to do this quietly."

"It's now or never," Shane stared at her, and Alice took the weapon.

"The barn is secure for now, it isn't so urgent. It's not worth the ammo. We do it quietly, one by one, we can't even carry, Shane-"

"Enough!" Shane yelled, "We can carry and we have to. Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought it was supposed to be safe, but now we know it ain't."

The group was quiet, for once, in agreement.

Shane strode up to Glenn, holding out a gun, "How about you, man? You gonna protect yours?" Glenn took the gun, after an apologetic look towards Maggie, "That's it."

"Can you shoot?" he offered a gun to Maggie, but Maggie crossed her arms.

"Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight," Maggie argued.

"We have to stay, Shane," Carl said.

Alice gave the boy a long look, wondered if he knew about his new sibling or if it was just fear for Sophia.

"Shane, let's just go. We can leave now - Andrea, feel free to tag along," Alice tucked the gun into her waistband, "Anyone else is free to come, Shane, come on-"

"Nah, see, we ain't going anywhere, okay? Now look, Hershel, he's just gotta understand," Shane crouched before the boy, holding out a small pistol, "Now, I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes."

"This is not your call. This is not your decision to make," Lori yelled down on Shane, having stepped between Carl and where Shane crouched.

"Oh shit," another voice called, and Alice turned to see what T-Dog was looking at.

Coming out of the woods, in the direction of the swamps, were Rick, Hershel and Jimmy - with two walkers on snap poles.

"What is that? What is that?" Shane yelled, taking off sprinting towards them. Alice took off after him, dirt kicking up under her feet as she ran.

"Shane!" Rick, seeing his brother, yelled, "Shane, just back off."

"What the hell are you doing?" Shane said.

"Why do your people have guns?" Hershel asked, and Alice heard it in his voice. Saw it in the softness of his voice, too. Fear. Fear for his family in the barn. Maybe even fear for his family in the big farmhouse, too.

"Are you kidding me, you see, you see what they're holding onto?" Shane was pacing circles around Rick and Hershel and their walkers.

"I see who I'm holding onto," Hershel said. Alice stepped forward and put herself closer to the walkers, one hand on her ax. She'd protect these people, if this stupid plan went south. When it went south. Fucking snap poles. The walkers were already making their necks bleed from the pressure they put it on it, and soon they'd tear themselves from the holder's grip.

"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk," Rick begged.

"What do you want to talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead." Shane started screaming, his voice cracking, "Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis."

Alice flinched, just enough to be noticeable. They both knew that the walkers had caused the situation and torn him apart, but Shane had killed Otis if you really looked closely at it. She wanted to reach out, pull Shane away and get him off of this farm and away from these people.

"They're gonna kill all of us if we don't fight," Shane continued, "Hey, Hershel man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?"

Shane fired off three shots, right into the chest of the walker that Hershel held. The older man's face fell as he watched his friend get hurt. But he had to learn, Alice knew that, and a nicer way to show him was off the cards now.

"No! That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that? Why is it still coming?" Shane raised his gun again, took two more shots, "That's it's heart, it's lungs. Why is it still coming?"

"Shane, enough," Rick was still wrestling with the walker he held, it being aggravated by the noise enough to make Rick stumble with its strength.

"Yeah, you're right man, that is enough," Shane said. Raised his gun and shot the walker that Hershel was holding in the head. The old man collapsed to the ground with it, his face a mess of pain. Shane started running towards the barn, "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone. Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough!"

"Alice, Alice," Rick begged, "Take this, take it from me." Rick was pushing the snap pole he held in her direction, but Alice screwed her nose up.

"Rick, it ain't like it was before. Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it. I'm talking about fighting right here, right now." Shane turned from his monologue, grabbing a pickaxe from beside the barn to take onto the locks.

"Alice, stop him," she heard Rick yell, but she couldn't stop Shane. Still, she stood by her earlier decision, that the noise wasn't the right way.

"Shane," she called. He was still trying to swing the pickaxe down on the lock, not realizing it'd be easier to prise it off, "Look at me."

"See, Alice, here's what I do not get about you," Shane swung the pickaxe down again, causing the door to shake and the dead inside to rile up, "You talk this big game, but if it came down to it, you could not pull that trigger. To save Dixon's life, to save mine, hell, you couldn't even do it to save your own life."

"That's not true," Shane had gotten the pickaxe inside the padlock, was ready to break it from the chain, "Don't do this here, now, you can't."

Maybe she didn't try and shove him aside because she was scared - or maybe it was because, deep down, she knew that the only way to keep everyone safe was to do this. She should have taken down Rick's walker. She'd considered it, but she didn't. Maybe, if she had, things wouldn't have gone the way they did.

Hershel wouldn't kick a pregnant lady off of the farm. Just Shane, and Andrea, Alice, they'd go with him. Maybe Alice could get Daryl to come too - but she doubted it. She'd lose him.

Shane let out a guttural yell as he snapped the padlock off, launching the pickaxe to the side and banging his hands against the door, his whole body vibrating, before he jumped back, his gun at the ready.

The first walker was a man, his shirt bloodied. The walkers came out of the barn running, limbs flying about uncoordinated, their eyes seeing only prey. Alice raised the gun, aiming like Rick had taught her, and fired at a rotting woman. She missed the first shot but got it on the second.

She was scared they'd be left alone to deal with this, but T-Dog appeared beside Alice, and then Daryl to his right. Andrea took up beside Shane. They kept firing, taking down the walker's one by one with a constant scream of gunfire.

It went on for minutes. Alice kept missing, sometimes managing the shots, until it was over, and the only noise was the weeping of Beth. In the end, the bodies were strewn about the ground, finally dead. Alice dropped her empty pistol and wiped her sweating hands on her jeans. She couldn't get Beth's crying out of her head, couldn't get the looks of despair on Hershel and Patricia's faces out of her mind.

Her ears rang as she spoke, "They're dead, Hershel. They already were. If you want to make anyone leave, that's Shane, that's me, but the rest of this group stays."

"I want you all off my farm," the old man said.

Alice got close to him, "No. This wasn't a democratic decision. So Shane and I - we're going to leave. But the rest of the group deserves to stay," Alice let the words sink in before continuing, "You know the parable of the Good Samaritan, right? Love thy neighbor as I have loved you. The Samaritan didn't give the injured man some food and send him on his way, he went above and beyond."

Hershel stared at her, and she knew she'd gotten him there.

"Shane leaves my farm, tonight," Hershel said.

"Thank you," Alice said, but was interrupted by the cries of Beth, Hershel's young daughter. She'd run to her mother's corpse, which was now trying to grab her.

Alice sprinted over, pulling her ax out, and shoved herself into the crowd of people pulling at Beth and the walker to bring her ax down into its skull. She pulled it out without a word, turning and walking away. Hershel and his family headed back to the house together.

Shane was yelling as they walked, accusing Hershel of knowing about Sophia.

"Give it a rest, Shane," Alice said, "He already said that Otis put her in."

"That's bullshit. We been out combin' these woods and she was in there all along. You knew," Shane spat, "Why was she there?"

"Otis put those people in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed," Hershel explained.

"You expect me to believe that? Do I look like an idiot?"

"Shane, hey, Shane," Alice put a hand on his side, "Chill."

"I don't care what you believe," Hershel said, "Get him off of my land."

"Let me tell you something-" Shane began, but Maggie shoved Shane, slapping him across the face before pulling her father away.

"Don't touch him. Haven't you done enough?" Maggie yelled as they climbed up the porch. Shane stayed beside Alice, shock on his face, as the Greene's slipped inside.

"Daryl almost died looking for her, Rick, any one of us could have," Shane said when it was only the three of them left.

"He didn't know," Rick said, "He's not like that. He opened his home to us."

"He put us all in danger. Man, he kept a barn full of walkers," Shane said.

"Hershel's just misguided. Yesterday, at the pharmacy, Maggie accused me of killing someone," Alice rested against one of the porch posts, "He thought he was quarantining them, keeping his people safe - the sick ones and the living."

"What, that makes it okay to risk our lives?" Shane ran a hand over his face, frustrated, "Man's crazy, that's what."

"So you just start an insurrection, hand out guns and massacre his family?" Rick sent Alice glances as he spoke, and she got the feeling that she wasn't welcome there.

"His family's dead, Rick."

"I'm going to pack up our things," Alice said, "It'd be nice to have some food, water, ammo, anything to help us out on the road, Rick."

* * *

Alice was smoking, smoke drifting about her in tendrils. The sun was reaching for the horizon, still a few hours off the night, giving them enough time if they left now.

"Quotin' the bible, huh? Didn't peg you for a churchgoer," Shane rested his elbow against the hood of the car, the one she was currently sat on.

"My aunt was religious, used to tell me about God when she came down."

"I thought you didn't have any other family."

"My aunt, my cousin," she said, "She died before this, car accident. My cousin, he was on a long trip with his missus, last I heard. China, Japan, 'round the world like that."

"You were close?"

"Not really. Christmas holiday visits only. He's thirty - was. Accountant or something," Alice shrugged, took another drag of her smoke, "They're all gone now. We all are."

"We?"

"We're all pretty much dead, acting like we aren't. We're all a cosmic second. It was just about worth it before, but now?"

"The hell are you sayin', girl?" Shane banged one hand against the hood of the car, "You thinkin' 'bout the stars again?"

"We're both leaving, Shane, tonight. We should go soon, before it gets dark," she said, "The pain that we caused Hershel and Beth? Not sure that I can live with being that person."

"You have to live with it-" Shane ran a hand over his bald head, "We ain't leavin'. Hershel, he'll come around."

"I packed our things into the Hyundai. Andrea is packing up now, too, she wants to come." Alice said, tapping the ash off of her cig, "I'd ask Daryl, but you'll kill him."

"We ain't-"

"We are," Alice said, "We stay, Rick gets us killed. Or maybe you finally lose yourself - so we're gonna leave tonight, alright?"

Shane was still for a moment before he nodded, "Ask Dixon if you want, just don't expect me to like it. I still ain't happy that you elected not to tell me about the baby. You want us to leave to get outta this whole mess, that right?"

"Something like that," she said, "I know you think I betrayed you but I care. That's why we have to leave, not just because Hershel wants us gone but because it's what's best for us."

"For us, or for me?" Shane let out a small laugh, shook his head, and started walking away before Alice could say more. She watched as Shane started walking back to the camp, likely to check their empty tent. In the end, she'd left it behind. The tent was too impractical for the road and a waste of space.

Alice tried to conceal the shake in her hands as she pulled the map from where it was tucked under her leg, holding her cig between her lips as she unfolded it and ran her eyes back over the circles she'd drawn on. Places to loot, places to stay.

She was terrified to leave, but she'd seen something in Shane today. He was losing himself.

She threw the end of her cig into the grass and started walking towards Daryl's new camp. Out there was dangerous, but Alice would do whatever she had to to get them out of the viper's nest of a group, even if that meant leaving friends behind.

* * *

 **A/N : Whew, ok, so that's the barn. I won't lie, I'm not as proud of this as other chapters, but I'm happy with it and I didn't want to make yous wait any longer : )**

So, Sophia isn't in the barn, Shane, Andrea and Alice are leaving and Lori's Shanebaby news is out - what do you guys think will happen next? Season 2b is going off book quite a bit since I didn't want to bore you guys with the same old plotlines - so I'm curious as to what you want to see or think will happen!

As always, I hope you enjoyed reading and if you did, follows/favourites/reviews are always appreciated but never required. Love you guys 3 I'll see you next week with... well, that'd be a spoiler, wouldn't it? ;)


	15. 15 - Southern Hospitality

**Part Two - Disunity**

 **15 - Southern Hospitality**

* * *

Alice had her hands in her pockets as she approached the little camp, idly thumbing the flint of the lighter with one hand. The man was sat against a tree, whittling a stick down to a point.

"Daryl?"

"What d'ya want?" Daryl didn't look up from his whittling.

"I wanted to ask - if you want to come with us. Leaving the farm," Alice shifted on the spot, "I know that it's a lot to ask, but…"

"Think ya should be sayin' goodbye," he glanced up from the stick, just for a moment, before he resumed forcefully scraping at the wood with his knife, "Ya want me ta come out on the road with Officer nuttier-than-squirrel-shit Walsh and the woman who shot me in the head?"

Daryl let out a scoff as he continued whittling and Alice pulled the pack of smokes from her back pocket, taking an uninvited seat on a log opposite Daryl and holding one out. He looked up, staring at the offered cigarette, and made to dismiss the object but addiction got the better of him and he paused before nodding, snatching it from her grasp.

"You need a light?" Alice asked, using her own red lighter to light up hers.

"Nawh," Daryl had pulled out his zippo, and Alice watched in fascination as he slid it along the seam of his pants to spark the flame. She was used to cheap plastic lighters, not the more expensive Zippo.

"Neat trick," she said, "I know Shane and Andrea aren't great, but neither is this group."

"I ain't leavin' that little girl out there," Daryl raised his hand, angrily pointing the stick in Alice's direction, "No one's takin' this damn seriously 'cept me so I guess I'mma have ta be the one that finds 'er."

"Is that why you moved your camp all the way out here?" Alice crossed her legs beneath herself, "A lot was going on today. I meant to come out with you."

"'S a damn shit-show," Daryl moved his knife and wood to the ground beside his legs before stretching them out and taking a drag, meeting Alice's eyes, "Might see ya around. You see my brother, you tell him where I am."

"I don't exactly want to leave," Alice felt uncomfortable under the accusing gaze. She looked down, using her free hand to pull at the grass. Smoke drifted around them both.

"Why ya leavin' then? You ain't gotta go with him."

"I can't just let him go out there alone. I bargained with Hershel for just him to leave - and everything with Lori and O- it's killing him. I can just see it, you know?" Alice couldn't stumble over the words fast enough, hoping that Daryl had missed it. She met his eyes, saw the question there but hoped he didn't put it all together.

"Ain't yer job ta go around babysittin'," Daryl rolled his eyes, shook his head.

"What's your deal with him, anyway? You two seem to hate each other."

"Man went after his brother's girl. That shit ain't on," Daryl took a pull from his smoke, his eyes narrowed as he looked back in the direction of camp, "Ain't you s'posed ta be packin' or somethin'?"

"I guess," Alice felt the dismissal and stood, "So it's…Bye?"

"Seeya," he said, and Alice felt the sting in the words. He thought she was betraying them all, or maybe just him, by leaving. Alice squashed that thought before it could blossom because Daryl had no _logical_ reason to be mad at her for leaving him.

Alice was aware of Lori walking toward's Daryl's camp as she set off towards the groups little circle of tents. She hoped that the woman wouldn't stop to speak to her but had no such luck.

"Alice," Lori's eyes were wide enough that Alice decided to stop, "Have you seen Hershel?"

"No, it's just Daryl out there," Alice didn't look at the mother and took three precautionary steps away from her as she kept her cig in hand, "Why?"

"Beth collapsed. We think she's in shock," Lori said. Alice's breath got trapped in her throat.

"Hershel just ran off?"

"We don't know."

"Go and find him then," Alice growled, despite the fact that Lori was clearly already doing that, and threw her smoke to the floor and stomped on it before rushing off towards the house.

* * *

The room was quiet, only Glenn sat beside Beth's bedside.

"What happened?" Alice asked, staring at the way Beth was so cold and still. Her skin, when Alice reached out and touched her arm, was clammy.

"She just collapsed," Glenn said, "They're in Hershel's room, trying to work out where he went,"

Alice grabbed a small pile of folded up clothes off of the chair, gently raising Beth's sneakered feet and placing them underneath. She didn't know what else to do for shock. Elevate the legs - but what else? They needed Hershel.

She grabbed a spare blanket, shaking it out from it's folds before lying it over Beth, gently tucking it against her side. You had to keep them warm, right?

"I'm going to see if I can't find Hershel," Alice pinched the bridge of her nose. If Hershel was being eaten somewhere, or he'd cut and run with a single bullet, Beth was screwed. Alice knew that. She didn't know how to deal with this any better than anyone else here.

"You're really leaving the farm with Andrea and Shane?" Glenn looked up at her from where he sat, wringing his hand's together.

"Yeah," Alice swallowed, "Didn't think it would end somewhat like this when you found me in Atlanta, huh?"

"No, I thought you'd hit me over the head with a baseball bat," Glenn smiled, but it was melancholy, "You should stay. We can speak to Hershel."

"As much as being a third wheel to those two is a painful thought… I can't break that I promised to go with him. And besides, someone has to keep watch while they shag, right?" Alice shifted, uncomfortable with the confrontation about her leaving, "I'm going to try and help find Hershel."

She slipped from the room, cutting off whatever Glenn had prepared to stay, and walked down the hall to the next open door. Hershel's room. Maggie, Shane and Rick were inside. Alice was aware that Glenn had followed behind her into the room.

"These?" Rick asked, momentarily glancing up from the boxes filled with lace that he'd been rifling through. They sat on the bed, seemingly having been packed by the old man before he left.

"My step-mother's things," Maggie said, "He thought she'd get better and they'd just pick up where they left off."

"You don't think he'd end it all if she died?" Alice asked, drawing the attention of those in the room.

"He's a Christian man. He doesn't believe in it," Maggie said, "My daddy don't judge people for it, but he wouldn't do that."

"Yeah, well we'll see if he doesn't believe in it when he's got severe depression," the words were sour on Alice's tongue, a reminder that people just didn't get it. Sometimes, your mind just didn't give you a choice.

"Nawh well, looks like he found an old friend instead," Shane piped up, throwing something across the room. As Rick caught it, Alice realised what the silver metal, covered partially in a brown wrap, was; A flask.

"That belonged to my grandfather. Gave it to my dad when he died," Maggie said, confusion in her voice. She took the flask from Rick, turning it about in her hands.

"I didn't take Hershel for a drinker," Rick remarked. Alice saw Shane and Rick, for a second, look at each other. They'd been cops - of course they'd already figured this out themselves. Alice felt her brain chugging up to speed. Hershel, if he'd gotten that flask out, must have gone for a stiff drink.

"No, he gave it up on the day I was born, he didn't even allow liquor in the house," Maggie said, putting the flask away in a drawer as though she couldn't quite face it. Lori slipped into the room then, having returned from wherever she'd been asking people about Hershel, and quietly listened.

"What's the bar in town?" Rick asked.

"Hatlin's. He practically lived there in his drinking days," Maggie said. Alice let out a long sigh. It was the bar she'd dragged Maggie into, searching for a gun. The thing was dusty, dark, and mostly stocked with shitty dark liquor.

"Then I'm bettin' that's where I'll find him," Rick said, his drawl thick as he slowly stepped forward.

"Hey, I've seen the place, I'll take you," Glenn offered.

"I'll come," Alice said, "I might not have been a day-to-day drinker, but I'm familiar with drinking almost every night to lose your mind. I can't imagine that either of you get it, and I've been in that bar before."

"Alright, I'll get the truck," Rick gave Alice a long, curious glance before moving to leave the room.

"No," Maggie grabbed Glenn's arm, looking at him with wide eyes.

"It's an easy run," Glenn said,

"Like the pharmacy," Maggie looked at Alice, clutching Glenn's arm even tighter, "Do you both gotta go?"

"We're all capable, and we'll be careful; it's nearly dark," Alice said, absentmindedly itching at the small healing scab on her wrist.

"Maggie?" Rick gently touched Maggie's arm, "I'll bring him back."

Rick left the room, followed swiftly by Lori, and Alice moved over to Shane to avoid the sharp 'Rick' that she heard the woman call out. No need to listen to that argument.

"Thought we was leavin' soon, 'fore it gets too dark?"

"We can't leave Beth here to die. She needs Hershel," Alice didn't voice how terrifying going out there, just the three of them, was. None of them were medically trained, and while Shane and Andrea were good shots they were completely averse to silent weapons. It was easier to put off leaving than face up to it, "We can leave first thing in the morning."

"You sure you're good going out there?" Shane rubbed at his head, "Maybe I should come along."

"We won't have enough room in the car for Hershel."

"If the old man is even alive," Shane ran his hand down his face, leaning down to whisper to Alice, "Let me ask you somethin', do you think he's gonna survive all the walkers he's no doubt drawn on himself drivin' into town just before nightfall?"

"They are more active at night," Alice looked out the window, at the orangey sky, "We have a few hours."

"You be careful out there," he nodded his head thoughtfully for a moment, hand still covering his mouth and nose, before turning back to her, "I'mma get you a gun from the bag, make sure ya got somethin' jus' incase."

"It'll be too loud, especially at night."

"I jus' got a bad feelin'," Shane started striding towards the doorway, Alice in tow, "Better bein' safe than sorry, right?"

* * *

"It's gonna be real cozy out there with you and the two lovebirds, huh?" Rick smirked at Alice in the rearview mirror. She sat in the back, behind Rick, her head resting against the window. Glenn was up front with Rick, directing the way to town.

"And?"

Rick's face fell, "You aren't bothered about those two?"

"Why would I be?" Alice checked the safety of the gun tucked into her pants before placing it back. The same gun she'd practiced with, the same gun she'd used earlier that day at the barn. Some things just seemed to come back around to you.

"I was just bettin' on what all this secrecy with you two is about," Rick shrugged, shifting his eyes back to the road, but Alice could see the way his eyes were scrunched up and his jaw set that he wasn't satisfied with the answer he'd gotten for whatever it was he was questioning, "You should stay. We could use you."

"Nice persuasion skills," Alice rolled her eyes, shifting under her seatbelt to put her legs up on the seat beside her, her back against the window. Even in this, a crash could kill, and Alice didn't want that to be her method of death, "I won't leave Shane to be alone out there."

"An' you think you're gonna make it out there?"

"Nice confidence boost. If I'm so useless, why am I in this car right now?"

"Hershel listened to you today. Maybe he will now," Rick suggested. Alice said nothing and instead fidgeted with the seatbelt, running her fingers along the edge. She didn't want to be a drain on resources, someone who had to be protected, but she felt like it.

"Maggie said that she loves me," Glenn blurted out. Alice felt the smile cross her face before she'd even processed the words properly, "She doesn't mean it. She can't."

"Why's that Glenn?" Alice asked. Glenn's self-esteem issues were a nice change of pace. Something else to think about.

"I mean- well she's upset or-or confused. She's probably feeling like-"

"I think Maggie's smart enough to know what she's thinking," Rick interrupted.

"Don't tell a woman her feelings aren't real. She'll kill you with _words_ if you do," Alice tilted her head against the window, watching the way that Glenn jittered in the seat. The cool of the window against the side of Alice's forehead was calming.

"No-no- you know what? She just needs something to hold onto or-"

"Glenn, it's pretty obvious to everyone that Maggie loves you and not just because you're one of the last men standing," Rick said, "So what's the problem?"

"I didn't say it back," Glenn said, "I've never had a woman say that to me before, except of course my mom and my sisters. But with Maggie it's different. We barely know each other. I didn't know what to do with it, I just stood there like a jerk."

"Hey, this is a good thing. Something we don't get enough of anymore. Enjoy it."

"Spoken like a man whose been living in all of this for years. Can you see the future, Rick?" Alice leaned forward and put a hand on the side of Glenn's leather seat, "Glenn, I used to always refuse it. 'You don't mean it, you don't even know me'. You have to let yourself realise that hey, as all-knowing as you feel about yourself and them? They're the same. She knows that she loves you or she wouldn't have said it. Maggie isn't the kind of girl to say it for the sake of saying it."

"Wise words of wisdom, spoken like an old widower," Rick smiled at Alice in the rearview mirror, "You're both supposed to be kids to me, but I can see an old soul when I meet one."

"Thanks for calling my soul wrinkly," Alice scoffed.

"I take that back, then." Rick turned back to the road, but not without a small chuckle, and Glenn was positively red-faced as he grinned in the passenger seat. Alice figured that he'd finally realized that maybe, just maybe, Maggie did love him - and he loved her back.

* * *

Alice took up the rear as they stepped into the bar, the only light to illuminate it coming from the dusty windows. Hershel was perched at the bar, his back to them, and he was so still that Alice thought he might have been dead until he finished off the glass in his hand.

"Hershel," Rick said.

"Who's with you?" Hershel asked.

"Glenn and Alice," Rick said, slowly moving forwards into the room. Alice moved past him, pacing the long way around the room to slip behind the bar. Hershel gave her a small look as she did before lifting the bottle of liquor and filling his glass

"Maggie send him?"

"Nah, he volunteered. He's good like that," Rick, coming up behind Hershel.

"Beth collapsed," Alice took the bottle, moving it out of Hershel's reach, "She needs you."

"Is Maggie with her?"

"Yeah," Rick said, "But Beth needs you."

"What she needs is her mother. Or rather, to mourn like she should've done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now," Hershel raised his glass, downing half in one, barely flinching at the burn.

"You thought that they could come back," Alice sensed that they'd be here awhile. She pulled her own glass from under the bar and poured her own liquor out. She sniffed it, and smelt the whiskey. She couldn't stand the stuff, "We all did, at some point. Now you know."

"I was a fool," Hershel idly moved his glass on the bar before him. Alice looked over the man's figure and saw Rick watching her. He slowly nodded.

"Whiskey, I can't really drink this stuff. But I have before, trying to get out of my own mind. To stop feeling guilt," Alice took a small sip and scrunched her face up at the burn, "When a friend died, back when I was young, I turned back to drinking all the time. And, years later - coming here, I was running away again. It doesn't fix it. I wasn't at home when my family needed me - don't make the same mistake. If Beth dies and you don't even try to help her then that's on you."

"Don't tell me how to look after my family," Hershel slammed his glass on the counter, "Haven't you done enough? She's in shock because she saw her mother be shot down before her eyes."

"I am sorry about that, Hershel, but it had to be done-"

"You can't blame yourself for holding out hope," Rick interrupted Alice, sending her a cold glance. But she could hear more in his voice than that - with chances of Sophia's survival almost nothing, it made sense. Everyone but Rick and Daryl seemed to want to give up.

"Hope?" Hershel scoffed, and Rick moved to his side, "When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms I had little hope he would survive."

"But he did."

"He did. Even though we lost Otis. Your man Shane made it back and we saved your boy," Hershel sighed, "That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist. Only it was a sham, a bait and switch. I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that. Just go."

Alice felt her gut clench. It was less of a miracle than they thought; Shane hadn't survived through God's will. He'd survived because he'd killed Otis. One life and a man's sanity in exchange for the original price of three lives. None of them understood how much Shane and Otis had given that night to keep Carl alive. Otis - well they understood that he was dead, but they had no ides what Shane had done to himself. Maybe if they did - maybe if he wasn't so alone…

"I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe," Rick said.

"Just go," Hershel reiterated, angrily standing and turning to Rick, "I'm no good for my girls anymore."

"Hershel -" Alice reached over the bar and gently grasped his shoulder, "You're their father. What I wouldn't give to have my parents here now…"

"You know what the truth is? Dead is death. It's always been there, whether it's from a heart attack, cancer, or a walker. What's the difference? You didn't think it was hopeless before, did you? Now there's people back home trying to hang on," Rick stared into the older man's eyes as he spoke, "They need us, even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves. You know what? This- this isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them."

"Son of a bitch. They're alive," Alice turned, seeing the two men in the entrance of the bar. One was fairly overweight, the other skinny, grinning at them like they were prey as the bar's door bounced against the wall. Her heart seemed to stop and then start again at double the pace.

"I'm Dave," the skinnier man said, dropping into one of the seats at a table, "The scrawny looking douchebag over there is Tony."

"Eat me, Dave," Tony said.

"Hey, maybe someday I will," Dave looked away, reaching for the dusty glass on the table, "What would it take for a nice lady like you to get us some drinks?"

Alice felt her skin crawl, but she moved five shot glasses onto the bar and slowly filled them with vodka. There was no need to be hostile, not yet. They were just two men in a bar. Two men who could very well just be survivors, just like them. Alice wanted to believe that, like Glenn and Hershel seemed to by the look in their eyes, but she'd seen too many bad groups. And - well Rick was looking at Dave and Tony like he didn't know what to think.

"Thank you, darlin'," he smiled, turning back to Rick, "We met on I-95 comin' outta Philly. What a shitshow that was."

Rick grabbed them, nodding at her before passing them out. Hospitality and all that.

"I'm Glenn. It's nice to meet some new people," Alice cast Glenn a look, but he hadn't given anything important away. These guys could be good men - but something about the way Tony was leaning against the bar and leering at Alice made her nervous.

"Rick Grimes," the deputy added, and Alice felt compelled to speak up.

"Alice Lockwood," she said, placing her hands around her glass, "We all met near Atlanta."

"Atlanta, hell, I thought we'd seen a shitshow? Nice to meet you, Miss Lockwood," Dave grinned at her, "What about you, Bill, you havin' one?"

"I just quit," Hershel said. Alice looked at Hershel's ignored glass. Good. He'd had enough.

"You got a unique sense of timing, my friend," Dave said, and Alice couldn't help but laugh. Dave seemed ok, in a way, it was Tony she worried about.

"His name's Hershel. He lost people today," Rick said, "A lot of 'em."

"I'm truly sorry to hear that," Dave said, raising his glass into the air and seeming the most genuine he had in the last five minutes, "To better days and new friends. And to our dead. May they be in a better place."

Alice grabbed her own glass, throwing it back and swallowing the burning liquid. She scrunched up her face, and opened her eyes in time to see Dave pulling a gun out to show to Rick.

"Not bad, huh? I got it off a cop."

"I'm a cop," Rick quickly rebuked, and from the curtness of his answer, Alice figured he was more suspicious of these men than she was. Maybe there was something about being a cop that gave you a sense for these things, and Rick was eye fucking the hell out of Dave right then.

"This one was already dead," Dave defended himself.

Alice kept her back angled away from Tony, who was closer. She didn't want him to get a glimpse of her gun. Alice, who was behind Hershel at the bar and uncomfortably close to Tony, saw the way the larger man shifted his predatory gaze from Dave to Rick, then to her. She shuddered.

"You fellas are a long way from Philadelphia," Rick said, prodding them for information as gently as he could.

"Feels like we're a long way from anywhere," Dave grinned.

"Well, what drove you south?"

"I can tell you it wasn't the weather. I musta dropped thirty pounds in sweat alone down here." Dave said.

"I wish," Tony smiled, giving Dave a look. Alice needed to get out of here now.

 _Help me, please, please, no no no no stop, stop, S'il vous plaît, please!_

Alice pressed her fingers against her closed eyes as though it might force away the memories.

"First it was DC. Thought there might have been some kinda refugee camp, but the roads are so jammed we never even got close - decided to get off the highways, into the sticks, keep hauling ass," Dave said, "Every group we came across had a new rumour of a way outta this thing."

"Some guy told us the Coast Guard down in the Gulf were sending ferries to the islands," Tony said, shifting to stretch his arm across the bar so that it was near Alice. He winked at her, and she looked away.

"Latest was a railyard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country. Kansas and Nebraska." Dave said. Alice knew that these were all pipe dreams, but it didn't mean that nowhere was safe. She'd given up on a cure, and the old world, but Fort Benning, survivor camps, they all had to still exist. Humanity wasn't going extinct.

"Nebraska," Glenn laughed.

"Low population, lots of guns," Tony said, "Women there are a four at best but cooze is cooze."

Alice grimaced, and at Rick's cautious look she refrained from saying anything. She wanted to throw a drink on him, or worse. Without laws, who knew what this guy had been doing to get.. _Cooze._ Alice hadn't known what cooze was but it didn't take a genius to figure out what he meant.

"You ever been to Nebraska, kid?" Dave asked, and Alice sensed that they were ganging up on Glenn for a reason, "There's a reason they call 'em flyover states."

Even Rick smiled at that, while Glenn laughed, but Alice didn't know much about the rest of the states as it was. She was hesitant to ask where Philadelphia was, but from the sounds of it these men had travelled far. What had they done to survive?

"What about you guys?" Dave asked.

Alice paused, even as Rick said, "Fort Benning, eventually."

"I hate to piss in your cornflakes officer but - we ran across a guard who was stationed at Benning. Said the place is overrun by lamebrains."

"Wait, Fort Benning is gone? Are you for real?" Glenn asked.

"Sadly, I am." Dave said. Alice looked between the two men. Fort Benning being gone - fuck - but it wasn't her biggest concern. Dave and Tony had a lot of 'guys' they'd run into, and she was wondering if they weren't part of a bigger group that was growing with every guy they met and brought into the fold.

"Truth is, there is no way outta this mess. Just keep going from one pipe dream to the next, praying one of these mindless freaks doesn't grab ahold of you while you sleep."

"If you sleep," Tony added.

"Yeah… yeah, it doesn't look like you guys are hanging your hats here," Dave looked at them all, "You all holed up somewhere else?

"Not really," Rick said, narrowing his eyes in the man's direction.

"We should go, though," Alice backed up towards Glenn where he was also behind the bar, away from Tony, "We need to find somewhere safe to stay for the night and the sun's setting."

"Those your cars out front?" Dave pointed towards the door with his thumb, and Alice was about to deny him-

"Yeah," Glenn said. Alice and Rick both sent him angry glances, "Right."

"We're livin' in ours… yours look kinda… empty, clean. Where's all your gear?" Alice shifted one hand to the gun at her back, but wasn't sure she could actually use it. Not to shoot a person.

"Like we said, we lost people today. We lost our home." The two men's eyes landed on her, and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as Dave glanced at the small amount of cleavage visible over the top of her tank top. Tony was less subtle, undressing her with her eyes. She pulled her leather jacket tighter around herself.

"We thought we could use a drink after what we've seen today," Hershel said. Alice sent him a grateful glance as he drew the men's attention to himself.

"A drink? Hershel, I thought you quit," Dave said, "Well - we're thinking of settin' up round here, is it safe, what with what happened to your group?"

"It can be-" Glenn began.

"Herds of walkers keep on coming through," Alice interrupted him. Dave and Tony gave each other a look, and she regret speaking. Whatever Glenn was going to say probably wasn't as obvious as interrupting him, "That's what happened to the rest of our people."

"Walkers, that what you call 'em?" Dave scratched the back of his neck, "That's good, I like that. I like that better than lame brains - so what, you guys were set up on the outskirts or something'?"

"A trailer park or something? A farm?" Tony asked, getting up with his shotgun under his arm, pacing across the room. Alice tensed and pulled her gun from her waistband, keeping it held behind her back. Dave was staring at her, and she gently placed it on the counter behind herself and stayed leaning against it, covering it.

"Old Macdonald had a farm…" Dave trailed his singing off and Tony laughed. The mockery was all Alice needed to confirm her suspicions about the two.

"You got a farm?" Dave asked. They were excused from answering by the sound of Tony pissing in the corner.

"It safe?" the pissing man asked.

"Man it's gotta be. Got food, water…" Dave said, leaning forward on his chair and watching Rick intently.

"You got more cooze than this one? I ain't had a piece of ass in weeks," Tony said. Dave flashed Alice a sickly sweet smile.

"Pardon my friend - city kids, they ain't got no tact," Dave rubbed his eyes, like he wasn't happy with Tony's behaviour, but Alice could see what they were doing, "I mean no disrespect. So Glenn-"

"We've said enough. Just like we told you, we lost our base and our people," Rick interrupted. He shifted on his stool, his hand close to his colt. Dave was trying to get Glenn to spill everything to him.

"How about a little Southern Hospitality? We got a few others back at camp having a real bad time," Alice's blood went cold. Tony hadn't had a woman in _weeks,_ which meant he'd been getting it even after the world went to shit- she had a good idea of what their 'others' were like with women, "We could pool our resources, work together."

"We lost our farm," Alice spat, "Lost people today, a lot of them, so stop barking up the wrong tree."

"See, y'all look pretty clean for people who survived - what did you call it, a herd? Yeah, you look pretty clean. I don't know, somethin' just seems a little fishy," Dave flashed Alice a toothy grin, "I understand if y'all are being careful, I do, but you must be real scared and lonely, sweetheart. Wouldn't we all be a little safer with some more able bodies in one camp?"

"We can't take in any more," Hershel said, "I'm sorry."

"Y'all are somethin' else," Dave said, "We got people we gotta look out for too. I thought we were friends."

The frustration was building in the room, and Alice was terrified. If it devolved into a firefight - say Alice didn't die in it, what would happen to her then? Worse.

"We don't know anything about you," Rick said, and Dave cast his eyes down.

"That's true. You don't know anything about us," Dave looked up at Rick from under lowered brows, "You don't know what we've had to go through out there. The things we've had to do. I bet you've had to do some of those same things yourself, am I right?"

Alice ran her hands down her face. What made her and Shane any different from these men here - were they just as bad, minus the possible raping and callous murdering?

"See, nobody's hands clean in what's left of this world. We're all the same," Dave said, and Alice looked over to Rick as though he could understand, and forgive, all in that moment. But he didn't know, and he couldn't ever know, "So come on, let's take a nice friendly hayride to this farm and we'll get to know each other."

"That's not gonna happen," Rick splayed one hand out into the air, a dismissive gesture.

"This is bullshit," Tony spat, having turned back from his piss.

"Calm down," Rick said.

"Don't tell me to calm down. Don't ever tell me to calm down. How about I shoot you three assholes in the head and take ya woman and ya damn farm," Tony spat, and Rick stood up to stand between the two men. Alice's words got caught up into a lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow.

Dave jumped between them, arms splayed out, shouting, "Woah woah woah woah, relax. Easy. No one's killing anybody."

Dave leaped over the bar, thankfully on the other side of the L-shape to Glenn and Alice, "No one's shooting anybody, right Rick?"

Tony reached for his pistol, and Alice did the same, trying not to betray her fear as she let her hand languidly rest on the pistol where it lay on the bar. Dave looked between her and Tony before laying his own gun onto the counter.

"We're just friends having a drink, that's all. Now - where's the good stuff," Dave started rubbing his hands together as he searched under the bar, "Good stuff, good stuff, good stuff."

Alice had a feeling he was looking for a gun, just like Alice had with Maggie a day earlier. Rick must have had the same idea because he clasped his Colt as Dave leaned below the bar. The stranger paused for a moment at that before popping up with a bottle of something.

"There, got it," Dave started pouring drinks and he slid one across the bar to Alice. She took the opportunity to lift her pistol, keeping it in her hand and with the safety off, moving a little closer to Dave to grab the glass. It put her out of Tony's line of fire here and meant she could turn on Dave if she had to.

Alice downed the Southern Comfort with one gulp. Dave nodded to her as she drank and continued, "You know what it's like out there. We can't stay out there."

"Yeah, I do. But the farm's too crowded as it is; you'll have to keep looking." Were the really openly admitting about the farm now?

"There's a camp at the airport," Alice lied, "I was on one of the last planes over, was supposed to stay there, but I had to find my cousin - Rick."

"Airport? Heard from a guy-"

"Lots of guys seem to be telling you lots of things," Alice said, "It was secure, last I heard. That's our next plan since Benning is gone."

"That so?" Dave laughed, "Cause that close to the city - deadzone. So where are we supposed to go?"

"I hear Nebraska's nice," Rick said, causing Dave to burst out into laughter.

Dave smiled to himself, "Nebraska…This guy…" And reached for his waist, drawing his gun onto Rick-

The gunshot boomed as Dave fell to the floor, blood coming from his chest, and then another as Tony went down. A third as Rick shot Tony in the head. Alice clutched at her gun with two shaking hands, frozen in place. Both men were already dead.

"Quickdraw Grimes. You sure you're not a full blown Sheriff?" Alice asked, her voice shaking and lilting as she struggled to comprehend. The puddle of blood from Dave's body was leaking around the side of the bar.

Hershel gave Rick a long look, but Alice didn't care for the scripture's rules. She wouldn't allow herself to be raped and shot just to avoid breaking a commandment. Though she'd been too slow, too scared, to react. If Rick had drawn any slower, his life would have been on her.

Her gun was _in her hand._

As the three men surrounded Tony's body, Alice stared at Dave's. His blood leaking out of his corpse.

"You all alright?"

Glenn nodded at Rick, then Hershel did, but Alice just shrugged. She hadn't been able to save Delia, and she hadn't been able to shoot to save Rick. She wasn't good at this.

"Hey, we had to. Nobody needs to feel bad here. They drew on us," Rick said.

"It's not that," Alice said, grabbing Dave's gun from beside his body. She thought she could work it.

"Car," Rick hissed, and Alice dropped down beside the bar as the headlights shone through the windows. Rick, Glenn and Hershel pressed themselves under the windows, but Alice was too scared to move and instead stayed behind the bar, keeping her eye on the windows as she was crouched.

"Dave? Tony?" a male voice outside yelled. Alice's heart sank. She popped up, enough to barely see through the windows, and spotted the three dark figures as they split up. She held up three fingers to Rick and he nodded.

"Man, I heard shots. Might be more roamers on their way so if it gets hot we gotta get out of here," one of them said before calling out, "Dave! Tony!"

The shadow of a man was cast over the door, getting bigger, and Alice dropped so that she was completely hidden behind the bar. The voices faded away, and when she peeked up again, the shadow was gone. Rick slowly peered out of the windows before gesturing to Alice and she joined the three, crouched in a circle on the floor. She could hear her heart murmuring in her ears which made it hard to hear the whispers.

"We can't stay here any longer. We can get out the back way, run to the car," Rick whispered. They heard far-off gunshots, and Alice panicked without cover, moving past Hershel to get into the corner.

Rick looked out the window before looking back at them, and Alice checked that Dave's pistol was still securely in her belt before checking the safety on hers.

The door swung open, and Glenn leaped forward. Slammed his back against the door so it closed.

"Holy shit, man," one of the men outside called, "Yo, is someone in there? If someone's in there we don't want no trouble."

The four were silent, though Alice found herself looking at the corpses of the two men.

"Yo, if someone's in there and you could help us not get eaten by lamebrains I'd really appreciate it!" the man outside yelled. There was silence, and it seemed like they might have been walking away, assuming walkers to be inside.

Rick raised his hand to his face, and Alice thought he might have been doing a cross in the air before he yelled, "They drew on us."

Glenn stiffened. Hershel sent Rick a dirty look. Alice felt sweat dripping down the back of her neck.

"Dave and Tony in there? They alive?" the same voice asked.

"No," Rick yelled.

Alice heard a voice begging for them to leave, but the brasher guy refused, "I'm not gonna go back and say Dave and Tony got shot by some assholes in a bar-"

"Your friends drew on us," Rick screamed, defending his actions, "They gave us no choice. We've all lost enough people. Some things you wish you didn't have to - but it's like that now. You know that. So let us just chalk this up to what it was, wrong place, wrong-"

Alice knew what the silence was because of now. Gunshots shattered the windows over the door. They'd gotten into fucking position. They should have run while they had the chance.

Rick stood, shot through the hole in the glass, "Get outta here, go!"

Alice sprinted behind Hershel and Glenn, using a barstool to leap over the bar and crouch behind it, aiming her pistol at the windows. She fired off some warning shots when she was sure she wouldn't hit Rick. Glenn was behind the piano and Hershel was in a doorway.

Rick started reloading his Colt as he shouted, but Alice wasn't really listening. He nodded to Glenn, and Glenn snuck into the back room. As he crept back there, Alice kept her sights on the front doors.

A gunshot echoed, and at Rick's nod, Alice sprinted through into the back room.

"I'm alright," Glenn yelled, but Alice was already there. She kept her gun raised with both hands, just like Rick had shown her, and approached the door that Glenn was beside, pressed against the wall. The glass had been shot out through one pane.

"We're going to make it back," Alice said.

"This isn't like Stoneley Mall," Glenn whimpered. He was slick with sweat from his fear, but Alice wasn't much different, "We're being shot at."

"We're making it back," Alice checked her safety for the hundredth time, "I'll take a bullet for you."

Glenn shook his head, not realising how serious Alice was. There were footsteps behind them. Alice turned, weapon raised, as did Glenn. Hershel stood, arms in the air.

"Sorry," Glenn breathed in relief.

"Rick wants you to try for the car," Hershel told the boy.

"Try?"

"Try and succeed," Hershel said, giving Glenn's shoulder a reassuring fact.

"I'll go," Alice said, taking a deep breath, "I just said I'd take a bullet for you, didn't I?"

"I'm better at moving around quickly."

"I've seen people shot down before so maybe I won't react so bad, huh?" Alice said, "You have Maggie to go back to, anyway. I'm running."

Alice slowly pushed open the door missing it's window, creeping out with her pistol raised. She moved into the alleyway, trying to get around to the car - when a gunshot echoed in the alley. Alice dove to the ground, behind a dumpster. She patted herself where her limbs ached from the half-fall she'd taken to get behind the dumpster, but wasn't injured. Hershel took a shot from the doorway, and somewhere, a man screamed.

Alice shifted to a crouch, her head spinning, and checked her weapons. She couldn't get her breath back.

"Are you hit?" a voice called, and Alice peered out, gun aimed, to see Rick.

"No, I'm okay," she yelled, feeling worthless that she'd failed so close to the bar. Rick ducked behind the dumpster with her, checking her over for wounds. When he was satisfied, they both started poking out from behind the dumpster, trying to get back to the bar - Alice looked up just in time to see a man on the roof of the store. He fired at them. Rick dragged Alice back to the wall with himself. She got ready to pop up and give Rick covering fire.

She heard a car pull up, and the louder guy from before yell, "We gotta get outta here."

Alice and Rick leaned forward to see the man on the roof who'd shot at them yelling down to the man in the car. He was telling him to jump.

He'd never make it, not from that height. "Jump!"

The man - who actually seemed more like a young man jumped onto the metal roof next door. Bounced off it with a thud, slid down - and a horribly fleshy slicing sound was followed by a scream.

He hadn't made it.

The car drove off, only a "Sorry, man, I gotta go!" yelled out. Assholes run with assholes - or rather, birds of a feather flock together.

"Get Hershel," Rick shouted before running away from the dumpster.

"Rick, don't!" she yelled, but it was too late. He was going to the injured guy.

"Hershel, Glennl!" Alice yelled, at the sight of walkers behind the bar. They'd begun tearing apart the man Hershel had shot down - but Alice felt little empathy. She saw Hershel staring back at him, though.

"Did what you had to, Hershel," Alice said, "Come on."

"Where's Rick?" Glenn asked.

"He went to the other side," Alice growled, "He's gone to that fucker that shot at us."

Alice ran across the road, around the car, to Rick. The boy - which is what he was, a bit younger than Alice - had one leg impaled on a spiked fence.

"We have to go now," Hershel told Rick, "I'm sorry son, we have to go."

"Please, please-" the boy was crying. Alice didn't want to leave him here to be devoured - but the group he was a part of? His age, his predicament, that didn't mean shit. He'd shot at them, maybe done worse to people.

"We can't just leave him," Rick said.

"The walkers are coming, Rick," Alice said, "Put a bullet in his brain. It's better than he'd do for you."

"He's a kid," Rick said.

"He was just shooting at you and Alice!" Glenn yelled, "This place is crawling with walkers!"

"We can't leave him!" Rick shouted. Alice swore and raised her gun, shooting down a walker that had gotten too close. She'd have been proud of the shot, if not for the circumstance.

Rick started shaking the boy's leg, trying to get it off the post, causing the boy to scream and attract more of the dead. The gunshots and screams were a deadly combination, and Alice didn't doubt that any walker within a mile, maybe more, was on it's way to them.

"Shut up or I will shoot you," Rick ordered him, waving his gun in the air.

"That may be the answer," Hershel said.

"Do it, Rick, or I will," Alice yelled, standing beside Glenn in an attempt to hold off the growing tide of walkers. She couldn't - no, she had to shoot him. If Rick couldn't, she could. She had to, even if it killed her inside. Even if she couldn't live with it.

"Can't you just cut the leg off?" Glenn asked.

"That hatchet still in the car?" Rick asked, but his gaze fell onto Alice, "Your axe."

"No, Rick, we need to go, we don't have the time to - he'll draw in every walker for miles with his yelling. He was shooting us. Leave him," Alice yelled, turning to shoot a walker. She missed its head the first shot. On the second got it in the neck. She was out of bullets by the third shot.

Panicking, Alice flicked the safety on and shoved the gun into her belt in exchange for Dave's gun. She fumbled, trying to work out how it worked. Glenn shot down the two walkers, and Alice stuttered out thanks as she tried to figure out Dave's gun.

"We have to," Rick implored her. Hershel had taken off his shirt, leaving him in his t-shirt, and was tying it around the boy's leg. Alice let out a wordless growl of fear and anger as she shoved the axe into Rick's hand, "Hershel, you have to be quick."

"Guys, walkers!" Glenn screamed, and Alice ran out to him to see - a whole herd of them coming out of the darkness of the field.

"Rick, Rick we have to go _now!"_ Alice cried, fear choking her throat. Her jaw was shaking.

"Hurry up!" Glenn screamed, moving forward to start shooting. Alice joined him, desperately trying to aim with her sweaty grip and shaking hands.

Two gunshots behind her. Alice turned back to see walkers flooding into the alley from the other direction, surrounding them. Rick was trying to hold them off but they'd all be overwhelmed soon.

"Glenn!" she cried, raising her gun to get the closest to herself. She took down four more, missing most of her shots, before she ran out of ammo. Rick had her axe - she was defenseless. Alice didn't think she could breathe, "Glenn, I'm out! Rick!"

Rick looked at her before shooting a walker that was coming towards her retreating form, "Hershel, hurry!"

"There's dozens, we gotta go!" Glenn screamed. Alice heard a groan. Turned in time for the weight of the walker to drop onto her. Pin her to the ground. She screamed. Grabbed the thing by the throat. It was a man in a shirt and tie. She managed to get her knee to its chest, kicked, forcing the skinny bastard away from her. Alice scrambled backwards on her hands as the walker crawled after her. A hole appeared in it's dead - a good shot from Rick - and she rolled to her feet.

"Hershel, I just nearly died so lets fucking go," she screamed, running towards the older man. Rick joined her there. He grabbed the boy's leg and forced it up over the spike. The sound of ripping tendons made Alice nearly sick. Blood splashed her, and she reluctantly grabbed the boy's shoulders as they carried him to the car.

* * *

Alice was curled up in the front seat. Hershel had patched up the boy - his name was apparently Randall - best as he could, and now the boy was unconscious in the boot. Glenn, Hershel and Rick were talking outside, oblivious to the fact that Alice could hear them.

She was shaking still, Randall's blood splashed onto her shirt.

"Hershel, I know what you think of Shane, but this isn't about him," Rick was pleading, "If he goes out there, Alice and Andrea are going with him. If they run into the rest of Dave and Tony's group then - I'm sure you can imagine what'll happen to two women and one man."

"I want him off my land, Rick," Hershel said, "If you can't convince them not to join him then I can't be held accountable. I've done the Christian thing and given you people safe harbour."

"He isn't in his right mind," Rick said, "Don't condemn those two to worse than death out there. They won't leave him behind and you know that. I think that makes you a little accountable."

"We need them all if we run into that group again," Glenn said, "Alice can take down walkers like the Hero of Kvatch takes down Daedra - it's a video game - and Shane and Andrea are like Arma II level shooters."

Alice might have asked Glenn what the fuck he was on about, but she was tired, and Rick had given her permission to try and sleep in the car while Randall had his surgery. Not that she could with the way the kid's muffled screams were audible even through his gag.

Hershel looked between the two men and sighed. Alice watched from the corner of her eye. She didn't want to leave - didn't want to be out there, with that group of men, living out of the Hyundai and hoping they didn't starve - but she wasn't sure how else to do this. Shane needed to leave, everyone could see that, and Alice didn't know how to deal with the overwhelming chaos in the group.

"He can stay - but this is his last warning," Hershel said. Alice turned over in the chair, trying to get some sleep. Exhaustion was dragging at her, and by the lighter purple shade of the horizon, sunrise wasn't far away.

Her eyes grew heavy and she was only disturbed as the others got into the car. The rest of the journey home was quiet, and Alice slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N : Ok so this is a lotttt of episodes 8 and 9, but I do think they're pretty important and I didn't want to cut down that brilliant tension in the bar scenes to a couple lines. Also, damn, rewatching, I realised how awesome the cuts between T-Dog, Shane and Andrea burning bodies after Rick has just shot Dave and Tony is.**

 **Yes, this is early and probably not as good as it should be, but I'm super excited and it's 3am and I've been working on this all day and night tbh. By my count there's about 7 chapters left of Part 2, but depending how overambitious my planning was this might be more.**

 **I do have a hint though... Chapter 18 [or what should be chapter 18 as of right now] will have a pretty big canon divergence that I'm super excited to share wirh you guys :)**

 **What do you guys like or not like about all of this so far? Is there anything you hate or are curious about? No spoilers from me, ofc, but even if I can't fully answer a question I'm still curious!**

 **As always, I love and appreciate y'all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	16. 16 - He's Dangerous

**Part 2 - Disunity**

 **16 - He's Dangerous**

* * *

Alice woke up to the jostling of the car and the brightness of the sunrise coming through the windscreen. She jerked up, having slept through the ride home, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. They were pulling up the path to the farm, members of the group already gathered for their arrival. The Hyundai was parked with its boot open and full with supplies for a short run.

"Looks like they were just about to come looking for us," Rick brought the car to a stop, "Hershel, I need you to get Randall in surgery as quickly as possible."

"Of course," the older man said, unbuckling his seatbelt in preparation to move, "I'll do what I can but to do that, I need Patricia to be calm."

Alice missed what Rick said in return because her ears were ringing with Hershel's voice from another night. _We say nothing to Patricia. Not till after; I need her._

Rick got out first, leaping from the driver's seat and sprinting to hug Lori and Carl. Every time the man came back it was like that day when he first found them, back in the quarry. Alice was slower, pausing halfway out of the car to watch the Grimes' reunion before stumbling to her feet, slamming the door behind herself and covering her mouth as she yawned and searched the group for a man wielding a crossbow.

"Y'all good?" Shane got to her first, checking her for wounds before wrapping his arms around her and ruffling her hair, "What happened out there?"

"Just-" Alice paused, hearing snippets of what Rick and Lori were saying besides them, and slipped out of Shane's loose grasp.

"Accident? How?"

"I went lookin' for you," Lori told Rick. Alice pursed her lips.

"She went out there on her own. I brought her back," Shane said, and Alice looked between the two before pressing her knuckles against her lips. Lori had gone out there, on her own, and gotten into a car accident? On empty roads? She was pregnant; she shouldn't be doing that shit. And _Shane_ had been the one to bring her back. None of this was in any way good. Playing the hero wasn't going to help him move on. Alice took a deep breath and tried not to say anything.

"Who the hell is that?" T-Dog called, and Alice followed his outstretched arm to the open window of the red car they'd returned in.

"That's Randall," Glenn said, and Alice shared in his annoyance as he looked away.

"He's one of the guys who shot at us," Alice scowled, and instead turned her attention to finding Daryl. He was stood leaning against a tree under it's shade, legs crossed as he observed the scene. She joined him silently, looking back on the brewing chaos around the red car. Around Randall.

"You mean to tell me that this guy shot at you an' you brought him back here, that right?" Alice saw Shane and Rick exchange a long look, but she just couldn't be bothered.

"Daryl, mind if I come looking for Sophia with you? I slept on the way back," Alice felt her cheeks grow red at the hunter's disbelieving look, "I can be quiet, and maybe I could learn how to track."

"Alrigh'," he shrugged, "Ain't you leaving'?"

Alice looked towards Rick, currently talking in low tones to Shane, "Rick talked Hershel out of it, but he thinks I don't know yet."

Daryl nodded but Alice didn't know if he was nodding to her staying or nodding to her coming out with him. They were studying the conversation between the two officers just like Alice was. Shane was tense but Rick just looked exhausted, like Glenn, Hershel, and Alice. Hershel was currently attempting to get Randall from the car, Patricia nowhere in sight and likely preparing somewhere for him to be treated. Alice narrowed her eyes at the old man.

"We're all gonna have a nice little meetin' inside, now," Shane announced, striding off towards the house before anyone else could even start to move. Alice took a deep breath, knowing today was going to be a shitty hell of a day.

* * *

"We couldn't just leave him behind; he woulda bled out," Rick said, one foot up on the chair at the head of the table. Alice was perched on the windowsill between Shane and Andrea, wondering where Daryl had gone.

"It's gotten bad in town," Glenn said. He was sat around the long dining table with the others. Alice had a twisting feeling in her gut that this wouldn't be the last time they'd all be gathered like this, discussing something like this.

"What do you propose we do with him?" Andrea asked, and Alice found herself nodding along with the woman. She didn't think Rick should have brought him back. Not someone who'd shot at them. And they definitely shouldn't be wasting their medical supplies on him.

"I repaired his calf muscle as best as I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week," Hershel wiped his hands on a cloth as he stood behind Rick, having just slipped into the house moments earlier after the group had been waiting for him.

"When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way, "

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea asked.

"Or for him to get back to his group," Alice pointed out, "I'm not comfortable with playing savior to someone who wanted to kill us."

"See that's a valid point, Rick, we just gonna let him go when he knows where we are?" Shane rubbed his palm down his forehead. Daryl silently slipped through the door and took up against the wall near it. Alice flashed him a small smile in greeting.

"He was blindfolded the whole way here, he's not a threat," Rick said, but Alice scoffed, inadvertently drawing the attention to herself.

"Dave and Tony figured out we were on a farm pretty quickly - it won't take him too long for him and his group to find this place."

Rick tilted his head towards her, his gaze burning into Alice, begging her not to go against him - but Alice didn't care for his following excuse, "There are dozens of farms around here, there is no way that they'd find us just-"

"Most of the farms around here are full of walkers or burnt down," Maggie had an arm twined with Glenn's on the table, "We ain't far off the highway.""

"You know what?" Shane propelled himself off the wall, "I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy," Shane scoffed as he went, slapping the top of his head, "Look at this folks, we back in fantasy land."

"You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet," Hershel raised his voice, "Let me make the perfectly clear, once and for all. This is my farm. Now, I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favor and keep your mouth shut." Shane left without a word, angrily closing the door so that it shook on its hinges.

"We're staying, then?" Andrea asked, looking between Rick and Hershel. Alice stormed past Hershel, stopping in the doorway at Andrea's question.

"Not if Rick's trying to get us shot and raped," Alice slammed the door as she left, vaguely aware that of Andrea following her out soon after.

"You still think we should leave?" the blonde asked, "We're better with the numbers here."

"I know, but I just - I don't have a good feeling about the farm anymore," Alice stopped at the fire pit, preparing for a coffee to wash the taste of liquor and fatigue from her mouth, "I've seen what groups like that do. What Rick didn't talk about in his little speech is how his people were asking if we had cooze."

"If he leads his people here then we'll have a war on our hands."

"Rick doesn't seem to want to consider what other than being shot will happen to his wife and child if and when we lose that war," Alice watched as the water started to bubble, perched on the log next to Andrea, "They mentioned having a guy from Fort Benning - that's gone, so we can't go there. How are a bunch of kids and people supposed to fight trained military?"

"If we have to fight then we can," Andrea said, "What do you suggest we do?"

"Execute him," Alice's voice was cold, her eyes were glued to the floor as to not betray the way she winced at her words, "I don't intent to let anything like what his kind of group does to people happen to anyone, not again."

"You really think we can convince them to do it?"

"No," Alice put the instant coffee into her cup, remembering that they needed more sugar soon, "We can speak to Rick, but whatever you do, don't get Shane to do anything. I don't know if he can live with that."

"Can you?" Andrea shifted on the log to face Alice, "We need to deal with this."

"We- I don't know. We'll figure this out later." Alice slowly stirred the coffee as what Andrea was proposing sank in, "Tell Shane I'm going out with Daryl so I can't take a watch."

"Of course," the blonde stood, "Looks like he's already on his way."

The brunette looked up from her steaming black coffee, squinting at the sun behind Shane that offset his silhouette against the light, leaving him covered in shadow as he approached them.

"We still leavin' or what?" he crouched before the women, prompting Andrea to sit back down on the log. Shane ran both hands over his head, fingers interlocked, then rested his chin on them as he spoke, "Us three are the only ones with any damn inclination as to what's gonna come if they do this, send him out there with a care package. They're gonna wait around for it, but we can see it, so we just gotta go."

"Rick's pitch to Hershel to let you stay was convincing," Alice said, blowing on the hot liquid as the scent of coffee overtook the smell of the fields, "What if the three of us run into Randall's group out there?"

Alice wanted to get far away. Her skin was crawling at the idea of Randall's group ending up here, leering at her like Tony had - and doing worse to all of them. Going out there alone was equally terrifying, but Shane and Andrea were good at surviving - but they had a huge chance of walking right into one of those groups like they had in town, and who knew if Shane and Andrea were as quickdraws as Rick?

"Have you ever thought about using a lighter touch?" Andrea asked the man, "Abandoning the search for Sophia, taking out the walkers in the barn, lying to Lori last night, those were all the right calls - it's your presentation that leaves something to be desired."

"What about Lori?" Alice furrowed her brows, sipping at the scalding coffee. It must have had something to do with Lori crashing a car last night.

"Told her Rick was already safe. Woman decided walkin' all the way to town in the dead of night with one gun after a car accident was the right choice," Shane ran his hand over his nose, looking down at the mention of Rick's wife. Alice wanted to slap Lori, honestly. Some selfish part of her wondered if, after destroying Rick and Shane at first, it would save their friendship and Shane's mind if she was gone.

And then she hated herself for even considering someone's death as a good solution. Lori was pregnant and she'd do whatever she had to to keep the stupid woman safe.

"Andrea's right, though," Alice changed the topic, "You make the right calls but being a little more gentle might work more in your favor."

"That's what none of y'all seem to get, this world ain't gentle," Shane shifted his hands from under his jaw to clasp over his mouth.

"And that's why we should try to be," Andrea said. They fucked each other with their eyes for a moment and Alice rolled hers, "I see you pushing everyone away and for what?"

"I'll always be the odd man out, same as you," Shane turned to Alice, "You're doing alright for yourself, what with Dixon under ya thumb and Rick listenin' to some of the shit you say? Think you ought to share your secrets with us, girl."

"Sure, Shane," she forced out a sarcastic drawl, ignoring the twist in her chest at his words. Alice saw the hunter in question moving towards the main camp, and figured she didn't have very long before they went out, "We should try and deal with Randall, see if it isn't safe to stay. There's food here." There was Daryl here.

"Man, we wasn't ever gonna leave, huh?" Shane buried his face in his hands before springing to his feet, "I shoulda left with y'all when I had the chance."

Alice wondered if that was because then he never would have had to find out about his baby, "You two should go be alone together," she smirked, climbing to her feet and checking the ax in her belt before grabbing her backpack from the space outside her and Shane's tent.

"I-"

"Andrea, I totally know, least of all 'cause Shane is as readable as a book," Alice downed the rest of her coffee and put the cup with the other dirty dishes, swinging her backpack on, "I approve - go forth and be fruitful, except use a condom."

While Andrea just awkwardly laughed, even Shane had pink tinges on his face, and Alice grinned because it felt nice to get revenge on Shane's crude humor.

As she walked away, she heard Andrea say, "We should check the perimeter for walkers," and Alice let out a loud barked laugh and looked back. Shane flashed her a smirk as they strode off in step with one another, heading straight for the woods in the opposite direction that Alice was going.

Alice had to stop to retie her boots, unknowingly besides the Grimes' tent, and heard the last snippets of the conversation inside.

"You killed the living to protect what's yours?" Lori asked, and Alice heard the rustling of fabric. She paused mid-way through the bow in her lacing. This sounded like a private conversation and she knew she should tie her lace quickly and go, but nosey bastard that she was, she was compelled to listen.

"That's right," Rick said, sounding hesitant.

What Lori said next was a whisper, and Alice wasn't sure she made it out properly, "Shane thinks I'm his."

Alice swallowed and shook her head. She'd misheard - "And he says you can't protect us. You're gonna get us killed. He's dangerous, Rick, and he won't stop."

Alice finished tying her boots, hands shaking, hurrying away before she heard anymore. What the fuck was Lori playing at? She had to have misheard. Lori wasn't - Lori couldn't be. Some part of her wanted to turn around and yell at Lori, but Rick wouldn't. He wouldn't kill Shane. He wouldn't believe Lori's bullshit.

"We should start searching in the opposite direction to wherever those two rabbits are going," she gave the hunter a fake smile as she gestured back in the direction of Shane and Andrea, still trying to understand what she'd heard. Daryl raised an eyebrow but just grunted, gesturing for her to follow him.

* * *

They emerged from the woods and into the large field, the big emerald farmhouse in the distance.

"She could be on this farm," Alice suggested, walking side by side with Daryl now that they weren't following tracks through the woods.

"Wouldn' touch this ugly ass house with a ten-foot pole," Daryl adjusted his grip on his crossbow as they got closer, "What kinda rich 'n' stupid you gotta be to paint ya house green in the middle of a damn farm?"

"They probably wore floral floor-length skirts and jackets with tassels too," Alice nodded to the white pickup parked up front. It had pink flowers painted around it. Daryl smirked as he yanked open the door.

"Keys are in 'ere but there's no fuel," he said, "Might be some of these assholes left inside."

Alice pulled her ax from her belt as they approached the porch. Daryl banged on the door, waiting with his crossbow raised and peering through the window.

"What are you doing?"

"Bringin' 'em to us, saves 'em jumpin' us inside," after another minute, Daryl swung open the door, and immediately grimaced. Alice could smell the rot from where she was, and kept her ax raised though the lack of sound had her figuring it was just a corpse.

"Look," Daryl gestured to the ground, and Alice swallowed at the tracks of footsteps in the dust. They were a few days old, if that.

"That's not walkers, or Sophia's shoe size," Alice glanced up the stairs and to the landing, "They were a few hours walk away from us."

"They're gone now," Daryl shrugged, "See if there's anythin' left in here."

They cleared the house, but there wasn't anything left of importance. Some fabrics, knitting and sewing supplies, and feminine hygiene supplies upstairs which Alice took. Whatever group had been here either didn't have women or didn't care and that was more concerning than all of the supplies being gone.

"Find anything useful?" she asked Daryl as they sat on the porch for a break and a replan. They'd found no signs of Sophia, and the group that had been here wasn't a comforting thought. They could have gotten to the little girl first, being so close to the farm, and if it was Dave and Tony's people…

"Nawh, only thing worth shit is that truck and they already siphoned the gas from it," Daryl shrugged, taking the smoke from her fingers as she gave him the last half, "Gonna circle back closer to the highway an' the creek, see if we can't figure out which direction this little girl went in from there."

"You cut the search grid in half by finding her doll," Alice said, fiddling with the empty protein bar wrapper in her hand, "I still don't even know how you survived all that."

"Told ya before, ain't no one can kill a Dixon but a Dixon," Daryl raised one knee up to his chest as he smoked. Alice found herself tugging at her jacket, even after all the walking still feeling the chill in the air. It really was getting late in the year.

Alice was going to comment on it being about Merle but bit her lip. They were already searching for one missing person, and without thinking she blurted out what had been on her mind since they left the farm, "I think Lori is trying to turn Rick against Shane."

"He's a piece 'a shit," Daryl shrugged, taking a drag of the smoke, "Pro'lly tellin' him the damn truth."

"He isn't - They were talking about Rick killing people or something to protect what's his, and she said - she said that Shane thinks she's his," Alice bit her nail, waiting for Daryl to respond. The silence was dragged out and Alice worried he wouldn't respond.

"This group is broken," he shrugged, "Can't imagine officer shitstain is much better'n this group a people ya so scared of."

"What?"

"Didn' ya see them scratches on his neck back at the CDC?" Daryl scoffed, "Like I told ya, observant. Mrs Grimes did that to 'im and I ain't sure it was durin' a fuck neither. He did somethin' to 'er."

"He wouldn't - I've been sharing a tent with him. If he was like that then…" Alice shook her head, standing, "We should keep searching for Sophia."

"Be careful aroun' that asshole," Daryl said, launching the cigarette butt to the ground as he followed her, "Keep on payin' attention; you ain't half bad at trackin' for a city girl."

Alice muttered that she would, too conflicted to quip back. Daryl was wrong _._ He had to be.

" _What actually happened to your neck?"_

" _I told you-"_

" _Cut the shit. Lori got super quiet when T-Dog mentioned it."_

" _It ain't your business."_

Shane hadn't - he hadn't done something to Lori, had he? Alice couldn't help but question everything he'd told her about Otis, about Lori, and worry about him with Andrea. But he wouldn't… he wasn't like that.

"Hey, you listenin'?" Daryl called, and Alice looked up. He was ahead of her by a few steps, looking back impatiently.

"Um,"

"Was tellin' ya bout this deer trail 'ere. 'S headin' the way we wanna go, 'best see if we cant get us some dinner."

* * *

lice felt exhaustion in all of her limbs, causing her to be reluctant to move from where she was curled up in her sleeping bag, yet her eyes wouldn't stay closed and her mind wouldn't shut off. She was terrified. Of outsiders, of the walkers, maybe even of Shane. Alice was glad for the empty tent right then. She hadn't wanted things to be normal so badly since that first day after Delia died. She tried to push it away, but it kept on coming back. The memories of that night. She regret it, more than anything. She should be dead rather than here, draining the group's resources.

"Are you?" Alice pressed her palms into her eyes and didn't look, didn't look because she knew what she'd see - or think she saw, "You are a silly girl, ma amour."

"You're not real," Alice hissed, "I was lonely before so I spoke to you - but I'm not, I'm not alone now so fuck off."

"You did not shoot those men today. You did not shoot those men who raped and murdered me and now you share a tent with a monster."

"He's not a monster," Alice peered through her fingers and caught a glimpse of a white sneaker and covered her eyes with her palms again, rubbing at them, "He's the only one smart enough to know what to do in this world. Daryl might have all the skills - but - but Shane knows what it has to be like."

"Unlike you. You are a coward," her voice was musical and as she laughed it sounded like strange chimes, "You are no better than one of those braindead demons out there."

"That's not me anymore," Alice fumbled for the tent zipper with her eyes closed. Don't look. Don't look. She grabbed her boots and shoved her feet into them unlaced, glad to be in her sweatpants and t-shirt, and stumbled out of the tent.

Against her better judgment, glanced back. One of Shane's vaguely white shirts was on the ground. Not _her_ shoes, then. Alice saw the man himself perched on the RV, police cap on his head and his shotgun lay across his lap. She crawled up the ladder, wondering how to approach it.

"Girl, it's nearly midnight by Dale's time. You should be sleepin."

"I guess that means it's still the 20th if we're before midnight," Alice pulled the card from behind her back, smiling, "I meant to give it to you earlier, but… you know. Happy birthday."

"It's my birthday?" Shane raised an eyebrow, but he was smiling. Alice unfolded one of the spare chairs and sat beside him. She thought she'd have been happier right then, but instead, she was just torn up inside because she didn't know if all of this was just for someone who didn't deserve shit anymore.

"I asked Maggie for the date. They think it's the 20th today, so maybe it is," Shane ran a hand over his jaw, trying to contain the grin there, "You were on watch back to back, first the shed and now here, so I kinda gave up waiting for you to sleep."

Shane used a small keychain light to illuminate the card as he read it, smirking, "I see you got Andrea an' Carl to sign it."

"Carl also gave you one of his comics. It's in the tent," Alice said, "I can imagine what Andrea gave you. I did only tell them both about it this evening, though, while you were busy on watch."

"Means a lot, girl," He smiled, shaking his head to himself, and gently tucked the card back inside it's envelope, "Birthday's don't matter so much now."

"I thought that we should start trying," Alice said, "I want to find out everyone's birthdays, and get a load of cards in. We can do stuff to keep morale up."

"Pretty soon we'll be having' twenty-firsts for Beth an' Jimmy an' hopin' the old man don't chase us with a shotgun for giving them liquor, huh?"

"You really think we'll still be here in five years?"

"I reckon y'all will be livin' that long. Just gotta keep it safe here, ya hear me?" Shane surveyed the area, hands tight on his shotgun, making sure that there was no one around. If Alice squinted, she swore she could see a figure stood in the darkness, but by Shane's lack of reaction, she knew there was no one really there, "What had you lookin' like you were gonna cry when you came out here? You sure ain't that excited to give me a card."

"Just thinking about things," now that she was here, Alice didn't know how to breach the subject. Lori is basically telling Rick to kill you, and Daryl thinks you raped her, is that true? That wasn't going to exactly go down well, "I, um, I'm gonna go."

Alice didn't want to go back to their tent, though, not with those thoughts in her head. She didn't want to be alone. She wondered if Daryl was still awake, mentally fought about how wrong it would be to wake him up, and decided to head out to his tent. Shane didn't say anything as she crawled down the ladder and moved away from the RV. Worst that could happen would be Daryl getting annoyed, right?

"Alice, where ya goin'?" she heard Shane call, and she turned to see him stood, watching her. Not wanting to wake everyone, but not wanting him to worry about why she'd walked past their tent, she pointed to Daryl's camp and mimed shooting a bow and arrow before continuing on her way. It was hard to see in the dark though, and Alice found herself unable to see much more than what was close to her. The darkness was thick and impossible out here, and the moonlight was low because the moon was just a sliver, a waxing crescent that would slowly become a full moon.

"Alice, ya can't walk out here into the night without a weapon," she heard the loud voice, and turned to see Shane storming up to her, "Go on back to bed now."

"Don't order me around like that," Alice spun back, "I don't know what to believe about you right now."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"What did you do to Lori at the CDC? Did you - did you force yourself on her?" There was silence, and somewhere Alice heard crickets chirping. Shane took a step back and ran a hand along his head, his other hand loosely clutching at his shotgun. In the darkness, she could only just see the reflection of the moonlight and stars in his eyes when he looked up.

"I- I was drunk, outta my mind. Tried to kiss 'er an' be with her, didn' even know she was tryin' ta stop me until she clawed me. I didn't hurt 'er though, I didn' do it," Shane paced back and forth, "Just thought she'd come back to me, she'd see that I love 'er,"

"What the fuck," Alice yelled louder than she should have, "You talk this big game about Randall being a danger, and you're no better than him!"

"Let me ask you somethin'," Shane shouted, "You have any idea what bein' alone really is? Look at you, comin' on over here to Dixon, goin' off with Glenn on runs like it's fun, you really think you can tell me about bein' alone? I got those supplies to save Carl's life, I opened up that barn, I kept that quarry safe, that wasn't Daryl, that wasn't Rick, that was me! But no one gets it. What's that word you used, a pariah? Yeah. I'm a pariah. More than Andrea, more than you, more than Dixon is tryna be. So you don't tell me 'bout me."

"Otis, the barn, you know I'm with you, Shane, but I can't be okay with what you did to Lori," Alice all but screamed at him, "That's unforgivable."

"I didn' do more'n try ta kiss 'er n touch her an' I stopped. I apologized to her, I did, I- I- regret that. I regret it every day, just like everythin' else I undoubtedly fuck up," Shane scoffed, pacing back and forth before stopping before Alice and stooping down low, slapping the side of his head before speaking, "Don't you think I know I'm a piece of shit? See, I done things I regret an' I done things I knew I couldn't live with but had to, for Carl, for Lori, for my brother, but not one of those people get that I am keeping them alive, day to day. You don't figure that out an' you're gonna end up dead jus' like Sophia!"

The slap echoed through the air. Shane paused for a moment, and Alice tried to ignore the tingling of her palm from the slap before he laughed.

"C'mon girl, I taught you better'n that. Get a good hit in, come on," he goaded, "Let me ask you somethin', if it came down to it and your life was on the line, could you pull the trigger?"

"You know-" His eyes were wide like he wasn't really himself, and if Alice didn't know better she might think he was on some kind of drug.

"Nawh, I don't know. See, I'm startin' to think that maybe you couldn't. You would not pull that trigger," Shane shoved his shotgun towards her, the handle of the Mossberg smacking into her hand, but she backed off, "You have no idea what it's like to live with it, what I live with. There ain't one person on this farm that could do what I did, what I would do again to keep you, an' Lori, an' Carl, an' the baby alive. To keep this group alive. You think you can, that right? Go on, take the damn gun and shoot me here if I'm such a threat."

Alice stared at him for a long moment before he leaned in closer. If she hadn't been so full of fear and anger she might have thought about how shot Shane's mental state was right then. Instead, she yelled, and grabbed at his arm, knocking the Mossberg from his grasp, and kicked for his leg, trying to bring him to the floor.

Shane grabbed her forearms and shoved. Alice stumbled and landed on her back, and for a moment she was scared he'd use that to his advantage.

"I ain't gonna fight a woman," he said to himself, rubbed his face, and offered Alice a hand up. She just stared at him, moving to adjust the unlaced boot that had partially slipped from her foot. She loosely tied them instead of taking his hand.

"Man, you best get the hell outta here now," Alice turned to see that Daryl, having heard the commotion from the tent, had approached them. He had his crossbow pointed right at Shane's head.

"We doin' this again, Dixon?" Shane opened and closed his jaw, a snarl on his face, "C'mon man, you're gonna have to make me. Piece a trash like you couldn't-"

Daryl growled and dropped his crossbow, swinging a fist for Shane's face. It connected with a sickening crunch and they devolved into chaos. Shane swung back for Daryl. Daryl tried to take Shane down, grabbed his shirt, swung more punches in. Shane let out a guttural yell and drove the man to the ground. Shane was punching down at Daryl, over and over. Daryl managed to flip them over.

Alice scrambled to her feet, "Daryl, fuck, stop, stop!" She yelled. Shane grabbed Daryl by his shirt, headbutted him, and flung him off himself. Then both men were stood again, swinging limbs. Alice heard something crunch and shoved herself between them. A stray limb caught her arm but it didn't hurt too bad. Shane backed up, wiping the blood that was running from his nose with the back of his hand, and Alice turned to see that Daryl had unattended blood running from his bust lip.

"You wanna keep on goin', ya piece a shit?" Daryl spat, blood and spittle flying off his lip to the ground.

"Just fucking go back to watch, Shane. Before everyone wakes up," Alice lowered her voice, pressing one hand against Daryl's chest who backed up from her palm but stayed away from Shane. "You're on your last warning so let's hope that Hershel doesn't count a brawl as warning-worthy."

"This-"

Alice interrupted Shane, "I don't care. Go."

"Whatever man," Shane snarled, walking away. Alice thought maybe he'd wanted to fight just about anyone, feel something other than whatever was in his head, but she was still too pissed off with him to go to him.

"Ya ain't goin' back to him tonight," Daryl scowled, "Ya stayin' in 'ere. I'll get ya shit."

"Daryl, it's okay," Alice said.

"He threw ya on the floor, Alice, coulda done somethin' worse to ya. Ya don't fuckin' touch a woman," Daryl grabbed his crossbow from the ground, slinging it over his shoulder, "The fuck was ya over 'ere with him fer?"

"I was sort of hoping that you'd be awake so that I could speak to you," Alice fumbled for her cigs and realized that they were back in her tent, "I went for him first. He shoved me back - he wasn't attacking me."

"Ya still ain't goin' back there. Wait 'ere, I'll get ya shit," Daryl said, striding off before Alice could stop him. She realized that he was still fully dressed, and wondered if he so much as relaxed, ever.

When he came back, Alice was shivering in the cold, awkwardly pacing before his tent. She didn't want to invade his privacy. She was also torn about just storming back to her tent and telling Shane to fuck off out of it when he came back off of watch - she'd invited him to it, after all, and spending the night in Daryl's tent just looked like she'd run away with her tail between her legs. If Shane really was as bad as Daryl'd suggested, he'd love that.

But she wasn't so sure. His version of events was still bad, fucked up in a mostly unforgivable away, but they were understandable. The world was over, and the person that Shane at least believed he loved had tossed him aside without even acknowledging the situation. It didn't make it right - a woman could leave a man if she wanted and didn't deserve shit for it- but Alice knew first-hand that Lori could be a bitch, and her ill-treatment of Shane was beyond the justification of leaving him. She hadn't given any fucks about his feelings. They'd both fucked up here, though Shane had markedly more.

A figure appeared out of the darkness and Alice found herself grappling for her absent ax before recognizing the familiar gait.

"Get inside 'fore ya freeze ta death," Daryl dropped the bundle of her sleeping bag and backpack inside his tent before fumbling around and turning on the flashlight that hung from the roof of the tent. It was a smart stand-in for a camping lantern. Alice fished in her bag for her fleece, pulling it over her head, but stayed outside the tent despite the way her limbs involuntarily shook in her attempts to light a cig, trying to relieve the stress and fear.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked as Daryl grabbed his sleeping bag, dumping it outside of the tent, "Daryl-"

"I ain't creepin' around on you," Daryl laid out his sleeping bag but Alice used her free hand to grab the end of it and pull it back towards the tent, "I slept under the stars many a time, girl. Jus' get yaself some damn beauty sleep or somethin'."

"You don't have to do that Daryl, it's freezing out there," Alice said, taking a drag from the smoke. The orange light illuminated both of their faces, "Even if you did… I don't want to be alone."

He watched her for a long moment before nodding, and Alice held out the cig to him. He took it, having a few drags before handing it back.

"Do you… do you ever think you hear anyone who's gone? Or see them?"

"Why?" Daryl narrowed his eyes.

"I," Alice felt her chest tighten in fear, but she trusted Daryl, "I used to see Delia. Before I met Glenn. And I did - earlier. Again."

"Saw Merle that day in the creek," Daryl shrugged, "'nough of an asshole that it coulda been him in the flesh. He ain't dead though, jus' gone. I don't believe in ghosts or nothin', jus' ya mind playin' tricks is all."

"Oh," Alice passed the cig back over. She couldn't help but contain the small smile she had at not being alone in that, "I thought I was losing my mind. For awhile I thought ghosts were real, what with the dead already walking. Not a stretch."

"You ain't heard my story about the chupacabra I saw, huh?"

"A what?"

"Vampire dog," Daryl raised a hand to wipe at his bloody mouth. Alice searched in her backpack, pulling out an old rag, and the half-empty bottle of water from the day, and dampened the cloth before moving before Daryl.

"Let me," Daryl stared at her, head slightly shifted back from her, "Daryl, I don't bite. Tell me about that dog."

Daryl shrugged, took a pull of the cig, and took the cloth from her hand, wiping at his skin with a rough force that couldn't have felt good on his soon-to-be-bruising.

"I was huntin', an I see this deformed ass dog runnin' through the woods. Gets my damn deer and sucks its blood out. Musta been 'bout this big," he lifted his hands to show her the size, stretching his arms out, and Alice laughed, "Son of a bitch cost me dinner for a week. Merle reckoned it was the mushrooms, but I know what I saw."

"It was definitely the shrooms. I had pot a few times. I once decided I could see people's souls while I was high. Told my mum that her soul was that of a Nazi General when she bollocked me and my dad that he had to stay away from the evil cow. Not my finest moment. I'm just glad I'm not that asshole anymore."

"Ya daddy tell your mama ta let up on ya?"

"He threatened to kick me out," Alice swallowed, "I think the only reason they didn't was that they felt sorry for me after my friend died. I got so much worse after that. Drinking and drugs and being an idiot with guys - and later, girls - that only wanted me for my reputation of being easy."

"People are assholes."

"Amen," Alice said, kicking off her boots and crawling inside of the tent and into her sleeping bag, "Sleep in your tent, Daryl. If you're uncomfortable with me here, I'll go. Dale hates Shane, so he'll let me in the RV - or I'll just kick Shane out of the tent that Dale gave to me, anyway." She was rambling.

"Ya can stay here," Daryl stubbed out the cig on the closest tree, flattening out his sleeping bag and putting a blanket over the top before closing the tent door. In the harsh white light of the flashlight, Alice watched Daryl bed down on his sleeping bag in full clothes and boots.

She raised her brows, "You're that paranoid?"

"Gotta be careful," Daryl rolled over, facing away from her, and Alice frowned before reaching off to shut off the light. She hadn't meant to offend him.

"I sleep in these, just in case, too," she said, but by the silence following it, Daryl was already done talking. She turned over herself and hoped that she didn't snore. There were no voices or figures in the night after that, and she slept as soundly as someone wrought with nightmares about guns and rapists could.

* * *

"I need to know what happened last night," Rick was stood at Daryl's campsite, looking between the two for any signs of harm other than Daryl's bruised lip and cheek.

"I started a fight with Shane and Daryl stepped in," Alice sipped at her coffee. She hadn't slept well, again.

"Asshole threw 'er on the floor-"

"I slapped him, and then I tried to knock him to the floor, so he shoved me," Alice said, "You two should probably be talking about the fact he didn't hit me."

"You need to tell me if you think he's dangerous." Rick crouched down before Alice, his eyes pleading her for the truth. Alice remembered what Lori had told him, just the day before. He probably needed an excuse to go after Shane, or some sort of backing to her fear of him.

"No," Alice said, and Rick visibly relaxed, "But he is losing his mind. He needs his brother, Rick. No matter what."

Rick met her eyes and he nodded. He looked like he was about to say something else, but Shane himself strolled into the camp. He had swollen eye and a bruised but thankfully unbroken nose, "You comin' for training or what? We gotta work on that fighting, girl."

"Ya got some nerve comin' 'ere after last night," Daryl lunged to his feet but Rick put a hand against the younger man's chest.

"It's fine," Alice said, downing the rest of her lukewarm coffee, "I am. He's right; I can't fight for shit."

Rick didn't try to stop Alice as she strode away with Shane, and Shane didn't say anything until they were in that same field behind Hershel's house. Alice should have been scared of him, or angry, but she wasn't.

"I really didn' mean ta do anything to Lori," Shane's shoulders were hunched and his head was lowered like a schoolkid being told off, "Tried kissin' her an' touchin' her, but the moment I realized she didn't want me I stopped. I jus' wasn't in my right mind - an' I have apologized to her. I'm sorry about shovin' ya, and fightin' the redneck."

"Fighting people isn't a great way to deal with shit, but I sort of get it." Alice had one arm bent over her back to stretch it out.

"Neither's smoking," his mouth held the shadow of a hopeful smile.

"I still think you're an utter cunt, and I'm still disgusted with you, honestly I can't justify what you did to Lori assuming that I even believe you."

Shane nodded his lowered head, "I know, I can't ever take that back. Wish I could take it all back but I can't."

"We should start," Alice said, cutting off his monologue. She really did still think he was a rat, and if she didn't understand how fucked up your mind could get then she might have still hated him. Even without hatred, she couldn't help but narrow her eyes when she looked In his direction. Alice didn't know what Shane was capable of anymore. Part of her wanted to go back to Daryl and head out into the woods then and there, but that was for later. Right now, she needed to learn how to fight. She needed it and no one but Shane was offering to teach her.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank yous all for reading 3 it makes me so happy happy. So next chapter is going to deal with the plans for Randall's execution, but the one after is actually going to have a pretty big canon divergence and I'm really excited to see what you all think! I wanted to squish it all into one chapter but the next one is pretty long so we all just gotta wait : (. I am so excited to share it with you guys you have no ideaaa.**

 **Let me know what you thought of this chapter! Bad/good? What about the changes in Alice - is she changing for worse or for better rn? Is Shane and Daryl's constant conflict going to have lasting consequences?**


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